More Than Duty
by azbookworm
Summary: AU beginning during dinner in episode 5 of Season 1 and continuing through the rest of Season 1 and Season 2.
1. Chapter 1

More Than Duty

AU beginning during dinner in episode 5 of Season 1 and continuing through the rest of Season 1 and Season 2.

Robert smiled across the table at the sight of his eldest daughter and his heir laughing together. It warmed his heart to see Mary and Matthew warming up to each other. While he had never supported Cora's ridiculous idea that Mary should consider marriage to Sir Anthony, if this farce of a dinner party opened Mary's mind up to the possibility of a union with Matthew, then it was well worth it. Robert ducked his head to hide his smile, knowing that it would do no good to allow Mary to see his pleasure at the attention she was bestowing on Matthew, knowing his daughter was stubborn and rarely followed a path she knew others wanted her to take.

Yes, tonight would have been perfect if only that ache in his arm would cease. It had been plaguing him all day and only seemed to be getting worse. He was at a loss to explain the ache - he could not remember straining his arm in any way. The ache was not easing either. In fact, it was getting worse and spreading beyond his arm into his chest. Normally, he would retire early, especially in light of how tired he had felt all week, but to do so with guests present would be the height of rudeness so Robert decided he would simply try his best to ignore the growing discomfort.

"Shall we go through?" Cora asked, shaking Robert from his train of thought. The men stood as the ladies left the room. Robert was pleased to see that Matthew's eyes followed Mary as she made her exit.

"Port and cigars please Carson," Robert requested as he sat back down, wondering how such a small act as standing up had left him out of breath.

"Right away my lord," Carson replied, hastily exiting to obtain the requested items.

"Are you feeling unwell?" Matthew asked after noticing Robert rubbing his arm yet again.

"Fine, fine. I must have strained a muscle. Nothing to worry about," Robert assured him. "Anthony, I must apologize again for the dessert."

"No need to apologize. No lasting harm was done," Anthony replied with a good-natured smile.

"Even so, I hope that you will accept our apology and will not avoid future invitations to dine with us."

"Rest assured, I should be more than happy to accept any future invitations. Your table has the most pleasant company I have enjoyed in a long time," Anthony said. Robert noted a look that seemed akin to jealousy pass over Matthew when Anthony mentioned the pleasant company. Certainly Matthew could not think that Mary might prefer Anthony's company to his - not when Mary made a point of breaking protocols and whispering with Matthew when she should have had her attention focus on Anthony.

Before he could think on it anymore, the pain in Robert's chest became too much to bear. Gasping for breath, he clutched his chest and fell from his chair.

"Robert!" Matthew exclaimed as he shot out of his chair and rushed to Robert's side. Anthony quickly pulled the chord to summon help.

"Cora," Robert managed to croak, pleading with his eyes for Matthew to get his wife.

"Anthony, stay with him," Matthew instructed as he left in a rush to get Cora.

Matthew found the ladies gathered in the sitting room.

"Matthew, what are you doing here so soon?" Cora asked.

"Cousin Cora, you must come quickly to the dinning room. I am afraid it is urgent," Matthew said, trying his best not to scare the ladies.

"What is wrong?" Mary demanded as Cora rushed from the room.

"Cousin Robert is most unwell. Edith, would you call Dr. Clarkson and tell him we need him right away? I need to get back to help move him to his bedroom."

"Edith, tell Clarkson we will send Branson for him immediately," Mary instructed as she left the room. She gasped when she felt Matthew catch her wrist and bring her to a stop in the hall.

"Mary, you must prepare yourself. I believe it may be a heart attack," Matthew said.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because my father suffered a heart attack," Matthew replied.

"That's what killed him, wasn't it?" Mary asked, the panic, although hidden in her face, was clear in her eyes. Matthew had hoped that she wouldn't ask that question knowing a truthful answer was likely to heighten her fears.

"Many people survive heart attacks," he replied, avoiding her question. With a hard look at him, she yanked her hand away and hurried toward her father. Matthew sighed and hope he hadn't angered her when he only wanted to protect her.

When he entered the dinning room a few seconds behind her, she and Cora were both kneeling and Robert's side, Cora stroking his face gently and whispering words of comfort to him.

"Carson, ring for the footmen. We must move him to room. He will be more comfortable there," Matthew instructed before kneeling next to Mary. He gently lifted Robert's wrist to check his pulse. It was weak, but it was there. "Robert, we are going to move you to your room."

"A man should die in his own bed," Robert whispered. This brought on a wave of tears from Cora, but caused a look of determination to cross Mary's face.

"You are not going to die Papa - not tonight. It is much too soon. Clarkson will be here soon and all will be well. You'll see," Mary declared as she took his hand in hers.

"My beautiful girl, my fighter" Robert murmured as he squeezed her hand.

"Now it is your turn to fight Papa. Please, you must fight for me, for all of us," Mary pleaded as she locked eyes with her father, gripping his hand tighter as if that action would keep him with her. Looking on, Matthew watched in astonishment at this softer Mary, this Mary who's emotions were plain for all to see.

"I didn't fight for you…earlier…forgive me," Robert struggled to say as he gazed up at Mary.

"Don't! Don't start saying your goodbyes," Mary ordered. "Of course I forgive you Papa. No matter what happens, I will always forgive you and always be on your side. But you are not saying goodbye." By sheer power of will, Mary kept the her voice steady and kept her tears from falling.

Matthew's attention was drawn away from observing Mary when he heard the footmen enter the room. "Mary, Cousin Cora, we must move him. He will be much more comfortable in bed than on the floor."

"Yes, of course," Mary said, rising and moving to help her mother rise as well. Matthew could not help but notice Mary's strength and the fact that Cora was leaning on her daughter for support.

"William, Thomas, you will assist Mr. Crawley and I in carrying his Lordship to his room. And be careful about it - If you bump him into anything, I shall have your heads," Carson instructed.

Slowly and carefully, the four men carried Lord Grantham from the dining room to his bedroom. It was not long after they had him settled in bed when Dr. Clarkson arrived. After listening to Matthew describe what occurred in the dinning room and examining Lord Grantham, Dr. Clarkson proclaimed that it was indeed a heart attack.

"Will he recover?" Mary asked.

"It is much too soon to tell. He needs rest now, and I will examine him again tomorrow. Sadly, there is nothing more we can do. I will be back first thing in the morning."

"I should bid you good night as well," Matthew offered, wanting to give the family some time alone together.

"Stay. You should stay," Lord Grantham managed to say before the effort became too much.

"If something should happen, he wants the heir to be here," Mary explained. He was surprised to note that there was no accusation or anger in her voice. "Please stay. It will make him feel more comfortable knowing you are here."

"Of course I will stay if you want me to."

"He wants you to. That is enough for me. If you will excuse me, I will speak with Mrs. Hughes and have her arrange a room for you," Mary said as she slipped from the room.

"Thank you Matthew. It will give Robert peace of mind to know you are at hand."

"Of course Cousin Cora. If there is anything you need, you need only ask."

"Thank you but there isn't much any of us can do right now beyond waiting."

"If you will excuse me, I think I ought to send for Mosley to bring some sleepwear and clothing for tomorrow if I am to stay," Matthew said. While it was true that he needed these supplies, in truth he wanted to give Cora time alone with her husband.

Stepping into the hallway, he was shocked to see Mary, her shoulders hunched and heaving with silent sobs as she leaned against the wall for support. His heart went out to this Mary, but he wasn't sure how to approach her or even if she would want him to.

Before he could decide how to respond, she seemed to sense his presence. Turning around she saw him and quickly wiped away her tears. "I am sorry. I was momentarily distracted, but I will see about your room right away."

Catching her hand, he caught her before she could turn away. "The room can wait," he said gently as he made eye contact with her. He had the urge to pull her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder, but knew somehow that doing so would be too much for her. So instead, he led her by the hand through the first door he saw. Looking around he figured they were in one of the many guest rooms.

"Matthew, what is the meaning of this?" she demanded, yanking her hand out of his as he closed the door behind them.

"You clearly need a moment to yourself. Tonight made it clear that you are the storm braver in this family, the source of strength. You have to be strong for the rest of them and won't let yourself cry in front of them, but clearly you need to. So I thought I would give you that opportunity. Don't worry - I won't stay, and no one will look for you in here. I go down to the library for a while before I have Mrs. Hughes arrange a room for me giving you as much time as you need," he explained.

Mary was about to protest, out of habit if nothing else. She wanted to tell him that she was fine, that she could bear it. But when she looked up at him, something in the way he was looking at her stopped her. His eyes showed only compassion, kindness, and something she could not identify.

"You won't think me weak?"

"No one who knows you could ever think you weak," he replied with a soft smile. "But even the strongest among us need these moments."

He turned to leave, but before he could open the door, he heard her softly thank him. After assuring her that no thanks was necessary, he quietly exited the room pondering this new side of Mary as he walked to the library.

TBC

Author's Note: This new story line has been playing around in my head for a while and I had to start it. Please let me know what you think and if it is something you would like to read more of.

Also, for anyone waiting for an update to Further Down the Line, the next chapter is halfway finished and will be posted sometime this weekend.


	2. Chapter 2

More Than Duty Chapter 2

Several days had passed, and Lord Grantham was showing no signs of improvement. Indeed, he felt more tired than he could ever remember feeling for any prolonged period of time. Every time he attempted to leave his bed, he became so short of breath within a few steps that he was forced to return to bed almost immediately. He still felt a dull ache in his arm and chest, but had not experienced any more sharp pains.

Looking around the room, he thought of how immensely grateful he was for his family. He smiled at Cora who had rarely left his side. Edith and Sybil sat talking quietly with his mother. Turning his head a bit further, he saw Mary and Matthew sitting in the window seat together.

Matthew had been a constant presence in the house over the past several days and had quietly taken up much of the pressing estate business so as not to place any more stress on Robert. Robert observed Matthew lean in to Mary and draw her attention to a document he reading and clearly asking her a question. He was pleased not only that Matthew was taking responsibility for Downton but even more so that he was willing to include Mary.

"Darling, you look tired. Perhaps you should sleep," Cora suggested when he yawned. Regretfully he nodded, knowing that she was right.

"Matthew," he said, drawing his heir's attention. "I would be grateful if, while I sleep, you take Mary for a walk around the grounds. She is looking a bit pale from so much time indoors."

Matthew looked to Mary who looked only slightly put out by Robert's request.

"It will make your Papa rest easier," Robert urged when he saw her hesitation.

"Oh very well," Mary agreed. At the main door, she allowed Matthew to help her into her coat. "Carson, we shall remain within eyesight of the house. If anything should happen, please send for me at once."

"Of course Lady Mary."

"I am sorry about that," Mary said when she and Matthew were a few feet from the house. While she had come to enjoy her daily walk with Matthew, she couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable about how obvious her father was being.

"Sorry about what?" Matthew asked.

"It is rather obvious what he is doing."

"And what is that?" Matthew asked playfully.

"Clearly he is pushing me at you," she said, daring him to deny it. Matthew considered her remark for a moment. While he was fairly certain that she was right, he had to admit, at least to himself, that he was no longer had the same objections that he had when he first arrived. Any objections he had seemed to have melted away over the past few days.

"What would you say if I said that if he is pushing you at me, I would be happy to catch you," he asked.

Shocked, she looked up at him and tried to read his face. Unsure what he was trying to say, she decided to deflect. "I suppose I would tell you not to be ridiculous."

"Is it ridiculous?" he asked, remembering what she said at their first meeting. He thought her feelings for him might be softening just as his wear, but perhaps he was incorrect.

"Considering the fact that I know your feelings about having one of the daughters pushed at you, yes it is ridiculous."

"Perhaps you should learn to forget some of the things I say," he said.

She looked up at him in surprise as he echoed the words she had so often told him. "What are you trying to say?"

Honestly, Matthew was not even sure what he was trying to tell her. She was gorgeous and he had lusted after her, even when he knew it was inappropriate, since the first time he saw her. But she had been haughty, rude, and clearly disdainful of him since their first meeting. But slowly he had learned that was mostly an act to protect herself in a world that had been unfair to her. Then this last week had been so confusing for him as he had seen so many new sides to Mary. There was the enticing, flirting Mary who sat next to him at dinner. Then the strong Mary who held her family together during tragedy. The emotion Mary who finally let her tears flow. The caring Mary who sat by her father's bedside for hours on end doing any number of mundane tasks to make him more comfortable. The counseling Mary who sat patiently with him answering all his questions about estate management. He had not been aware of all the sides to her before this week and had to admit he was more than a little intrigued. When he saw her now, a smile tugged at his lips and his heartbeat sped up. He couldn't say what it was he felt for her, but it certainly was more than the cousinly affection he felt for her sisters.

"Only that I find I rather like spending time with you," he said with a smile.

"Even under these circumstances?" she joked, trying to lighten a conversation that was becoming too serious and bringing to unsettle her.

"I think I would like being near you under any circumstances."

"Why Matthew Crawley, I think you are flirting with me," she teased.

"Perhaps I am."

Mary was not sure what to make of this new Matthew she was seeing, and in all honesty, she was not ready to contemplate what it could mean - not now. Besides, it wasn't as if anything could ever happen between them - not after that incident with Mr. Pamuk. So what would be the point of exploring any thought of him as anything more than a cousin and her father's heir?

"Perhaps you shouldn't," she replied, meaning to leave it there, but she found herself wanting to temper her comment when she saw the hurt on his face. "At least right now," she added.

"Shall we be friends then?" he asked, it was less than he wanted, but more than they had been.

"Friends," she agreed, taking the arm he offered.

TBC

Author's Note: Reviews are greatly appreciated. Would love to know what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

More Than Duty Chapter 3

Carson opened the door to the library to find Lady Mary and Mr. Crawley standing close together, benting over a map of the estate which was spread out on the desk.

"This is the cottage which had its roof collapse last night," Mary said, pointing to the location on the map.

"Of course it must be repaired immediately. Is there a vacant cottage where the family can be relocated to in the mean time?" Matthew asked.

"This one here has not been in use for over a year, since the last tenant died."

"What has been done with the land since then?" Matthew asked.

"I suppose it has laid fallow," Mary said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"But it must be nearly a hundred acres," Matthew said shaking his head at the loss of production.

"Lady Mary, I am sorry to intrude, but his Lordship has requested Mr. Crawley's presence," Carson interjected.

"Of course. Please tell him we will be with him momentarily," she replied.

"I am sorry Lady Mary, but he has specifically requested to speak with Mr. Crawley in private."

"Mary, please excuse me. Perhaps while I am gone, you could arrange for the family to be moved to the vacant cottage?" he suggested.

"Yes of course. With your permission, I shall also call the agent and arrange for the repairs to begin at once."

"You don't need my permission for that. I trust your judgment. Just be sure to ask him to get multiple estimates for the cost of the repairs. While they must be made, we need to ensure that the estate is not being cheated."

"I wouldn't have thought of that, but I shall certainly do so. I think I shall also talk with Mrs. Patmore and have some food sent to the family."

"Well then, I guess we make a good team because I wouldn't have thought of that. Doing so would be very kind, and I am sure they will be very grateful. I will return shortly," he said, following Carson from the room.

Halfway up the stairs, Matthew stopped and turned to face the butler. "Mr. Carson, perhaps you could tea and sandwiches sent into Lady Mary. I don't believe she has eaten much today."

"Consider it done sir," Carson replied as he observed the younger man carefully. He had not been pleased when Mr. Crawley first came into the family's life, but he had to admit that Matthew had behaved in an exemplary manner in the weeks since Lord Grantham's heart attack. Beyond that, his care for Lady Mary was beginning to endear him to Carson.

"You wished to see me Robert," Matthew said as he entered the bedroom to find Robert alone and propped up in bed by several pillows.

"Ah Matthew, my dear chap. Come, sit next to me," Robert said, indicating the chair by the bedside.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Weak - very weak," he admitted.

"I am sure your strength will be returning soon."

"Matthew, I am not a child to be placated with false assurances. I know I am dying. I can feel my strength slipping away more each day. Hiding from the truth will not change it."

"Nothing is certain Robert. You may still recover."

"My death my not be certain, but it is certainly probable. That is why I wished to speak with you alone. As my heir, Downton will be entrusted to you."

"I shall endeavor to do my best by it."

"I know you will my boy. You are a good man, an honorable man, and my sincerest wish is that I am able to entrust my family to your care as well."

"Of course. Cora and the girls will always have a home here for as long as I am alive and whatever needs they have, I shall provide for them," Matthew assured him.

"Thank you, but that is not quite what I meant," Robert said.

"I am afraid I don't understand."

"I want you to consider marrying Mary."

Matthew nearly choked at the unexpected announcement. "She needn't marry me to have my care and protection Robert."

"So you say now, but things beyond your control could happen. Already there are whispers that Europe will soon be at war. Should you be killed, the estate and all Cora's fortune would go to an unknown heir. While Cora would have some dower rights, Mary and the girls would have nothing. Cora's settlement could not sustain all of them and they would have nothing to attract husbands. If you wed Mary, you will be giving her safety and security - something I cannot give her. You don't know the worry that weighs on my heart. If you do this, I will be able to die in peace."

Matthew stood and began pacing the room, his hand rubbing his forehead as he tried to figure out how to respond.

"You'll need her too Matthew. She can help you run this estate. Love of this land is bred into her. You will never find a better partner or countess."

"What of love?" Matthew asked. He had always thought to marry for love, not duty.

"That can come and will come later. It took me almost a year of marriage before I truly loved Cora. We did not marry for love, but we found it. I am certain you and Mary will too."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I have watched you. I think you may already be falling in love with her. She may take a little longer, but she will get there. You are what she needs - someone who challenges her, who will laugh with her, who will listen to her."

"This is very unexpected. I don't know what to say. I always thought I would chose my own wife," Matthew admitted.

"All young men think that, but then they learn that sometimes duty must trump fanciful notions of idealism. Besides, can you honestly say you would not chose Mary?"

"I cannot tell you whether given more time I might choose her, but I doubt she would choose me."

"You would have been right several months ago, but something happened that changed her - perhaps she has grown up. I don't know what it was, but she is softer now, kinder. She is still a child in many ways though. I don't think she knows what she wants or what is good for her, but given time, I think she will realize that it is you."

"But you are not proposing to give us that time," Matthew pointed out.

"Sadly, no. If I was healthy, I would give you two all the time in the world to world it out, and I firmly believe you would. But Matthew, I am dying, and I no longer have the luxury of time. By operation of law, all I have goes to you. I did not fight that - even for my beloved daughter. It was not as easy as some would think, and the guilt of that weighs heavily on be now. I am asking you to please help me correct that and give me the peace I need. Let me leave this world knowing my daughter will be protected."

"Robert, I need to think on this, but know one thing, if I agree, I will not have her forced or pressured. It must be her choice and hers alone."

"Very well. And don't take too much time to decide for I may not have much time left."

TBC

Author's Note: Thank you for the kind feedback for the last chapter. It really does encourage me to write faster. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and aren't too upset with Robert. Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

More Than Duty Chapter 3

Robert's unexpected request had keep Matthew up for hours last night as he struggled to decide not only what he wanted to do, but what he ought to do. Sadly, no answers were quick in coming. He sincerely wanted to give Robert the peace he needed, but to marry someone who was so clearly not in love with him was not something Matthew was sure he could do.

He had tossed and turned for hours as he tried to sort out his feelings for Mary. There was no point in denying that he was physically attracted to her and had been for ages now, but he knew his feelings for her had grown beyond that in the past few weeks. He was not sure it was love, but he was almost certain it could be given time. No, it was't because of his feelings that he was hesitating, it was because of hers. He was fairly certain that she enjoyed his company now and at least felt friendship for him, but could that friendship ever develop into something more?

After hours of tossing and turning, he had finally fallen asleep, but he in his sleep he was tormented by most improper dreams of Mary. Dreams in which she lay beneath him, smiling up at him with love in her eyes as she met him kiss for kiss and stroke for stroke. When he woke panting from one of these dreams, he cursed his subconscious for adding to his confusion.

A glance at the clock revealed that he had woken late. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he rose from the bed and dressed himself rather than ringing for his valet.

When he entered the breakfast room, Mary was already sitting at the table sipping tea as she flipped through a magazine. Her finger was idly running up and down her tea cup, and he felt the heat rush to his face as he thought of what she had been similarly stroking in his dream.

A cough that escaped him alerted her to his presence. "Matthew are you feeling well? You look quite flushed," Mary said as she took in his reddened face.

Matthew assured her that he was fine as he settled into the seat across from her. Ignoring him, she stood and gently pressed her hand to his forehead.

"Mary you needn't…"

"Oh hush. We can't have you getting sick," she said, frowning in confusion as she felt no trace of fever on his forehead. "Your temperature seems normal," she announced although her hand lingered longer than was necessary. Standing this close to him, she had an urge to run her fingers through his hair. She had no idea where such an inappropriate thought would have come from. Quickly, she yanked her hand away from him before her traitorous hand gave into temptation.

Settling back into her seat, she stole a glance at him as he busied himself reading the newspaper. There was no denying that he was a handsome man, but these recent urges frightened her. Somehow, over the past few days, she had become more aware of him. Now, whenever she stood close to him, she noticed his inviting scent, the way his hair was blown gently in the wind during their walk, and the strength in his arm when she squeezed it in encouragement at an idea he had proposed. She had strange yearnings to lean in closer, to find an excuse to touch him, and on more than one occasion, she had contemplated what it would be like to kiss him. These feelings were most unsettling for her because she had only felt them once before and that had ended in tragedy and ruin. No, she must shut away these feelings. She might be starting to want him, but he would never want her - not if he knew the truth.

"Friday is Papa's birthday," Mary announced, trying to focus her mind on something else.

"Is that so?" Matthew said, pleased to have something to focus on other than his lustful thoughts.

"Yes, I thought perhaps I would invite Aunt Rosamund down from London and arrange a nice dinner."

"I think he would enjoy that - give him a sense of normality."

"Then it is settled. I will arrange it this afternoon."

"If you are doing that this afternoon, perhaps we could walk out this morning instead," he offered, feeling oddly put out that they might miss their daily afternoon walk that he had begun to look forward to each day.

"Or perhaps we could ride instead? I have neglected poor Diamond for weeks now."

"Certainly. We could ride across the estate and inspect the cottage that needs repair," he suggested.

"What a good idea. Shall we meet at the stables in an hour? That will give me time to arrange for some refreshments?"

"I shall look forward to it," he said, smiling at her as she left the room.

An hour later, the pair was ridding across the grounds. Mary was enjoying the feel of the sun and wind on her face. Looking over at Matthew, she had to admit that he cut a fine figure on a house. He may not have been raised as a gentleman, but he certainly had the look of one.

"How well can you ride?" she asked.

"Well enough. Why?" he asked in confusion.

"Well enough to give the horses free rein to run?" she asked, craving the feeling of a good gallop.

"I haven't been unseated in years. I think I can handle a race against a lady," he assured her.

"Well then," she said, spurring Diamond into action and laughing as Matthew was left stare at her in shock. It only took him a moment to react before he was urging his horse to take chase. Despite his encouragement, Matthew's horse was unable to catch Mary's and he was nearly a minute behind her when she stopped Diamond as a small stream. Pulling his horse to a stop next to her, he found her laughing and grinning freely in a manner he had never seen before. This free Mary was absolutely enticing, and he had the overwhelming urge to reach out, pull her to him, and kiss her senseless. He shook his head at the thought, thinking not only was it inappropriate, but it would likely result in him getting a well deserved slap.

He dismounted and then helped her do the same. "To the victor," he said as he offered her a drink from the bag Mrs. Patmore had packed. Still laughing, she took it from him and drank greedily from it. Matthew's eyes followed a tiny drop of water that escaped her lips and slid slowly down her chin, chastising himself for his desire to lean in and capture that drop with his lips.

"I think perhaps you cheated," he teased.

"I certainly did no such thing."

"Perhaps you gave me the slowest horse in the stables."

"He is not the slowest, and Lynch selected your horse - not me."

"And who is Lynch loyal to?" Matthew asked playfully as he sat down and leaned his back against a tree.

"Matthew! You will get your clothing all dirty," she scolded.

"Well, we haven't a blanket," he said with a shrug, not really worried about the state of his clothing.

"Still, it is not very proper."

"Well, I suppose I am not very proper. Now, come sit down. You need a rest."

"I can't. The damp ground would ruin my dress." Her protest was cut off by Matthew standing and removing his coat. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Making it so you can sit down," he replied as he placed the coat on the ground in front of where he had been sitting and then resumed his previous position motion for her to sit on the coat.

"You cannot be serious."

"Why not? You can sit on the coat and lean against me and you shall be just as tidy when you get up as you were when we arrived."

"Oh very well. But it is highly improper so you mustn't tell," she said as she gave up her protest.

His laughter was cut short by the sensation of Mary's back coming to rest flush against his chest. Improper indeed, he thought as he tried to create a little space between them. "Comfortable?"

"A lady wouldn't answer that question," she said thinking that comfortable is not exactly how she would describe her current position. She was intensely aware of the feeling of him pressed up against her back and the smell of him that she found so pleasing seemed heightened. She desperately searched for something to take her mind of these dangerous thoughts.

"You look tired Mary. Are you sleeping properly?" he asked with concern.

"I was plagued with unpleasant dreams last night," she said. He didn't need to ask to know that those dreams almost certainly included losing her father. "Tell me a story," she suddenly said.

"What?"

"When I was little and I needed my mind taken away from some childhood hurt, Papa would always tell me a story to take my mind miles away to another place - sometime he told me about places he had been or tales that he had heard. Never mind. It was a silly idea."

"It is not a silly idea. I am not a very good story teller, but I could try," he said knowing that he would be willing to try just about anything to take her hurts away even if was only for a little while.

"Something nice mind you."

"Alright, just give me a moment to think," he said as he racked his brain to try to find a story to share with her. "What do you know of Welsh history?" he asked.

"Almost nothing. Why?"

"I thought of a story that might do. Several years ago I traveled with a few chaps from university to Welsh island of Anglesey. It is a beautiful place with amazing coastline. My traveling companions wanted to go shooting one day. I am truly terrible at it and not wanting to be the butt of their jokes for the rest of the trip, I feigned a headache and stayed behind. So instead, I explored the village of Llanfaes. I decided to stop into a pub for something to eat and met a most interesting gentleman who shared with me a story I have never forgotten." He paused and looked to Mary who, while facing forward, appeared to be interested.

"He told me of a woman who lived long ago and was buried on the island. She was called Joan, Lady of Wales. She had been born the illegitimate daughter of King John of England, and he had arranged for her marriage to Llywelyn Prince of Wales. You see being illegitimate, there was nothing her father could give her in England, but the Welsh were not as concerned about illegitimacy so in arranging this marriage, he gave her fortune, security, and title."

"She was lucky."

"More than you yet know. For you see, this arranged marriage became one of love. It endured despite all number of obstacles including a series of wars between her husband and her father. But one day, Llywelyn came home unexpectedly, and found his wife in their bedchamber with a lover."

"I thought this was supposed to be a nice story," Mary complained, not wanting to let on that she actually pitied Joan, since as Mary knew, it may not have been entirely her choice.

"Don't judge the story before I have finished it," Matthew said, noticing that Mary had twisted around to face him as he continued with the story.

"So what happened next."

"Well Llywelyn was obviously upset and had the lover executed. He would have been within his rights to have Joan executed too or at the very least to divorce her and keep custody of their children. But he could not bring himself to do. Instead, he sent her away and had her kept under house arrest."

"This is not a nice story," Mary companied again. She was beginning to get agitated as the story was touching too close to home for her liking.

"Just listen. Before even a year had pasted, he realized that he could not live without her - that he loved her enough to forgive even that great of a betrayal. So he braved the humiliation of having an adulterous wife by his side, brought her back, and restore all her to all honors. He loved her enough to forgive her completely. Years later when she died, he was heartbroken. He founded a Franciscan friary on the shore at Llanfaes in her honor and buried her there."

"She must have been very beautiful," Mary commented, wondering how it was possible to forgive adultery.

"I suppose she probably was, but it must have been more than that. There are many beautiful women, and being a Prince, it would not have been hard for him to find another one, so it had to be something more. Something about her that he knew he could not find anywhere else. Ever since I heard that story, I was astounded by it. His love must have been greater than any I had read in the classics for this story really happened. I wonder how many people have known love like that."

"Could you ever forgive something like that," Mary asked earnestly, her eyes meeting his and waiting patiently for his answer.

"I don't know. It seems like a very hard thing to do, but I suppose if you love someone enough, you could forgive just about anything."

Mary silently contemplated his answer and wondered for the first time if perhaps he might forgive her for the incident with Mr. Pamuk. She quickly scolded herself for such a thought. While her sin was perhaps a lesser sin than adultery, Matthew did not love her and therefore had no reason to forgive.

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. The story of Llywelyn and Joan is true and if you wish to read an amazing book about it, I highly recommend Sharon Penman's Here Be Dragons. I used the story here because it fits nicely with the path I plan to have Mary and Matthew follow here. It will be rocky but I promise it will end well. I hope you will take the time to let me know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

More Than Duty Chapter 5

Aunt Rosamund arrived early on Thursday afternoon. After being received, she and Mary took tea in the sitting room.

"My dear, I cannot believe that Robert did not fight the entail when he had the chance," Rosamund fretted as she sipped her tea.

"There is nothing to be done for it now," Mary replied, keeping her voice calm and detached.

"So the young lawyer is to take all and you and your sisters will what? Live on his charity? What happens when he marries? Or are you to go to America and live with your grandmother? Or remain in England with your mother living off her dower portion?"

"I don't know Aunt Rosamund, and I prefer not to think about it yet."

"But my dear you must. Robert is extremely weak and could pass at anytime. It is much better to make your own plans than to have plans made for you."

"And what plans can I make that would change anything?" Mary asked in annoyance.

The truth was Mary had thought much about the future in the last few weeks, but there was no option that pleased her. Living on Matthew's charity would be humiliating , but she would be able to stay at Downton. When he married though, she would become a poor cousin watching some other woman wear the countess's coronet. Living in America was no something that appealed to Mary at all, but how could four women live in England on Cora's dower portion? Certainly she would have no assets that would attract a husband. It was sad and infuriating, but there was nothing she could do to change it. Nor could she unburden herself to her mother or father as that would only add to their worries. No, she must suffer in silence, and she resented Aunt Rosamund's prying.

Mary felt her mood darkening as Aunt Rosamund continued to drone on about the unfairness that Mary knew all too well.

"There you are," Matthew commented as he entered the room, smiling at Mary greeting Rosamund. "Lady Painswick, I trust your journey was pleasant."

"As pleasant as train travel can be I suppose," Rosamund replied.

"Mary, would you care to walk out with me?" he asked.

Mary was not surprised by the request. It was about this time of the afternoon that he normally sought her out for their afternoon walk. Normally she enjoyed their walks, but her conversation with Aunt Rosamund had soured her mood.

"I am sorry, but I am tired. I think I will spend the afternoon resting in my room."

"Of course," Matthew said, trying to hide his disappointment. Over the past few weeks, his afternoon walks with Mary had become something he looked forward to each day. When they were alone, she usually opened up a bit. He found himself trying to see how often he could make her laugh or smile, and on more than one occasion, he had to ball his hands up into a fist to resist the urge to take her hand in his.

He stole a glance at Mary and found she did not look especially tired. Perhaps she was simply tiring of his company. He certainly hope that was not the case. "Well, I suppose I shall walk down to Crawley House and visit my mother. I will see you ladies at dinner," Matthew said before leaving the room.

"You should be nicer to Matthew," Aunt Rosamund warned.

"And why is that?"

"Because you may need him far sooner than you ever expected."

Mary left the room without responding and made her way to her bedroom. After locking her door, laid down on her bed and allowed the tears to flow. Life seemed dreadfully unfair. In all likelihood, she was about to lose her father, her home, and her place in the world.

She could not even bring herself to hate Matthew for it anymore. He did not ask for any of this and had as little choice in the matter as she did. No, she did not hate Matthew. He had been so kind to her since Papa had taken ill. Sometimes it even seemed to Mary that he was going out of his way to try to please her. In truth, she enjoyed spending time with him. He could make her laugh and seemed to listen to what she had to say. She was certain Matthew would not kick the family out of the house should he inherit, but what kind of life would it be to live on his charity?

And if he should marry, how would life be then? She did not want to think on that. Oddly, the idea of Matthew with a wife was unsettling to her. She was not sure why she should feel that way. As Earl, Matthew would have a duty to marry and produce an heir - she of all people knew that. Perhaps if the incident with Mr. Pamuk never happened, they could come to an understand, but there was no way to change the past. There was no use dwelling on that though for the past could not be changed.

At some point, Mary had cried herself to sleep. Anna awakened her just in time to prepare for dinner.

During dinner, Matthew noticed that Mary's eyes were suspiciously reddened, and he suspected it was sadness rather than tiredness that had been the reason she declined to join him on a walk earlier. Despite his best efforts to make her smile, she managed only a few forced grins.

After dinner when the family was settled in the sitting room, Mary soon excused herself. Craving solitude, she walked out the main door and stood enjoying the quiet, moonlit night.

After several minutes, Matthew excused himself as well. Noticing the main door was ajar, Matthew donned his coat and went outside. Finding Mary standing a few feet outside the door, he smiled and walked up behind her.

"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked.

"I am afraid I am not good company right now," she warned.

"You are always good company," he said. She raised an eyebrow at his declaration which made him laugh. "Okay, perhaps I did not always think you good company, but you have been recently," he amended.

"You mean to say I was a shrew when you first arrived."

"Well perhaps" he admitted. "But you had reason to be. Life had dealt you an unfair hand."

"My hand has not improved," she said, still not looking at him.

"Is that what has you so down today?" Her silence told him it was. Before he could decide how to proceed, he noticed her shiver. Taking off his coat, he offered it to her.

"I am fine," she insisted.

"I saw you shiver so I know that is not true. What kind of gentleman would I be if I let a lady freeze while I remained warm? Take the coat Mary," Matthew insisted. She nodded and allowed him to help her into the coat. It was big on her, but she had to admit she was glad to be warm.

"Thank you."

"You do not need to thank me for showing you the courtesy you deserve."

"Regardless, thank you. Not just for the coat, but for noticing that I needed it."

"I like seeing to your comfort."

"Why are you so kind to me? I haven't done much to deserve it," Mary asked, thinking of all the cruel things she had said to him when he first arrived.

"Everyone deserves kindness. Why don't you tell me what has you so upset today," he suggested gently.

"Oh Matthew, you don't want to hear about that."

"If I didn't want to hear about it, I wouldn't have asked. Please tell me."

"I was just thinking about what will happen if Papa does not make it," she admitted after several moments of silence. "You must think me very selfish to be thinking about something like that as Papa lays in his sickbed."

"Not selfish, just practical," he assured her. "You mustn't worry about that Mary. You and your family will always have a home here for as long as I am alive."

"Yes I thought you would say that, but what kind of life would that be?"

"I don't understand."

"I would be living off your charity with no real position or security. I would be a poor cousin living in a house that was no longer my own. Oh I suppose I would have other options, but not that are particularly pleasing. I could go to America and stay with grandmama, but I would always be an outsider in a country not my own. Or maybe we will find a small house in London, but would not be able to live the life I was raised to expect."

"There is another option," Matthew said softly.

"And what is that?"

"You could marry me."

"This is not a joking matter Matthew - this is my life."

"I was not joking Mary. Hear me out before you answer. You don't need to marry me - you don't need to marry anyone. You will always have a home here, and I will happily give you whatever you ask for. I know that all this should have been yours. If I could, I would give it all to you free and clear, but the law does not allow for that. If we marry, you will have everything you should have had from the beginning."

"As sweet as it is of you to offer, you deserve a wife of your choosing. Not someone who is being pushed at you"

"I am choosing you Mary. It is true that Robert broached the subject with me several days ago, but this is my decision. You intrigue me. You challenge me. I find myself craving your presence more than I should admit. I think we could make each other happy."

"I am not who you think I am," Mary said, thinking of the secret she knew would change his opinion of her.

"I did not know who you really were until a few weeks ago, but I do now. And the Mary I have come to know is someone I think it would be very easy to fall in love with. In truth, I suspect I may be halfway there already. I know you don't share those sentiments right now, but if you think you could someday, if you think we could be happy, then say yes. If you don't then say no. But remember, the choice is your, and you will have my support and protection no matter what you choose."

Mary was stunned by his speech. A part of her wanted to say yes. It would solve everything. While she was not in love with Matthew, he liked him well enough and he was pleasing to the eye. But she knew the right thing to do was to say no. How could she let him marry her without telling him her secret? Matthew was too good to be saddled with a wife who was not virtuous. The idea of telling him and having him despise her was something she could not bear, but could she risk telling him when he was offering her the life she always wanted here at Downton.

"Can I think about?" she asked.

"Of course. Think as long as you need to," he said. Taking a deep breath, he reached out and took her hand. Raising it slowly to his lips as he watched for an objection that never came, he placed a lingering kiss on hand. She shivered again and this time not from the cold. "I meant it Mary when I said that we could be happy. I think we are more well matched than either of us ever imagined."

TBC

_Up next: Will tell Mattthew her secret before accepting him or remain silent? You thoughts are welcome and appreciated. _


	6. Chapter 6

More Than Duty Chapter 6

Knowing that Mary needed some time to herself after his proposal, Matthew had excused himself to walk to Crawley House to visit his mother. Mary was thankful for his departure which gave her some much needed time to think. Lost in her own thoughts, she wandered into the sitting room.

"Mary, are you feeling well?" Cora asked when she noticed the dazed look on her daughter's face.

"I feel fine," Mary said as she sat down.

"Where is Matthew?"

"He walked down to Crawley House."

"Did you two quarrel?"

"No, we did not quarrel. He proposed," Mary said simply.

"Oh my dear, have you given him an answer?" Cora asked, the hope clear in her voice.

"Only that I would think about it."

"Oh my darling," Cora said, rising from her chair and going to sit my Mary's side. She smiled as she took her daughter's hand. "Do you want to marry Matthew?"

"I know everyone wants me to marry him," Mary said, avoiding the question. The truth was Mary was fairly certain she did want to marry Matthew. He could give her the position that she always wanted, but it was more than that. She truly enjoyed Matthew's company. It was strange, but when he was not around, she often found herself longing for his presence.

Seeing the far off look on Mary's face, Cora was struck with a new thought. "Do you love Matthew?"

"What an American question," Mary said rolling her eyes. Love was not something that was required in an aristocratic marriage and was not something she ever expected. She liked Matthew more than she ever expected to like a husband, but she could not say she loved him. Despite that, she was not quite sure how to explain the strange yearnings for his presence and his touch.

"This is the best thing that could have happened."

"Is it?" Mary asked softly.

"Of course it is. Why in Heaven's name would you suggest otherwise?"

"I'd have to tell him," Mary stated. Surprised, but knowing where this conversation was going, Cora quickly stood up and firmly closed the door to the room to ensure that no one would over hear the conversation. When she returned to sit by her daughter again, she noticed the anguish on Mary's face.

"Oh Mary, is it absolutely necessary?" Cora asked.

"If I didn't, I'd feel like I caught him with a lie," Mary said. Even more than how she would feel, she could not bear the idea of doing that to Matthew. He deserved to know and have the opportunity to withdraw his proposal when he learned that she was not the virtuous cousin he thought her to be.

"Mary, I would like to tell you to do what you think best, but we don't have that luxury any more. If your father does not survive, this will likely be the only offer you ever receive at least here in England. Are you prepare to sacrifice all you have ever wanted to share something that means so little in the long run? And are you prepared for the fact that he may despise you if he learns your secret?"

"He would find out," Mary insisted as the tears began to roll down her face. She would give anything to erase that night that changed her world forever.

"Mary do you think you are the first girl to lose her virtue to someone else before getting married?" Cora asked gently as she wiped a tear from Mary's cheek. "Women have been dealing with this problem for centuries. A small vial of blood and a few painful grimaces, and he will be none the wiser."

Mary recoiled from the idea of such dishonesty, but the payoff in this case was so very tempting - position, security, and a husband she was truly fond of and attracted to. "I don't know if I could…"

"You could, and you must. Not only for yourself Mary, but think of everyone else. If you are Countess, you can help your sisters find husbands and help support them until they do. But most of all, you will give your father the peace he needs."

"Does it mean that much to Papa?"

"You can ask him yourself, but I can tell you this is what he is praying for. Asking Matthew to consider marrying you was his way of giving you the security that he fears he no longer can."

"I need time to think," Mary said, standing and exiting the room. When she had climbed the stairs, rather than heading to her room, she decided to go to her parent's room. She knocked softly and then pushed the door open. Her father was sleeping soundly as Carson sat keeping watch.

"Lady Mary," he said, standing as she entered. She motioned for him to sit back down and then sat beside him.

"How is he?" she asked softly.

"Not well my lady. He tried to get out of bed, but only made it a few steps before he collapsed."

"Perhaps we should cancel tomorrow's birthday dinner," Mary said.

"If you will permit me my lady, I would advise against canceling. His lordship is looking forward to something that with give him a bit of normalcy."

"But he can't even walk a few feet…"

"Leave it to me, and I will see to it that he makes it to the dinning room."

"I am sure Mr. Crawley will be happy to assist you."

"I am sure you are right my lady. Mr. Crawley has certainly been helpful since his lordship's illness began."

"Careful Carson, you might give the impression that you approve of Mr. Crawley," Mary said with a small smile.

"Never doubt that you have my loyalty Lady Mary, but even I can admit that he has proved himself to be a responsible, honorable man."

"That he is," Mary agreed.

"Now if you will excuse me, I will leave you alone with his lordship," Carson said.

When Mary was alone with her father, she pulled the chair closer and took his hand. Although she had not intended to wake him, the movement caused him to stir. When he opened his eyes and saw his daughter, he smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better now that you are here," he said.

"Flatterer," she teased.

"Where is Matthew?" he asked.

"He went for a walk down to Crawley House."

"All is well with you two?"

"He asked me to marry him," she said, noting the relief and joy that washed over Roberts face upon hearing the news. "I haven't answered him yet." She waited for him to begin to argue for the marriage, but was surprised when he remained silent. "Isn't this the time when you start listing all the benefits of our union?"

He laughed briefly at her observation. "It would be, but Matthew made me promise not to pressure you. He wanted this to be your decision alone."

Mary was surprised at that. No one in her life had ever really given her a choice in planning her life, but Matthew was trying to do that.

"But you want this?" she asked.

"More than anything," he admitted. "I know you resented the fact that I could not make you heir. Perhaps there was something more I could have done - maybe a special bill in Parliament, but it is too late now."

"You must know I have long since accepted that fact. I am no longer angry and have forgiven you for it."

"I am glad of it, but now that I am faced with the reality of what my death will do to you, I find I cannot forgive myself. I have no peace as worry about what will become of you. You were raised with such expectations, and now those will be crushed. This marriage could solve all of that."

"It is tempting to accept," Mary admitted.

"I believe you would be happy with him. He is a good man, and I think he cares deeply for you."

"I thought you were not going to pressure me."

"Very well, we shall say no more on it, but promise me that you will not at least consider it."

"I am considering it, very seriously," she assured him. "Now go back to sleep. You have a big day tomorrow," she said, kissing his forehead before leaving the room.

Back in her own room, she stood by the window trying to decide what to do. If it had not been for the incident with Mr. Pamuk, she would happily agree to wed Matthew. Again, she found herself wishing that night had never happened. It was funny how different her two experiences with men were. Mr. Pamuk did not really give her a choice, but Matthew did all he could to ensure that the choice would be hers and hers alone. Pamuk did not seem to hear her, but Matthew always listened. What a fool she had been. She was coming to like Matthew more than she was willing to even admit to herself. So much so that the idea of telling him and having him despise her was something that she found she could not bear. But then she thought of her father's relieved and hopeful face when she told him about Matthew's proposal, and she could not bear the thought of causing him pain or worry either. But could she agree without telling him, and if she did tell him, would he still want to marry her? If she took her mother's advice, would he discover her trick - he was a doctor's son after all.

TBC

Author's Note: Mary will make her decision in the next chapter, but I felt it was important to fully explore the issues she is trying to deal with. Also, I took Cora's suggestion about the vial of blood from a deleted line in the Downton script book where after Pamuk tells Mary that she can still be a virgin for her husband he says "a little imagination, a phial of blood hidden beneath a pillion. You wouldn't be the first." Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

More Than Duty Chapter 7

Fearing that seeing Matthew again so soon after his proposal, Mary considered ringing for breakfast in bed as a means of avoiding him a little longer. She mentally chastised herself for such a cowardly thought and rang instead for Anna to help dress her for the day.

With a final glance in the mirror, Mary headed downstairs. She stopped only briefly outside the breakfast room door to take a steadying breath before pushing the door open. Almost instantly, Matthew stood up in greeting and smiled at her.

"Good morning," she said in greeting as she sat down.

"Good morning," he said easily as he settled back into his seat. "Is all ready for Robert's birthday dinner?"

Mary was thankful that he offered a neutral subject of conversation, and her nerves eased substantially as she began talking. Matthew noted that the tension he had seen on Mary's face and in the set of her shoulders when she entered had begun to fade away. He had quickly come to the decision that the best approach to take was to avoid discussing his proposal until she was ready. Giving her space and time would be necessary to show her that he meant what he had said - that he would be there to support her regardless of her decision.

"Is there anything that I can do to be of assistance?" Matthew asked when Mary had briefed him on the details of that evening's dinner.

"If you could help Carson bring Papa down to the dinning room? He can't make it that far."

"Of course."

"He won't want anyone to see that, so perhaps you could assist him down before we all enter the dinning room," Mary suggested.

"Certainly," Matthew replied, pleased her her instinct to protect her father's feelings and pride.

Taking a deep breath, Mary decided it was time to address the elephant in the room. "I think he is hoping for an announcement tonight."

Matthew raised his eyebrows in surprise at her remark. "Have we something to announce?"

"I am sorry, but I don't have an answer yet."

"There is nothing to be sorry about," he said before taking a drink of his tea. He was not surprised that she had no answer yet, but he had let himself hope that maybe she was ready when she brought up the subject.

"I am considering it very seriously," she said as she looked up and met his eyes.

"I am very glad, but I meant it when I said to take all the time you need. I want you to be sure."

"Please excuse me," Mary said as she stood quickly and left the room. The problem for Mary was that she was sure about what she wanted. With each hour that passed, she was more and more sure that she wanted to marry Matthew. She genuinely liked him and he was always so kind and considerate toward her - even when she did not always deserve it. But she was equally sure that if she told him the truth of what she had done, she would lose his affection, his goodwill, her father's peace of mind, and her chance at happiness, position, and security.

An hour later, she was still thinking about it when her and Aunt Rosamund joined her in the sitting room. "My dear, I have just heard the good news from your mother," the dowager said as she sat next to Mary.

"It was very wise to make him wait for an answer. Answering too quickly would give him even more power in the relationship and we all know men have enough power within a marriage as it is," Aunt Rosamund commented.

"It was not a ploy. I truly needed time to consider," Mary insisted.

"What is there to consider?" the dowager countess asked in confusion. "Certainly when he arrived he was less than ideal, but he seems to behave as a gentleman. Once you are married, you can get him to give up that ridiculous job."

"It is not that. It is nothing about him."

"Does this hesitation have something to do with a rumor in London," Rosamund asked. Mary looked up in surprise and horror at her aunt's words. Mary was about to deny that she knew what her aunt was referring too, when her shock deepened by her grandmother interjecting.

"My dear, we all had lives before we were married," the dowager said kindly.

"But Matthew doesn't know."

"Nor should he," Aunt Rosamund insisted. "Do you know everything about his past? Do you even expect to? Besides, it is not a love match. It is a business arrangement."

"I think he does love me, or at least, he is starting to," Mary admitted.

"Mary, marriage is a long business, and this is hardly the only secret you shall have from each other. If you want to marry him, you must remain silent on this. The rules for men and women in this regard are different. It may be fair, but it is true. The world judges a woman harshly for an action that is expected for men. No matter how kind or how modern Matthew may seem, he is still a man with pride and he would not be able to accept a woman who's virtue had been lost. He might not feed you to the wolves, but neither would he meet you at the altar."

As the afternoon wore on, Mary become more and more agitated as she waited for Matthew to seek her our for their afternoon walk. One o'clock passed, then two, then three and still Matthew did not come. "Mary, stop pacing. You will wear a hole in the carpet," Cora scolded as she observed Mary's nervous behavior.

Mary apologized and excused herself. Needing to escape the watchful eyes of her mother, aunt, and grandmother, she sought privacy in the library only to find the source of her agitation sitting on the sofa.

"Where have you been?" she asked harshly.

"Right here reading some papers my office sent over. Why?" he asked, confused by the anger he heard in her voice.

"It is past three," Mary said, frustrated with herself that she had come to depend their time together to calm her mood.

"I thought you might desire some time to yourself," he said, secretly pleased that she seemed to desire his presence enough to be angry and flustered when she thought it was being taken from her. "Am I to understand that you want to walk out with me?"

"You don't have to sound so pleased with yourself."

"And why shouldn't I be pleased with myself?" he asked as he stepped closer to her with a look in his eyes that made her heart speed up.

"Perhaps I don't wish to walk out with you after all," she said, turning to leave. He reached out and grabbed her hand bringing her to a stop.

"Lady Mary, will you do me the honor of walking out with me?"

"Very well, but remember, it was you who asked me," Mary said making him laugh. It was only when they walked outside that she noticed that he had not dropped her hand.

"I am truly sorry if I angered you by not seeking you out for our walk. I did not want my presence to put more pressure on you."

"It doesn't," Mary said, surprised again by how much his presence calmed her. They walked in comfortable silence as Mary considered how to proceed. "You said this morning you want me to be sure, but are you sure you want to marry me?"

"Yes, I am sure," Matthew replied knowing in his heart that he spoke true. "Mary, I am falling in love with you. I am more sure of it every day."

"I fear I should warn you, I don't know if I can love you or anyone really. You know what they say about me - I don't have a heart."

"Who ever said that doesn't know you. You have a heart, you just like to hide it."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because I have seen it every day for the past several weeks and even caught fleeting glances of it before then. You have a heart. Let me help you find it," he said, closing the distance between them until their faces were only centimeters apart. She had closed her eyes, expecting to feel demanding lips pressed against hers but was surprised when it did not come. Instead of lips, she felt his hand against her face and the gentle feel of his fingers stroking her cheek. Opening her eyes, she found herself looking directly into his face as his eyes searched hers.

He could see the confusion wash over her face when she opened her eyes. Clearly she had been expecting him to kiss her. he wanted to kiss her more than he could say, but he was terrified of scaring her off. "Mary, I won't pressure you for anything. Not now, not ever," he assured her as he settled for stroking her soft cheek instead of kissing her as he wanted to.

Without thinking, she pressed her lips to his. She nervously stiffened as she waited his his reaction. It was gentler than she expected. He seemed content to stand where they stood rather than pushing her against the tree a few feet behind them. His hand remained light on her face, not urgently pulling her against him. While his lips were slightly parted, he did not try to force her lips apart. She smiled against his lips before she pulled back and looked up at him. His smile was one of surprise, hope, and affection not the predatory leering she had experienced before.

"I am sure," she said. She knew she should tell him, but she could not bear the thought that she would not see this look on his face again, that she would lose the affection of the only person who seemed to see as she wanted to be seen, who was so gentle with her that his very presence gave her a calmness she had never known.

"So you will?" he asked, his head still spinning from the shock of her kiss.

Laughing at his boyish smile that lit up his face, she told him she would only answer if he asked properly. Grinning at her, he knelt down and took her hand. "Lady Mary Crawley, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Yes," she replied, praying that neither of them would regret this moment as he rose and spun her around.

TBC

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know many of you wanted Mary to be honest at this point, but I did not think she was quite ready to do so. She is just starting to develop deep feelings for Matthew and doesn't truly understand those feelings yet. As she does and as she gets more comfortable, she will tell him and it is not all that far off. Please let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

More Than Duty Chapter 8

Mary silently berated herself as sat at her vanity as Anna styled her hair for dinner. What had she been thinking kissing Matthew as she had? She had never intended to, but in that moment she was not thinking. A soft knock at her door interrupted her thoughts. Looking up, she saw Sybil pushing her door open. She offered her sister a smile and beckoned her to come in.

"You look lovely," Sybil commented.

"You look lovely as well. Thank Heaven you aren't wearing those pants again - we wouldn't want Papa to have a relapse," Mary said.

"I will wear them again, but since it is his birthday, I thought better of it," Sybil said with a grin.

"You are braver than I am."

"Someday a woman wearing pants will be so commonplace that no one will comment on it," Sybil said with conviction.

"I doubt that will occur in our lifetime," Mary replied as she checked Anna's handiwork in the mirror. "Thank you Anna. That will be all," she said, dismissing her to go help Edith finish getting ready.

As soon as Anna had closed the door behind her, Sybil sat next to Mary and grinned at her.

"What?" Mary asked in confusion.

"I saw you and Matthew together earlier today."

"We are often together," Mary said, hoping that her nonchalant attitude would end the subject.

"I saw him kiss you," Sybil said, not willing to drop the subject.

"Honestly Sybil, isn't spying more Edith's domaine?"

"I wasn't spying. I just walked out to get some fresh air. I hadn't walked very far down the path and there you were. And as I said, I saw him kiss you."

"This is not a proper conversation, especially for someone who hasn't even had her season yet" Mary scolded.

"My season starts in a few months. And anyway, kissing someone you are not even engaged to is hardly proper either," Sybil pointed out.

"We are engaged."

"But you weren't then. I saw him kneel down afterward."

"Fine, it was right before we became engaged so it can't be all that improper. Why are you bringing this up?"

"Oh Mary, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It is just that I have never been kissed, and I wondered what it is like."

"It was…" Mary trailed off looking for the proper word to describe it the kiss "nice."

"Nice? That is all?"

"Nice can be very nice," Mary replied. "Besides, there can be kisses that aren't so nice," Mary added, remembering kisses that she had not wanted.

"DId you have one of those?"

"I didn't say I was talking about me, but Sybil when your season comes, you must be careful. You must be sure not to send any signals to a man that you might be willing to allow some liberties or they may try to take much more than you are offering."

"But you allowed Matthew to take a liberty this afternoon."

"Not much of one, and truth be told, he didn't take any liberties. I was the one who kissed him, but only after he had already proposed days ago. Besides, we know and trust him, but the men you meet during your season will be unknown to us. You have a sweet and trusting nature. I wouldn't want one of them to take advantage of you."

"You were the one that kissed Matthew?" Sybil asked in disbelief.

"Goodness Sybil is that all you heard?"

"No, I heard the rest and I know all that, but Mary you kissed Matthew?"

"Yes, I don't know why I did, but I did. Why are you so fascinated by that?"

"Because I didn't think you had it in you. I am impressed."

"Don't be. I shouldn't have, and he will probably think less of me because of it."

"I am sure that is not true. Even I can see the way he looks at you."

"You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Of course not. You are my sister," Sybil said, reaching out and squeezing Mary's hand. "Besides, I am proud of your bravery. Women should be more bold."

"Don't let Granny or Papa hear you speak like that. Next thing we know, you will be picketing and demanding the vote," Mary joked.

"Maybe I will," Sybil said with a grin as the two headed out the door to join the rest of the family for dinner. On the way down, Mary obtained Sybil's word not to divulge the engagement either as the announcement would be made at dinner.

It had been arranged that the women would wait in the drawing room while Matthew and Carson assisted Lord Grantham on the long walk from his room to the dinning room and settled him in his seat. As they waited, Mary made small talk with her mother and aunt while silently thanking her lucky stars that it was Sybil who observed her and Matthew that afternoon rather than Edith.

"Would you care to go though now?" Matthew asked as he appeared in the doorway.

Matthew offered Mary his arm on the walk to the dinning room. She slowed her step causing them to fall behind the others. He raised his eyebrows at her action but said nothing. Once Mary decided that the distance between them and the rest of the group was sufficient that whispers would not be overheard she leaned in to whisper to him. "I must apologize for my behavior this afternoon."

Matthew was thoroughly confused by her apology. "Do you think I was offended?"

"Not offend, but perhaps put off by my forwardness."

At that he laughed and squeezed her hand. "Darling, you have my full permission to be forward with me whenever you please."

She flushed at his words. "I would not expect it to happen again soon."

"Perhaps not, but a man can always hope," he said as they entered the dinning room.

She saw a look of joy and hope pass over her father's face when he saw her enter on Matthew's arm. Well, they intended to tell them all tonight anyway so she thought they might as well get it over with. She tilted her head up toward Matthew and whispered "You might as well tell them."

"It is not polite to whisper in company," Granny said.

"My apology, Mary was simply reminding me that we have some news which might be of interest to you," Matthew said, his face lit up by a bright smile. Mary could see the joy on all the faces around the table except Edith's.

"News you say?" Lord Grantham prompted.

"An announcement might be the better way to phrase it," Matthew amended.

"Well then by all means, let's hear this announcement," Robert said, not even trying to hide his happiness.

"This afternoon, Mary agreed to do me the honor of becoming my wife," Matthew said, beaming at Mary. Within seconds, they were surrounded by family members offering their good wishes. Mary's arm slipped from his as she was embraced by her mother. He walked toward Robert who was chair bound and offered his hand. Robert firmly grasped his hand and shook it. "Thank you my boy."

"I think it is I who should thank you," Matthew said, his eyes fixed on Mary as she embraced her youngest sister. The love-struck look on Matthew's face made Robert laughed as slapped Matthew on the back and congratulated him on the engagement.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

More Than Duty Chapter 9

A few days after their engagement was announced, Matthew awoke in a very good mood. Although Mary had not kissed him again, did allow him to hold her hand as they sat together in the library last night and permitted him kiss her cheek as he left her for the evening. The day after the engagement, Matthew had spoken with Robert and offered to move back to Crawley House until the wedding. Robert had insisted that he trusted both of them and that such a move was unnecessary, but Matthew was insistent that he should do so to protect Mary from any unkind rumors. Despite his temporary relocation, he still spent most of each day at Downton and much of that time was spent in her company.

After allowing Mosley to assist him in dressing for the day and enjoying a quick breakfast with his mother, Matthew began the walk to Downton. He was surprised when it was Thomas not Carson who opened the door.

"Good morning sir."

"Good morning," Matthew replied as he looked around wondering why the house seemed so quiet. "Where is everyone?"

"They are upstairs with his lordship and Doctor Clarkson."

Matthew thanked him for the information and headed upstairs to Robert's bedroom. He knocked softly and waited. Soon Sybil opened the door and admitted him.

"What has happened?"

"Papa had another episode last night," Sybil explained. Glancing at the bed, Matthew saw that Robert was sleeping as Cora held his hand tightly in hers. He scanned the room the find Mary talking quietly in the corner with Doctor Clarkson. Matthew excused himself and walked over to her. As he neared Mary, he took in her appearance. She looked so very tired and careworn.

"How is he?" Matthew asked the doctor.

"Not well. His heart is very weak and I fear it could give out at anytime," Doctor Clarkson replied.

"When?"

"You cannot put a time table on these things. He has not recovered as she should have after the first attack and now there had been a second. Each will have weakened his heart significantly. It could be a few days or a few week, maybe even a few months, but I do not think he will survive much longer than that. Now, I am sorry Mr. Crawley but I must go check his blood pressure again."

Matthew observed Mary's lower lip quiver as she fought for control of her emotions. Wanting to comfort her, he stepped closer and placed a hand on her back, rubbing softly. She glanced up at him in surprise but did not move away. "Oh my darling, I am so sorry," he whispered to her.

"It was a horrible night. I thought we were going to lose him," she admitted.

"I am so sorry I wasn't here," he replied, regretting that he had not been there to support and comfort her.

"Don't be. It was awful. I am glad you didn't have to see it."

"All the same, I wish that I could have been there for you," he replied. Looking into his eyes, she knew he was speaking the truth. She bit her bottom lip to keep the tears that had been threatening to fall all night at bay. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and let her cry against his shoulder, but this was not the time and place nor did he have the right to do so. Instead, he settled for softly brushing away the one tear that escaped.

Before either of them could speak, they heard Dr. Clarkson say that Robert had awakened, and Mary hurried to his bedside. Matthew had intended to hang back behind the immediate family, but stepped forward when he heard Robert whisper his name.

"I am here," he assured Lord Grantham as he stepped into view.

"Mary," Robert said, holding his hand out to his daughter who took it quickly as she sat on the bed next to him. "I have dreamed of the day I would walk you down the aisle, but now I fear that dream is slipping away."

"Don't say that Papa," Mary said, not wanting to face the very real possibility that he was right. Mary spent the next few hours sitting by her father's bedside. She was exhausted both mentally and physically due both the emotional stress and the complete lack of sleep last night, but she willed herself to stay awake.

When her father drifted off again, Mary walked to the far corner of the room. Catching Matthew's eye, she was about to silently signal him to join her. When he stood before her, she whispered to him "Find an excuse to leave soon. A half hour after you have left, I will meet you in the library. We need to speak privately."

Matthew nodded wondering what it was she had to say for him as she walked to join her mother. He waited a quarter of an hour to make his excuse to avoid suspicion. Walking down the stairs he encountered Anna.

"Ah Anna, I am glad to have run into you."

"What can I do for you sir?"

"I was hoping you could have tea and sandwiches delivered to the library," he said. Mary looked exhausted and he doubted that she had anything to eat since dinner last night. He knew that not eating would only make her feel worse.

"The library?"

"I know it is proper but if you could make an exception I would be immensely grateful. No one needs to know where you have taken the tray"

"Very well sir. Give me a quarter hour," she agreed.

After thanking Anna, Matthew walked outside to get a quick breath of fresh air. Wandering into the garden, he pulled out a pocket knife and cut a few roses before heading to the library. He only had to wait a few minutes before Anna arrived with the tray.

"Thank you Anna. Could I trouble you with one more request?" She nodded briefly, wondering what he would ask for. "Could you put these into Lady Mary's room for me? I thought they might lift her mood a bit," he said shyly as he handed the roses to Anna.

"It will be my pleasure and if you don't mind me saying sir, it is very kind of you."

"It is nothing," he replied.

"If you will excuse me sir, it is not nothing. Showing care and concern is everything to most women and I think it will be to her too," Anna said before leaving to find something to put the flowers in.

Matthew stood as Mary entered the room a few minutes later. "I took the liberty of ordering some tea and something for you to eat," he explained as she sat down.

"That wasn't necessary."

"Tell me truthfully, have you eaten a single bite all day?"

"No but.."

"Then it was completely necessary," Matthew said as he began to pour her a cup of tea. She was too tired to argue when he handed her the cup. Taking a drink, she had to admit that it was just what she needed.

"Thank you," she said simply, accepting the plate that he offered.

"Your welcome," he replied, pleased to see her take a bite without argument.

Mary ate several bites before she set her plate down. "I suppose you are wondering why I contrived to meet you in private."

"Yes, but I can wait until you finish your meal."

She gave him a grateful smile as she took another bite, thankful for the extra time to gather her thoughts. For the last hour she had been sure of what she needed to say, but she did not know what his reaction would be. Several minutes later when she had finished her sandwich, she took a deep breath and began. "I wanted to talk to you about our wedding."

He nodded, waiting patiently for her to continue.

"I know we had talked about having it take place several months from now, but I was wondering what you would like of moving it up."

"When were you thinking of moving it up to?"

"As soon as possible. I want to ensure that Papa can be there with us. It would mean so much to him and it would mean so much to me if you would consider it."

"Mary, I will marry you anytime you wish. You just tell me the day and time and I will be there."

"But you were the one who suggested a long engagement," Mary pointed out.

"Only because I wanted you to be comfortable with the speed at which everything was moving, but if you want to be married sooner, then I agree."

"If Papa were not ailing, I might want to wait, but he is so I don't wait to wait a day longer than necessary. If he were not there on my wedding day, it would feel like there was a gaping hole," she confessed.

"I understand how you feel," he said and as she looked up and met his eyes, she saw the pain there and remembered that he would not have his father at their wedding. "I'm sorry," she said softly, reaching for his hand.

"It is not your fault. My father cannot be there, but if we move swiftly yours can be. Just tell me what you need me to do."

"Nothing. Granny has a way of bending people to her will. As soon as I tell her this is what I want, she will ensure that it happens. I would think it can be arranged in less than a month."

"I am sorry thought that you will not have the time you should."

"Don't be. I am at peace with my decision."

"Then it is agreed. We will be married within the month."

"One more thing. I do not want a wedding trip. I cannot leave Papa right now."

"Of course not. We shall stay here until everything settles down," he said, squeezing her hand.

"Thank you for being so understand."

"But when everything is settled, I do want to take you away. Perhaps to the South of France. Somewhere where we can be alone." She blushed at his words causing him to laugh softly. "I didn't meant that the way it sounded. I only meant that I want us to get to know each other, to learn about who we both are without everybody being there."

"I think I would like that," she admitted as she tried to hide a yawn.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked. She shook her head. He thought about suggesting that she retire to her room and take a nap, but he knew she would refuse. Instead he asked her for the name of a book she enjoyed.

"Why?" she asked, confused by the sudden change in subject.

"Because despite the fact that you need to rest, you won't take a nap even if I asked you to. So I thought I would read to you to let you rest and focus your mind on something else if only for a little while. So darling, I will ask you again, what book would you like me to read?"

She considered fighting him on this, but the truth was she was tired. An hour or so of listening to him read might be just what she needed. "What about Pride and Prejudice?" she suggested.

He located the requested book on the shelf and then sat back not the sofa, Holding the book with one hand, he held his other arm out, inviting her to settle her back against him. After only a moment of hesitation, she settled against him and allowed him to wrap his free arm around her shoulders. When he began reading, his calm voice helped relax her as she listened to the familiar story.

After reading several chapters, Matthew felt the weight of her head come to rest on his shoulder. Looking down in disbelief, he saw that she had fallen asleep. She looked so innocent and vulnerable in her sleep that he could not bring himself to wake her so he decided to remain as he was.

She had been sleeping against his shoulder for perhaps a half hour when Anna entered to clear the tray she had brought earlier.

"I am so sorry sir. I thought you would have left by now," Anna said before she notice Mary sleeping against his shoulder.

"She might be more comfortable in her bed than she is against my shoulder," Matthew whispered.

"If you wake her sir, I will be happy to assist her."

"No, I don't want to wake her. She will just refuse to go back to sleep despite the fact that she truly needs to rest," Matthew said as he carefully stood, lifting Mary into his arms. She stirred a bit but did not wake. "Perhaps you could guide me to her room."

"Mr. Carson would have my head," Anna said, scandalized by the suggestion.

"You have my word that I will leave as soon as I have carried her there and will not return to her room before we are wed."

"Very well. Follow me," Anna said, trusting him completely. When they reached Lady Mary's room, Anna opened the door and turned down the bed covers. Matthew laid her gently on the bed. As Anna slipped her shoes off, Matthew walked over to the vanity where he noticed the roses he had picked for her earlier. He pulled rose from the vase and removed each thorn from its stem. Walking back to the bed, he laid the single rose on the pillow beside her face hoping that its sweet scent might calm her further and bring her sweet dreams. Acting on impulse, he leaned down and gently kissed her forehead before following Anna out the door when it struck him that in less than a month he would have the right to lay down beside Mary in that bed.

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will try to have the next one up soon. Feedback encourages me to write quicker :)


	10. Chapter 10

More Than Duty Chapter 10

Her wedding had not been quite how Mary had imagined it would be. It was plain old Travers who officiated instead of an Archbishop, her dress was not as ornate as she had planned, her groom was a mere solicitor rather than an aristocrat, and her father was too ill and weak to walk her down the aisle. Despite all that, she could not say she was unhappy. Her father was there beaming with happiness and pride, and that was all she had been hoping for during the past three weeks of whirlwind engagement.

Glancing across the room she spotted Matthew. How strange it was to think that this cousin she barely tolerated two short months ago was now her husband. In those weeks, he had endeared himself to her. She had come to both respect and like him.

As the music started, Matthew walked across the ballroom in her direction, and she noticed again just how handsome he looked in his morning coat. Because they had decided to postpone their wedding trip, they opted instead to have the wedding guests back at Downton for dinner and dancing.

"Would you honor me with the first dance Mrs. Crawley?" he asked, holding a hand out to her.

"I didn't know you danced," she commented as she placed her hand in his and allowed him to lead her to the center of the floor.

"Of course I dance," he said with a laugh. "In fact, I have been known to fill several dance cards during my university days."

"Were you quite the charmer then?"

"Perhaps, but there has never been anyone I wanted to charm as much as you," he said as he settled a hand on her waist and began the dance. Her breath caught in her throat as he pulled a little closer than the dance required. Looking up, her eyes locked with his and she felt that odd yearning that she had experienced several times over the past few weeks. Looking down at her, Matthew had to remind himself that no matter how much he might want to kiss her, that must wait until later.

Across the room, Robert smiled as he watched his daughter and her new husband dancing with each other, feeling more peace than he had in a long time. Despite the fact that he was now too weak to walk and had to be confined to a wheelchair, he was simply grateful to be able to see the wedding of his eldest daughter. "They look so right together," he commented to his mother and wife who sat on either side of him.

"Indeed they do," Cora agreed.

"He looks like an earl. Who would have thought it when he first arrived," Violet commented.

Several hours later, the guests had all departed, leaving only the family. Matthew was at a loss as to what to do. "It seems a little odd that I am to take you to bed in front of your father," Matthew whispered to Mary.

"He is so relieved that we are married that I think he would not mind if you carried me up the stairs naked," she replied joked.

"Careful, I might try," Matthew responded. Mary gulped hard until she looked up at him to see the humor and amusement in his eyes. Before she could figure out how to respond, her mother pushed her father's wheelchair over to them.

"Matthew, I thought perhaps you might join be for a drink and cigar," Robert suggested. Matthew quickly agreed, knowing that the suggestion was to allow Mary time to prepare herself. As soon as Matthew had wheeled Robert from the room, Mary found herself being whisked upstairs by her mother.

"Anna, could you give us a few minutes alone?" Cora asked Anna who waiting in her room when they arrived.

"Of course your ladyship," Anna replied, retreating from the room.

As soon as Anna had left, Cora reached into her pocket and handed a small object wrapped in cloth to Mary.

"What is it?" Mary asked.

"Something you may need tonight," Cora said as Mary removed the close to see a small red phial which she quickly covered back up in embarrassment. "Is there anything you need me to explain to you?"

Mary shook her head as she stood to find a place to conceal the item. She opened the drawer of the nightstand by her bed. Looking inside, she saw the rose which she found when she awoke from a nap several weeks ago. Although she had been slightly embarrassed by falling asleep against his should, she had been touched by Matthew's gesture and had saved the rose. She now felt doubly guilty for what she was about to do as she laid one red item down by the other.

"I don't know if I can do this," Mary said as she sat down on the bed looking close to tears. There was something so innocent about Matthew that made her feel even more guilty about what she was planning to do.

"Of course you can. You needn't worry if your last experience was less than pleasant. Matthew will be kind and gentle - I am sure of it," Cora said, sitting next to her daughter.

"It is not that. I feel awful tricking him like this when he has been so very kind to me," Mary admitted as her tears began to fall.

"Oh my dear, It is too late to change your mind now," Cora said as her daughter cried against her shoulder. She let Mary cry for several moments while gently rubbing her back to calm her. Once her sobs had subsided a bit, Cora handed her a hankerchief. "Now dry your eyes. I know you are upset, but it will all be over after tonight, and you will never have to think on it again. I will give you a moment to collect yourself and then I will send Anna to you," Cora said, dropping a kiss on Mary's forehead before quietly exiting the room. Slowly, Mary got her ragged breathing under control.

"Are you alright my lady?" Anna asked as she entered the room and noticed Mary's reddened eyes and tear-stained face.

"I am fine," Mary said, as she sat down at the vanity to let Anna take down her hair. Anna brought a basin of water and a cloth over to wipe the evidence of Mary's tears from her face.

"You have nothing to fear my lady. Mr. Crawley is a good man," Anna assured her as she handed her the wet cloth. "Shall I leave your hair down tonight?"

"Why would you do that?" Mary asked, for Anna knew Mary preferred to sleep with her hair in a braid to prevent tangles.

"I have heard that men prefer a woman's hair to be loose when…"

"Goodness, what conversations have you been having," Mary said, making Anna blush and stamper an explanation that while she had not engaged in such inappropriate conversations, sometimes she overheard them. "I was only teasing Anna. I know you would never act inappropriately."

"So shall I leave it down?"

Mary thought for a moment. She really did not know what Matthew would prefer and absent that knowledge, she decided to continue with her own preference. For the next half hour, Mary allowed Anna to brush and braid her hair and dress her in her nicest nightgown. She blushed but nodded when Anna shyly suggested that she strategically apply perfume to her neck and behind her ears. When Anna left, she was not sure what to do or where she should be when Matthew joined her. She finally decided to climb into bed and wait for him there, the covers allowing her to maintain some sense of modesty.

On the other side of the adjoining door, Matthew had changed into his pajamas and robe and was now pacing trying to determine if he had given her enough time to prepare herself. He was extremely nervous about how to approach her. He had never done this before and hoped desperately that he did not embarrass himself. Beyond that, he was not comfortable with the knowledge that in consummating their marriage, he would cause her some level of pain and hoped it would be as minimal as possible.

Gathering his courage, he knocked softly on the door that separated his dressing room from the bedroom. A few seconds later, he heard her grant him entry. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her sitting up in bed waiting for him to join her.

"My god you are beautiful. I cannot believe my good fortune," he said as he sat next to her on the bed.

"I feel rather fortunate myself."

His nerves took hold again and he was unsure how to proceed. After a few seconds of just staring at each other, he reached out a hand to touch the braid that fell over her shoulder. Unable to stop himself, he pulled the ribbon at the bottom of the braid and watched it fall away, His fingers found their way into her hair as he worked it loose.

"Anna said men preferred loose hair," Mary said, unsure of what she should do or say.

"She was right," he replied as he leaned in to kiss her throat as he continued to work her hair free.

"Why is that?" Mary asked, distracted by the feel of his lips.

"You know I am not sure," he said as he leaned back to look at her with her hair now falling free around her shoulders. "I think perhaps it is because it is something that is only seen in the bedroom. Something only for a husband's eyes," he said as he leaned in and softly kissed her lips. Despite the rising passion he was feeling, he kept reminding himself to take it slow, to make her comfortable with him. "I have to admit, there is something very arousing in knowing that I have the right to see you like this, that I am the only one who ever will," he murmured as his lips again met hers.

He felt her stiffen at his words and realized that she was just as nervous as he was. Pulling back to look at her, she appeared frozen with fear, and he was painful aware that he was moving too fast. They had only shared one chaste kiss during their engagement and he suddenly realized that leaping from that to consumation was likely terrifying for a lady.

To Mary, his comment about being "the only one" served only to bring her guilt back to the forefront causing the enjoyable sensations his lips had been creating to melt away. Now she felt only fear of slipping and giving her secret away, shame, and guilt.

"My darling, you have nothing to fear from me - nothing at all. We don't have to do anything you don't want to," he assured her as he reached out to stroke her face.

She looked at him in disbelief at the reprieve he was offering. "Don't be ridiculous. I know my duty to you and Downton, and I am willing to do my duty."

Matthew felt as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown on him. He had hoped and thought that she was feeling at least a measure of the desire he felt. He moved away from her, sitting back against the headboard with a sigh. "I want more than duty from you Mary."

"What do you mean?"

"I want you to want me the way I want you. I want you to crave my touch the way I crave yours. I don't want you to be merely willing, I want you to be eager."

"I don't know how to give you that."

"You're nervous. I understand that. Things have moved so fast ,and it is not fair to you. You just need a little more time, and I am willing to give you that." After all, he reminded himself, if a wife wasn't worth taking your time with then what was?

Stunned, she looked over at him, trying to understand. He had every right to take her, she had even told him she was willing. He wanted her, she was sure of that, but he put his own desires on hold for her. It was so unexpected that she did not know how to respond.

Seeing a trace of hurt remaining on his face, she show him a measure of the kindness he had shown her. Taking a deep breath to overcome her embarrassment, she reached out and took his hand. "There are times when I do desire your touch," she admitted.

This brought a smile to his face, and he lifted her hand to his lips. "Well then, I suppose we will just have to work on expanding those times."

"I guess we will," she said as she moved closer to him.

"We can go as slowly as you like," he promised her. Their eyes met and soon their lips followed. Without the pressure weighing on her, Mary allowed herself to relax into his kiss. When she felt his tongue gently touching her lips, she parted them, allowing him the entry he desired. Moaning into his mouth, her hands wandered into his hair, pulling him closer. After several minutes, Matthew pulled back leaving Mary looking dazed.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, confused by his retreat.

"Nothing at all darling, but there is only so much I can take if I am to give you the time I promised," he said. Breathing heavily, he laid back against his pillow, bringing Mary with him. He sighed as she settled herself against his chest and looked up at him. "That passion, that is what I want from you," he told her as he kissed the told of her head.

Mary laid awake well into the night, long after he fallen asleep. After tonight, she knew there was no way she would be able to bring herself to trick Matthew. She would simply have to risk his anger and disgust and tell him. After all he had done for her, he deserved that at the very least.

Once she was sure he lost in deep sleep, she slipped from his arms. Opening the drawer of her nightstand, she removed the wrapped phial her mother had given her. Slipping silently down the hallway, she creeped into the kitchen where she buried the item in the trash box before returning to bed.

Before laying down again, she impulsively kissed his forehead when it occurred to her that perhaps she was falling in love with him after all.

TBC

Author's Note: Thank you for the kind feedback - it really did encourage me to get this next chapter finished quickly. I hope you enjoyed it. I know many of you wanted Mary to be up front earlier, but I promise that is coming and I hope you will stick with me. Let me know what you think and I will try to have the next chapter ready soon.


	11. Chapter 11

More Than Duty Chapter 11

Barely a week into their marriage, Matthew laid awake observing Mary sleep peacefully against his chest. It was difficult sharing a bed with her while restraining his desires and remaining patient to give her the time she needed to be ready for intimacy. Looking at her now though, he was sure that it would be worth it in the end. He was still contemplating this when he heard a sharp knock against their bedroom door.

"It is too early," Mary muttered, turning away from him and burrowing her face into a pillow, trying to return to sleep.

Matthew laughed softly at her, having learned that Mary was generally not eager to wake up in the morning. Sliding from bed, he donned his robe and walked to the door. Upon opening it, he was surprised to find Carson on the other side.

"What has happened?" Matthew asked softly, noting the distress on Carson's face.

"My lord, you must come quickly."

"Is it Robert?" Matthew asked. Hearing Matthew's question, Mary sat up quickly, hugging the covers to her as she listened closely for Carson's answer.

"I am sad to say that it is my lord," Carson replied, hanging his head. Mary gasped and jumped from the bed, the terrible truth dawning on her the second she heard Carson's words.

"Has he had another attack?" Matthew asked, watching Mary frantically yank her robe on.

"He called you 'my lord'. Don't you see Matthew? Papa is dead," Mary said, the tears beginning to fall as she to rushed past Matthew, evading his arm that reached out for her. One look at Carson's face revealed the truth of Mary's words, and with a heavy sigh, Matthew headed down the hall.

Upon entering Robert's bedroom, he observed Cora holding Sybil in a tight embrace as both wept. Edith and Mary were both standing on opposite sides of the bed sobbing. Realizing that this was the first time he had the right to comfort her, Matthew walked up behind Mary, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Oh my darling, I am so sorry" he whispered in her ear. On instinct, Mary initially struggled against his arms, but he held tight. After struggling for a few seconds, she turned to face him and let him hold her as she sobbed.

"I know if hurts love, but he is in a better place. He's left all his pain behind" he whispered as she cried. He felt her nod, but the sobs continued. Having lost his own father, he understood her pain and was content to let her cry all she needed.

After a while, Mary's tears subsided, and she realized that in their grief, no one had taken charge of all the things which needed to be done. "Carson, please send Branson for the Dowager Countess. She should be here. Once she arrives, he can go fetch Mr. Travers as there are funeral arrangements to be made."

"What can I do darling?" Matthew asked.

"Nothing," she replied, but upon looking up she added "but thank you," as she reach down and took his hand.

When they retired for the evening, Mary came easily into Matthew's arms and settled her head against his chest as she had become accustom to doing. He gently stroked her hair as she cried. "I know my darling," he whispered.

"This hurts more than anything I have ever known. How did you get through it?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Because it gets easier with time. Talking about good memories helped me. At first, a happy story will make you smile through the tears, but eventually one day, only the smile remains."

She pondered his words in silence for several minutes. "He taught me to ride when I was seven. He didn't have a groom do it - he taught me himself. He bought be a ridiculously expensive green ridding habit that I insisted on having. He warned me not to kick the horse or it would run, but I thought that would be exciting and did it anyway," she said, pausing to wipe a few tears from her face.

"You were a little rebel," Matthew said, smiling at the image of a rebellious young Mary and the fact that Mary was willing to try his advice.

"A foolish one. I promptly fell off, landing in a puddle of mud and spoiling my new outfit. I told Papa I was finished and wanted to go back to the house, but he knelt down in the mud and wiped away my tears. He told me that I was a Crawley and Crawleys don't quit. He insisted that I get back on and try again before my fears had time to set in. Before I could argue, he picked me up and put me back on the horse. It was the best lesson anyone ever taught me." She was crying again, but sharing the story had helped her smile through the tears at least for a few minutes.

The next few days were hard on Mary, she found that Matthew's advice made it easier to cope so every night as they lay in bed, she shared a new story or two with him. Opening up to him was much easier than she would have expected. He always listened attentively, gently wiped away her tears, and made little comments that made her laugh or smile, and she found herself giving thanks for his presence.

The funeral took place a few days later. Mary was agitated as several guests were lingering at the Abbey following the funeral. The day had been long and emotionally draining and all she wanted was to retire for the evening to the comfort of Matthew's arms. Her mood soured further when she noticed Edith talking with Sir Anthony and delaying his departure.

"You must come pay us a call again soon. Your company is such a comfort," Mary heard Edith say as she stepped closer to the pair.

"I am not sure what comfort my presence can provide, but if it gives you any comfort at all, I shall be sure to call very soon," he replied.

"Oh I assure you it does," Edith said as Mary cleared her throat to announce her presence.

"Edith, clearly Sir Anthony is trying to escape. Shouldn't you be letting him go?" Mary said, lifting her eyebrow and giving Edith a look of disgust. Sir Anthony assured them that he was not attempting to escape but he was keen to leave to give the family time to grieve in private.

"Was that necessary?" Edith demanded when Sir Anthony had left.

"I don't know what you mean," Mary said, rolling her eyes at her sister.

"Yes you do. I enjoy his company. It brings me a little happiness in this sad time. His company is the only thing that has made me smile in days so you just have to take that away."

"Happiness? From that old coot? He is far to old for you."

"What does it matter as long as I am happy? Just because you got stuck with a husband you did not want does not mean the rest of us need to be miserable too!"

"Don't presume to know what I want or how I feel," Mary warned. As she turned to leave, she saw Matthew standing only a few feet behind her, and it was clear that he had overheard the entire conversation.

Mary sat at her vanity that evening as Anna prepared her for bed. When Anna reached for a ribbon to tie Mary's hair in a braid, Mary stopped her. "Let's leave my hair loose tonight," Mary said, knowing that Matthew preferred it that way and wanting to do something to please him.

When Matthew joined her in bed that night, he seemed a little more cautious that usual when approaching her. "Edith doesn't know what she is talking about," Mary said as she inched closer to Matthew in bed. He looked at her but said nothing, waiting instead for her to continue. "I am not stuck with a husband I don't want nor am I miserable. I am horribly sad about Papa, but you make it easier. I am very pleased that you are my husband."

"Honestly?" he asked, tilting her face up so her eyes would meet his.

"Honestly," she replied, leaning in to softly kiss him.

TBC

Author's Note: I am so sorry for those who asked me to not let Robert die, but I had to do it for the plot of the story. I hope you are not too upset and will continue reading. The next chapter will focus on Mary's realization about her feelings for Matthew. Let me know what you think.


	12. Chapter 12

More Than Duty Chapter 12

In the month since Robert's death, the constant feeling of sadness Mary felt slowly ebbed. She knew much of the credit belong to Matthew who did all he could to raise her spirits. She found herself seeking his company more and more often. It was strange how quickly she had come to accept his presence, then to enjoy it, and not to almost depend on it. So she was disappointed when she emerged from their bedroom after breakfast in search of her husband only to be informed that he had left over an hour ago.

After sitting with her mother and sisters for a while, Mary tired of their conversation which Edith kept turning back to Sir Anthony. Excusing herself, Mary returned to her bedroom. Flopping down on her bed, she began flipping idly through a the latest fashion magazine. Shortly laters, she heard the door open from the hallway to Matthew's dressing room. Smiling, she closed the magazine and set it aside. She made herself wait another few moments so she would not seem too eager. Listening at the door, she did not hear any voices and decided that Bates must not have arrived yet to assist Matthew so she opened the door. Her eyes grew wide, and she froze in place when at what she saw when she stepped inside. Matthew was standing in the middle of the room with his shirt unbuttoned as he shrugged it off his shoulders. Hearing her soft gasp, he turned around and saw her staring at him.

"Hello darling," he said, crossing the room to place a kiss on her cheek in greeting. Her heartbeat sped up as he neared her, and her hand, of its own volition came to rest briefly on his chest. For weeks she had been aware of how handsome he was, but there was something about seeing him without his shirt that robbed her of all other thoughts. Feeling warmth rush to her face, she withdrew her hand a took a small step back. Matthew silently observed her reaction, noting that her eyes seemed darker than usual and her breath was a bit uneven.

"Why didn't you ring for Bates to assist you?"

"Because I am perfectly capable of a simple change of clothes."

"Of course you are capable, but you are Earl now. It is unseemly," she said, as she walked to the window to put some space between them.

"And I let my valet dress me each morning and evening even when it makes me feel ridiculous. If I choose to do it myself on occasion, it is no one's business but mine," he said in annoyance as he bent to remove his shoes.

"Where did you go anyway?" Mary asked.

"Anthony asked me to see me."

"What did he want?"

"My permission to take Edith to a concert in York," he replied as he pulled his second shoe off and started to remove his socks.

"I suppose you gave it."

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her question.

"He just took her driving yesterday."

"They seem to enjoy each other's company. Why should that bother you?"

"He is too old for her."

"That is for her to decide - not you. You got to make your choice. Now let her make hers," Matthew said, pulling the second sock off.

Mary's eyes widened further as his hands moved to his belt. He chuckled when he saw the shocked look on her face, but noticed that she was not looking away. Deciding not to push her, he dropped his hands and instead walked to the dresser. "Would you like to go ridding this afternoon?" he asked.

"I can't. I promised Sybil I would go with her to Ripon for her final fitting for her gowns for her Season," Mary said, the regret clear in her voice.

"I cannot believe you will be gone for six weeks," he said. "It will be so odd to be here without you."

"You could come with us."

"You know I cannot. I am need to finish wrapping up my law practice and there is too much here to do," he said regretfully. "You could stay."

"You know I cannot. WIth Mama in mourning, I have to be there for Sybil. I will miss you though," she replied.

"Not as much as I will miss you," he said, stepping toward her and softly kissing her forehead.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Mary daringly whispered just loud enough for him to hear as she lifted her eyes to meet his.

"I am glad to hear it," he said, lowering his mouth to hers as she tilted her face up in anticipation of his kiss. Her hands came to rest against his chest for a second time as his hands came to rest on her waist, pulling her a little closer to him. Pulling back before he lost himself in the kiss, he looked into her eyes that were now almost black with desire. He fought the urge to kiss her again and make their way to the bed that was only a few feet away, but he knew this was not the time or place.

"I am sorry darling, but I really do need to finish changing. So unless you want to watch…"

"I'm going. I need to meet Sybil away. We are supposed to leave soon," she said blushing from the thought that she really did not want to leave. As she left, Matthew smiled, feeling secure in the knowledge that she was coming to desire him in the same way that he desired her.

A week later, Matthew had awakened earlier than Mary and had spent the early part of the morning in the library going over the accounts that he had Murray send him. He was shocked shocked by what he had found and the risk that Downton was being placed in. He quickly folded the documents and headed back to their bedroom to discuss the matter with Mary. He found his wife sitting at the vanity wrapped in her robe, with her hair already done for the day.

"Where is Anna?" he asked, confused as to why she would be half ready with her maid no where to be seen.

"I changed my mind about which outfit I wanted to wear so she had to go press the new one I selected," Mary said with a shrug of her shoulders. Seeing his face in the mirror, she turned to face him and asked what was the matter.

"I asked Murray to send me a full accounting of all our investments, and I am very disturbed by what I discovered," he said.

"Why is that?"

"Nearly all the money has been placed in a single investment."

"Is the stock not doing well?"

"It is doing fine now, but it is a terrible risk."

"But why? Surely Papa and Murray selected a good investment."

"Mary, even investments that look the best can go bad. You have to diversify in order to ensure security."

"I don't understand. Why? If this investment does well, it will be a windfall."

"Yes, but if it does now, we could stand to lose all," he said, searching for a way to explain the need to diversify to her since her father clearly never explained investment to her when inspiration stuck. Stepping closer to her, he brought his hands up to her hair. "You see, investments must be like your hairpins. They are all in different places so if one falls, there is no real damage," he said, plucking on pin free from her hair. "I can pull another, and still no significant damage. Even three, four, five, six," he said as he continued to pluck pins free from her hair. "Eventually, everything comes tumbling down, but it takes many failures before that happens," he said as he hair finally fell loose around her shoulders.

"Now let me show you what a single investment is like," he said, as he took her hand and raised her to her feet. Standing face to face with her, he continued. "A single investment is more like this tie to your robe, a single pull and everything falls away," he said as his hands toyed with the string and then pulled the tie before he could second guess himself. His breath caught in his throat as her robe fell open and his eyes took in the sight of her standing before him in her stockings and undergarments.

He was powerless to fight the desire she aroused in him and he pulled her to him more roughly than he ever had before. She did not object as his mouth met hers in a passionate kiss. Mary's arms came around his neck as his hands ran along her sides and stomach. Unconsciously, they began backing up toward the bed. When Mary's knees felt the bed behind them, they pulled apart and stared at each other, both breathing heavily. Without thinking, Mary sat on the bed and reached out to pull him toward her. Needing no more encouragement than that, Matthew pushed against her shoulders, lowing her lay back against the bed. He kissed her again as he legs moved around his waist and her hands began pulling at his shirt, seeking contact with his skin.

"Oh God Mary," he whispered huskily in her ear as he pushed himself ever closer to her as all rational thought left him.

"I am sorry that took so long, my lady," Anna said as she entered the room before she saw Matthew jump up from the bed while Mary pulled her robe back together. "I am so sorry my lady," Anna said as she turned to leave.

"No, no it is fine. Just give me a moment," Mary said as Anna retreated to the hallway leaving Matthew and Mary staring at each other.

Matthew wasn't sure what to say. He didn't regret what had happened, but he hoped he had not scared her.

Mary was silently berating herself for losing control of herself. If Anna hadn't come in, she surely wouldn't have stopped Matthew. She knew now that she needed to tell him before anything like that happened again, but now was not the right moment to do so. Looking at his face, she could see the confusion and fear there.

"Well, that was an interesting way to start the day," she said, grinning at him to help ease his nerves.

"I am not sure that is the word I would use to describe it," he replied.

"What word would you use?"

"Amazing."

"I like amazing," she agreed.

"I am sorry I ruined your hair."

"Don't be. It was worth it."

"Now my darling, I must leave or else I fear I may lock the door and keep you here all day," he said, wishing silently that she would suggest they do the latter. She didn't though so he simply kissed her cheek and bid her goodbye, remaining her that he had a meeting at his office all afternoon and would likely be home late that evening.

"I will miss you at dinner."

"I know, but my practice is almost wrapped up, so I won't have to miss many more. Besides, Sybil asked for permission to go to some political rally near my office this evening so I will keep an eye on her and ride home with her."

"Are you sure it is good to allow her to go to a rally? They can be dangerous."

"Darling, you must let her make her own decisions. I am sure everything will be just fine. Now kiss me goodbye before I decide to stay," he said, pulling her closer for a more chaste kiss than they had shared earlier. Watching him go, Mary was sure of two things, both of which terrified her - that she was in love with Matthew and that she had to tell him the secret she had so carefully guarded for so long.

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will try to get the next chapter done tomorrow because I will be extremely busy for the first half of next week. Feedback always encourages me to write faster so let me know what you think :)


	13. Chapter 13

More Than Duty Chapter 13

Mary spent most of the day walking the grounds of Downton on her own, needing solitude to work through her thoughts. The revelation that she had fallen in love with Matthew had shocked her but now that she thought about it she realized that she had probably been in love with him for much longer than she even knew, possibly even before they married. It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

She wished more than anything that she had told Matthew about Pamuk weeks ago. It would have been so much easier to tell Matthew when she didn't love him yet. It wouldn't be so hard to bear his rejection then. But now she was left wondering how she could possibly tell the man she loved the one thing that could very likely make him stop loving her.

Mary was forced to return to the house when she felt familiar cramps begin to set in, irritated with herself for forgetting her cycle was due and annoyed with her body for its unfortunate sense of timing. She spent the rest of the afternoon laying down and waiting for her pain to subside. As he had predicted, Matthew was not back by dinner and Mary decided to send her excuses as well, opting instead to have a light supper in her room.

Shortly after she finished her dinner, she heard a soft knock on her door and bid the person enter.

"My lady, are you feeling well enough to leave your bed?" Anna asked, closing the door behind her.

"Why?" Mary asked, seeing the worried look on Anna's face.

"Mr. Branson is waiting for you outside."

"Why?"

"He would only say that Lord Grantham sent him and that you should come quickly." That was all it took to propel Mary out of her bed and down the stairs quickly.

"What has happened? Is he okay?" Mary demanded as soon as she stood before Branson.

"It is not Lord Grantham - it is Lady Sybil. We took her to Crawley House."

"Good Lord, what has happened?"

"I took her to Ripon for the count. She was injured in a fight."

"Take me there at once," Mary said as she moved quickly to enter the car.

When Mary entered Crawley House, she observed Isobel ringing out a blood soaked rag into a basin before again wiping Sybil's forehead.

"My God. Oh my darling," Mary said as she moved closer to her sister who was laying on a sofa.

"I didn't know what to do, so I had Branson bring her here," Matthew confessed as he watched for Mary's reaction very carefully, worried that she would be especially angry as she had warned his that such an event could be dangerous.

"Quite right. Mama would have fainted if she had seen her like this," Mary said, biting her tongue to prevent her from reminding him of her warning this morning about the dangers of allowing Sybil to attend such and event, resolving instead to confront him about that in private rather than provoke a fight in front of witnesses.

"This will sting a bit, but it stopped the bleeding," Isobel said as she pressed a bandage against the cut on Sybil's head. "Did you know she was planning this?" she asked Matthew.

"Yes, I gave my permission this morning. I never expected it to become so dangerous," Matthew admitted.

"It's not your fault. I'm the one who wanted to go. I am so grateful that you were there," Sybil said softly as she looked up at Matthew. Mary knew it was only a look of adoration bestowed on the man who had saved her, but she realized with a jolt that she did not like anyone looking at Matthew like that.

"Are you feeling strong enough to go home?" Matthew asked Sybil.

"I think so, if you'll take me," Sybil said with a smile. Matthew smiled back and held out a hand to help her to her feet.

"Here, wear my coat to cover the blood. You'll look more normal," Mary said, wanting to spare her mother as much as possible when she saw Sybil.

"That's it. Just lean on me," Matthew said. Mary quickly realized that she did not like that anymore than she liked the earlier look Sybil had bestowed on Matthew.

The car ride back to the abbey was silent. Matthew was worried about how angry Mary was likely to be with him for allowing Sybil to go to such a dangerous event. Mary was fighting feelings of jealous that deep down she knew were ridiculous but which she still could not eliminate.

"You'll let me know how she gets on?" Branson asked when he helped Mary from the car. "Please."

Mary was surprised by the request and the earnest look on his face, but agreed to do so before following her husband who was assisting her sister into the house. At the door of Sybil's room, Matthew left Sybil to Mary's care after telling Mary to join him in the dining room when she could. Mary settled Sybil in bed before fetching their mother. Once Cora was calm and Sybil was sleeping, Mary slipped down to the dining room to meet Matthew.

"How is she?"

"She'll be perfectly fine. I gather everyone thinks you are the shining knight in all this," Mary said as she took a seat next to him and taking the wine glass he offered.

"Hardly. I was the one that allowed her to be placed in such a dangerous position in the first place. I'm so sorry."

"Well, it wasn't all your fault," Mary conceded when she saw the regret on his face. "After all, she is the one who wanted to go, and Sybil can be quite insistent when she sets her mind to something."

"I'll be she can be," Matthew said with a smile born of relief that Mary forgave him so easily.

"Careful you don't forget which Crawley girl you are married to," Mary warned.

Matthew was shocked by her words and her stern look. He did not understand why she would mock him so when she clearly knew he was in love with her. "Don't play with me. I don't deserve it. Not from you."

"I'm not playing," she said seriously and he realized with a start that she was serious. He laughed briefly at the ridiculousness of her warning and her jealousy but was cut short by the angry look that crossed her face. Realizing his mistake, he took her hand and leaned a little closer to her. "I never would..I never could forget which Crawley girl I married," he said, as he lifted her hand to his lips. Looking into her eyes, he saw for the first time insecurity. "Mary, you will never have cause to be jealous. I will love you and only you until my last breath."

He wasn't sure who moved first, but all of the sudden they were kissing. Her hands were running through his hair as his caressed her neck. He couldn't say how long they stayed like that but after a while he tugged gently on her arm, urging her to move closer. She surprised him by moving into his lap and continuing to kiss him deeply.

"Oh my darling," he whispered against her skin as he kissed his way down her exposed neck. Hearing her murmur his name as she wiggled against him stirred his desire to new heights.

Mary loved the feeling of his lips against her skin and had the unbidden, wonton thought that she wished there was more exposed skin for his lips to travel to. She knew she should stop him, but she wanted him so very badly. She wanted one night, just a single night, where she knew he loved her, and he knew she loved him. They deserved that much, she was sure of it. Then if he was unable to forgive her, at least she would have the memory of one night when they both loved each other.

The words were hard for her, they seemed to stick in her throat, but she knew he deserved to know that he was loved. After several unsuccessful attempts to verbalize her feelings but only managed to get his name out, she took a deep breath to gather her courage before whispering the three words she knew he longed to hear.

"What did you say?" Matthew said, pulling his lips away from her skin, thinking there was no way she had said the fords he thought she did.

"I love you," she said simply and a little louder this time.

He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face any more than he could help kissing her again. "Tell me again," he said, pulling back from her lips ever so slightly.

Smiling at the boyish look on his face, she took his face in her hands as she spoke the words she knew he needed to hear. "I love you Matthew. I think I've loved you much longer than I knew."

"Oh my darling," he said pulling her closer and kissing her briefly. "You don't know how happy I am to hear that." Then he was kissing her again. After several moments, he daringly allowed his hands to wander to places on her body that previously he had only dreamed of touching. "Oh God Mary," he murmured as his lips traveled to his shoulders where his hands were trying to push her sleeves down her shoulder.

"Matthew, we can't..not here," she said, pulling his head up.

"Darling forgive me…I just…and you…well" he blushed sheepishly as his verbal skills seemingly deserted him.

"I just didn't want a repeat of this morning. Goodness, Carson could walk in," Mary reminded him.

"Heaven forbid," Matthew said with a laugh even as his blush deepened at the fact that he had gotten so carried away in the dining room where any servant could have walked in. "Mary please say I can…I mean do you want…may I come to you tonight?"

Mary blushed at what she knew he was trying to ask. "Give me a quarter hour and then come to our bedroom," she said, kissing him softly one more time before adjusting her dress and heading upstairs to allow Anna to ready her for bed. Mary knew she couldn't do everything Matthew wanted tonight for more than one reason, but she decided she would do what she could to make sure he knew how much she loved him, and she could only hope that he would remember that when she told him he secret. Mary asked Anna to leave her hair down and to dress her in her prettiest nightgown.

Matthew was nervous as he allowed Bates to dress him in his pajamas and robe. "Would you assist me in shaving as well?"

"Of course my lord," Bates replied, refraining from commenting on the fact that he had shaved Lord Grantham that very morning as was the usual routine. Matthew however simply wanted everything to be perfect for Mary, and did not want even a little stubble that might mar her delicate skin.

When he entered the bedroom they shared, he saw her sitting in bed anxiously awaiting his arrival. He removed his robe and climbed into bed beside her. "My God you are beautiful," he said as he caressed her cheek before leaning in to kiss her. For several minutes, he was content when deep, passionate kisses and soft, exploring caresses, but when he reached for the hem of her nightgown, she pulled her lips back from his.

"Darling, what's wrong?" he asked, confused because he had been so sure that she wanted this, wanted him.

"I'm so sorry but for tonight you can kiss me, but that is all."

"But why? You aren't afraid are you? Because if you are…"

"I am not afraid, not of you, never of you," she said as she brought a finger to her lips. "It's just that..well you see..my lady cycle..I'm sorry I really don't know how to discuss this with you."

Thankfully for Mary, Matthew, being a doctor's son, understood what she was trying to tell him.

"How long does it last?"

"Four or five more days."

"By then you will be in London for Sybil's season," he said regretfully. "I'm sorry, that was insensitive love."

She leaned in and kissed him again, their passion rising quickly again despite the limitations she had just vocalized. When he could take it no more, Matthew pulled away, leaning back against his pillow and hugging her close to his side. "God Mary, this must be the sweetest form of torture."

"Just because I can't…well it doesn't mean…perhaps there is something I could do?" she suggested shyly.

Matthew was shocked by her shy offer. "I would never ask that of you."

"You didn't ask. I offered," she correct as she met his eyes. "I don't know what to do, but if you show me..."

Looking into her eyes, he saw the love and desire there and leaned down to kiss her gently. "Only if you are sure my darling."

"I am sure," Mary replied, wanting with all her heart to give him one night where he knew how much she loved him. Seeing the truth in her eyes, he kissed her deeply as he took her hand in his to guide her.

TBC

Author's Note: As always, that you all for the kind feedback. I had decided from the beginning that Mary would not consummate the marriage without telling him, but I thought they needed one night where they both knew how the other felt before the secret came out. I promise the reveal will happen in the next chapter, but I hope you enjoyed this one. Please let me know what you think :)


	14. Chapter 14

More Than Duty Chapter 14

Mary twisted her hands nervously as the car drove toward Downton Abbey. The six weeks that she had been gone seemed achingly long without Matthew's presence, but somehow also much too short as she worried about what she knew she must do upon her return. Mary's thoughts were so focused on what she must do that she barely heard Edith as she chattered excitedly about her recent engagement to Sir Anthony.

As the car pulled into the long driveway, Mary glanced out the window and saw her husband waiting outside the main door. She knew from their letters and their few brief phone calls that he was anxiously awaiting her return. Mary had resolved to tell Matthew about Pamuk almost immediately upon her return for fear that otherwise she might lose her nerve.

When the car came to a stop, Matthew, in his excitement at being reunited with Mary, breached protocol and opened the car door himself rather than waiting for a servant to do so. He held out his hand and assisted Sybil and then Edith before Mary finally emerged. This breath caught in his throat when he saw her, and while Matthew could feel the ridiculously grin spread across his face, he didn't care. He had missed her dreadfully these past several weeks and did not care who knew how happy he was to see her.

There eyes met as she stepped out of the car and he lifted her hand to his lips. "Welcome home darling." The spark between them was palpable, and he had to resist the urge to kiss her full on the lips in view of everyone.

"Shall we go in and have tea, my dear?" Matthew suggested before he threw caution to the wind and carried her directly up to their bedroom.

"I was rather hoping we might take a stroll around the grounds," Mary suggested. She knew she needed privacy to tell Matthew, but not wanting to taint their bedroom in the future with the memory of her telling him something guaranteed to hurt him.

"Of course," Matthew agreed, enormously pleased that she wanted to be alone immediately, away from the watchful eyes all around Downton.

As they walked away from the house, Matthew made small talk about Sybil's season, Edith's engagement, and estate business, but Mary's answers were as brief as possible as she steeled herself for what was coming. When Matthew determined that they were far enough away from the house to not be observed, he pulled Mary behind a tree and kissed her sounded. Mary did not resist, wanting at least one more memory of his lips on hers.

"God, Mary you don't know how much I've missed you. I've been looking forward to that for weeks," he admitted before kissing her again. This time, his lips traveled from her lips, across her jaw, and behind her ear where she heard him whisper huskily "I've been looking forward to all sorts of things."

Pulling back, he looked into her face and saw something unexpected - regret. "Mary, what's wrong?"

Mary closed her eyes briefly, hoping against hope that kiss would not be there last as a result of what she was about to tell him. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and forced herself to begin telling him the story she knew was long overdue. "Matthew, I have to tell you something I very much fear will change everything."

"Mary there is nothing…" he began to protest until she covered his mouth with her hand.

"No, please don't say that, this could change everything, this could make you despise me. Please just listen because this is hard enough to say," she said pulling her hand back and taking a few steps away from him, needing the distance if she was to tell him.

Matthew was confused by her claim, but confident that there was nothing she could say that would change anything, let alone make him despise her. He could see from her face though that she was emotionally distraught and needed to unburden herself so he willed himself to be silent and listen.

"Do you remember a Turkish diplomat that visited Downton, Mr. Pamuk?" Mary asked.

"The gentleman who died in bed?" Matthew asked, his confusion growing at what the dead Turk could have to do with them now.

"He didn't die in his bed," she said, pausing before she continued. "He died in mine."

Upon hearing this, Matthew felt all the air leave his body. He simply could not believe the words she had spoken. "Were you…." he paused as he struggled to get the words out. "Were you intimate with him?" he finally managed to choke out.

Mary nodded, as she bit her bottom lip, trying in vain to keep the tears from falling.

"Did he force you?" Matthew finally asked. As horrible as the thought was, at least Mary would be blameless.

Mary shook her head as the tears began to fall.

"Oh God," he muttered, feeling sick to his stomach as her admission sunk in. His Mary had been with someone else. He could not understand how she had given herself to someone she had known for mere hours. He was sickened by the knowledge that someone else had touched her in the ways he only been dream of for weeks. He turned his back on her as he tried to get his breathing under control, fearing that he would lose the contents of his stomach.

"Oh Matthew, I am so, so sorry," Mary said, reach out to touch his shoulder but she was rebuffed as he shrugged her hand off. "I know that I'm Tess of the d'Urbervilles to your Angel Clair, but …"

"No Mary, you aren't Tess," Matthew said turning back to face her, his face filled with anger, shock, and sorrow. "Tess didn't try to deceive the man she said she loved. She at least tried to tell him before he married her. So no Mary, you are not Tess."

"I thought about telling you, more often then I can say, but.."

"But you didn't really try to tell me, did you? You played me for a fool, Mary. Even if I could forgive you for Pamuk, how can I forgive you for that? I can't be sure, of you or anything it seems."

"Matthew, please. You can't know how sorry I am, for Pamuk, for my silence, for everything," she pleaded, reaching out for him again.

"No, Mary, I can't… I can't look at you right now," he said, as all his dreams over the past several weeks faded away. A part of him wanted to forgive her and pull her into his arms, but he knew he would never be able to trust her again so he could not give in to that urge. "I have to go," he said simply.

"Go where?"

"Away. Anywhere but here," he said, knowing couldn't think clearly when she was around. Perhaps he would go back to Manchester, perhaps to London, he just needed time and space to try to work this out in his head, to see if there was a way to forgive her, and if there wasn't, what options did he have given that they were already married. "I wish you had told me before we married."

"Would you still have married me?"

"I couldn't say with complete certainty, but I think I would have," he said softly as he walked away from her without looking back for fear his will would break.

"So I've ruined everything," she whispered through her tears, never having been so sad about being right.

TBC

Author's Note: So it is time for the angst. I know some of you wanted it and some of you didn't, but I think a few chapters of angst are required after her confession. Remember, this is Matthew before the war and he has yet to learn to separate the things that matter from the things that don't. Also, he does not yet know the truth about her encounter with Pamuk and that although she says she was not forced, she really didn't have a choice either. Please know there will be a happy ending. I hope that despite the angst you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know - I love to hear your thoughts and it encourages me to keep writing.


	15. Chapter 15

More Than Duty Ch. 15

Matthew's eyes slowly opened and he took in his surroundings. With a groan, he closed his eyes again, not yet ready to face the day. He could scarcely believe that little more than six months ago, he would wake up in a soft bed with the weight of Mary's head on his chest with the smell of lavender from perfume teasing his nose. Now he woke on a hard and lonely cot, often to the sound of gun fire, smell only the stench of the trenches. His life at Downton was indeed a different world, but sometimes if felt that neither world - Downton or the trenches - could possibly be reality. Downton because the dream he had lived for several weeks was too sweet to be real and the trenches because it was so awful that he could not bear the idea that such a reality could exist.

He sometimes felt he had been living in a nightmare these past several months, one that he could not wake up from. The nightmare had begun the day Mary's confession caused his world to come tumbling down around him. He had fled from Downton to London to grieve for his lost dreams, but when the war started a few days later, he enlisted. He had hoped his hasty decision would give him the time and space he needed while fighting would keep his might far from Mary.

How little he knew of life in the trenches then. Certainly there were moments when they were under attack or were attacking when instinct took over and all other thoughts were banished from his mind, but he never thought of the hours of monotony that existed as well in the trenches. In these times, Mary was never far from his mind, not matter how much he wished her to be. The nights were even worse for she haunted his dreams. He could never decide which dreams were were more torturesome - those when they were happy and in love only to awake to remember that all that was lost or those when he saw her with her Turkish lover.

"Get up Crawley, our week pass starts today," Lieutenant Edward Phillips in excitement. "I dreamt of real food last night. Still haven't decided what I will order first when we get to Paris."

Matthew laughed at Ned who had become his closest friend in the trenches. Theirs was a friendship forged when Ned saved Matthew during their first charge by a well placed shot at a German only an arm's length away from thrusting his bayonet into Matthew. "You order what you will. I will be having roast beef and a proper glass of wine," Matthew said, climbing out of his cot.

"You sure you don't want to visit England? You have time to make it."

"Then who would keep you out of trouble in Paris?" Matthew retorted, hoping Jack would drop the subject of a visit to England.

"Won't your wife be put out that you aren't visiting her when you have the chance? Certainly she misses you," Ned said cautiously, knowing to tread careful with Matthew when the subject of his wife came up. Sometimes he looked wistful when she was mentioned, but other times he looked down right angry.

"Nothing is certain when it comes to Mary," Matthew informed him.

"But you are an earl without an heir. Aren't you eager to put a baby in her belly?"

"Ned, that is the last mention I want to hear of my wife during this leave."

"Oh very well. Besides, there will be plenty of lasses to talk of when we reach Paris, eh" Ned said with a grin. He had tried for months to puzzle out his friend's relationship with his wife, but Matthew gave very little away on that front. Thus far, he had gathered only that she was a distant cousin and a beauty. Oddly, Ned had never observed Matthew receiving a letter from his wife during mail call nor had he seen him writing one to her. Oh well, Ned thought, with a week pass, all Ned wanted to think of was food, wine, and women in Paris. Surely those three things were bound to raise his friend's spirits.

That evening, Matthew found his mood much improved after a dinner of roasted beef and red wine followed by chocolate torte. "Goodness, I never imagined I could miss dessert this much," Matthew said as he took the last bite.

"I know something I missed even more than dessert," Ned said with a grin. Matthew knew what Ned was going to say. "Women" Indeed, Ned had talked of little else for the past to weeks in anticipation of their leave.

"Well, I am sure we can find some officer's club that is holding a party. There are bound to be ladies there," Matthew said, willing to indulge his friend.

"That was not quite what I had in mind," Ned replied.

An hour later, Matthew was downing is third glass of scotch wondering how on Earth he had ended up here. Oh he remembered well enough despite the scotch and all the wine with dinner. Ned had confessed his fear of being killed in the war without ever having the opportunity to be with a woman and that he was going to use this leave to ensure that did not happen. Although Matthew shared Ned's fear, he remained silent lest he be confronted with more awkward questions about his marriage. After much cajoling by Ned, the two ended up here in a high priced brothel intended for officers and gentlemen. Normally an appointment was required, but Ned dropped Matthew's title and an exception had been didn't take ten minutes before Ned disappeared upstairs with a curvy blond clinging to him. A few of the girls had approached him, but Matthew had firmly stated that he was not interested in anything more than a drink while he waited for his friend.

Matthew looked up when a man took a seat on the barstool next to him and ordered a drink. The man was clearly English but did not wear a uniform. "What is an Englishman who is not in the army doing so close to the front?"

"Looking for a story," the man replied, taking a long drink.

"Reporter?"

"And owner,"

"So you are looking for a story In a brothel?" Matthew asked skeptically.

"You'd be surprised what stories an officer might reveal after he has had a few drinks and a woman."

"I suppose," Matthew said. "Lieutenant Matthew Crawley."

"Sir Richard Carlisle," the man replied, extending his hand. "I did not realize they granted entry to the rank of Lieutenant here. I was under the impression it was only for higher level officers."

"I think it was my other title that resulted in admittance - Earl of Grantham."

"Ah, and what is an earl doing as a mere Lieutenant who has the look of a solider from the front about him? Shouldn't you be leading a cozy life here in Paris while lesser men risk their lives?"

"I don't ask for or accept special treatment because of my rank," Matthew said, finishing his drink and ordering another.

"A self-made man. I can respect that," Richard replied, and Matthew could tell he was being honest in his admiration. "None of the ladies here to your taste?"

"I am married."

"So is nearly every man here."

Matthew just shrugged at that remark and took another drink. Soon Matthew felt a small hand on his shoulder and he knew another one of the girls was attempting to solicit him. He turned to let her know that he was not interested, but the words died on his lips. She was tall and thin with dark hair and darker eyes. In the low light, she resembled Mary enough for him reconsider his decision.

"Are you the one they say is an Earl?" the woman asked. Matthew admitted that he was. "I have never bedded an Earl. Come, you can be the first," she said with a seductive glance as she lightly tugged his sleeve.

"Ah but the good Earl is married," Richard interjected when Matthew remained silent.

"Ah but his wife must be far away in England while I am right here," she said, bringing Matthew's hand up to her waist. "Tell me, my lord Earl, how long has it been since you have had a woman?"

"Clearly too long," Richard said with a laugh at the lost look on Matthew's face. "Go on Crawley, your wife need never know. Besides, war has a way of blurring lines."

Matthew had to admit to himself that wanted to follow this woman who looked similar to his Mary up to her room and forget everything for the night, but he knew he shouldn't, doing so would violate his moral code. His head was spinning when she pulled firmly on his arm and he stood and followed her while his mind warred with his body.

The she led his too was small but garish and dominated by a bed which she reclined on, her eyes inviting him to join her. To her surprise, Matthew stood rooted in place. This one was shy, she realized, but she knew how to deal with the shy ones. She rose to her feet and walked seductively toward him. She brought her lips to his neck, and Matthew closed his eyes and tried to forget his surroundings, to forget that the woman pressing against him was not the one he wanted. His eyes flew open when he felt her hand rub purposefully against the front of his trousers. No, this was all wrong he realized, and he could no longer pretend that she was Mary. Her touch was too practiced, too knowing, her smell was more of lye than lavender, and all that she was doing was because she was paid to do so.

"I am sorry, but I can't," he said, pushing her away as gently as he could. He was angry with himself for considering this, angry with her for tempting him, and most of all angry with Mary who would he could not forget no matter how hard he tried.

"Of course you can. I know how to ensure that anyone can," she said, misunderstanding his words as she reached for his belt.

"No, you misunderstand me. I won't do this. I have a wife."

"So do each of the men I have seen tonight. I don't care, and she won't know," reaching for him again until he intercepted her hand.

"But I would," he said firmly.

"Your wife is a very lucky woman."

"I rather doubt she thinks so."

"You must love her very much."

"I wish I knew how to love her less," he said truthfully as he pulled his wallet from his pocket and offered them to her. Sometimes he thought he would be willing to barter all he had to carve Mary out of his heart, but he was beginning to discover that doing so was impossible. If he couldn't forget Mary, then he realized that he was going to have to try to learn how to forgive her.

"That is too much, and I didn't do anything," she protested. He simply shrugged and offered the money again and this time she accepted. "Funny that my best paying client wasn't even really a client at all."

"Well perhaps you can keep that information to yourself," he suggested, not wanting Ned and the other officers present to know that he had refused. She nodded in understanding and they remained in her room for some time before she led him back downstairs, kissed him full on the lips in view of all there, and pronounced that he was most welcome anytime.

TBC

Author's Note: I know there was no Mary in this chapter, but she will feature prominently in the next. Many of you have asked if I can update more often. I wanted to let you know that it is probably not possible for me to update any more often than I already do due to a very busy work schedule and other commitments, but I will try to post as often as I can.


	16. Chapter 16

More Than Duty Chapter 16

Mary glanced across the dinner table at the empty chair where Matthew should be sitting. Her mother and grandmother had encouraged her to have the chair removed so there was not a constant reminder that he was not with them, but Mary had refused and insisted that it remain. At first, Mary thought it was fitting punishment for her, but now it had evolved into something else - a reminder of the hole his absence created in her life and her heart that no matter how painful, she did not want to forget. So the chair remained nine months after Matthew had departed.

The first days after he left were the worst. She did not know where he had gone or when he would be back. About a week later she received a letter from him, the only letter she had received since he left. She had read the letter so many times, that she had it committed to memory.

_Mary,_

_ I feel compelled to inform you that I have enlisted in His Majesty's army and will leave soon for France. If anything should happen, please know that I alone am responsible for this decision. I understand that in risking my life, I am risking your future as well and for that I am sorry. I know you married me to ensure your future security, so I have met with Mr. Murray to do all I can on that front. He will be contacting you with details. I wish I could give you more, but please know that I did all I could. I have also let the estate agent and Mr. Murray know that you are in full control in my absence and that he is to run all issues and questions by you. In that, you have my full trust, for I know how much you love the estate. _

_ I have heard that time heals all wounds, but Mary, this wound you have inflicted is so deep that I cannot say when or if it will heal. So I ask you this, let me have the time I need. If you need to impart any information to me, please do so through my mother - she knows how to contact me. _

_ Matthew_

The letter had saddened her knowing that their separation would likely be lengthy, but it had also given her hope - hope that he might one day be able to forgive her. He had asked for time which meant given enough time, he might be able to forgive.

At first, she hadn't been particularly worried for his safety knowing that high ranking aristocrats such as earls were generally kept away from the front and the hardest fighting. But then Isobel had informed her that Matthew was in the trenches - that he had refused a safe post in Paris rather than accept a privilege that his rank accorded. She should not have been so surprised, but Isobel's claim had shocked her into silence. Once she accepted the truth of it, fear and guilt set in. That evening, Mary found herself on her knees praying fervently for his safe return, and every night since that had become her nightly ritual.

"Mary, are you coming?" her mother asked.

"What?"

"Everyone is going through. Are you okay?"

"Oh yes, I was just lost in thought," Mary replied, casting a final glance at the empty chair before rising to follow her mother.

"I wish you would let us remove that chair. It only makes you sad."

"I deserve to be sad, and the chair will remain."

"No one deserves to be as sad as you have been these past months. I can't remember the last time I saw you smile."

Mary gave her mother a half-hearted smile before walking from the room to join the others. To Mary's annoyance, Edith had taken to dining with them frequently despite the fact that she and Sir Anthony had wed quickly after the war began. With Sir Anthony at the front, Edith claimed she was lonely and disliked dining alone so more often than not, she joined the family at Downton for dinner. For some reason, Edith seem in an especially good mood tonight which only served to annoy Mary more. Mary was unsure what would have her so happy when she had been moping for the past two months since Anthony had to return to France after a week of leave. Irritated with Edith's effusive happiness, Mary excused herself for the evening and returned to her room.

When she arrived, she began her nightly ritual placing a photo of Matthew from their wedding day on the bed in front of her, sinking to her knees, and entreating God to protect him. Her prayer was interrupted by the sound of her door opening, and she jumped to her feet.

"Were you praying?" Edith asked in shock as she stepped into the room.

"What business is it of yours?" Mary retorted.

"What were you praying for?" Edith pressed.

"My husband is fighting in a war. What do you think I was praying for?"

"Oh I see, if he doesn't survive, you won't be Countess anymore, will you."

"You don't know anything. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I came to tell you something."

"Well then tell me and get out," Mary said.

"Oh come now Mary, be civil. I wanted you to be the first to know," Edith said with a smile that made Mary nervous. "I am expecting a baby," Edith announced with a triumphant smile as her hands touched her belly, pleased beyond measure that she had accomplished something that alluded her sister.

"Congratulations," Mary said without sincerity. She never imagined she would be jealous of Edith, but in that moment she was. At least Edith's husband sought her company while Matthew had gone to great lengths to avoid hers.

"Thank you. I hope you will soon be given such a blessing. I don't know how that is to be though since Matthew would rather take his leave in Paris than visit Downton."

"Get out," Mary ordered in a voice that startled Edith enough that she complied without making any further remarks. As soon as the door closed, Mary crumpled to the floor in tears, weeping for all she had lost.

\\\\\\\\

"All right men, mail call."

Matthew heard the call that was the highlight of the day for most men, but he had received a letter from his mother the day before so he did not expect to receive anything and hung to the back of the group as the names of recipients were called.

"Crawley"

Matthew's surprise at hearing his name turned to shock when he saw the name of the sender - Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham. What could Cousin Violet want with him? Surely if anything was wrong at Downton, that news would not be left to her to impart. Taking the letter back to his cot, he carefully opened the envelop and removed the letter.

_Matthew,_

_ No doubt you will regard my writing to you as rather unorthodox, but there are some things I feel you must know. I am well aware that things between you and Mary are not as they ought to be. I won't pretend to know all the details of what occurred between the two of you, but I must tell you what I have observed since you have been away. In the past ten months, I can count on one hand the times I have seen Mary smile, and I suspect even those were faked. She misses you dreadfully, but won't allow reminders of you to be removed. Your chair remains empty at the dinner table because she refuses to let it be taken away. If you are attempting to punish her for some sin she has committed, you may rest assured, she has punished herself more effectively than you could ever do._

_ When you first went away, I was inclined to agree with the decision because I am of the opinion that time and distance help heal wounds, but my dear you have stayed away long enough. I don't know what you feel, but Mary is still in love with you. I know you loved her once, and I would put a question to you - Are you certain you can't love her again? If you aren't certain, then I urge you, visit her or at least write to her as soon as you can lest you allow the flame that is still burning to go out. _

_ Violet_

Matthew read the letter a second time, allowing Violet's words to sink in. In the weeks since he had returned to the trenches after his leave, he had thought extensively about Mary. He had come to accept that he still loved her, loved her as much as he did right before she told him, but he was still angry and did not know how to trust her again. Even worse, he was not positive he could trust her words when she said that she loved him. But he had never known Violet to lie. He stood and paced as he tried to decide what to do. Well, he realized, there was really only one thing to do - he needed to see Mary, to talk to her, to judge for himself what was true and wasn't true, but he wasn't due another leave for at least two more months. Running his hand through his hair in frustration, he finally grabbed a pen and paper before he could think better of it.

_Mary,_

_ You are probably surprised to hear from me after so many months of silence. I am well aware that I am over due for a visit to Downton, and as my wounds I wrote you of has begun the long process of healing, I thought I to visit on my next leave - as long as that is amenable to you. _

_ There is much to discuss, but this is not something to be discussed by letter. Know this though, I do not despise you - I never could, not even when I was angriest. _

_ I pray you wish me well. God knows I wish the best for you._

_ Matthew_

Before he could second guess his decision, Matthew shoved the letter into an envelop and posted it.

\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary was sitting in the library going over the latest accounting report from Mr. Murray when Anna entered wearing a bright smile and bearing a tea tray.

"What has you so happy?" Mary asked as Anna set the tray down in front of you.

"I am just pleased to bring you something that I think will make you happy, my lady," Anna said.

"Well, tea is always welcome," Mary replied, not sure why Anna would think the tea would be so pleasing.

"Look on the tray my lady," Anna said, grinning when she saw Mary's face light up when she saw the envelop from her husband laying next to the teacup. "I will be sure you are not disturbed," Anna said, as she withdrew and pulled the door closed behind her.

Mary held the letter for a few moments as she worked up the nerve to open it. Deciding to face whatever it said, she ripped the envelope open. Relief washed over her when she read his words. He was coming back, but even better, his wounds were beginning to heal. Grabbing for a pen and paper, she began her reply.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"Mail call."

Matthew jumped up and rushed to the front of the group as he had been doing daily since he sent the letter to Mary. He knew it was silly, that had only been two week. Barely enough time for a letter to make it to Downton and a reply to make it back so unless she had written right away, he knew he was unlikely to hear his name.

"Johnson, Phillips, Lewis, Crawley, Gray.."

Matthew reached out eagerly when he heard his name, smiling when he saw her name and pushing through the group to find some privacy. As soon as he was away from the group, he ripped into the envelope.

_Matthew,_

_ I have longed for your presence since the day you left so you are most welcome anytime. _

_ All my best wishes and my love are yours,_

_ Mary_

TBC

Author's Note: I wanted to address a few things regarding the last chapter. Several of you were displeased by the appearance of Carlisle, but I felt I had to include him if I am to deal with the Vera Bates story line of Season 2. Please know Mary will not be temped by him at all. Secondly, I needed Matthew to have a flaw too, to know what it is to be tempted, to consider but then reject doing something he knew he shouldn't (similar to how Mary considered but ultimately rejected tricking Matthew with the blood). I hope this allays some of the worries that you have expressed, and I hope you liked this chapter. Let me know what you think.


	17. Chapter 17

More Than Duty Chapter 17

It was the late afternoon when Matthew stepped off the train in Ripon. It had been almost three months since he had first written to Mary, and although they had exchanged a few short letters since, he had only let her know that he would be coming home when he had his next leave - he had not told her when. The reason was simple, leave could be promised and then revoked, right up until the last minute, so he decided it was better to not mention any possible dates, saying only that he hoped he would be given leave soon. Carrying his small bag containing his mess kit, he began the familiar walk to Crawley House where he intended to stop before continuing on to Downton, hoping to be there in time for dinner.

"Mr. Crawley! I mean, my lord, we were not expecting you," Mosley exclaimed when he answered the door in response to Matthew's knock.

"At ease Mosley, I know you weren't," Matthew said with a smile. "Is my mother in."

"She is in the parlor. May I take your bag sir?"

"Yes, I'll be up to change shortly beforeI leave for Downton."

"Shall I call up to the big house to have them send the car?" Mosley asked.

"No, I think I'll walk," Matthew replied, knowing he would need the extra time to clear his head and calm his nerves.

"As you wish sir."

Matthew walked down the hall to the parlor. Leaning in the door frame, he smiled as he observed the familiar sight of his mother reading on the sofa.

"Mother," he said softly. Isobel's head shot up immediately and he heard her gasp his name. Within seconds, she had wrapped him in a tight embrace as he heard her whisper "my dear boy."

"Why didn't you tell me to expect you?" she said as she stepped back, the happiness at seeing her son evident on her face.

"I wasn't sure when exactly my leave would be, and I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up."

"Oh my boy, it is so good to see you. You must be starving. I will call for tea and goodness, I hope Mrs. Bird has made enough for dinner," Isobel fretted.

"No need worry mother, I only stopped to greet you and to change my clothing, then I am on to Downton for dinner. You are most welcome to join, I am sure."

"I am not sure how welcome I would be."

"Why would you say that?"

"Mary and I have not been on the best of terms since you left," Isobel confessed.

"Why not? What happened?"

"What do you think happened? She obviously did something that chased you off, that made my only boy join the army, she.."

"Don't speak against her," Matthew said, cutting her off.

"But Matthew, she…"

"No, you don't know what happened, and the decision to join was mine, not hers. Don't blame her for that."

"But if she hadn't angered you so, then…"

"Then nothing. I would have been called up eventually, I may have even signed up myself."

"Why do you defend her?"

"Because she is my wife. She deserves my loyalty"

"And what loyalty has she shown you? Edith has told me she never writes to you, probably rarely thinks of you, and obviously drove you off. Sometimes I think the only love Mary knows is love of herself."

"This conversation is over. I am going to change for dinner," Matthew said, leaving the room in frustration, angry that his leave was starting out on a sour note. Acrimony between his mother and Mary was not something he wanted, but he supposed he shouldn't be all that surprised that his mother would blame Mary for the fact that he enlisted. He allowed Mosley to dress him in his formal mess kit before returning downstairs.

"Mother, I do not want us to be at odds during my leave. I am sorry that I was harsh, but please do not speak against Mary. I believe our separation may have been as hard on her as it has been on me."

"Very well. I will not speak against her, but neither will my opinion change."

"Thank you," Matthew said, hoping that in time his mother might come around. "Will you come to dinner?"

"I think not. I know you will want to speak with Mary privately so I will leave you to it. But I will come around tomorrow."

"Alright. Goodnight then mother," Matthew said, kissing her cheek.

"Good night my boy. And I am so very pleased to have you home."

As Matthew walked toward Downton, his nerves began to set in. Although Mary had written that she desired his presence, he was not entirely sure how he would be welcomed when he arrived. He wasn't even sure how he wanted to be. A part of him wanted her to jump into his arms, but another part of him feared that if she did, he would lose his determination to resolve all the issues facing them and let himself lose himself in her arms. But if she welcomed him coolly and dispassionately, could he trust the assurances of her love that she had written to him of?

As he walked up the driveway, he glanced at his watch and realized that dinner was almost certainly underway. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. A few moments later the door was opened by William who looked shocked to see Lord Grantham standing before him.

"My lord, we were not expecting you," William explained, taking the bag from Matthew. "The family is at dinner. Shall I tell them you have arrived?"

"No, I think I will surprise them," Matthew replied sharing a conspiratorial grin with William.

"I heard you might have a chair for me," Matthew said as he walked into the dinning room. The shock was evident on all the occupants of the room. Matthew thought that even the tray Carson was holding teetered a bit, before he recovered from his surprise. It only took seconds before everyone was on their feet greeting him, everyone but Mary who appeared frozen with shock, her eyes not leaving his as she whispered "oh thank God."

He greeted Cora, Sybil, Violet and Edith who had gathered around him before walking to Mary who's eyes had not left him since he entered. She stood slowly, steadying herself by placing a hand on the table.

"Mary," he breathed when stood before her, lifting her hand to his mouth. Good lord, she was beautiful, even his memory had not done her justice he realized.

"Welcome home Matthew," she said softly.

"Am I welcome?" he whispered, too softly for anyone but her to hear.

"More than you know," she whispered back, squeezing his hand. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, to kiss with all the pent up passion she felt, to tell him how very sorry she was for everything, but she couldn't do that in front of the family and she didn't truly know if he would want her to even if the family were not here. Looking at the emotion clear on her face, Matthew no longer doubted that she was pleased to see him, nervous, but pleased. "Matthew, I …" she whispered.

He shook his head soft and leaned in to kiss her cheek whispering "later darling," as he squeezed her hand in response, realizing that she was every bit as nervous to see him as he was to see her.

Reluctantly, he dropped her hand and sat in the chair that had been sitting empty, pleased that it was directly across from Mary so he could observe her through dinner. "Well, I am famished," he declared as William hurried to bring him a place setting.

Mary couldn't help but notice that he looked much leaner than he had last time she saw him. She also noticed that he helped himself to much large servings than was socially acceptable.

"You do know there will be another course, don't you?" Violet asked when she saw the massive quantity of roasted chicken he served himself.

He blushed a little at Violet's comment and noticed just how much he had on his plate. But before he could apologize for his breach of etiquette, Mary jumped to his defense. "Granny, he's been at the front where lord knows what they feed them. Surely he is entitled to a little extra chicken."

Matthew smiled at her in thanks before turning his attention to other occupants of the table to inquire how they had been doing since he was away. Mary desperately wanted dinner to be over so she and Matthew could be alone, but at the same time she feared the conversation she knew needed to be had. In her mind she went over all the things she wanted, no needed, to tell him, going over the list again and again in her head so she didn't forget anything.

"And how is Sir Anthony?" Mary heard Matthew ask Edith.

"He is doing well. He writes nearly everyday. Anxious to be home again though, especially in light of the fact that we are to have a baby soon," Edith replied, touching her rounded belly.

"Congratulations," Matthew said, raising his glass to her. Mary was annoyed. She knew she should be happy for her sister, but she couldn't bring herself to feel that way - not when their relationship was as acrimonious as ever.

When dinner had ended, Cora suggested that the ladies withdraw and Carson bring Matthew port and cigars.

"As nice as that sounds, I was rather hoping to steal Mary away," Matthew replied. Everyone agreed, saying understood and withdrew, leaving the couple alone with each other for the first time in over a year.

TBC

Author's Note: Yes, I know a mean place to leave it, but I really can't do anymore tonight. I will try very hard to get the next chapter up tomorrow because if I don't, it likely won't happen until early next week because of weekend commitments. Feedback always encourages me to work faster :)


	18. Chapter 18

More Than Duty Chapter 18

Mary was nervous as she walked in silence beside Matthew from the dinning room, up the stairs and toward their bedroom, but the feel of his hand at the small of her back helped settle her nerves a bit. Entering the bedroom first, she stood in the middle of the room as he closed the door behind them. It took him a moment longer than it should have to turn toward her, and she knew that he was equally nervous.

"Matthew, I am so sorry for everything," she said, taking a hesitant step toward him.

"I know you are," he said softly as he sat in the chair. "But Mary, it is not merely a matter of being sorry. You did more than break my heart that day, you lost my trust."

"You don't know how very sorry I am."

"Why did you do it? Why did you hide something like that from me for so long?" he asked, voicing the question that he had long wondered about.

"Because I didn't think you would understand. I thought about telling you so many times. I knew I should tell you. The night you proposed I even told mama that I had to tell you, but I let myself be talked out of it for fear that you would despise me, that it would ruin not only my prospects but my sisters' too, that I would disappoint my dying father," she said as her lower lip began to quiver as she tried to hold back tears.

"You still should have told me. I gave you every choice Mary, did everything I could to give you options, but you trapped me. You knew if you waited until after we married, there was little or nothing I could do," Matthew said.

"I'm sorry, I know how wrong it was."

"So why tell me at all?" he asked. "Why not pretend?"

"I thought about it, pretending. Mama urged me to. Please don't be angry with her. She was only trying to protect me, as any mother would. On our wedding day, she gave a vial of blood to…well you know, but I couldn't. You were so very kind to me and when you fell asleep that night, I knew I could never do that to you, that you were too good, that you deserved so much better. I got up and threw it away after I was sure you were sleeping."

"But it took you weeks after that to tell me."

"I wanted to tell you. But the more I came to like you the harder it became. Then one day, I realized that I loved you, and I knew I had to tell you, even if it cost me your love, which it did."

"Oh Mary," he whispered, reaching out for her hand and pulling her onto his lap. "I loved you still, even when I angriest, even when I didn't want to love you. It just took me a while to realize it."

"You still love me?" she asked as her eyes searched his.

"Yes, I still love you, but trust will take a little longer. You mustn't lie to me again, or keep anything from me, even if you think it will anger me."

"I won't and I will earn your trust again," she said, daring to finally lean in and kiss him. She kept the kiss soft and chaste, letting him set the pace if he wanted something more. He pulled back, stroking her cheek softly, and brushing a loose wisp of hair from her face.

"My love, before we go any further, I have to ask…" Matthew began.

"You want to know about Pamuk," she finished.

"I don't want to know, but I need to. Nothing could be worse than my imagination. I have been haunted by dreams - nightmares really - of it."

"I was so very foolish. It was my fault. I flirted shamelessly with him."

"I remember. You succeeded in making me very jealous," he confessed, remembering how she had shunned him for the Turk.

"I was a fool. Anyway, he beckoned me away from you, into the hallway, and I went. He grabbed me by the face and suddenly I was being pushed up against the wall as he kissed me. He…he asked if he could come to me that night."

"Why would you agree to that?"

"I didn't. I said I didn't know what I had done to give that impression, but he was very determined. When he tried to kiss me again, I pushed him away. I warned him that if I told papa, he would be thrown out, but I didn't tell. You don't know how often I have wished that I had."

"Then how did he come to be in your bedroom that night?" Matthew asked in confusion.

"I don't know. I have no idea how he knew which room was mine. I was reading in bed and the door opened. I cannot tell you how shocked I was to see him standing there."

"Why did you not send him away?"

"I tried. I asked him to leave, threatened to scream, threatened to ring the bell, but he said I would be ruined. If I did as I threatened, I would be ruined, but if I let him have his way, then perhaps I would never be found out. So I let him."

Matthew's fists had clenched during her story in futile anger at a dead man. "Good God, Mary you didn't take a lover, you were coerced, and if he weren't dead, I would kill him myself."

"But I started it all by flirting so brazenly with him."

"You flirted with me on occasion and I would never have come uninvited to your room and threatened you. No gentleman would. This was not your fault."

"So you forgive me?"

"No," he replied shaking his head. "I cannot forgive you for something for which you are not to blame." At that she sobbed with relief as he pulled her tightly against his chest.

"When you left, I didn't think you would ever forgive me," she admitted.

"In truth, I didn't know if I could forgive you either. I was so angry and hurt. But Mary, since then, I have seen boys die before they really had a chance to live. I've learned to separate the things that matter from the things that don't. This incident with the Turk, it doesn't matter - not to me. But, you Mary, you matter a great deal, a very great deal," he said before gently puling her face to his as his lips sought hers. Her mouth opened eagerly under his as his hands made their way down her sides. Her hands found their way into his hair as she sought to pull him closer. Their kisses moved quickly from soft and tender, to urgent and demanding. Soon she found herself trying to push his red coat from his shoulders and work open the buttons on his shirt.

"Mary, please, please tell me you are sure," he said, pulling his lips away from her.

"I have never been more sure of anything."

He smiled wide and startled her by swiftly standing up with her in his arms. She laughed and locked her arms behind his neck as he walked them to the bed as she planted teasing kisses against his neck. He set her gently on her feet near the bed, kissed her lips one more time, and then whispered "turn around my darling." She shivered at his words and quickly complied. She felt his lips against the side of her neck felt his hands toy with the top of zipper of her gown.

"Please," he heard her whimper and he smiled against her neck as he moved his hands from the top of her dress into her hair where he began pulling pins out.

"Patience darling," he teased.

"I think we have been more than patient," she said, lifting an eyebrow as she craned her neck around to look at him. He laughed and couldn't help but lean in and kiss her lips as his hands continued their work.

"I think my patience may have qualified me for sainthood," he said as he hair came tumbling down.

"I don't want a saint. I just want you," she told him, emphasizing her words with another lingering kiss. Deciding to stop teasing her, he moved his hand back to her zipper and slowly worked it down. She stepped out of the gown and turned in his arms to face him. He felt his breath leave him for a moment as he looked upon her. "You are too beautiful for words Mary," he said as he lifted her and gently set her on the bed. She recline on her back, opening her arms in invitation. He quickly divested himself of his shirt and move onto the bed and into her arms.

"Oh God Mary, you don't know how often I've dreamed of this," he told her as he caressed her. She arched into his touch, wanting more but not sure what. He seemed to understand without being told, knowing what she wanted even before she did. That caused an unwanted thought to enter her head - he must have done this before. But he wasn't this bold before he left. Then the terrible thought pushed its way into her mind that it must have been in France. She tried to push the thought away and focus only on the pleasure of his hands and lips, but the thought stubbornly remained.

"Matthew, have you…did you…oh never mind."

"What?" he asked, pulling his head back to look at her.

"Nothing. Just a question better left unspoken," Mary said, reaching up to pull his head back down to hers.

"If you want to ask me something, then ask," he said, clasping her hand in his rather than allow her to distract him.

"Really, it is better.."

"Mary, honesty goes both ways. No secrets between us. Ask me."

She bit her lower lip for a moment before asking her question. "When we were apart, were you with…was there anyone else?"

He sat up and Mary followed with a feeling of dread as she awaited his answer. "You see, I shouldn't have asked. If there was, it was probably my fault - you wouldn't have done that if you weren't so hurt and angry."

"No Mary, there was no one else," he said pausing for a moment. "but there almost was."

"Almost?"

"Yes, almost."

"What stopped you?"

"I could no longer pretend she was you," Matthew said. Mary smiled in relief and climbed into his lap, her legs wrapping around his waist. As she began kissing him, he lowered her to her back with her limbs still wrapped tightly around him. "You my darling will be my first, my last, and my only lover."

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I thought Matthew should be honest about his near lapse, but not detailed. Next up, the rest of Matthew's leave. Note on the timeline we are in the fall of 1915 which is one year before episode one of season 2. I am not sure if Matthew will have another leave between now and the leave from episode one of season 2 so I am open to suggestions. As always, thank you for your feedback!


	19. Chapter 19

More Than Duty Chapter 19

The soft sound of the door opening awakened Matthew. He immediately drew the covers which had been resting at waist level up to preserve both his and Mary's modesty.

"Good morning my lord," Anna replied, politely averting her eyes from the bed as she set the tray down and began drawing the curtains. Mary stirred against Matthew's chest when the light rushed into the morning room.

"Good morning my lady."

"Good morning Anna," Mary replied, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth at the sight of her disheveled husband as Anna drew the rest of the curtains.

"Will that be all my lady?"

"Yes thank you. I will ring when I am ready to dress."

"Of course my lady," Anna replied, thinking that it might be quite some time before Mary rang.

"Good morning my darling," Matthew said, smiling as he looked down at Mary.

"Mmm, good morning," Mary said, stretching. "What?" she asked, noting that his face seemed slightly red.

"It seems very odd to be found in your bed," Matthew said with a smile as he caressed Mary's arm.

"Anna has seen you here before," Mary reminded him as she propped her head up on her chin against his chest.

"But never en deshabille with last evening's clothing strewn about the room," Matthew pointed out, letting his hands roam to her bare back.

"Well, she shall have to get used to it," Mary replied with a grin.

"And why is that?" he teased as his fingers trailed lightly up and down her sides.

"Because I intend to get used to it," Mary informed him, stretching her neck up to meet his lips. Matthew returned the kiss for a moment before pulling back.

"You mustn't get too used to it Mary. I am only here for five more days," he reminded her.

"Let's not talk of that now," Mary said, not wanting to face that yet, kissing him again to prevent him from speaking of his impending departure any further. Matthew, who didn't want to speak of leaving any more than she did, gave in to her demanding lips. Soon, he was rolling Mary onto her back and hovering over her as he placed soft kisses down her neck and chest.

"Again?" Mary asked.

"Only if you want to," Matthew replied, wondering if she was too sore or tired after they had made love several times the previous evening.

"I want to," she assured him, arching her body into his to make her point. Staring down at Mary willing and even eager beneath him, he could barely believe it was real. "Do I need to convince you?" she asked when he hadn't moved. Darlingly, she pushed on his shoulder and rolled him onto his back. Settling herself atop him, she leaned down to kiss him again, wondering how he would react to her boldness in trying something new. "Is this okay?" she asked, her fingers brushing the hair from his forehead.

"Oh God yes," he assured her, his eyes shinning as his hands came to her waist to guide her.

Much later, a soft knock at the door woke Matthew who detangled himself from the still sleeping Mary, slipped his dressing gown on, and padded to the door. Opening the door, he found an apologetic Anna on the other side.

"I am so sorry my lord, but both the dowager and Mrs. Crawley have arrived and are waiting for you and her ladyship. I tried to tell them you were indisposed, but Mrs. Crawley insisted that you had invited her."

"Thank you Anna. Please let my mother know I will be right down," he said before closing the door and walking back to the bed where Mary was stirring.

"What was that about?" Mary asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"My mother is here and cousin Violet. I will dress quickly and hold them off," he said dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"Oh God," Mary said in embarrassment, as she sat up, tugging the sheets with her to keep herself covered.

"What do you think you have left to hide from me?" Matthew asked with a laugh as she wrapped the sheet tightly around herself. "Need I remind you of the lovely view I had not long ago," he teased.

"Why did you let us fall back asleep?" Mary replied, ignoring the bait as she pulled the chord to summon Anna.

"I don't think there was much choice in the matter. You wore me out darling. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. And even if there were, we are the Earl and Countess so who is going to question us?"

"Granny will."

"Well perhaps cousin Violet will," he conceded. "I can be ready in a matter of minutes - I am well versed at getting into the uniform quickly. So I will take the worst of it before you come down," he offered, kissing her cheek before retreating to his dressing room.

As few minutes later, Matthew walked into the drawing room where his mother and Violet were sipping tea with Sybil.

"Mother, Cousin Violet, I apologize for keeping you waiting," he said as he greeted each of them.

"Where is Mary?" Violet asked.

"She will be down shortly," he replied, deflecting the question.

"It is past noon. How is it possible you were not prepared to receive visitors after noon?" Violet asked.

Matthew coughed but recovered enough to answer. "Cousin Violet, I am afraid it was my fault."

"I am sure it was was," Violet said, suppressing a smile and forcing a stern look.

"After a year at the front, I am afraid I was unable to pull myself away from the luxury of a comfortable bed and simply forgot the time."

"Oh my dear boy, how has the front been? Is there anything you need, that we could get to make you more comfortable?" his mother asked. Matthew was grateful for the change in subject and gave a sanitized version of life at the front, adding that additional socks would not be amiss as he never seemed to have clean, dry ones.

It was about a half hour later when Mary joined them, looking every inch the proper lady. He watched as she and his mother greeted each other coolly but politely. He hoped that relationship would improve but knew it would take time as his mother clearly held a grudge against Mary. Matthew could not surpress a smile when Mary joined him on the sofa, sitting slightly closer to him than was proper. He smiled at the knowledge that she craved the closeness as much as he did.

"I have been thinking of training as a nurse," Sybil said, looking at Matthew to gauge his reaction, wondering if he might exercise his authority as head of the family to forbid it.

"That is wonderful!" Isobel exclaimed. "There is an excellent training hospital in York. I would be happy to call and recommend you."

"Sybil dear, are you sure it is safe?" Mary asked.

"I am not proposing nursing at the front - just here at the local hospital," Sybil countered.

"Well then, I see no danger in that," Matthew agreed.

"Oh thank you. I have felt so useless and just need to do something. This is the only way I can help, and I think I could be good at it," Sybil said with a smile.

"Bravo Sybil," Isobel said. "And what of you Mary? Are you content to simply remain at home?"

"Oh I don't think I am cut out for nursing. I do charity work though to raise money for the hospital," Mary replied.

"How much time can your charity work consume? A few hours a month at most? For fulfilling can that be?"

"Mother, that is enough," Matthew warned.

"I am only saying that with no children at home to care for, I would feel devoid of purpose, especially when there is so much to be done on the war effort," Isobel replied.

"That is how you feel. Mary does not need to feel the same. Don't force your opinions on her," Matthew admonished his mother.

Before Isobel could reply, Carson entered and announced "Lady Strallan." Matthew heard Mary make a small groan as Edith walked in and he suspected the animosity between the two women had only increased during his absence.

"Edith dear, how are you feeling?" Violet asked.

"I've felt better. This baby seems determined to keep me up all night," Edith replied, her swollen stomach jutting out at she rubbed her sore back.

"Well you only have a few more weeks. Surely a little lost sleep will be worth it," Sybil pointed out.

"Of course. I've written to Sir Anthony telling him I am certain it is a boy for no girl would be such trouble," Edith said with a smile. "Of course he would be thrilled to have a son, but has assured me that a daughter would be most welcome as well since the estate is not bound by an entail. I can't imagine the pressure you must feel Mary."

Mary fixed her sister with an angry glare. "You concern is heartwarming," Mary replied, her voice dripping with the same insincerity Edith had employed.

"There is no pressure on Mary. We have barely been married a year and I have been gone for most of it," Matthew said, taking Mary's hand in a show of support.

"Oh of course not, I only worry what if something should happen to you."

"You mustn't worry yourself over such things Edith. Worry isn't good for someone in your condition," Mary said, with a look that silenced her sister.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

That evening, Mary and Matthew had retired as early after dinner as was socially acceptable, letting Anna and Bates know that there assistance would not be needed. As soon as the door closed behind them, Matthew had her pressed up against the door, his lips hungry against hers as he sought to free her from her clothes.

Laying in his arms afterward, her hands danced softly over his chest as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"Matthew, can I ask you something."

"Anything my darling," he replied.

"Would you consider a transfer to a safer post, perhaps a desk job at headquarters in Paris or better yet at the War Ministry in London?"

"Mary," he sighed. "Is this about what Edith said?"

"Partially, but I also don't want to risk losing you, not when I have really just found you."

"I understand that, but Mary, you must understand why I can't do what you ask. How could I send boys to die while I sat safely behind a desk? How could I look myself in the mirror if I did that?"

"But you have a wife that loves you, who wants you to be safe and come home to her, who will live in fear every day that you are in harm's way."

"So do they. All the boys in the trenches have wives, sweethearts, mothers, or children that love them. How can I ask them to risk their life if I am unwilling to risk mine? There is no honor in that," he explained as he gently stroked her cheek.

"But Matthew, if you…" Mary halted, unable to bring herself to continue as she felt a tear slip down her cheek.

"God willing I will make it through this war in one piece. Knowing you are here waiting for me is the best incentive I could have. I won't try to be a hero, but please don't ask me to be a coward," he said as he brushed her tear away.

"Oh Matthew," Mary whispered. "I love your honor and hate it at the same time."

"And as for the other thing Edith said, with any luck, you will never have to worry about finding the next heir - we can make him ourselves - perhaps we already have," Matthew said, tilting her chin up to kiss her again.

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next up, it is time for Matthew to head back to the front. Edith will be having her baby in the next chapter or two. And will Mary and Matthew have made their prince already? Let me know what you think.


	20. Chapter 20

More Than Duty Chapter 20

"Darling, it is very early. You truly don't need to go to the station with me," Matthew told Mary again as she yawned and attempted to rub the sleep from her eyes.

"I know I don't need to, but I want to," Mary told him.

"It is only five o'clock. The servants aren't even up, and I hate to rob you of your sleep."

"Well you aren't. I made the decision not you, and I can dress myself" she said walking across the room to meet him, kissing him softly. "In a few hours, you will be gone and I won't see you for months. I will not be robbed of my last moments with you before you leave."

"Oh my darling," Matthew said, pulling her toward him and kissing her again.

"Now go dress before you tempt be to keep you here and never let you leave," Mary said as she pulled away and gently pushed him toward his dressing room. As she dressed herself, Mary reminded herself of her determination to be strong for him. She hated this, hated that he had to leave and would soon be back on the battlefield. She knew though he hated it just as much and her tears would only make it worse for him so she would be strong for him.

When they arrived at the train station in Ripon, Matthew and Mary headed to the ticket counter.

"One ticket to London please," Matthew said pulling his wallet out.

"Two tickets to London," Mary said impulsively.

"What?"

"Two tickets to London," Mary repeated, now confident of her decision.

Matthew raised an eyebrow as he handed the money for two tickets to the teller. Pocketing the tickets, he steered Mary toward the train. "So you are going to London?"

"I should have thought of it before really."

"Mary, you don't need to do this for me."

"I am not doing it for you - at least not just for you. I am not ready to say goodbye yet. This way, I get a few more hours with you, and it has been a while since I visited Aunt Rosamund. Besides, Mama is in London visiting her so I can see them both. And perhaps I can find something in town to distract me a bit from your departure."

"I'm not ready to say goodbye yet either," he replied, wanting to take her into his arms but knowing that was not something he could do in the middle of the train platform. Settling for taking her hand, he led them both onto the train.

The ride to London passed too quickly for their liking, and all too soon they found themselves standing on the platform awaiting his next train.

"Will you do something for me?" Matthew asked.

"Anything," Mary replied without hesitation.

"Try to make up with my mother, make the first overture. I know she has unfairly blamed you for my decision to join the army, but she is important to me, and I want the two most important women in my life to get along."

"I will try," Mary assured him, knowing that in all fairness, she was at least partial to blame for his hasty decision.

As he lifted her hand to his lips in thanks, he heard his name being called. As he looked around, he saw a slightly familiar looking man in a suit say "Ah Lieutenant Crawley, I thought it was you." Matthew extended his hand to the gentleman as he racked his brain trying to remember how they were acquainted.

"May I present my wife, Lady Mary Crawley," Matthew said, hoping the gentleman would identify himself as Matthew as at a loss as to where they had met.

"Sir Richard Carlisle," the man replied as he took Mary's offered hand and brought it to his lips.

"And how are you acquainted with my husband," Mary said, noting the quizzical look that had passed over Matthew's face when the man had called out his name.

"The lieutenant and I met briefly and shared a drink in Paris several months ago," Carlisle replied and in a moment of horror the memory came rushing back to Matthew. Surely the man would not be so ill mannered as to elaborate to Mary the details of their last meeting. "He mentioned he had a wife, but failed to do you justice."

"Sir Richard, most men do not sing their wives praises in the company of other men lest they incite jealousy or worse, be held in contempt for being overly besotted with their own wife," Mary said smoothly, noting that for some reason her husband looked supremely uncomfortable. "Now if you will excuse of sir, my husband is about to leave for the front, and I shall not see him for many months. I trust you will understand a wife's desire to have her husband's exclusive attention in these last moments."

"Of course my lady, and I have a train to catch anyway. It has been a pleasure making your acquaintance. Best of luck to you Lieutenant Crawley. Perhaps we shall meet in Paris again," Richard said with a grin before walking away.

"Matthew, is everything okay?"

"I do not particularly like Sir Richard," Matthew replied.

Mary did not want to mar their last moments together before he had to leave so she changed the subject. "I have something for you," Mary said as she reached into her handbag and pulled out a small stuffed dog. "It is my lucky charm. I've had it always. So you must promise to bring it back without a scratch."

"Won't you need it?"

"Not as much as you. So, look after it please. And look after yourself Matthew. I don't know what I would do if you don't come back."

"If I don't come back…"

"Please don't say…" Mary began until he brought a finger to her lips.

"Let me say this my love. I will do everything I can to come back to you Mary, but if I don't come back, you must remember have very glad I am that we made up when we had the chance. You gave me memories that will help me make it through the darkest days at the front, and you send me off to war a very happy man my darling," he said, tilting her chin up to brush his lips against hers.

"Oh Matthew, I know I don't say it nearly enough, but I do love you so very much," Mary replied, shoving all notions of propriety aside and kissing him deeply.

"And I love you so terribly much," he replied before kissing her again. "Write to darling."

"I shall write you so often you will surely be sick of it," Mary said, forcing a smile.

"You could write me everyday, and I will still never tire of hearing from you," he assured her as he heard the last call for his train.

"Good bye Matthew and such good luck."

"Good bye my love, and God bless you," he said leaning in for one last lingering kiss before pulling away and boarding the train. She waited on the platform until the train had moved out of sight, silently praying that this would not be the last time she would see him.

Matthew had stared out the window at Mary as the train until she was no longer visible, praying that God would be kind enough to bring him back to her in one piece. When he arrived back in France, the went immediately to his quarters and placed the little stuffed dog and a picture he had brought of Mary on the shelf near his bed so they would be the first thing he saw upon waking and the last thing he saw before he went to sleep. As he was adjusting the picture, his friend Ned came bounding into the room with an exuberant smile.

"Crawley! Glad to have you back," he said, hitting Matthew on the back.

"I wish I could say I am glad to be back, but I am glad to see you doing well," Matthew said to his friend.

"Is this the wife?" Ned asked, picking up the picture Matthew had so carefully placed.

"Who else would it be?"

"You didn't lie - she is a beauty," Ned said with a grin.

"She is indeed."

Ned sensed that something had changed between his friend and his wife, for Matthew no longer looked conflicted when he spoke of her and Ned decided to push his luck a bit. "Think you might tell me a bit about her now or is all that still classified?"

Matthew had to laugh before sitting down and telling Ned about his Mary. When Matthew finally satisfied Ned's curiosity, he sat down to write to Mary.

_September 28, 1915_

_My darling Mary,_

_I have only just arrived back in France, and I miss you already. I can scarcely believe that this morning I awakened in your arms and now I lay down to sleep on a lonely cot. Thankfully, I shall have dreams of you to keep me company. I am consoling myself with the hope that back in England you are dreaming of me as well. _

_All my love,_

_Matthew_

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. This is not the last we have seen of Carlisle but again I want to repeat that he will not split Matthew and Mary. Next up, the letters of Matthew and Mary, Edith has her baby and how Mary responds to that, and Mary starts to wonder if she might be pregnant as well. Let me know what you think!


	21. Chapter 21

More Than Duty Chapter 21

_October 6, 1915_

_Dearest Matthew,_

_I was so pleased to receive a letter from you already. You may indeed rest assured that I am dreaming of you my darling and wishing you were laying beside me. I suspect that will be the case every night until you return. _

_I stayed with Aunt Rosamund in London for a few days before returning to Downton and did a little shopping in an attempt to raise my spirits that I must admitted plummeted when I realized just how long it will be until I see you again. I must confess I made a purchase you may find rather silly and which I am certain Granny will think is merely another ridiculous modern contraption. You see I bought a gramophone. I thought having some music in the house would be a nice distraction, but I also must admit that I look forward to dancing to it with you when next you return. Did I ever tell you how much I liked dancing with you at our wedding? _

_Stay safe my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_October 19, 1915_

_My darling Mary,_

_I must tell you there is nothing here that has the ability to raise my spirits like a letter from you. Every time there is a mail call, I wait in hope that I will hear my name and see your lovely script._

_I don't think your purchase silly at all. In fact, you have given me something to look forward to when I return for I very much enjoyed dancing with you that evening - much more than I should have given the circumstances. By then, I had fallen in love with you and was hoping for any excuse to hold you close and dancing was the perfect opportunity. Do not worry what your Granny says about your purchase because your husband heartily approves._

_Keep your spirits up my love. I want you to be happy and if there is diversion that pleases you, please take advantage of it. Knowing you are happy will make this time apart more bearable for me._

_What other news my darling? How are you and everyone else? Have you seen my mother? She has written to me, but did not mention you._

_Your loving but lonely husband,_

_Matthew_

_/_

_October 29, 1915_

_My dearest,_

_You needn't worry anymore about having to find an excuse to hold me close for there is no where I would rather be than in your embrace. That does not mean I am not looking forward to dancing with you because I very much am, I just wanted you to know that you do not need the excuse._

_I must apologize that I have not seen your mother yet. I have been so oddly tired lately and am at a loss to explain it. Perhaps it is just that I am not sleeping as well when you are not with me. Or maybe it is that the days are colder and shorter. Do not worry though for I have not forgotten my promise though and will be sure to visit your mother this week._

_As for everyone else, Sybil has started her nursing training in York and mother has been staying with Edith as her time is nearly here so the house has been rather quiet. Edith has been completely insufferable. She vacillates between complaints about how uncomfortable she is and boasting about the fact that she is able to give Sir Anthony a child so soon into their marriage. She demands such attention that you would think she was the first woman to carry a child. _

_You must tell me how you are for I worry every day. _

_My love and prayers are with you,_

_Mary_

_/_

"The post has arrived my lady," Anna said as she walked into the sitting room to find Mary absent-mindedly staring out the window.

"Is there a letter from his lordship?" Mary said, fairly certain there was by the smile on Anna's face.

"There is my lady," Anna confirmed. "And I brought you some tea to settle your stomach as well."

"Thank you Anna. Has there been any word about Edith yet?"

"No my lady, not since this morning when we heard her time was upon her. If you have changed your mind about going, I can have Branson bring the car around," Anna offered as she handed Mary a cup of tea.

"No I think not. I would just cause her more stress by being there," Mary said, certain her presence during the birthing would not bring Edith any comfort. Although if Edith did manage to produce a boy, she would be most disappointed that Mary was not there to witness her triumph which Mary had no wish to see. "Thank you for bringing the post right away. And for the tea. I am sure it will be just the thing to settle my stomach."

As soon as Anna departed, Mary ripped into the envelope.

_November 10, 1915_

_My Darling Girl,_

_Mary, please sit down before you continue reading. Please don't be stubborn darling and just do as I have asked. Are you sitting yet? My love, I must tell you that I was injured yesterday, but you mustn't worry yourself. It was not serious, and I am in no danger. No doubt you wish to know more, so I shall tell you. I was on a reconnoissance mission when a couple Germans spotted us. Thankfully, they were not good shots for it took us a moment to take cover. A bullet grazed my side just below my ribs. It has been stitched up, but I fear there be a scar. Don't worry, the scar is not that big and no one but the doctor, my valet, and you need ever see it. I can only hope you do not find it too terrible ugly, but if you do, we can ensure that you need not see it._

_Darling, I have only just received your last letter. If you are tired, you truly must rest. My mother can wait for your health is paramount. If this continues, you must promise me to see Clarkson for I cannot rest easily unless I know you are well. _

_Please try to be kind to Edith. I know she can upset you, but remember darling, she has lived her whole life in your shadow. Surely you can allow her a bit of time in the sun. _

_Write to me Mary for your letters are a better balm than a medicine could ever be. _

_All my love,_

_Matthew_

Mary was glad she had heeded Matthew's request and sat down to read the letter. Thank the lord the Germans who had spotted him had been poor shots. How terrible it was to think that a few inches could have meant the difference between a minor wound such as Matthew sustained and a truly life-threatening one! She knew she had to trust his words when he said the wound was not serious, but she would have given almost anything to be able to confirm that fact with her own eyes. The army didn't give medical leaves for minor injuries though so she knew that was impossible. She immediately began her reply.

She was still composing her letter when Carson entered the room.

"What is it Carson?" she asked.

"News of your sister, my lady. She has safely delivered her child," Carson informed her.

"Was it a girl or a boy?" Mary asked.

"A boy my lady. She has called him Robert," Carson said after a moment of hesitation.

"Thank you for letting me know. Please let Mrs. Patmore know there is no need for dinner this evening. I am certain my mother and grandmother will be with Edith and with Sybil in York there is really no need for a formal meal."

"What about you my lady?"

"My stomach has been feeling a bit delicate all day. I don't think it could handle a rich or highly seasoned dinner. You may tell Mrs. Patmore that if I may ring for some soup or something light later, but there is no need for anything more than that.

"Of course," Carson replied before withdrawing from the room as Mary continued her letter.

/

"Mail call!"

At the sound of the familiar call, Matthew hurried out, jostling for a position at the front of the group while trying his best to avoid any contact against his right side which was still a bit sore.

"In a hurry there Crawley?" Ned said with a laugh, amused at how his friend who previous hung to the back of the mail call, was recently so eager to get to the front.

"Some of us have a lady back at home we are eager to hear from," Matthew replied with a grin, not at all ashamed at his eagerness. Before Ned could respond, Matthew's name was called and Ned simply slapped him on the back as he hurried off to read it in private.

_November 18, 1915_

_My darling Matthew,_

_It pains me to know end that you were injured hundreds of miles away. I wish more than anything that I could be by your side. Not only to assure myself of the truth of your words regarding the seriousness of your injury, but also to show you that no scar could be so fearsome that I would not want to look upon it or you. You are alive and well - that is all that matters. If I were there, I would happily kiss your scar in thanks that it is in a place that did not endanger your life. In fact, I think I shall do so when next I see you. Know that I pray for you and your safety every night, but tonight I shall be giving thanks that this injury was not a serious one. I know you do your best to stay safe, but I implore you to redouble your efforts for I would be devastated if I lost you. _

_I could go on and on about my care for your safety, but I know you would like a response to your inquiries so I shall endeavor to answer them and provide you what diversion I can. _

_I had your mother over for tea this past week. She confessed to being surprised at my invitation, but she willingly came. I wish I could tell you that all is well between her and I, but I fear she is still somewhat resentful and I believe also skeptical of my affections. I certainly bear some responsibility for her skepticism as I have never been one who can speak easily about my affections and emotions. It is easier when I am with you in private or in these letters to be more open, but even then it does not come easily. I am only able to accomplish it with you because of the love I have for you. As far as your mother goes, it will take time I think to make her believe my love for you is genuine. But as I am here alone, I seem to have nothing but time so I shall make the effort especially since I know how important it is to you. _

_You mustn't worry yourself about my health while you are the one truly in danger. It is true I have been tired lately, but I think perhaps the dreariness of the weather here has something to do with it. With so many injured soldiers at the hospital, this minor ailment is nothing to worry Dr. Clarkson with - nor is it something for you to worry about Matthew. _

_Please do not ask me to be nicer to Edith. I am not at all sure it is something I am capable of. I have only just heard as I was writing this letter that Edith delivered a son today. She had the audacity to name him Robert even though she must have known I would want that name for my son - our son - since it is my son not hers that will be Earl one day and should carry the name of my father, the previous earl. You see, Edith does these things to anger me. It has always been her way, and I am simply not very good a turning the other cheek. _

_You must tell me how you are doing? Are you in pain? Is there anything at all I can do to make your deployment more bearable? When do you think I might see you again?_

_With all my love,_

_Mary_

TBC: Hope you enjoyed this chapter and the letters in it. Next up, Mary figures out the reason she has been feeling tired and a bit nauseous. Just the flu or something more? And with Edith having a boy, will Mary begin to feel the pressure to produce an heir? Let me know what you think!


	22. Chapter 22

More Than Duty Chapter 22

The sun was just peaking through the curtains when Mary awakened with a groan. It was too early, but her stomach was not allowing her to remain asleep any longer. For the past couple weeks, her stomach had felt a bit off, almost like she was on a boat that was rocking back and forth. Until this morning, it had not been all that bad. This morning though, she felt certain that she was going to be sick as she hurried to the bathroom. It wasn't long before she emptied her stomach into the basin.

Afterward, as she splashed water on her face, she decided it was time to see Dr. Clarkson because this ailment seemed to be getting worse. Gingerly, she turned to return to her bedroom when a shelf caught her eye. On the shelf were the supplies that she needed when her cycle visited her each month. She stopped in her tracks, trying to remember when she last needed them. Startled, she reached her hand out to steady herself from the shock. She should have needed them about two weeks ago, but she didn't. Thinking back, she couldn't remember if she had needed them in October either, but she did not think she had.

In a daze, she walked back into her room and pulled the chord for Anna. As she waited, she climbed back into bed, wrapping herself up tightly in the blankets against the morning chill. Could it really be, she wondered as her hand came to rest on her stomach. Rationally, she knew that of course it could be but it just seemed so very quick.

"You are up early, my lady," Anna said with a smile as she entered the room. Setting the tray across Mary's lap, she began pulling the curtains.

"Anna, when was the last time you replenished my monthly supplies? October?" Mary asked.

"No my lady, it was September. Early September," Anna replied. So she had missed two cycles, Mary realized. "Would you like me to call Dr. Clarkson for an appointment?" Anna asked.

"You knew?"

"I suspected after you first missed your cycle in October."

"I didn't notice. I guess I have had too much weighing on my mind," Mary admitted. "Yes, please call down to Dr. Clarkson, but don't say why. And if anyone here inquires, you may tell them that I am seeing him to get something for my hay fever," Mary added, wanting to be sure that her suspicion was correct before raising anyone's hopes.

"Lady Grantham, what can I do for you?" Dr. Clarkson asked when she was usher into his office a few hours later.

"I think I may be pregnant."

"I see. When was your last cycle?"

"The early part of September," Mary replied.

"And, forgive me, but have you…"

"My husband was home in the latter part of September," Mary confirmed.

"Any nausea?"

"Yes, for the past two weeks or so."

"Have you been unusually tired? Or felt lightheaded?"

"No lightheadedness, but I have been unusually tired for over a month now."

After answering a few more questions, Dr. Clarkson confirmed to Mary that she was in fact pregnant and could expect the baby in mid to late June.

"Dr. Clarkson, could you please keep this between us? I want to tell Lord Grantham before anyone else is told and with him at the front, it will take a while for the news to reach him."

"Of course. You have my word."

"I've told people I came here today for my hay fever."

"No one shall receive any contradictory information from me. Congratulations Lady Grantham."

"Thank you Dr. Clarkson," Mary replied. As she walked out of the hospital, she saw Isobel walking toward the hospital and her, so she stopped and waved in greeting.

"Good Morning Isobel," Mary said, smiling as her mother-in-law approached.

"Good Morning Mary. What are you doing at the hospital? I hope you aren't ill," Isobel said.

"Not ill, not really. I have hay fever you see," Mary replied smoothly.

"I see. Well I trust Dr. Clarkson has given you something to alleviate it. Now if you'll excuse me," Isobel said as she turned to walk away.

As she watched Isobel walking away, Mary was keenly aware that she had not made much headway in improving the relationship with Matthew's mother. Remembering her promise to Matthew, Mary decided to try something.

"Isobel," Mary called out, causing the older woman to stop and wait as Mary walked toward her.

"It wasn't hay fever," Mary said when she stood before Isobel.

"But you said…." Isobel began in confusion.

"I know what I said, but it wasn't true. The truth is I wanted to tell Matthew first, but then I thought about how important you are to him and how he would want you to know, even if you get to know before him. You see, I am pregnant," Mary said as he hands instinctively came to rest on her stomach.

"Oh Mary, how wonderful!" Isobel said, not even trying to hide her pleasure at the thought of a grandchild.

"I am so glad you are pleased," Mary replied.

"Matthew will thrilled."

"I hope he will be. I wish he were here, but I am going to write to him as soon as I get home. I did not plan on telling anyone until I had told him and heard back from him. I still won't tell anyone else until I hear back from him, but I don't think he will mind that I made this one exception - in fact, I think he will be glad of it."

"I am touched you would share this with me Mary, truly I am. And you needn't worry my dear, your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you Isobel."

"And Mary, if you should have any questions, any at all, please know you can ask me any time."

"I appreciate that. Perhaps we could have tea tomorrow and you could tell me a little about what to expect. I am eager to know and would suggest today, but I am even more eager to write to Matthew."

"That is completely understandable and commendable," Isobel said.

"I know you have your doubts, but I do love him Isobel, much more than I ever thought I could love anyone," Mary said.

"It doesn't matter what I think," Isobel replied.

"But it does. It matters to Matthew so it does to me as well."

"Very well. I saw you with him when he was home. I think you like him, that you care for him, and that you love him in your own way, but loving him is easy right now - it is new, exciting, and you are not near each other to fight often. My doubts are because I wonder what will happen when loving him becomes hard. You are new to marriage, but trust me there comes a time in every marriage when loving the other person is hard. I hope that when that time comes, you will still feel the same because I know he will."

"I will. You may doubt it, but I will," Mary said firmly.

"I hope so Mary, I truly hope so. Now go write to my son. I know this is news he will want to hear."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\

_November 30, 1915_

_My Dearest Matthew,_

_I must ask you darling when I may expect to see you again. Unless it is very soon, there will be some changes when you come home. If you come in the next few months, you will find me much changed but only temporarily. If you arrive after June, I shall have some to introduce you to - someone very small. You see, I went to visit Dr. Clarkson this morning and he confirmed that I am pregnant. I wish I could tell you this in person rather than in writing for I should have loved to see your face when you found out you will be a papa, but I have come to terms with the fact that it cannot be and shall content myself by picturing your smile. I hope you are happy my love, and you may rest assured that I am. Now we can both rest easy, secure in the knowledge that we have done our duty. _

_I wanted to keep my pregnancy a secret until I told you because you deserve to be the first to know, but I must tell you that I made an exception. I told your mother when I ran into her as I was leaving Dr. Clarkson's office. I hope you don't mind. Of course Dr. Clarkson and Anna know as well, but no one else. I shall wait to hear from you before I share our secret. _

_It is funny. I keep touching my stomach, and I can scarcely believe our little prince is growing inside. It doesn't feel real yet. Perhaps it will when I have heard back from you. _

_All my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_December 8, 1915_

_My Darling Mary,_

_There could be no more welcome news than this! I could not be more happy - indeed I believe my face may be sore tomorrow from smiling so much today. I doesn't seem real that I can be so blissfully happy in such a place such as this. _

_I wish I could be there to look out for you both, but I cannot be so you must take care of yourself and our little one. I know you will tell me not to, but I shall worry about you constantly so you must write me all the time to keep me informed and calm. No detail is too mundane. _

_We are only authorized for one leave a year so it seems likely that I will see you until after the little one is born unless something unforeseen happens. _

_I am pleased that you have told my mother and can only hope it is a sign that things are improving between you two. I don't know how you have been able to keep the secret while waiting for me to receive your letter and then to respond. I suspect that before the day is over, I will have told every man here so please, so tell anyone you wish. _

_Two more things my love. First, you said that we could rest easily as we have done our duty. You must know that duty was the furthest thing from my mind those nights I spent with you. This child was made from love not duty. Second, you called the baby our little prince - please remember that it may in fact be a little princess. If that is the case, I do not want you to be disappointed and I assure you I will not be. This child will bring much joy whether it is a boy or a girl. _

_All my love to both of you,_

_Matthew_

_/_

Author's Note: I must tell you that I had not planned to have Mary pregnant at this point. In fact, I did not plan to have her get pregnant until the visit after Matthew was thought to be missing, but I got so much feedback from people wanting a pregnancy that I decided to readjust my plan and I think I like it this way even better and I hope you do too for it would have been a long wait otherwise. Hope you liked this chapter. Will it be a prince or a princess? Let me know what you think - it does make a difference :)


	23. Chapter 23

More Than Duty Chapter 23

With Christmas fast approaching, the servants were hard at work decorating Downton. The tree had been brought in that morning and Mary, Sybil and Cora were hanging the ornaments as Violet looked on.

"Mary, you have a far off look on your face. Is something the matter?" Cora asked.

"It is just odd to think that this is the second Christmas of my marriage and yet I have not spent one with my husband," Mary replied.

"Oh my darling," Cora said as she approached her daughter. "Let us hope that this war will be over soon and that all the men will be home next year."

"It so awful to think that he will spend Christmas in some cold, dirty trench somewhere," Mary replied, walking toward the window and turning away from her family so they would not see the tears welling up in her eyes.

She had received a letter from Matthew just yesterday that had elated her. He was so very pleased that they were to have a child, but had told her that he likely would not see her until after the child was born. She had known that it would likely be a long time before she would see him again, but to have it confirmed had been difficult. A year without him. A year in which she would carry and bear their child alone. The thought was so very hard to bear. And now to think that while she sat at Downton, safe, warm, and surrounded by all the trappings of the holiday season he was shivering in some far off dangerous trench.

Violet silently observed her granddaughter. Mary had been on a emotional rollercoaster over the past several months. The great sadness Mary had exhibited for months had melted away when Matthew returned, and Violet had to admit that she had never seen Mary so happy as that week when he was home. Since his departure, Mary's moods had fluctuated often, and she was clearly hurting again.

"Could he not request leave?" Cora asked, not liking to see her daughter in pain.

"The men only get a week a year," Sybil said, having spoken to several soldiers in the hospital about this very topic. "They might get a day pass or even a two day pass here or there, but that isn't enough time to get here and back."

"But he is an earl - not some common solider - surely an exception could be made," Violet said.

"He would never ask for that, no matter how much he might want to," Mary said firmly, wishing he would, but grudgingly respecting the fact that he wouldn't.

"How very silly," Violet said. He might not be willing to ask, but she had no such qualms, especially not when it would bring such happiness to Mary - not to mention that it would certainly increase the probability of an heir so the succession question could be laid to rest for another generation. Yes, she decided that she would call Shrimpy tonight and insist that he do something about this. Surely a leave was not too much to ask.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

_December 13, 1915_

_Dearest Matthew,_

_I am so very peaked that you are happy about my news. I must admit I still have not shared it with my family. I find I rather like having a secret that only you and I share - it makes me feel closer to you somehow. When I sit and think about the baby, I can't help but smile when I think that somewhere far away you may be thinking about the same thing. I suppose I shall have to tell the rest of the family fairly soon. This morning I noticed that my skirt felt just a bit tight, but nothing anyone will notice so I think I shall keep it to myself for a few more weeks. _

_You mustn't worry about me. I am feeling much better and far less tired this past week. Women do this all the time, so please do not fret about me - especially not while you are the one who is truly in danger._

_The snow fell yesterday and blanketed the estate. At first I thought it looked so beautiful, like a Christmas card, but then I thought how terrible winter must be for you. The thought of you shivering with cold in some far off trench bothered me the rest of the day. You must tell me how you are? Can I send you anything that would improve your lot? Tell me the truth darling, not what you think I would want to hear. _

_I miss you more than I thought possible and think of you constantly. And now I face another Christmas without you. I wish more than anything that you could be here with me, but I know that cannot be. _

_Yours always,_

_Mary_

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Five days before Christmas, Violet arrived at Downton for tea. When she was ushered into the drawing room, she was surprised to find Mary sipping tea and talking quietly to Isobel. They discussion halted as soon as she entered, and Violet suspected there was some secret between them.

"Granny, how lovely to see you," Mary said, standing to greet her.

"Where is your mother?" Violet asked.

"She went to visit Edith who still says she isn't ready to venture out," Mary replied. Honestly, it had been a month, certainly that was more than enough time to be up and about again especially given the fact that the birth had been uncomplicated and the baby was in good health. Edith looked perfectly healthy when Mary dutiful paid her a visit several days after the birth, but if Edith wanted to draw her recover out as long as possible, Mary was fine with it for she had no longing for her sister's company.

"Will she be back soon?"

"Unlikely. She is enamored with the baby and is usually there for hours," Mary said. Even Mary had to admit that the baby was good natured and rather cute, but visiting the baby involved visiting Edith who was still keen on needling Mary. It was easier now that Mary knew she was expecting as well, and would be even easier when the family knew and the smug smile was wiped off Edith's face.

"Well, I cannot stay that long, so you will have to relate my news to her when she does return," Violet said.

"What news?" Mary asked.

"My dear, I have a Christmas present for you," Violet said with a smile.

"But Christmas is still several days away," Mary replied in confusion.

"Yes, but this is a present I must give you now. You shall see when you open it," Violet said, passing an envelop to Mary.

Mary tore the envelope open, removing the contents. "A train ticket to Dover?"

"And a ferry ticket to Calais, and a train ticket to Paris," Violet added as Mary pulled the rest from the envelope.

"These are dated for December 23rd. Are we spending Christmas in Paris?"

"Not we, my dear you," Violet said with a smile, pausing for effect before giving Mary the rest of the news. "Well you and Matthew to be precise."

"Matthew? How is that possible?"

"I may have put in a call to Shrimpy," Violet admitted. "Now before you get too excited, it is only two days. I tried to get him back here for a proper Christmas holiday of a week at least, but Shrimpy said that was impossible. The best he could do was to find a task to send Matthew to Paris and then grant him a two day pass. I wish it could be more."

"It is more than I could have hoped for! Oh thank you!" Mary replied, her voice thick with emotion as she embraced her grandmother.

"Now, don't turn all American on me," Violet chided without conviction, clearly pleased to have brought Mary such joy.

"Who would have guessed that you are a secret romantic?" Isobel asked Violet with a grin.

"Even I remember what it was like to be young," Violet responded. "Besides, Downton needs and heir and how is that to happen if they are so rarely together?"

"What?" Violet asked when she saw Isobel and Mary share a smile.

"Well, actually, I don't think I will be able to conceive on this this visit," Mary said, having decided that since her grandmother had given her such joy, she would give a little of that joy back to her.

"What do you mean? Is all not as it should be with you two? Are you at odds again?"

"All is well, very well in fact, but you see it would be rather difficult to conceive when I am already pregnant."

"Oh my dear, what a relief that is," Violet said with a smile.

"And what a joy," Isobel added.

"Of course it is that too," Violet agreed.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"Lieutenant Crawley," his commanding officer said as he entered Matthew's quarters.

"Yes sir?" Matthew replied, as he and Ned jumped to attention at the man's presence.

"I have received orders for you to go to Paris the day after tomorrow."

"Why sir?" Matthew asked, causing his commanding officer to raise his eyebrows. "Not that I am objecting sir, but the day after tomorrow is Christmas eve after all. What could they need me in Paris for then?"

"Beats the hell out of me, but headquarters sent a telegram saying you are to meet with General Sir Herbert Strutt at fourteen hundred hours. Who knows, perhaps you'll come back a captain."

"I very much doubt that sir, but at least I can get a decent meal while I am there before getting back here that evening."

"Well, that was the other odd thing, The order came with a two day pass beginning on Christmas so you needn't be back until the 27th. Damn strange, but there you have it. Good day lads," he replied, leave Matthew's quarters.

"You lucky bastard," Ned said with a good natured grin. "What did you have to do to get that pass?"

"I do not have the slightly idea. Just luck I guess. Who is General Sir Herbert Strutt?"

"A landed gentleman from the south of England. Don't know if he has ever seen battle, but he has been quite successful at recruitment drives across England. Maybe he wants to talk to you about recruitment near your estate."

"Hmm, perhaps. This order still seems odd," Matthew said.

"What do you care about that? You get to spend Christmas in a warm bed in Paris dining on real food for a change. Don't question your good fortune my friend. And be sure to bring back a bottle of wine for me"

"A bottle of wine and a cigar to ring in the new year," Matthew promised.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Two days later, Matthew found himself sitting in front of General Strutt's desk at headquarters in Paris. The general was pleasant enough, asking questions about the area around Downton and later Manchester when he learned Matthew had previously resided there, but nothing seemed important enough to have dragged him to Paris on a holiday.

"I have yet to do a recruitment drive in the North of England. General Reed has been in charge of that area. His health has been fading though so it may soon fall to me as well. If it does, I shall keep you in mind Crawley."

"I shall be happy to provide whatever help I can sir," Matthew assured him.

"And now, I fear I must conclude this meeting."

"Of course sir," Matthew replied, standing to leave.

"Oh Crawley, I was asked to give you this," the General said, handing Matthew an envelope.

"Thank you sir. Good day," Matthew said as he left the office. Stopping in the hallway, he examined the enveloped. The writing was unfamiliar to him. When he opened it, there was a single piece of paper that said only 'Hotel Ritz Paris.' Matthew shook his head in confusion. The army did not provide lowly lieutenants with accommodations at luxury hotels. Rightfully, he should proceed to the officers club and see about more appropriate accommodations, but he decided it was best to follow the instruction, not matter how strange.

When he arrived at Hotel Ritz, he glanced around the lobby, but as expected he failed to see anyone he knew. He then proceeded to the front desk. "Do you have a reservation for Lieutenant Matthew Crawley?"

"No sire, but we have a reservation for Matthew Crawley, Earl of Grantham," the clerk replied.

"Yes, that is me," Matthew replied.

"Here are your key, your lordship. You are in room 515. Shall I have a valet sent up to assist you?"

"No thank you. I have become accustom to seeing to myself," Matthew said, walking toward the stairs. The whole way up, he tried to put the puzzle pieces together. It clearly wasn't the army who made this reservation, but then who did?

Putting the key in the lock and turning, he then pushed the door open slowly and entered. The sitting room was empty, but the door to what he presumed was the bedroom was ajar. Curious, Matthew walked over and pushed the door open, his jaw dropped.

As he walked slowly to the bed in disbelief, his eyes never left the sleeping figure of his wife. He had no idea how she had managed this, but to be honest, he could not bring himself to care - not when he was so very glad to see her. Kneeling beside the bed, he was taken aback by the sight before him. She looked so beautiful, so tranquil as she slept with a hand resting lightly on her stomach. He thought perhaps he should let her sleep, but he was too anxious to touch her, to kiss her, to talk to her. He settled himself on the bed beside her, and then, feeling only slightly guilty about his selfish inclinations, he gently placed a hand over hers and brought the other hand up to stroke her cheek as he gently kissed her lips.

She stirred almost immediately and was greeted by the Matthew's bright smile as soon as she opened her eyes.

"Oh Matthew," she whispered, coming quickly into his open arms.

"Oh my darling," he replied, before kissing her deeply.

When Mary pulled away, she continued to touch his face as if to prove to herself that he was really there. "I am so sorry I fell asleep. I didn't know what time to expect you so I laid down. I never intended to fall asleep. That wasn't the greeting I wanted to give you."

"Don't apologize. It was such a beautiful image. Anything else might have given me a heart attack," he said with a laugh before his expression turned serious again as he leaned in to kiss her. Her arms came up around his neck and tangled themselves in his hair as he eased her her onto her back. Their kisses quickly became more heated and Mary was soon working the buttons of his shirt, eager to rid him of it.

"My love, is it safe?" he asked. She raised her eyebrow at him in confusion, but was enlightened when he gently caressed her stomach.

"It is perfectly alright," she assured him, tenderly stroking his cheek.

"Are you certain? I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt you or the baby."

"Yes, I am certain," she replied as he continued to softly stroke her stomach in awe. "Now Matthew, I suggest you kiss me before I get cross," she teased.

Looking up at her, he saw both mirth and need reflected in her eyes, and he eagerly complied.

Afterward, she laid peacefully in his arms as they both continued to lightly touch and caress the other, unable to believe that this was real.

"How on Earth did you manage to arrange this Mary," Matthew asked.

"It wasn't me. It was Granny. She tried to get you a full leave, but even her threats did not prove successful, so she arranged this," Mary admitted.

"Cousin Violet? I didn't think she had a romantic bone in her body," he said in surprise.

"Neither did your mother," Mary informed him. "But she said she remembers what it was like to be young. Well, that and that this meeting might provide Downton with an heir."

Propping himself up on his side, he let one hand softly rub her belly. "Hmmm, I guess we are one step ahead of her," he said, leaning his head down to kiss her stomach. "I can scarily believe our baby is right here under my hand."

"I told her," Mary said, running her fingers through Matthew's hair as he continued to shower her stomach with soft kisses.

"Told her what?" Matthew asked, clearly distracted.

"I told Granny about the baby," Mary said when he looked up at her. "She is the first one to know besides your mother."

"Well, that is appropriate. Without her, I don't think the little one would be here now," Matthew said.

"What do you mean?" Mary asked.

"Cousin Violet wrote to me."

"When?"

"A while ago. It was the day I received her letter that I first wrote to you," Matthew informed her.

"What did she say?"

"She told me that you loved me. Then she reminded me that I loved you once and asked whether it was possible to love you again."

"Well, thank God for Granny," Mary replied.

"Yes indeed. And for you for forgiving my foolishness."

"And you for forgiving mine," she said, leaning in to kiss him deeply, her hands roaming his chest as they kissed. When her hands moved lower on his sides, she felt a small area on one side where the skin was slightly lifted. Pulling her lips from his, she looked down to examine it.

"I hope you don't think it too hideous," Matthew said as she looked at his scar.

"It isn't hideous at all," Mary said as she ran a finger along the small scar. "In fact, I think I made a promise to kiss it when next we met."

"You don't have to do that Mary," he said, gently stoking her cheek.

"But I want to," she assured him, pushing him gently to lay down as he lips slowly began their descent toward his scar.

TBC

Author's Note: I did a little research and found that British soldiers in World War I received one leave a year so I decided to stick with that, but decided a short pass would not be out of the question so I could give Matthew and Mary a chance to be together again before the baby. I figured Violet would be more than willing to pull some strings to get her way. I hope you liked it and did not think it was too unrealistic. Let me know what you think :)


	24. Chapter 24

More Than Duty Chapter 24

_February 2, 1916_

_My Dearest Matthew,_

_Exciting news my darling - I felt the baby move today. I think perhaps I have been feeling it a few days, only I had no idea what it was. It is a very odd sensation, almost like bubbles inside of me. After three days, I finally mentioned it to my mother and she enlightened me. Do not be sad that you have missed this my love for even if you were here, you could not have felt anything. Mother says it will be another month or so until the baby's movements can be felt from the outside._

_I suppose it feels more real now that in a few months I shall be holding our baby in my arms. I can only hope that you will be here soon after that._

_All my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_February 18, 1916_

_My Darling Mary,_

_Your letter made me smile even more than letters from you normally do. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that our baby is well and kicking. I am sad I missed you feeling the baby's first movements even if I would not have been able to feel it had I been there. I wish I could be there with you and for you, but know that you are always in my thoughts. _

_Thank you for the package. It has been very cold here lately so the gloves you sent are most welcome. I shall think of you every time I put them on. I wish I could send you a gift in return, but sadly there is no place for me shop near here for me to shop for a gift for you. _

_It is bleak here. Both sides seem to be hunkered down and waiting for winter to pass. I find myself passing the time by thinking of you. I close my eyes and I can see you. Doing so never fails to bring a smile to my face._

_How are you my love? Is all well at Downton?_

_Matthew_

_/_

_March 2, 1916_

_My dearest Matthew,_

_I am so pleased that you liked the gloves. Please do not worry about getting a present for me. I have all I could want, other than your presence of course._

_You would be surprised by how much of a difference two months can make. My stomach is no longer flat and seems to grow everyday. None of my clothing fits anymore and sleep is starting to become a challenge as finding a comfortable position is becoming more and more difficult_

_I cannot believe in a little over three months our baby will be here. I have started redecorating the nursery for it has not been in use in a very long time. I hung your picture up by the crib today so the baby will see you every day, even when you are far away._

_All my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_March 15, 1916_

_My Darling Mary,_

_I am so very pleased that you have put my picture in the nursery. I hate to think that I shall be a stranger to the baby at least for the foreseeable future. _

_Do not fret about your appearance my love as I am certain you look beautiful. I would suggest that you have a picture taken and sent to me for I should love to see how you look as you grow round with our child, but I suspect somehow you will object._

_Winter has not yet melted away. I long for spring as it will lift the monotony of a winter in the trenches, but with spring comes a renewed fighting season. I fear that we will soon see action, for the commanders will want to push our lines forward. It is hard to think about, for I know we will lose many good men when we go over, but at the same time, until we can push the Germans back, I will not be able to return to you so I am rather anxious to get to it knowing it must come sooner or later anyway._

_Pray for me Mary as I pray for you._

_With all my love and affection,_

_Matthew_

_/_

Mary sat at the writing desk in the library re-reading Matthew's latest later and thinking about how she should respond. As she pulled out a piece of paper, she was interrupted by Carson announcing Edith who trailed him into the room carrying little Robert in her arms. Mary sighed and laid down her pen as she stood to greet her sister.

"Edith, what brings you here?" Mary asked, trying to keep the annoyance from her voice.

"Mama asked me to come for tea. Carson said she is speaking with Mrs. Hughes and will be down shortly," Edith replied, as she sat on the sofa, balancing the baby on her knee. Mary watched silently as Edith bounded her knee up and down, making the child laugh and smile at her. It was odd to see this new side of her sister, but Mary had to admit that the baby seemed captivated by Edith as he smiled and reached his little hand out to grab her necklace. Edith just smiled indulgently as he pulled the necklace to his mouth and began sucking on it.

"He puts everything in his mouth these days. Truthfully, it is better than when he yanks on my necklaces. He has broken three already," Edith said as she looked up at Mary.

"You shouldn't let him do it," Mary said simply.

"It really doesn't hurt anything, and it makes him happy. Necklaces are repairable in any case," Edith said with a shrug as she leaned down and planted a kiss on the baby's cheek.

Mary shrugged in return. If Edith was content to allow the baby to ruin her necklaces, it was no concern of Mary's.

"You look tired Mary. I suppose it is about that time when sleeping becomes difficult," Edith observed.

"I suppose now you will tell me how you slept like a baby last night," Mary replied in annoyance. Although Mary was in fact very tired due to not being about the find a comfortable sleeping position for hours last night, she did not want to give Edith any satisfaction.

"I did actually," Edith said. "But the night before that, I didn't sleep much at all. Poor Robbie is getting his first tooth and was up all night."

"Where was his nanny?" Mary inquired.

"She was there, but I couldn't leave him when he was hurting and wanting his mama. Mary, believe it or not, I didn't comment about how you looked tired to torture you. I remember how hard it was to sleep at this point in my pregnancy and when I was tired, it made everything else so much worse."

"Very well, yes, sleeping has been difficult for days. I can't sleep on my stomach or back anymore, but when I sleep on my side, I am uncomfortable and my back aches in the morning," Mary admitted.

"Several women told me using a pillow to support my stomach as I slept might help, but it was never big enough and always seemed to slip out of position. Eventually, I sewed several pillows together to make a pillow nearly as long as I am. It looked ridiculous and my maid seemed to think I had taken leave of my senses, but it was most helpful. Perhaps you could try that," Edith suggested.

"Why are you being so nice?" Mary asked, the suspicion clear in her voice.

"Because I remember what it was like to be pregnant, uncomfortable, and facing a lonely bed each night. Besides, I am in a good mood. Anthony is due home for leave in a week," Edith said, before being distracted as Robbie reached his hand up to grab at his mother's face. Edith just laughed at his antics and picked him up so he could balance on his legs with her support as he grinned up at her.

"He adores you," Mary said, causing Edith to look at her in shock. "Well, it is clear he does," Mary said simply.

"Yes, he does, but not as much as I adore him. A baby is truly life changing as you will soon find out," Edith replied. "He is a good baby - happy almost all the time. Would you like to hold him?"

"I am afraid I don't have as much room on my lap as I used to," Mary replied.

"He won't mind. Just hold him up and let him stand on your knees. It is his favorite thing to do," Edith said, passing the baby to Mary. Mary was surprised to find that the baby actually smiled at her and seemed to appreciate her efforts to help him jump, causing Mary to laugh despite herself.

Cora was shocked when she entered the room a few minutes later to find Mary playing with the nephew she had been ambivalent toward for months as Edith looked on smiling.

/

_March 29, 1916_

_Dearest Matthew,_

_I must say I am in no hurry for spring if it brings danger to you. While I understand and share your longing for this war to be over so you can come home, I would rather you be safe even if it means that you are gone longer. _

_You are correct in your suspicion that I would refuse you a photo of myself in my current condition. There are so many reasons I hate that you are so far away, but I must admit a little part of me is pleased that you will not see me looking like this. Trust me darling, I am far from desirable now and getting less so with every day that passes. _

_Sleep has been increasingly difficult. I have some hope that my ability to sleep may soon improve for I was given some advice today that may prove helpful. Oddly that advice came from a source I would least expect - Edith. I am not sure if it is the fact that Sir Anthony is due home on leave soon or something more, but she truly seemed to want to help. _

_With only a little over two months until we can expect our little one, perhaps it is time we discuss names. While I had favored Robert for a son, Edith beat me to it and it seems odd to have two Roberts so close in age in one family. Perhaps Reginald for your father? Or maybe Henry as several previous earls were called? Tell me of your preferences darling. _

_All my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_April 14, 1916_

_My Darling Mary,_

_I am dreadfully sorry that you are uncomfortable, but you must believe me when I say that you will always be desirable in my eyes. While I cannot be there this time to prove it to you, perhaps the next time you carry a child, this war will be over and I can be there to remind you every day how lovely you are,_

_Reginald would be my preference for a son. I would be very pleased to honor my father in that way. We could use Robert for his middle name to honor your father as well. If you don't wish to use Robert for a middle name, then perhaps Edward for my friend who saved my life in the early days of this war._

_Darling, I can't help but notice that you only mentioned names for a boy. I know you have your heart set on a son despite by repeated urging that you do not do so for fear that you will be disappointed if it turns out we have a daughter. So please let me urge you again to not pin your hopes on a son. Any child will be a blessing and God willing, this baby will have siblings. Now for a name for a girl, since you do not seem to have a preference, may I suggest Elizabeth. _

_I hope whatever advice Edith has given you proved successful for I hate to think of you suffering. I cannot say what has made Edith make this overture to you, but Mary, I hope you take this opportunity to mend fences with her. It may take time, but it will prove worth it. You are sisters and should not always be at odds. Beyond that, you both have husbands in the army. You should support each other - not antagonize each other. _

_The weather has warmed up and with it the rumors of a new offensive have begun. I suspect it will be fairly soon - perhaps this summer. _

_All my love and good wishes,_

_Matthew_

TBC

Author's Note: Mary will have the baby in the next chapter - Reginald or Elizabeth? Let me know what you think.


	25. Chapter 25

More Than Duty Chapter 25

June 23, 1916

"Everything is moving along very well. It won't be long now Lady Grantham," Dr. Clarkson informed Mary after completing his most recent examination.

"That is what you said an hour ago and an hour before that," Mary grumbled. Time seemed to have slowed down. It seemed like much longer than the 14 hours that had passed. She had been awoken in the night by pains which quickly became regular. After ringing for Anna shortly before dawn, Mary was quickly moved to a room down the hall that had been readied for her delivery. The room soon became a hub of activity which had not ebbed all day as her mother, Isobel, granny, and both of her sister's remained with her. Mama had been reluctant to allow Sybil to remain as she was still unmarried, but Mary had laughed and reminded her mother that Sybil likely saw much worse at the hospital and should be allowed to stay if she wanted.

Mary winced in pain as another contraction gripped her body. "It's okay my darling, just breathe," Cora said as she wiped the sweat from her daughter's forehead with a cool, damp towel.

"How much longer?" Mary panted when the contraction had passed. The pain was getting much worse, the intervals of relied much shorter, and she didn't know how much more of it she could bear.

"You must be patient. Babies come in God's time my lady, not in ours," Dr. Clarkson replied. "It won't be much longer before you can start pushing, but for now, you must try to bear the pain as best you can. It will be over before you know it. Now if you will excuse me for a moment," Dr. Clarkson said as he exited the room.

"That is easy for him to say having never had to do this himself," Mary complained as soon as the door closed behind the doctor.

"It is always easier for men. Your grandfather could never understand why it took so long for a woman to deliver when his horse could do so in half an hour," Granny said.

"I think the wait can be equally hard on men. Robert nearly wore a hole in the carpet from his pacing during my first delivery," Cora said.

"What of your husband Isobel?" Mary asked.

"Well dear, he was a doctor so he delivered Matthew himself."

"Good heavens, I would never have allowed my husband in the delivery room, doctor or not," Granny said in shock.

Mary was inclined to agree with her grandmother, but before she could respond, she was hit with another contraction and doubled over in pain. This one was so bad that she screamed in pain as she tried to resist the urge to push.

"After enduring this, how does any woman let a man within ten feet of her bed," Mary wondered aloud when the contraction finally subsided.

"Thankfully my dear, God has blessed women with flawed memories. The memories of this pain will quickly dull, but you will vividly remember the joy of holding your baby for the first time," Cora said with a smile as she offered Mary a drink of water.

"Besides, you won't see Matthew for months. Trust me, when you do, this pain will be the last thing on your mind," Edith said with certainty of someone who spoke from experience.

"If you don't disappear with Matthew within minutes of his arrival on his next leave, I shall burn those pants Granny hates so much," Sybil said with a grin.

"Sybil!" Cora admonished her youngest daughter.

"Try very hard to resist Mary for I do detest those pants," Violet urged.

It was nearly three hours later when Dr. Clarkson finally announced that it was time for Mary to begin to push.

"It is about time," Mary muttered as her mother and Isobel helped her sit up and get ready to push, and Edith and Sybil hurried to position pillows behind her back to support her.

"Aright Lady Grantham, when you feel the next contraction, you must push with all your might. Take their hands and squeeze as you bear down. Scream if you must, but focus on pushing," Dr. Clarkson instructed as he positioned himself between her legs to deliver the baby. "Nurse Crawley, come stand by me. You can assist with cutting the cord when the baby arrives."

Normally, Mary would have been mortified to have anyone, even the doctor, observing her as he was, but at this point, she was exhausted and so ready for this pain to be at an end, that she could not bring herself to care. Soon enough, the next contraction was upon her. Gripping Cora's and Isobel's hands, she pushed as hard as she could. The pain was like nothing she had ever known, and she screamed loudly as she continued to push with all the strength she had left.

"Now rest for a moment and breathe deeply. You are doing very very. I can see the crown of the baby's head," Dr. Clarkson said. "One more deep breath and then push again."

Mary's scream filled the room as she pushed again. "Now another big push. That's it. You are doing exceptionally well," Dr. Clarkson said as Mary's face contorted in pain. "The head is out. One more push and you will be done. Now push," Dr. Clarkson instructed.

Taking a deep breath and steeling her body for the pain, Mary pushed again, her head thrown back as the pain rushed through her body. A few moments later the pain subsided and a new sound fill the room - the cry of a baby. Mary fell back against the pillows, her eyes closed in relief that the pain was over. "Is it a boy? Is he healthy?" she asked seconds later, her eyes opening again as she tried to get her breathing under control.

"You have a perfectly healthy daughter Lady Grantham," Dr. Clarkson said as he handed the baby to Sybil and reached for scissors to cut the chord as the baby wiggled and continued to cry. "Yes, very healthy - especially her lungs. Congratulations to you and Lord Grantham," Dr. Clarkson said with a smile as he took the baby back from Sybil, wrapped her in the blanket that he been laid out, and handed her to Mary.

"A daughter," Mary said softly as she held the baby. She had wanted a boy so very badly despite Matthew's urging for her to not pin her hopes on a son. She wanted a son so badly that she thought she would have been disappointed in the extreme if she was to be presented with a girl instead.

The crying infant ceased howling as soon as Mary reached for her and held her close. As soon as the cries ceased, the baby opened its eyes and Mary was met with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes that looked so like Matthew's that Mary choked back a sob. Reaching out a shaky hand, Mary stoked the baby's soft cheek, feeling only love for this precious bundle that she had been given.

"She is beautiful," Mary said in awe as she touched the dusting of blond hair on the baby's head. "So very beautiful."

"Indeed she is," Cora agreed, smiling in relief that Mary did not seem too disappointed.

"She looks so much like Matthew," Isobel commented, reaching out a hand to touch her granddaughter.

"You have done very well, my dear. Very well indeed," Violet said with a smile.

"What will you call her?" Sybil asked.

"Matthew wanted to name her Elizabeth," Mary said, never looking away from the baby.

"What a lovely name," Edith said.

"Mama, will you ring for Carson? I want to have a telegram sent to Matthew right away," Mary said, as she lifted the baby up to kiss her upon the forehead.

\\\\\\\

"More troops arrived today," Ned commented as he took a seat next to Matthew.

"More seem to arrive every day all along the Somme. It can't be long now before we get the order to go over. A week at most," Matthew said.

"Judging by the numbers, it will be one hell of a battle," Ned replied.

"Pardon me Lieutenant Crawley," a private said as he entered Matthew's quarters.

"Yes, what is it," Matthew replied.

"A telegram for you sir, from England," the private replied, shocked by the speed at which Matthew was on his feet and grabbing the telegram from his hand.

Ned laughed at the shocked look on the boy's face. "You must excuse him lad, he is anxiously awaiting word from his wife."

_My dearest Matthew, I am so pleased to tell you that Lady Elizabeth Violet Crawley was born this evening. She is healthy and beautiful. We are both doing well and send our love. Mary_

"Good news I assume," Ned asked, noting the wide smile that lit up his friend's face.

"I have a daughter," Matthew said in wonder.

"Congratulations!" Ned said, slapping Matthew on the back.

"Mary said she is beautiful and that they are both doing well," Matthew added, thinking he would trade anything he had to be at Downton right now with his wife and daughter.

"Then we must celebrate. Just a moment," Ned said as he rushed from the room. When he returned a moment later, he had to laugh that Matthew was still standing right where he left him, looking stunned and grinning like an idiot "To celebrate my friend. I bought them on my last trip to Paris," Ned said as he handed his friend a cigar.

TBC

Author's Note: So I had not expected to finish this part today, but when I did, I had to decide between posting it - a first for me to post 2 chapters in one day - or waiting until tomorrow as most of you may not have even read Chapter 24 that was posted only a few hours ago. I decided to go ahead and post it. I hope you enjoyed it and will take the time to let me know what you thought.

Next up - trying to decide if I will write Matthew at the battle of the Somme or jump ahead to his November leave following the battle. Thoughts are appreciated.


	26. Chapter 26

**NOTE: I posted two chapters on Sunday, but second of the two which covers Mary having the baby has only 1/3 of the normal amount of reads. If you have not read Chapter 25, you may want to read it before you read this chapter.**

/

More Than Duty Chapter 26

"Sergeant Stevens!" Matthew yelled as he returned to the trench with the body of a wounded soldier slung over his shoulders.

"Sir?" Stevens responded quickly.

"I want every wounded man taken down the line before it starts to get dark. We've bloody well lost enough of them for one day," Matthew ordered, handing the wounded man off to the medics. Wiping the sweat from his head, he walked to his bunker. They had so lost many men, but the damn battle that had raged on for months seemed to be winding down. Four and a half months of hell, of death, for a few bloody miles of advancing?

God, his throat was parched and he desperately needed a drink. At that moment, Davis entered, caring a pitter, cloth, and a telegram.

"When did this arrive?" Matthew asked, reaching for the telegram first.

"Sir?" Davis asked as Matthews face lit up reading the message.

"Good news. We will be relieved today by the Devons. The men can finally get some rest, and I've got a few days leave coming to me," Matthew said.

"Crawley, did you hear?" Ned yelled as he came in waving his telegram.

"Yes, finally a leave," Matthew said, pulling a picture of Elizabeth from his pocket. One could have easily guessed that the picture that Mary had sent him only three months ago was several years old from the wear it had received in that time. Not a day had gone by when Matthew had not had it in his pocket and pulled it out several times a day to look upon the only image he had ever seen of his daughter.

"What'll you do with your leave sir?" Davis asked.

"What do you think he'll do?" Ned said with a laugh for any fool would know exactly what Matthew's plans were.

"Head north naturally. There are two ladies I am eager to see," Matthew said as he stared at the photo he had already committed to memory.

"No stop over in London to remind yourself what real food taste like?" Davis asked.

"Not when these ladies have been waiting months for me," Matthew said, knowing he needed to see his girls much more than he needed a decent meal, although he certainly wouldn't pass up some real food once once he had seen his girls. "Davis, send a telegram to Downton immediately telling them to expect me the day after tomorrow."

"Wake up Crawley," Ned said the next morning as he smacked the wall near Matthew's head.

"What?" Matthew demanded as he jumped out of bed.

"The Devons have arrived early. If you hurry, you can make the morning train and with any luck, you can be early this evening," Ned said, beaming that he was able to bring Matthew the good news that he would be able to get home a full day early and have a little extra time with his family. Matthew was on is feet immediately cause Ned to laugh as he set out to help his friend gather his belongings so he could make the train in time.

Matthew relaxed as soon as he settled into his seat, realizing that in only a matter of hours he would be home. When he reached London, he had a half hour before his next train and wondered if perhaps he should telegram or call home to let them know he would be arriving a day early. No, he decided, he would rather surprise Mary. He did some quick calculations and realized that he would be arriving home just before dinner. Perhaps he could catch her unaware as she was dressing for dinner. He couldn't help smiling at the idea.

Arriving in Ripon, he walked swiftly to the Abbey.

"My lord, we didn't expect you until tomorrow," Carson said, attempting to cover his surprise at seeing Matthew when he opened the door.

"I had a bit of luck and was able to get away a day early," Matthew said as Carson took his bag. Glancing around the entrance, he saw no sign of his wife. "Where is Mary?"

"She is upstairs in nursery putting lady Elizabeth to sleep," Carson replied.

"Mary is putting the baby to sleep?" Matthew asked, very pleasantly surprised that Mary didn't leave such a task to the nanny.

"She does every night my lord. She ordered dinner service be moved back by an hour so that she is able to do so and ended the ringing of the dressing gong for fear that it could disturb Lady Elizabeth's rest," Carson informed him.

"Where is the nursery?" Matthew asked, eager to see his wife and daughter but realizing that he had no idea where the nursery was located.

"Allow me to show you my lord," Carson said, motioning Matthew to follow him.

"No thank you Carson. I'd like to go on my own. Just tell me where it is," Matthew replied.

"Up the staircase, to your left, the sixth door on your right," Carson informed him.

"Thank you Carson," Matthew said, as he hurried in the direction Carson had suggested. He was nearly to the nursery door when Sybil rounded the corner. Sybil's jaw dropped momentarily, but as she was about to greet him, Matthew brought a finger to her lips, nodding toward the nursery door. Sybil, realizing his meaning, gave him a conspiratorial grin and retreated down the hallway silently.

He eased the door open, taking care not to make a sound and stepped inside. The sight before him took his breath away. Mary had her back to him as she kneeled on the door with the baby in front of her. She had the baby in a sitting position with Mary's assistance.

"Okay Elizabeth, let's try this one more time," Mary said gently as she moved her hands away slowly. The baby grinned at her for a moment before promptly toppling over, causing Mary to laugh when the little girl laughed at finding herself laying on her back. "Alright darling, that is enough practice for tonight. You will be able to sit up on your own soon enough," Mary said, lifting the baby into her arms and kissing her cheek as the baby laughed and reached for Mary's hair. "Tomorrow is a big day my darling. You finally get to meet your Papa, and we both want to look our very best for him, so perhaps you could do Mama a favor and let me sleep tonight."

"Perhaps she will let you sleep tonight my darling, but I can't promise the same," Matthew whispered, having snuck up behind her.

Mary startled at the sound of his voice and the warmth of his breath against her neck. Spinning around, she saw him standing there smiling at her. "You're here," she gasped one of his arms came around her waist and the other one reached out cautiously toward Elizabeth.

"My God Mary, she is beautiful," Matthew whispered as he softly touched her cheek, terrified that she would start crying. The little girl briefly hid her head against Mary's shoulder, but was soon peaking out to look at Matthew.

"Don't be afraid, she will warm up to soon," Mary encouraged him as she kissed Elizabeth's cheek. "Everything is already Elizabeth, it is perfect really. This is your Papa," Mary murmured to their baby as she felt Matthew's lips brush softly against her forehead. When Elizabeth reached her hand up and touched her mother's face, she seemed surprised when Matthew kiss her hand, but after a moment she smiled at him. When his baby smiled at him for the first time, Matthew let go of a breath he had not realized he was holding thinking.

"Would you like to hold her?" Mary asked.

"Do you think she would let me?" Matthew asked. Mary just smiled at him, and passed him their daughter. Elizabeth looked a little unsure about being passed off to a stranger and looked toward her mother who stroked her hair and continued to tell her that all was well. Pretty soon, the baby seemed to relax and turned her gaze back toward Matthew.

"Talk to her. She likes that," Mary gently suggested.

"Hello my darling girl. You cannot know how happy I am to finally see you," Matthew said, careful to keep his voice soft so as not to frighten her.

"Sway a little - she likes movement," Mary prompted. She didn't want to be overbearing, but she so desperately wanted this first meeting between father and daughter to go well.

Matthew followed her suggestion and soon Elizabeth was smiling at him. "What a beautiful girl you are," Matthew said. He continued to sway and talk to the baby as Mary looked on until Elizabeth yawned and snuggled in against his shoulder making his heart melt. Matthew looked toward Mary wondering what he should do as the baby's eyes closed and her head rested against his shoulder.

"Keep swaying for a few moments to be sure she is fast asleep," Mary said, moving in closer to wrap an arm around Matthew's waist. Laying her head against his chest, Mary softly rubbed Elizabeth's back as she hummed a lullabye. Matthew closed his eyes wondering how less than a day ago he was in hell and yet he had never felt closer to heaven as he did in this moment when he was holding his wife and daughter. They stayed like that for several minutes until Mary softly informed him that Elizabeth was safely asleep. Matthew kissed Elizabeth gently before allowing Mary to lift her from his arms and lay her in her crib.

"She is perfect," Matthew whispered in amazement as he looked down at the baby as she slept.

"She really is," Mary agreed.

"And you are perfect with her," Matthew added, pulling Mary into his arms.

Mary laughed softy at his assertation. "Oh I am far from perfect with her. You just haven't had a chance to observe my mistakes yet."

"What mistakes?"

"Well, she likes to be lifted high in the air. I did that once too quickly after her feeding, and she got sick all over me."

Matthew laughed briefly as he brought a hand up to caress Mary's face. "Little mistakes like that are bound to happen, but really Mary, you are perfect with her, such a wonderful mother."

Mary smiled at his compliment and leaned in to kiss him properly. Matthew pulled her closer to feel her body flush against his as he deepened their kiss. When he finally pulled his lips away, he leaned his forehead against hers. "I suppose we ought dress for dinner, but honestly sitting across from you counting the minutes until we can be alone is about the last thing I want to do right now," he confessed.

"What is the first thing you want to do right now?," Mary couldn't help but ask even though look in his eyes gave away the answer.

"All sorts of things," he replied, pulling her back to him.

"Well then," Mary said as she swallowed hard, eager for all sorts of things herself. "I suppose we could skip dinner."

Taking her hand, Matthew led her from the nursery, down the hall, and to their bedroom. When they entered, Anna was waiting inside to help Mary dress for dinner.

"Anna, I am afraid Lord Grantham and I will be unable to join the family for dinner. Please make our excuses," Mary instructed, her face turning slightly red.

"Yes my lady," Anna said. "And welcome home my lord," Anna added, before slipping quietly from the room.

"You don't know how much I have missed you my darling," Matthew told her as he closed the gap between them.

"Oh, I think I have an idea," Mary replied, closing the final distance between them as her lips met his. Their need for each other was too great to go slowly and soon hands were pulling insistently at clothing. When Matthew laid Mary on the bed and was about to divest her of her last scraps of clothing, she suddenly stopped him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his mind hazy with desire.

"I am afraid you will find my body has been changed since last you saw me," Mary said, not meeting his eyes.

"Changed?" he asked, thoroughly confused as he looked down at her. "You look as beautiful to me as ever. No one would ever guess by looking at you that you had so recently carried a child."

"Perhaps not from afar, but up close, there are marks," Mary informed him, thinking of the tiny lines left where her skin had stretched during her pregnancy. "Perhaps we should put out the light."

Matthew just shook his head softly and whispered "Show me."

Mary hesitated but seeing the look on his face, she closed her eyes and brought his hand to the place on her stomach where she knew the lines were.

"You are worried about these little things?" Matthew asked a moment later.

Mary opened her eyes again to look into his. "You mean you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind. Mary, these are your battle scars. You got them giving us Elizabeth," he said, brushing her hair out of her face. "Do you remember what you did to my battle scar?" Matthew asked. Her eyes went wide and she nodded before Matthew kissed her lips one more time and began slowly kissing a trial downward toward the marks she now realized she never should have worried about him seeing.

TBC

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I am just wondering because the readership of the last chapter fell by 2/3s and I am not sure why. Anyway, up next will be more of the leave, how the war has affected Matthew, and some father-daughter time.


	27. Chapter 27

More Than Duty Chapter 27

The sun was barely beginning to peak through the curtains when Mary began to stir. The warmth of Matthew's chest beneath her cheek and the feel of his legs tangled with hers brought a smile to Mary's face even before she opened her eyes. His disheveled look was oddly appealing she thought as she took in the stubble on his face and his hair that was in a state of complete disorder.

She knew that she ought to let him sleep because he probably didn't get enough sleep at the front but she simply could not resist planting a soft kiss on his chest. From there, it only seemed natural to kiss his neck and make her way toward his ear. When she gently pulled his earlobe between her lips, she felt his arms come around her waist.

"Mmmm my darling, what a delightful way to wake up," Matthew whispered.

"You don't mind that I woke you?" Mary asked with a grin as she brought her hands up into his hair.

"Not at all. You can wake me like that anytime you like," he assured her. "Although I must admit to being a bit surprised that it is you waking me. I don't recall any other morning of our marriage when you woke before I did. As I recall, you do not particularly care for waking at an early hour."

"I may not particularly care for waking early, but I have adjusted to it," Mary replied as she continued to run her fingers through his hair.

"Why?"

"Because Elizabeth doesn't particularly care for waiting for a more reasonable hour to have her breakfast," Mary informed him.

"Have I told you what a wonderful mother you are," Matthew asked, cupping her chin so she would look at him. "Because you are, so very wonderful," he added as he captured her lips in a heated kiss. She eagerly returned the kiss as her hands left his hair, traveling to his chest, and then slowly made their way downward.

With a moan, Matthew rolled them over so that Mary was on her back and he was hovering above her, balancing his weight on his forearms as they kissed and caressed one another. Before he could take full advantage of their new position however, there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Mary called out, hoping it was someone who could be easily dismissed.

"Whoever is disturbing us now should be let go without a reference," Matthew muttered against her neck.

"Begging your pardon my lady, but Lady Elizabeth has awakened and is rather insistent that she be fed," came the reply from the other side of the door.

"Darling, if I were a better mother, I would not be tempted to suggest that her nanny give her a bottle this morning," Mary confessed. She knew though that, tempted though she might be, she would never actually do that. Giving Matthew an apologetic look and a quick, chaste kiss, she wiggling out from under him, donned a robe, and walked to the door. A quick look back at the bed revealed that Matthew had sat up and pulled the blankets up to prevent any embarrassment.

"I am so very sorry my lady. I tried to delay her, but she was having none of it," the nanny informed Mary.

"It is quite alright," Mary assured her as she took the squirming Elizabeth from the nanny. "I will ring for you when I need you, but we may keep her with us for a while."

"Well good morning my darling. What a good girl you were letting mama sleep last night," Mary said to Elizabeth as she carried her to the bed. The baby just smiled at Mary and pulled at Mary's hair that was loose and flowing. Mary sat on the bed and settled Elizabeth on her lap. Matthew reached to touch Elizabeth, but she instantly started to cry. Matthew yanked his hand back right away, his face betraying the sadness he felt at the fact that he was a stranger to his daughter.

"She is just fussy because she is hungry. Don't worry darling, she will be in a much better mood once she has eaten," Mary assured him. "Why don't you dress for the day and I can call for you when I am done feeding her. I am sure she will be happy to have you hold her then," Mary added.

"I want to stay," Matthew told her, intrigued by seeing Mary in her new role as a mother. His answer surprised her so much that Mary looked at him for a moment trying to decide if she was comfortable letting him watch her do this. Feeding Elizabeth was something very private, it was their bonding time and she never allowed anyone to be present with her. Never did she think that a man would want to see something like this, but she could tell that Matthew did.

"Why?" Mary asked.

"This is my family - you and Elizabeth. I have been robbed of seeing so many things so when I have the chance to see my family, I don't want to miss a single moment," Matthew explain.

"All right then," Mary said with a soft smile. Mary leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek before opening her robe just enough to allow Elizabeth the access she needed. As Elizabeth began to nurse contentedly, Mary looked over to see the awe on Matthew's face.

"I am surprised you decided to feed her yourself," he admitted.

"Not fashionable I know, but I feel so close to her when I do this. It is our private time when we are in our own peaceful world," Mary explained.

"Thank you for letting me in, even if only for a little while," Matthew said, taking her hand and bringing it up to his lips.

When she finished feeding and burping the baby, Mary laid Elizabeth on her back on the bed and watched as the little girl smiled, flailed her arms, and kicked her legs. "Well aren't you energetic this morning," Matthew said, laughing at the baby who continued to kick wildly.

"Stick your tongue out at her," Mary prompted. Matthew gave Mary a doubtful look but then did as she asked. Immediately, Elizabeth started to giggle and reach out for him. "She wants to try to grab it," Mary told him.

"Is that so sweetheart?" Matthew asked Elizabeth before sticking his touch out again, bringing on a new round of giggles as she tried again to reach for him.

"Here," Mary said, lifting the baby up and helping her to stand on Matthew's lap. "Put your hands around her waist and hold her as she stands." Matthew did as Mary said and Elizabeth grinned at him as she grabbed at his face. Again and again he stuck his tongue out at her, but right before she could grab it, he would pull it back into his mouth, making her squeal and laugh even harder. It took nearly a quarter hour before Elizabeth finally tired of the game. When she did, Mary handed her a small rattle which she proceeded to suck on contentedly.

"I cannot believe she is five months old today," Mary said.

"I cannot believe I didn't get to see my baby until she was five months old. Or that I might not see her again for another year," Matthew said, his voice heavy with sadness.

"Surely this war cannot last that much longer," Mary said. Matthew didn't want to share with her his fears that this could be a very, very long war. How could it not be when it took months of battle to advance a few miles? No, as much as he feared that, he wanted to shelter Mary from it.

"Let's hope you are right my love," he said, hoping she did not hear the doubt in his voice.

\\\\\

That afternoon, Matthew found himself on his own. Mary had been very apologetic as she explained that there was a concert planned for the following evening to raise money for the local hospital which treated many wounded soldiers. The concert had been scheduled for months, long before she had any idea that he might be home. While most of the details had been taken care of, there were some final details that she needed to see to.

Matthew had assured her that he would be fine on his own for a few hours. Once he finally convinced her to go see to the final details for the concert, he retired to their room to avoid the commotion down stairs as preparations were well underway for tomorrow's event.

After spending an hour reclining on the bed reading updated estate accounting reports, he heard a knock on the door. "Come in," he responded.

"Your lordship, I was looking for her ladyship. Lady Elizabeth is ready for her nap and her Ladyship likes to be the one to put her to sleep," said the nanny who had Elizabeth in her arms.

"Mary is busy downstairs at the moment," Matthew said, pleased to see that Elizabeth was smiling at him.

"Very well sir. I will be happy to put her to sleep."

"No," Matthew said quickly as he set aside the documents he had been reading. "Leave her with me."

The nanny's face betrayed a mixture of shock and hesitation, but she quickly hid her doubts and handed the baby over to Matthew, letting him know which chord would summon her if he needed anything. He thanked her and watched as she exited the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

"I think we will be just fine, don't you sweetheart," Matthew said to Elizabeth who gurgled happily in his arms. Remembering what Mary had told him about Elizabeth liking to be lifted high in the air, he lighted her up above his head making her laugh at him.

After a quarter hour of playing, Elizabeth yawned and rubbed her face against Matthew's shoulder. Realizing that it was now past the child's nap time, Matthew debated calling for the nanny to put Elizabeth to sleep, but decided against it and in favor of trying himself.

Remembering how well swaying worked last night, he came up with an idea. Settling Elizabeth down on the bed, he walked over to the gramophone sitting on a small table in the corner of the room. "Just a moment sweetheart," Matthew said when Elizabeth began to fuss at being left alone on the bed.

Matthew soon found a recording that suited him and got the music playing just as Elizabeth's cries began to become louder. She quieted as soon as he lifted her into his arms and held her against his chest and began to sway to the music.

"You mother is an excellent dancer," Matthew whispered to the baby. "I am certain you will be too one day. You will be the belle of the ball, and your poor papa will have to deal with every man in the room wanting to dance with you. Luckily for me, that day is far off."

By the second song, Elizabeth's head had come to rest on his shoulder and her eyes had closed. "My beautiful little Lizzie," he whispered, dropping a kiss on the top of her head as he continued to sway to the music.

"Lizzie?" he heard Mary say and he looked up to see her standing in the doorway arching an eyebrow at him.

"How long have you been standing there?" he asked softly so as not to wake the baby.

"A while. I rather liked the sight of you dancing with her. Her first dance actually," Mary said with a smile.

"Really?" Matthew asked, unable to contain his smile at getting to be a part of one of Elizabeth's firsts when he had already missed so many and was bound to miss many more.

"Really," Mary replied, walking toward them. "And although I love seeing you dance with her, I cannot say that I love you calling her Lizzie."

"Why ever not? "

"It is too common. She is an Earl's daughter, and thus she is a Lady," Mary explained.

"She may have the title of Lady, but she is just a baby. You must admit that Lady Elizabeth a mouth full - too big of a name for one so small. Besides, the poor thing won't be able to say her name until she is four."

"I am not calling her that, and I should love to see Granny's face or Carson's face when you do," Mary said, taking the baby from his arms so she could carry her to the nursery.

"Sweet dreams my darling Lizzie," Matthew said, kissing the baby's cheek and then Mary's.

"Come on Elizabeth, mama will put you to bed," Mary responded, hiding a smile.

/

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I decided to dedicate a full chapter to Matthew bonding with Lizzie - or Elizabeth as Mary will continue to call her. The next chapter will be the concert to benefit the hospital and the affect the war is having on Matthew - it can't all be happy and easy for M/M .


	28. Chapter 28

More Than Duty Chapter 28

"Thank you Anna. It looks perfect," Mary said, admiring her hair in the mirror.

"Thank you my lady. I hope his lordship likes it," Anna said with a smile.

"I'm sure he will," Mary said although she knew Matthew preferred her hair down but that was simply not acceptable in public. "You seem happy today," Mary commented when she noted that Anna still had a bright smile on her face.

"I am happy your ladyship."

"Any reason in particular?" Mary inquired as she draped a long necklace around her neck.

"Mr. Bates arrived back today from London," Anna replied.

"Ah," Mary replied. It was patently obvious to anyone with eyes that Anna was in love with Mr. Bates, and Mary suspected he was also in love with her. She had a soft spot for her lady's maid and was willing to indulge her a bit. "Well, I am sure his lordship and I can see to ourselves this evening. Perhaps there is picture showing at the theater in town tonight."

"My lady, I couldn't possibly. What would Mr. Carson say?"

"You let me worry about Mr. Carson. You and Bates can have the evening off," Mary said, standing before her vanity mirror and daubing some perfume behind her ears.

"Thank you, my lady. You are very kind."

"No, I just know what it like to be away from the one you love," Mary replied. "Just don't do anything that could get you into trouble," Mary teased. Seconds later, Matthew entered the bedroom to the sound of Mary and Anna's laughter.

"I do hope you aren't laughing at me," Matthew said.

"Oh course not my lord," Anna replied quickly.

"He was only teasing. Thank you Anna, that will be all. Have a good time tonight," Mary said.

"What was that all about?" Matthew asked when Anna left the room.

"I gave your valet and my maid the night off," Mary responded.

"Hmm," Matthew said as he walked up behind Mary and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Well, I suppose I could be talked into undressing you myself," Matthew said as he kissed her.

Mary smiled at the reflection in the mirror of Matthew behind her, slowly kissing her neck and shoulders. When he began pushing the shoulder of her gown down her arm, she reluctantly tried to move out of his grasp. "I didn't mean right now Matthew. For goodness sake, it is nearly time for dinner. I can't have you making me untidy right now."

"Must we go to dinner? I would much prefer to stay here with you," Matthew said, tightening his grasp around her waist as his lips continued to wander.

"Yes darling we must," she said firmly, refusing to give in no matter how much she wanted to. "We missed dinner last night. If we miss it again tonight, I don't know how we will show our faces tomorrow. Besides, your mother is coming to dinner tonight."

"You are right of course my darling, but you can't blame me for trying when you are so very tempting," Matthew said, placing on last kiss on her bare shoulder.

"Later. I promise," Mary said, as she pulled her sleeve back into place.

When the arrived downstairs, they found that the rest of the family except for Sybil had already gathered. "Mother," Matthew said, walked straight towards Isobel and kissing her cheek.

"Oh my dear boy. It is so wonderful to see you," Isobel replied, smiling as she embraced him.

"It is wonderful to see you as well," Matthew said, reclaiming Mary's hand.

"Good evening Isobel," Mary said warmly.

"Good evening Mary. And how is the little one?" Isobel asked. Before Mary could reply, Matthew jumped in to relate how perfectly wonderful his little Lizzie was. Mary rolled her eyes at his use of the nickname and excused herself to allow Matthew and his mother a few moments alone.

She walked across the room toward her mother, grandmother, and Edith.

"Mary dear, you look lovely," Cora said.

"Thank you Mama. Edith, how are you feeling?" Mary asked. She and Edith had come to a bit of a truce a few weeks before Elizabeth was born, and Mary was trying her best to keep it although there were still times when Edith annoyed her greatly.

"It is much easier this time around since I know what to expect," Edith replied, her hand resting on her stomach. A few months ago, when Edith announced her was expecting again, Mary remember thinking that perhaps Sir Anthony wasn't quite as old as she originally thought. Well, Mary suddenly thought, if old Sir Anthony could get Edith pregnant again on a short leave, perhaps she and Matthew would be just as fortunate, for as wonderful as Elizabeth was, there was still a great need to produce an heir.

"I am glad this pregnancy is easier on you," Mary replied.

"Thank you, although I must confess, chasing after a one year old is becoming somewhat difficult."

"What is a lady doing chasing children anyway?" Granny asked. "You should read quietly too him or perhaps toss him a ball. But chasing? Honestly Edith."

"Robbie doesn't do anything quietly. And since he learned to walk, it is well near impossible to keep him still."

"You mustn't be too active my darling. It is not good in your condition," Cora warned.

"Nonsense," Isobel said as she and Matthew rejoined the group. "Activity is good for a woman who is expecting as long as the activity isn't a dangerous one."

"What kind of new-age nonsense is this? A woman in her condition should be resting not running," Granny objected.

Before Isobel could respond, Sybil entered the room. "I am so sorry I am late," she said as all eyes turned toward her.

"Gloating is unbecoming Sybil," Granny said saw that Sybil was wearing pants she so detested. "So Matthew, I understand Mary welcomed you home properly then?"

"Of course, she was most welcoming. Most welcoming indeed," Matthew said with an easy smile as he wrapped an arm around Mary's waist, unsure exactly why her face had turned so red.

"I am sure she was," Violet replied, surprising a smile as the other women tried to do the same making Mary's face turn even redder.

"I'm sorry, am I missing something?" Matthew asked, terribly confused.

"Apparently not," Edith said, making Sybil burst out laughing.

"That is quite enough. Shall we go into dinner," Mary said in an authoritative voice that did not allow for objections. Matthew offered her his arm and when they were a safe distance from the others, he leaned down and in a whisper asked her what that had been about. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

Despite his pervious desire to skip dinner, Matthew found it quite enjoyable. The food was certainly better than any he had eaten in months and the company most pleasant. He and Mary joined the others for a short time after dinner, but soon excused themselves pleading exhaustion. He doubted anyone believed their excuse, but no one questioned it aloud.

"Unfortunately, we won't be able to get away so early tomorrow night given the concert," Mary said as they made their way up the stairs toward their bedroom. "I am so sorry the concert has to take place during your leave."

"Don't be. I am glad you are doing it. The wounded men need all the support we can offer."

"Yes of course. It also pleased your mother very much that I offered to have it here," Mary said when they reached their room.

"I am very glad," Matthew said as he firmly closed the door behind them. "But let's not speak of my mother any more tonight," he said as he pulled Mary close. "Now, I believe there was a task I promised to assist you with."

"Was there? I cannot think what it would have been?" Mary replied, her voice filled with amusement.

"Well them, perhaps I shall have to remind you," Matthew said, turning her around so he could work the buttons on the back of her gown. As he slowly undid each button, his lips followed his hands, making a trail down her back that made Mary shiver.

"I think I shall need lots of reminding," Mary whispered when her gown fell softly to the floor.

\\\\\\\\\\

The following evening, Matthew sat next to Mary as the concert got underway. "I am so very proud of you my darling. This is a wonderful event you have put together," Matthew whispered, as he lifted her hand to his lips.

"I had lots of help - your mother and my mother, among others," Mary replied.

"Even so. You didn't have to have it here and could have saved yourself a lot of trouble by not doing so."

"I had to have it here. I wanted to do something to help the wounded men you see, because any one of them could be you. God forbid anything happen to you, but if it did, I would want only the best care for you. You once reminded me that all of them have loved ones who feel the same," Mary said softly.

Matthew just squeezed her hand, unable to speak about such possibilities in a public settling.

"What is going on?" Mary asked him softly. He turned and followed her gaze to where two women had stood up and were walking down the aisle between the rows of seats.

"What is it?" William asked when one of the women handed him a white feather.

"A white feather of course, coward," the woman replied in a scornful voice.

"You will stop this immediately," Matthew said, getting quickly to his feet and walking purposefully into the aisle, feeling all the eyes in the room upon him. "How dare you disrupt a event meant to raise money for the hospital to treat wounded men. You should be ashamed of yourselves," he said.

"These people should be aware that there are coward among them," the second woman with the feathers responded.

"Cowards you say? And what have you done for the war effort besides make a spectacle of yourselves which in no way helps the men in uniform? What have you done besides disrupt events such as this which have a direct benefit to our fighting men?" Matthew asked, making no effort to disguise the disgust in his voice.

"Well I…."

"Well you what? Do you raise money for the troops?" He paused and there was only silence. "No? Well, I believe there are openings for nurses and nursing aides in the field hospitals, perhaps you have applied for those positions?" He paused again to silence. "I see. Well until you do something to proactively help the war effort, I suggest you refrain from questioning the actions of others. Now you will kindly leave this house."

"Perhaps you are a coward as well. What action could an Earl have seen? You probably sit behind a desk while sending others to fight" one of the woman thew back at him when Carson appeared to escort them out.

"My husband is no coward," Mary said, rising and joining him in the aisle. "He has fought in the trenches for two years, when he could easily have been reassigned to assigned to safer duty. You know nothing of bravery. This - what you are doing now - it is not brave. Only foolish and spiteful. Now he you nicely to leave, but I will not be so polite. Carson, have these women removed immediately."

"At once, your ladyship," Carson replied, moving immediately to remove the women from the room.

"My apologies for the disruption. Please continue," Mary said, motioning to the band on stage to continue as she and Matthew took their seats.

When the concert ended, Matthew followed Mary to the rows where the wounded soldiers were sitting and followed as she greeted each one, thanking them for their service to the king and country.

"You are lucky to have such a fine wife Lieutenant," a soldier said to Matthew after Mary had just thanked him and moved on the the man next to him.

"Indeed I am Corporal," Matthew said, after assessing the man's rank by his insignia. "What about you? Do you have a wife back home?"

"Not a wife, but I have a sweetheart - or at least I had a sweetheart. I am not sure anymore. I had hopes to marry her, but I don't know what she will think of me now," he replied, gesturing to where his right leg had been amputated at the knee.

"You must have faith in her," Matthew said, hoping to give some comfort to the man who was clearly very worry about the possibility that his sweetheart would desert him.

Matthew continued following in Mary's wake, shaking each man's hand, but his thoughts were back on what the corporal had said. Matthew had to wonder, if he was wounded so grievously, could he have faith in Mary that she would stand by him? And could he really expect her to if he was no longer the man she fell in love with?

Mary glanced back at Matthew and she could tell by his face that something was bothering him. She wasn't sure if it was the actions of those ridiculous women or if it was something more, but she knew she would have to wait until they were alone to ask him.

Two hour later, when the last of the guests had left and they were finally able to retire for the evening, Mathew surprised Mary by following her into their room instead of going first to his dressing room.

"You can go Anna, and tell Bates, I have no need of his assistance tonight either," Matthew said. Mary was a bit shocked by this, but refrained from commenting. Looking at his face, there was something different than she was used to seeing. Usually she saw love and lust, but tonight it looked more like need and desperation.

Matthew barely let the door close before crossing the room in a few strides and pulling her face to his. His hands and lips were insistent and more rough than usual. Soon he was pushing her backwards until her back hit the wall behind her. She was surprised that he moved them here instead of the bed, but she willingly wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to kiss her more deeply.

She could feel the need in kisses and in the look upon his face. Something was clearly causing this desperation she knew he was feeling and if she could help him ease that, she was more than willing to do so.

"Darling, please….I'm sorry I just... I need you so badly," she heard his say as he gave up pushing her gown down her shoulders and began instead to pull the hem at the bottom of her dress upward to her waist.

"It's alright," she assured him, kissing him back as he reached down and brought her legs up one at a time to wrap around his waist.

Mary didn't know how to describe what happened next, it was so different from how they normally were together. Not bad, just different. It fact, it was rather enjoyable aside from the fact that she was a bit distracted by wondering what had brought it on.

"Oh God, Mary, I am so sorry," he said a few minutes later when he lowered her to her her feet, feeling ashamed that he had treated his wife as he had.

"Don't be. It was different and rather exciting," Mary assured him, kissing him softly to be sure that he believed her.

"You don't mind?" he asked in disbelief for this was so far from the sweet and gentle love making that they had previously engaged in.

"Well, I don't think I would want it to be like that every time, but I certainly didn't mind."

"Mary, I hope you know I love you, so terribly much," he said, lifting her into his arms and carrying her to their bed.

"Oh my darling, me too," she replied, cuddling up next to him when he laid down beside her. "Will you tell me what was bothering you tonight?"

"It's nothing," Matthew said hastily.

"It is not nothing. Please tell me," Mary urged.

"Mary, I don't like talking about the war with you - I want to protect you from all that."

"I don't need to be protected. If it effects you, I want to know about it."

He hesitated but decided that he needed to tell her something. "Seeing the wounded men tonight got me thinking."

"Yes, it is very sad, but it is something more than that which is bothering you."

"At the front the the men pray to be spared of course, but if that's not to be, they pray for a bullet that kills them cleanly. For these men today, that prayer wasn't answered."

"Perhaps not, but they get to go home, to continue living," Mary said, brushing the hair from his damp forehead.

"Yes, they get to go home, but many are not the men they were before, their injuries are such that they can't live the life they expected to," Matthew said, holding her tight but staring at the ceiling instead of her.

"So they learn to live a new life," Mary insisted.

"It is not that easy."

"Of course it isn't easy - I never said it was. But they get to keep living," Mary replied. "I pray for you every night that you are gone. I pray first that you are spared, but if that is not to be, I pray that you will still come back to me."

"Mary, you don't know what you are saying," Matthew replied. "I met a Corporal tonight. He lost a leg. His life will never be the same. He will always be stuck in a chair or forced to limp about on crutches for the rest of his life. His whole life was changed in an instant. He doesn't even know if his sweetheart will stand by him."

"Is that what you are worried about? That I wouldn't stand by you?" Mary asked and his silence told her it was, or at least it was in part. She fought the feelings of anger that he would even question her, but then remember him telling her months ago that while he loved her, he still wasn't sure he could trust her. She brought her hands up to his face and pulled gently so he was forced to look into her eyes. "Listen to me Matthew. I lived a year without you, and I hated it. I cannot image a lifetime without you. So you can believe me when I tell you I would love you on any terms."

"Oh Mary, I hope nothing happens that would put you to that test," Matthew said, pulling her closer. He wanted to believe her. It wasn't that he believed she was being untruthful. No in fact, he knew she believed every word she said. But feeling that way now is very different from being faced with the a terrible, life-changing reality if he was to be seriously injured. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved him, but if he were dramatically changed by injury, could she still? God, he hoped and prayed that they were never put to that test.

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you liked this chapter. I wanted to touch on Matthew's fears, both of being injured and how if he was injured it would affect his marriage. He wants to trust that Mary would be there, but he still has lingering doubts. Let me know what you think.


	29. Chapter 29

More Than Duty Chapter 29

_December 13, 1916_

_Dearest Matthew,_

_I must tell you that although you have only been gone a little over a week, I already miss you terribly. What's more, I think Elizabeth does too. I know she is only a baby, but every morning when I bring her into our bed to feed her, she looks at the side of the bed that you should be in and gets this quizzical look on her face. I think she is wondering where the her Papa, who was always so willing in amuse, her has gone._

_Preparations for the Christmas holiday are well underway. While Downton looks beautiful, I cannot help but think of last Christmas when we never left our room. I wish it was possible to repeat that, but I don't think even Granny could pull that off given your recent leave. I shall try to be merry though, and I am certain Elizabeth will be very spoiled. _

_I hope you like your presents darling. I wish I could see your face when you open them. Wishing you a very happy Christmas._

_All my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_December 25, 1916_

_My Darling Mary,_

_Happy Christmas my love. I truly hope that today is a happy one for you despite our separation. I loved the presents you sent. I must have looked at the picture of you and Elizabeth that you sent several dozen times since I opened it this morning. The fine cigars are also much appreciated and quite the luxury here. Ned sends his thanks as well for I have promised him one. His father sent him a bottle of fine brandy which he assures me we will share so we shall have a pleasant night enjoying both gifts._

_Earlier this week, I was sent to our headquarters in Paris for a meeting with General Sir Herbert Strutt. He was the one I was sent to meet with last Christmas as well. It seems he is planning a recruitment drive in the Yorkshire area as well as in Manchester this spring and is considering candidates to accompany him, and he remembered me from last year. It is a long shot my darling, but there is a possibility that he may select me which would bring me back to England for several months. _

_One side benefit of being sent to Paris for a meeting was that I had a few hours free before catching a train back to the front so I was able to purchase Christmas presents for you and Lizzie. I do hope you both like them. I know you will spoil Lizzie for both of us, but you cannot blame me for wanting to spoil her a bit as well. I wish I could be there with you, but I hope and pray it is a happy day for you both. _

_Kiss Lizzie for me and tell her how much her Papa loves her._

_All my love,_

_Matthew_

_/_

_January 8, 1917_

_Dearest Matthew,_

_Happy New Year darling! Let us hope that this year will bring an end to this dreadful war. _

_The gifts you sent were wonderful. The necklace is beautiful, and I think of you every time I put it on. While I am very pleased with my gift, I think Elizabeth is even more pleased with the doll you sent her. Although she spends much of her time attempting to eat the poor doll's face, she hasn't done any damage, and whats more, she refuses to go to bed without the doll now. So know that you have made her very happy with the gift. _

_Speaking of Elizabeth, I am pleased to report that she can sit up on her own now. Her new favorite game is to sit and have someone roll a ball to her. She gets so excited when the ball gets to her that she squeals with excitement every time before throwing the ball back to you. I know balls are usually toys for boys, and originally I had bought one for Robbie as his Christmas gift, but Elizabeth was so enamored with it that I had to buy one for her too._

_I cannot tell you how pleased I would be if you were selected by General Strutt to accompany him back to England. A few months might not be that long, but given the small amount of time we have been able to spend together, it would delightful indeed. I know you do not want me to get my hopes up and I shall try hard not to, but I must admit that I will be praying for this every night._

_Did you know that Thomas, our old footman, is back in the area after being invalided out due to an injury to his hand? Poor man, I am told the injury looks quite gruesome. While I have never been particularly fond of Thomas, he was injured in service of the country. I have been urged to intercede on his behalf and help secure him a position at the local hospital, and I think I shall. I hope that you approve. Sybil supports it and given the amount of time she spends nursing at the hospital, I think it only fair that we consider her opinion._

_All my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_January 21, 1917_

_My Darling Mary,_

_I must admit that while I too am trying to not get my hopes up for an extended tour of duty in England, it is very difficult not to. I fear though that I should warn you that even if I am selected, I would not be able to be at Downton most of the time. That being said, you can be certain that I will try to be there as often as I can. Sadly, I have no news to report on that front._

_Certainly you can recommend Thomas for the hospital if you like, and do so with my blessing. You must do whatever you think best. It is strange, I saw him just days after I returned from my last leave. He must have been injured short there after. _

_I am so glad you liked the necklace. Shall I confess that I have repeatedly had a most inappropriate thought about you wearing the necklace for me - only the necklace. It is a good thing I shall be hundreds of miles away when you read that, but as inappropriate as it is to mention, I must tell you that it is thoughts of you that get me through the worst days here. It is so cold right now, that I can see my breath even in doors. When I am shivering and miserable, thoughts of you warm me and make me smile. _

_I am very pleased that Lizzie liked her doll, and that she was properly spoiled for her first Christmas. While I hope that you are showing her my picture and speaking of me often to her, it makes me terribly sad to know that I shall be a stranger to her when next I see her._

_Forgive me if this is indelicate, but are there any signs that Lizzie might soon have a sister or brother? I know I probably shouldn't ask, but I have spent hours mulling over the possibility and hoping that we might be so blessed. _

_Your loving and lonely husband,_

_Matthew_

_/_

_February 7, 1917_

_Darling Matthew,_

_I wish I could tell you that Elizabeth will soon have a brother or sister, but sadly that is not the case. I can say for certain that I am not with child despite my fervent desire to be so. _

_I am doing my best not to be jealous of Edith, but it is difficult as she was delivered of a second son yesterday. She has named this one Henry. It doesn't seem fair that Edith, who doesn't need to have a boy to protect Sir Anthony's estate, should be blessed with two sons, while we need a son and yet do not have one. Please don't think I am unhappy with Elizabeth, because I am not. She is wonderful and so very dear to me, but I long to have the entail issue settled. _

_I know I shouldn't give into these feelings of jealousy, not when I get the joy of seeing Elizabeth every day and you are being deprive of that pleasure. You must know that I speak of you every day to her - so often that I sometimes think that her first word will be Papa not Mama. _

_I did intercede on Thomas's behalf and he is now working at the hospital with Sybil. She claims that he is good worker and very caring toward the injured soldiers which I find surprising given some of the whispers I have heard about his behavior when he was here. _

_I must say, you write some shocking things. I don't know how to respond except to reiterate that I love the necklace and would not object to wearing it under any circumstances. _

_All my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_February 19, 1917_

_My Darling Mary,_

_Please give Edith my congratulations. My darling, you must be happy for your sister. I know it is hard when you so dearly want a son, but hopefully we shall have our own soon. In fact, I had a telegram just this morning from General Strutt saying I am one of the three candidates he is considering for the recruitment drive and that he expects to make his decision regarding the recruitment drive within a month because he intends to be back in England by early April. Just think my love, it is quite possible that within six weeks we will have another opportunity to try to make another baby. _

_I am glad you spoke on Thomas's behalf. He may not have been your favorite and perhaps in the past he did or said things which were not appropriate, but darling war has a way of changing people and everyone deserves a second chance. So I am so very pleased hand proud hat you gave him that second chance. _

_Thank you for the newest picture you sent of Lizzie. I cannot believe this one was only taken two months or so after the last one you sent. She is growing so very fast. I wish I was there to see it, but I am so happy to have this new picture. I know I have said it before, but she is beautiful. Only you could rival her my dear. _

_Love,_

_Matthew_

_/_

_March 2, 1917_

_Dearest Matthew,_

_I am so glad you liked the photo. The photographer acted like he thought I was mad having him out to the house to photograph her again so soon. Honestly, I am considering buying one of those Browning cameras next time I am in London. Edith bought one and said they easy to work. Then I could send you a photograph in every letter. What do you think darling? The quality might not be as good as when the professional photographer takes the picture, but you would be able to see her so much more often. _

_Elizabeth just started crawling. She is always on the move no and has no liking for sitting still. She gets into absolutely everything she can reach. Yesterday, I looked away for only a minute to greet your mother who had arrived for tea and when I turned around, Elizabeth had crawled over to the fireplace and was playing in the soot! What a mess she was, but she was having such a good time that it was hard to decide whether to laugh or scold her. I fear was a very bad mother for I indulged her and let her play for a few more minutes. Poor Granny was appalled when I sent Anna to fetch a mirror so I could show Elizabeth how she looked with her face covered in black soot, but it was worth it to see Elizabeth fell into a fit of giggles at seeing herself so. I think your mother approved though. She even got down on the floor with Elizabeth and I and wasn't upset at all when Elizabeth put her soot covered hands on Isobel's white dress. _

_I cannot believe we will know soon whether you will be home for the recruitment drive. I pray every night that it will be so. _

_Your loving wife who is hoping to see you very soon,_

_Mary_

_/_

_March 18, 1917_

_My Darling Mary,_

_Our hopes have come true! I was just informed that I am to join the General on his recruitment drive. Moreover, I will be given a promotion so I will now be Captain Crawley. We are to leave sometime within the next two weeks or so. I cannot tell you exactly when I will arrive at Downton, but no matter, for I find I rather like surprising you. _

_You asked what I thought of your idea of purchasing a camera. Not only do I approve, I absolutely insist. It would be so much to be to at least be able to watch Lizzie grow in pictures. I am so very happy that you thought of the idea. _

_I loved hearing about Lizzie's adventure in the fireplace. It makes me laugh every time I think about it. I must tell you my love, you are not a bad mother at all to indulge her so. I love that you are so playful with her and not one of those mothers that only visits her children for a few minutes a day. I don't think you need have any fear that her first word will be anything but Mama._

_I am more eager to see you than I can say, and I must tell you that I fully intend to see that you keep your promise about wearing wearing the necklace under any circumstances. _

_With all my love,_

_Matthew_

_/_

Author's Note: I hope you liked the letters. I thought this was the best way to move the story forward until his next leave. I did a little research and found that Kodak Browning cameras were the first mass produced camera sold to consumers as early as 1900 so I thought it possible that Mary might choose to buy one to give Matthew a way to see their daughter grow while he is away.

Next up: Matthew is back for an extended stretch on the recruitment drive.


	30. Chapter 30

More Than Duty Chapter 30

Late April 1917

"Apologies for disturbing you, my lady," Carson said as he entered the sitting room where Mary was having tea with Cora, Violet, and Isobel.

"Yes Carson?" Mary asked.

"His Lordship just telephoned from the train station in London. He will be arriving on the five o'clock train and would like Branson to meet him at the station, along your ladyship and Lady Elizabeth if it please you," Carson said fighting a smile that would reveal how pleased he was to deliver such happy news. The words were barely out of his mouth when he was rewarded with a huge smile from Mary.

"Of course it pleases me to meet him. Please be sure that Branson is ready to leave by half past four," Mary said. Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was just past two which indicated that Elizabeth would still be napping for another half hour or so. "Please tell nanny to have Elizabeth's nicest dress pressed immediately, but not to dress her in it until just before we leave so Elizabeth doesn't have a chance to wrinkle or dirty it. And send Anna to me right away."

"Right away my lady," Carson said before withdrawing to ensure that Mary's orders were carried out promptly.

"What good news!" Isobel exclaimed.

"Indeed, the very best of news," Mary agreed quickly.

"I think I shall take my dinner at Dower House tonight. Cora, you and Sybil are most welcome to join me for I think we shall be as welcome here as a skunk at a garden party," Violet said.

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you are welcome," Mary said, feeling her face warming.

"No, my dear. You are young and in love. It is understandable that you will want to welcome your husband privately and our presence would only serve to torment you both with delay," Violet said.

"Let us give you this gift of privacy Mary. After the separation you and Matthew have had to endure, you deserve that - at least for a night," Cora added.

"I should be going too, but please tell Matthew I will be along tomorrow," Isobel added.

"Of course. I am certain he will want to see you," Mary replied.

Anna arrived just as Mary had bid her guests goodbye and Cora had returned to her room.

"You wished to see me, my lady?" Anna said.

"Yes Anna. His lordship will be here in only a few hours, so we haven't much time," Mary said before she began instructing Anna on what needed to be done.

A few short hours later, Mary found herself standing on the train platform balancing a squirming Elizabeth on her hip as she anxiously awaited Matthew's arrival. "No, Elizabeth, you mustn't pull Mama's hair," Mary scolded as Elizabeth tried to pull Mary's hair loose. "Anna, do you have her doll?" Mary asked her maid who stood behind them. As soon as Anna pulled the doll from her bag, Elizabeth ceased attempting to grab Mary's hair in favor of grabbing her well loved doll.

"Now look darling, it is your Papa's train," Mary said a few minutes later as the train pulled into the station and came to a stop. Elizabeth though had no understanding of her mother's words and continued to play happily with her doll. Mary could feel her heart speed up as the door to the first class compartment opened, but she forced herself to remain calm, reminding herself silently that she was in a very public setting.

When Matthew stepped from the train, his eyes searched the crowd for only a few seconds before locking eyes with Mary. Mary barely had time to hand Elizabeth off to Anna before Matthew was standing before her and pulling her into his arms. "Oh Matthew," she sighed in relief, lightly kissing his cheek as he held her impossibly close.

Matthew pulled back to look into her face. "Is that how you greet a returning soldier? I rather thought I had earned a proper kiss," he said.

Mary smiled at him as she leaned in to bring her lips to his, reminding herself to keep the kiss light and chaste as they were in a public place where everyone would recognize them. She let her lips linger for only a second or two before pulling back. "Welcome home darling," Mary said.

"That was a little less proper than I had been thinking," Matthew said, attempting to lean in to kiss her again, but his plan was thwarted when Mary stepped back.

"Matthew, that was all that could be considered proper in a place such as this," Mary said, bringing her hand up to touch his face. When she saw disappointment on Matthew's face, Mary leaned in again and kissed his cheek, very close to his ear. "Later darling, I will welcome you as properly as you wish, I assure you," she whispered so softly that only he could hear.

Matthew hid his disappointment that Mary was not willing to set propriety aside to greet him as he would have wished, but he tried to understand her need to respect propriety. He tried to tell himself that her refusal did not mean she was not longing for him in the very same way he longed for her. "I shall keep you to that," he whispered back, dropping a quick kiss on her forehead before taking a step back to put some distance between them lest he given into his urge to kiss her soundly, risk her anger, and let propriety be damned.

"Come greet Elizabeth," Mary said, as she turned and took Elizabeth from Anna's arms.

"Well, hello my little darling," Matthew said as he reached a tentative hand out to stroke Elizabeth curly blond hair. Elizabeth regarded him seriously for a moment, but while she showed no remembrance of him, neither though did she appear frightened of him.

"Elizabeth, this is your Papa," Mary said gently. She knew Elizabeth wouldn't understand what that meant, but she hoped that the word "Papa" might strike a chord with her for Mary showed her Matthew's picture daily while telling Elizabeth how much her Papa loved her.

When Elizabeth smiled at him, Matthew couldn't help but lean in to kiss her as well. When Matthew's lips touched Elizabeth's cheek, she reached out and grabbed his hair, squealing in delight at her success. Matthew was shocked by her action and the strength of her grip.

"Goodness, she is strong," Matthew said as Elizabeth continued to happily pull on his hair.

"Elizabeth, you are not to pull hair," Mary said sternly as she removed the child's hands from Matthew's hair. Matthew just laughed and kissed her other cheek as Mary carefully ensured that Elizabeth did not grab his hair again.

When they arrived at the car, Anna joined Branson in the front seat. Mary attempted to settle Elizabeth on her lap, but Elizabeth would have none of it and was refusing to sit still. "She hates to sit still, which is why she is rarely permitted to go anywhere in the car," Mary explained as she tried in vain to get Elizabeth to settle down and be still. Matthew was being no help at all. He was making faces at the little girl, making her laugh and reach out for him. Grabbing onto Matthews sleeve, Elizabeth pulled hard, trying to escape her mother's grasp.

Laughing, Matthew took Lizzie from Mary and sat her on his lap. Elizabeth had no intention of sitting though. Grabbing Matthew's shirt for leverage, she pulled herself to her feet as she clung tight for balance.

"Did you see that? She pulled herself up," Matthew said in amazement.

"Yes, she has been doing that for several weeks now. Put your hands behind her back to make sure she doesn't fall. She is very good at pulling herself up, but her balance has yet to be perfected so she sometimes falls over," Mary explained.

"Does she walk?" Matthew asked.

"No, not really anyway. She can walk, albeit very unsteadily, if you hold both of her hands or if she is holding onto something like a table, but the second she lets go, she falls right over," Mary replied.

"Perhaps she will learn while I am here," Matthew said hopefully. Mary recognized the unspoken desire of Matthew's to be present for at least a few milestones in Elizabeth's young life and silently hoped that Elizabeth would indeed learn to walk while Matthew was home to see it.

"Would you like to see what else she has learned?" Mary asked with a smile.

"Of course."

"Elizabeth," Mary said to get the baby's attention. When Elizabeth turned to look at Mary, Mary moved her face close to Elizabeth and pointed to her cheek. "Elizabeth, give Mama a kiss," Mary said. Elizabeth quickly pressed her open mouth against Mary's waiting cheek and then smiled in delight when Mary clapped for her. "What about Papa? Can you give Papa a kiss?" Mary asked as she pointed to Matthew's cheek. Elizabeth quickly pressed her open mouth against Matthew's cheek as Mary clapped and praised her.

"Her kisses are a bit wet, but I haven't yet been able to get her to kiss with her mouth closed," Mary explained.

"It was perfect," Matthew replied, very pleased that Elizabeth had given him a kiss, even if she had slobbered on his cheek. "What about you Mary? Will you kiss me now?" Matthew asked, looking at her with longing in his eyes.

"You know I want to," Mary said softly as she caressed his cheek. "But Anna and Branson are here."

Matthew sighed at her response, thinking again how he wished Mary would give herself free rein to express her feelings every once in a while even if others were present. They hadn't seen each other for months and moreover he was returning from war, but Mary was still standoffish in public, even when only a couple trusted servants were present. He couldn't understand it and wondered how many other wives behaved in such a fashion when their husbands returned from the front. He knew he shouldn't dwell on it, but it did bother him.

"I wish I could have arrived a bit earlier. As it is, we will have very little time alone before dinner," Matthew complained.

"Well, as it happens, you needn't worry about dinner," Mary said.

"What do you mean?"

"It seems Granny thought we would like some time alone, so she arranged for us be on our own tonight. As soon as Elizabeth goes to sleep, it will be just you and I for the whole evening."

"I cannot think of a better way to spend the evening my darling," Matthew replied.

"Nor can I," Mary admitted.

When they arrived home, Matthew carried Elizabeth inside. "Anna, will you take Lizzie to her nursery? Mary and I will be be there momentarily," he said, handing the baby off to the maid. Mary looked at Matthew in confusion but did not contradict him. Instead she followed him as he walked into the library.

"Close the doors," Matthew requested.

"Why?" Mary asked, although she did as he asked and locked the door as well.

"Because I need to kiss you. Very badly," Matthew said before crushing his lips against hers. Mary didn't object and instead wrapped her arms around his neck as she sought to pull him closer. Matthew wrapped an arm around Mary's waist and the other around her shoulders, bringing her flush against him as they kissed deeply. Without breaking apart, he began backing them toward the sofa. When Mary's knees bumped into the sofa, Matthew gently eased her down onto it before moving on top of her.

When he brought Mary into the library, Matthew had only intended to kiss her, but his body had since developed other ideas. Soon his body was moving against hers, creating the most delicious friction despite layers of clothing between them.

"Oh God Mary," he groaned. "You must stop me now if you don't want to continue this here."

"The door is locked, and I don't want to stop," Mary replied, kissing him again as she arched into him. Her movement made Matthew moan loudly as he reached for the hem of her skirt.

"Sssshhh, darling you must be quiet. We wouldn't want anyone to hear," Mary reproached him gently, bringing her mouth back to his to silence him.

Later, when their passion had been sated, the walked together to the nursery where they played together with their daughter. Elizabeth was thrilled with all the attention and took easily to Matthew who was more than willing to play anything she liked. He was helping her walk around the room when the nanny entered with Elizabeth's dinner.

"Can I feed her?" Matthew eagerly asked Mary as Elizabeth was strapped into a little chair.

"If you like," Mary answered. "But I warn you, she does not have the best table manners."

Matthew sat down opposite Elizabeth and set the plate of food on the table in front of her. Mary opened her mouth to warn Matthew to pick up the plate, but before she could, Elizabeth had already put her hands right into the food. When Elizabeth brought her handful of mushy peas up to her mouth, Matthew had to laugh as she got more green goo on her face than in her mouth.

"You have to hold the plate away from her or she does that every time," Mary said, taking the plate away

"Well, she is already a mess, so we might as well let he have her fun," Matthew said, putting the plate back down causing the baby to grin and repeat her messy actions. Elizabeth happily continued until her plate was empty. When she had finished, Matthew leaned down to open the strap holding her to the seat. As he was doing so, Lizzie reached her messy hands up and grabbed his hair. Mary couldn't hold back her laughter at the sight of Matthew's perfect blond hair streaked green with mushy peas.

"I suppose I should have wiped her hands first," Matthew said calmly.

"Oh darling, why don't you go take a bath while I put her down," Mary suggested.

"Very well," Matthew said agreeably. "Lizzie, can you give Papa a kiss sweetheart?" Matthew as he leaned in to be within her reach.

"Oh Matthew, she will get you even messier," Mary said.

"What does it matter? I am already going to have to take a bath. How about that kiss Lizzie," Matthew said pointing to his cheek. Elizabeth smiled and kissed his cheek, leaving a green smudge there.

"Good night sweetheart. Papa loves you," Matthew said as he kissed Elizabeth. "Don't be too long darling," he said to Mary before leaving to bathe.

"You are very lucky to have him for your Papa. I don't know any other man who would spend hours playing with a baby and then not mind at all when he get peas rubbed in his hair," Mary said as she wiped Elizabeth's face and hands clean.

Mary spent the next quarter hour putting Elizabeth to bed. When Mary returned to her room, she found that Matthew had not yet finished bathing. Instead of ringing for Anna, Mary quickly undressed and donned a silk robe. She then undid her hair and bushed it until it was smooth and silky. After checking her appearance in the mirror, she added one last touch - the necklace Matthew had sent her for Christmas.

Gathering her courage, she walked to the bathroom. Mary opened the door to the bathroom causing Matthew to look up from his spot in the bathtub in time to see her close and lock the door.

"Hello darling," he said, his voice low and husky.

"Do you mind if I join you," Mary said, playing with the tie of her robe.

"I wish you would," Matthew replied.

Mary smiled in reply, pulling the tie loose and letting her robe fall to the floor. As she stepped into the tub and into his waiting arms, the last coherent thought she had was that she hoped tonight they would create the heir she so longed for.

TBC

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Matthew will be home on leave for at least the next few chapters, and Mary is eager to become pregnant again to secure the inheritance issue.


	31. Chapter 31

More Than Duty Chapter 31

Late May 1917

Mary awoke slowly when the sun began peaking through the curtains . The warmth of Matthew's skin under her cheek and the steady rise and fall of his chest brought a languid smile to her lips as she regained consciousness. She had almost gotten used to the pleasure of waking up with him. Although his duty kept him away most days and even a couple nights a week, he was able to be home more nights than he was away, a luxury considering they had spent many more nights apart during their marriage than they had together.

If she had ever wondered if their desire for one another would fade when they had a chance to be together for an extended period of time, she now knew definitively that it would not. Her desire for him was a constant presence, although she managed to behave properly whenever they were not alone and behind closed, locked doors.

Her happiness this particular morning was influenced greatly by her suspicion that their shared passion had resulted in pregnancy. Oh she couldn't be sure - not yet. It had only been a week since her cycle should have arrived, but with each day that passed without its appearance, her hopes grew. She wanted a baby so very badly, but more than that, she knew she would never truly feel secure without an heir. Without an heir, if something should happen to Matthew, Mary knew she would lose everything - her happiness, her home, her fortune, her position, and her future.

But now, Mary thought with a smile, the heir might already be growing inside her. A son would bring security, but also more love and happiness into their family. Mary dearly loved her daughter and knew Matthew did as well, and she knew that another child would bring great happiness to them both. She couldn't contain the smile that tugged at her lips every time she considered that she might soon have the son she so longed for.

"You look like the cat who got the cream, my darling," Matthew said when he opened his eyes to see her staring up at the ceiling wearing a very wide smile.

"Do I?" Mary asked, not yet ready to tell him why she was so happy - not until she was sure.

"Indeed you do," Matthew replied, kissing her lightly upon the lips.

"Well, I get to wake up with my handsome husband. I suppose that is better than cream," Mary responded, returning his kiss as she stroked his chest. Their kisses were unhurried, both simply enjoying one another. Although Matthew seemed content with mere kisses, Mary wanted more and knew it wouldn't take much to convince Matthew that he wanted more too. She let her hand drift down his chest to his stomach which he quickly responded to.

"Mmm, that feels nice," Matthew encouraged as Mary's hands moved tantalizingly lower.

"Only nice?" Mary teased as she stilled her hand.

"Wonderful, perfect, amazing," he offered instead, smiling when her hand began to move downward again.

"That's better," she replied, finally touching him where she knew he was longing for her to. He groaned in pleasure and allowed himself to bask in the enjoyment of her touch for several moments.

"Oh God, darling, come here," he muttered, pulling on her arm to bring her back up to him. Mary complied, kissing a trail upward toward his lips before he rolled them over so he could do his own exploration of her body before leisurely making love to her.

Afterward, Mary laid with her head on his chest as he stroked her hair. Holding her close, he thought how amazing it was that she had come to love him. "Do you know a small part of me was worried that you would soon tire of me and of this, if we had more than a few days together - that you'd soon grow bored and go off me?" Matthew quietly confessed.

Mary propped her head up on his chest, looking into his eyes that revealed his deep seated fear which he had given voice to. "You should have more faith."

"Is that so?" Matthew ask, reaching down to brush a lock of hair away from her face.

"It is," Mary said simply. "I know I have often told you to learn to forget what I say, but no matter what happens, you remember this - that I love you."

"And you must know that I will love you until I draw my last breath."

"Let us not talk of dying," Mary said quickly, that subject was too touchy for her and she knew it would remain so until this retched war was over.

"Very well, but remember this my love, if anything should happen, know that my last thought this side of the grave will be of you."

"Just make sure that last thought is many, many years from now," Mary said, kissing him softly.

A knock at the door brought them back to reality. Mary kissed Matthew one last time before donning her robe and walking to the door as Matthew sat up in bed. When Mary opened the door, the nanny passed Elizabeth to her.

"Do you have a kiss for Mama?" Mary asked Elizabeth when they rejoined Matthew in bed.

"Ma Ma!" Elizabeth exclaimed before planting a wet kiss on Mary's cheek.

"Did you say Mama my darling?" Mary asked.

"Ma Ma!" Elizabeth exclaimed again to Mary's delight.

"What a smart girl you are!" Mary said, kissing both of Elizabeth's soft, chubby cheeks.

"I told you that you needn't fear her first word would be anything other than Mama," Matthew said as he watched his two favorite girls with an indulgent smile. Hearing his voice, Elizabeth turned to look at Matthew and grinned at him. She quickly wiggled free of her mother's arms and crawled over to Matthew who happily lifted her up high in the air as she kicked her legs as she giggled.

"I would wager that Papa will soon be her second," Mary responded.

"Do you think so?" Matthew asked hopefully.

"I am certain of it. She prefers you above all others," Mary assured him.

"So what are you wagering? What do you get if you are right?" Matthew asked playfully.

"Hmm, well if I am right, then that night we get to do anything I want," Mary said softly.

"And if you are wrong?"

"I am never wrong," Mary replied with a smile, but then leaned in and added "But if I am and she says something else next, then I will do anything you want that night."

"Anything? Even that thing you did last week?"

"Anything," she promised with a kiss. "But it doesn't matter because I won't be wrong."

"We'll see about that. Lizzie, can you say "baby" sweetheart?" Matthew asked.

"Stop it! You're cheating!" Mary accused as she playfully slapped his arm. "Elizabeth, can you say "Papa"?"

"Mama Mama," Lizzie said and then clapped for herself, making both her parents laugh.

"I'm sorry darling, but I must get ready. I need to catch the 10AM train to Manchester," Matthew said as he climbed out of bed and donned his robe.

"How long will you be gone this time?" Mary asked.

"Three days. Maybe four. I will be back by Friday night at the latest."

An hour later, Mary stood at the front door to bid Matthew goodbye. "Hurry home," Mary said when he kissed her cheek to bid her farewell.

"Oh as soon as I am able," he assured her, taking Elizabeth from her arms. "Now Lizzie, can you say "bye bye" to Papa," Matthew prompted the little girl, but she just smiled at him and made incomprehensible chatter. "Say 'bye bye'"

"Matthew!" Mary warned, but he could see that she was smiling.

"You can't blame me for trying, not when you gave me such an incentive," he said with a roguish grin as he passed Elizabeth back to her.

\\

Four days later, Mary was sitting on the floor of the nursery helping Elizabeth make a tower out of blocks. "Can you say 'Papa'?" Mary asked again.

"Mama," Elizabeth replied, pointing at Mary.

"Yes, I know I am Mama. Can you say 'Papa'?" Mary asked patiently.

"Mama!"

"You are very good with her," Mary heard, causing her to look up and see Sybil standing in the doorway. When Mary smiled in greeting, Sybil entered the room and sat in the window seat near where Mary was sitting by Elizabeth. "I think it is sweet that you are trying to teach her to say Papa. Matthew will be so pleased."

"I think he would be more pleased if Papa is her third word, but I am determined that it will be her second," Mary commented.

"What?" Sybil asked in confusion.

"Nothing, just a silly wager," Mary replied. The blush on Mary's cheeks intrigued Sybil but she decided not to press her sister. Elizabeth crawled over to Mary, grabbing hold of her mother's dress to pull herself to her feet. "Yes darling, I see you too," Mary said, dropping a kiss on the child's head.

"I am so glad to see you happy. You smile so much more now," Sybil said.

"It's funny. I never thought to have a daughter - at least not first, but now I couldn't imagine life without her," Mary said. "But of course, I hope she has a brother soon."

"I am sure she will," Sybil replied.

"I am getting more sure every day," Mary admitted.

"Mary do you mean….are you pregnant?" Sybil asked.

"I think I might be," Mary confessed, wanting to share her secret with someone. It had been fourteen days since her cycle was due, fourteen days in which her happiness and hope grew every day. "But you mustn't say anything. I don't want Matthew to know until I am sure."

"Of course I won't say anything, but I am very happy for you," Sybil said. "Mary, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"We lost a patient at the hospital last night. A young man who had lost his sight," Sybil said.

"How terrible," Mary replied.

"Yes, it was, but even more tragic because it was preventable. You see he was doing so well, so very well. Thomas and I were helping him learn to cope with his new life, but then he was told he was to be sent away so the hospital could make room for more newly wounded."

"But the newly wounded must be seen to."

"Of course they must, but healing isn't easy. When he was told he would be sent away, he took his own life."

"How horrible! But what could have been done to prevent it?" Mary asked.

"They need a place where they can rest and heal, where they can learn to adjust to a new kind of life after such serious injuries," Sybil said.

"I agree, but what can we do? Raise money for such a place?"

"I think the place already exists," Sybil said, looking meaningfully at her sister.

"Are you suggesting Downton?"

"It would be perfect. Plenty of space, all the modern comforts, a staff to help see to their needs. Don't you see how much good we could do?"

"Yes, I can see that, but it would be quite the change for everyone here. Moreover, I would have to talk to Matthew," Mary replied.

"Of course, but just think, if one of those wounded men were Matthew, what kind of care would you want for him?"

"The very best of course," Mary said quickly and firmly.

"Don't they all deserve that?"

"They do, but as I said, I need to speak with Matthew," Mary replied. Sybil grinned and kissed her sister's cheek. "What was that for?" Mary asked.

"Because you agreed and I know Matthew will too," Sybil said with certainty.

The sisters were still chatting when Anna entered several minutes later. "Your ladyship, I am sorry to disturb you, but his lordship has returned and is waiting out on the lawn. He asked that I have you and Lady Elizabeth join him."

Intrigued, Mary picked up Elizabeth and headed downstairs to meet Matthew. "Papa is home darling. Can you say 'Papa'?"

"Mama!"

"I think you may prove just a stubborn as your Mama," Mary said with a laugh as Elizabeth shouted "Mama" again.

When she reached the door, Carson opened it for her to reveal Matthew waiting for her on the grass with his back to them. When Mary was a few feet away, Matthew turned his head back toward her and asked her to set Elizabeth on the ground.

"On the ground? Why?"

"Just trust me," he said with a smile. Mary relented and set Elizabeth down on the grass. Matthew turned around and knelt before the child when Mary noticed the small puppy in his hands. Elizabeth noticed it at the same time and because to jabber incoherently in her excitement when Matthew set the puppy before her. The puppy began to run laps around the little girl who could not control her excitement.

"Are you sure it is safe? What if it bites her?" Mary asked, resisting the urge to pick Elizabeth up only because the child was so clearly happy.

"Perfectly safe. I was assured it was the least aggressive puppy they had ever seen. The breeder even had a young child that pulled the pup's tail constantly but the pup never reacted."

Elizabeth squealed with joy as she crawled after the puppy trying to catch it. Matthew leaned down and scooped up the puppy before kneeling in front of Lizzie, holding the dog so she could pet it.

"You must be gentle Lizzie," Matthew said, taking her hand and showing her how to softly pet the puppy. "Do you like your new puppy?" Her shout of joy assured him that she did. "Can you say "pup'? Pup," he prompted.

"Pu pu pup" Lizzie said, clapping for herself as Matthew gave Mary a triumphant look.

"You cheated!" Mary exclaimed.

"I did not such thing. I only wanted to give our daughter a present," Matthew protested, but his grin gave him away.

"Pup pup pup," Lizzie chanted happily as she tried to take the puppy from Matthew's hands.

"Sit down sweetheart, and Papa will give you the puppy," Matthew said as he helped her sit down. Sitting the puppy on her lap, he kissed the top of her head. "Tomorrow we will work on saying 'Papa."

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you liked this chapter. Next up, will Mary be pregnant or is she in for disappointment, Sir Antony is home on leave, and Elizabeth's first birthday. Let me know what you think :)


	32. Chapter 32

More Than Duty Chapter 32

BEEP BEEP BEEP

With a groan, Matthew rolled to his side and reached out his arm to turn off the alarm clock.

"I hate that thing," Mary muttered, waking from both the noise and being jostled by Matthew's sudden movement. She was fairly certain that this alarm clock was the most annoying of all modern inventions. Who on Earth wanted to be awakened in such a jarring fashion? "I don't see why you have that wretched thing when there are plenty of servants who could wake you in a more civilized manner."

"It is so early, it would be unfair to rouse them unnecessarily," Matthew replied.

"What time is it?" Mary asked.

"Just before five. I must catch the six o'clock train to York," Matthew said, slipping from the bed.

"How can you wake up so early?"

"When the choice is between coming home to you more often even if I have to wake up early the following morning to return to my duty or not returning to see you and gettin more sleep, the choice is a very easy one my darling."

"Will you be back tonight," Mary asked as she turned onto her side.

"No, not tonight. There is a dinner I must attend this evening and an early morning event tomorrow so it isn't possible."

"Sir Anthony is arriving home on leave today, so he and Edith will be joining us for dinner tomorrow night," Mary reminded him.

"I shall try my best to be back tomorrow evening, but as you know, the situation is beyond my control," Matthew said. "Now kiss me good bye and go back to sleep. It is much too early for you to be awake."

That afternoon, Mary walked the grounds with Sybil while Elizabeth took her daily nap.

"I called Dr. Clarkson this morning to tell him to start the process of turning Downton into a convalescence home," Mary said.

"I am so glad Matthew agreed. I knew he would, but I am so very glad of it," Sybil said.

"He actually left the decision to me," Mary said. "Oh he supported the idea of course, but he said since he was so rarely here that it was unfair for him to make the decision when I would be the one to feel the daily effects of it."

"Well then, I am very grateful to you. It will do so much good for these men."

"Well, there wasn't much of a choice after you asked me what I would want for Matthew. I just hope I am making the right decision for Elizabeth. It will be a very odd environment for her to grow up in, but I keep reminding myself that this war cannot last that much longer so with any luck she shall barely remember it."

"I hope you are right about the war not lasting much longer, but I think it is good for Elizabeth to grow up seeing her family care for others. When she grows up, she will be so proud of you for doing this."

"I just worry about having so many strange men about the house. It will be so much different than how we grew up, so much less tranquil."

"The world is a different place than the one we grew up in, and even when the war is over, I cannot see how it can go back to the way it was."

"Don't you long for the way things were?" Mary asked.

"No, I truly don't. I feel useful for the first time ever. I have a purpose. I don't think I could ever go back to just paying calls and attending dances," Sybil said firmly. "How long do you think it will take to have the the house set up as a convalescence home?"

"Dr. Clarkson thought it would happen very quickly. Perhaps a few weeks, but no later than the beginning of July," Mary responded.

"That's wonderful!"

"Yes, but I have told him that we must have at least a few rooms - the small library, a sitting room, and the dinning room along with the day nursery of course - set aside for the family's exclusive use. If I am expecting, I will need a quiet place to rest from time to time."

"Of course. Have you told Matthew yet?"

"No, not yet. My cycle was due just over two weeks ago, and while it has still failed to appear, that isn't enough time to know for certain."

"Sir Anthony is arriving home today for leave so I expect it won't be long before we hear Edith is expecting again," Sybil said with a grin.

"Sybil! Mama would be appalled to hear you say such things," Mary chided.

"But you aren't," Sybil replied.

"You are entirely too knowing for one not yet married," Mary said. "But no, I am not appalled. I think the war has made everyone grow up quickly."

"I am glad you are both happy with your husbands. All too often women are not so lucky."

"Indeed, I count myself very lucky to have found love in my marriage. While I confess to not seeing the appeal of Sir Anthony, I think Edith truly does love him. And what about you? Has someone caught your eye?"

"No," Sybil said too quickly, causing Mary to lift an eyebrow in question. "Well maybe, I mean I am not at all certain."

"Who is it? A solider at the hospital? Someone from your season?" Mary asked.

"I don't wish to talk about it. I am certainly not ready to talk about him - not that there is a him."

"Very well, but just remember to be careful. Wartime romances can move too fast and only later, when it is too late, do the pair find that they are not well suited."

"I won't do anything. I am not that foolish," Sybil assured her.

"Alright darling, but if you ever want to talk, I am here," Mary said. "Now you will be coming to dinner tomorrow won't you? It is the first time all of us including Matthew and Sir Anthony will be together since before this war began. Mama will be most disappointed if you don't come."

"I really should be at the hospital. Today is my day off."

"I am certain they can spare you for a few hours. After I said yes to you for the convalescent home, you cannot now tell me no for one little dinner," Mary insisted.

"Very well, send Tom to fetch me a hour before dinner. I can change quickly."

"Tom?"

"I mean Branson," Sybil corrected as her cheeks turned slightly red. As they walked back to the house, Mary began to wonder about Sybil's slip of the tongue and decided it would be best to keep an eye on her little sister.

\\\\

The next afternoon, Mary was in a terrible mood. Elizabeth was teething and had screamed most of the night, so Mary had gotten precious little sleep. A year ago, she couldn't understand why Edith would have stayed up with her son when then there was a nanny perfectly able to do that, but with Elizabeth screaming for her mama, Mary had been unable to stay away. Then Elizabeth had been generally fussy all day due to lack of sleep.

Mary's mood had gone from bad to worse when in the late afternoon, she felt the all too familiar cramps in her abdomen set in, and within a hour had physical confirmation that her hopes of pregnancy had been dashed. Unable to vent her frustration, disappointment, and sadness in any other way, Mary retreated to her room and cried.

"My lady," Anna said, after knocking softly and opening the door to Mary's room. "You hadn't rung, but dinner is in less than an hour. Shall I help you dress?"

"Yes, of course," Mary said, wiping her eyes and steeling herself to hide her pain. "Had Lord Grantham returned?" Mary asked. She would have assumed he would have come up to greet her had he arrived, but perhaps he went to the nursery instead.

"No, my lady," Anna replied.

Matthew's failure to arrive served only to anger Mary, whether it was fair to blame him or not. Although Mary wished there was a way to cancel this dinner, she knew that was not possible so she began mentally preparing herself for it. How was she suppose to bear sitting at the table with Edith so happy with her husband and likely soon to be pregnant with her third child while Mary's own husband was absent and the knowledge of her failure to create an heir so fresh in her mind?

A little less than an hour later, Anna put the finishing touches on Mary's hair. "Thank you Anna, I think I am ready. Can you just give me a moment?" Mary asked. Anna nodded and quietly left the room.

Mary took several deep, calming breaths before appraising her appearance in the mirror. Her eyes were slightly red which she could easily blame on allergies, but other than that she was pleased to see that he face did not reflect her true feelings.

"Hello darling," Matthew said as he breezed into the room from his dressing room.

"You are late, and you are still dressed in your uniform," Mary said coolly as Matthew kissed her cheek.

"It couldn't be helped, but I am here now," Matthew assured her, confused by her coolness. "I will change right away. It won't take me more than a few minutes."

"Well you best hurry so we don't have to delay dinner," Mary said as she brushed past him, leaving him looking bewildered in her wake.

Matthew quickly dressed in his formal mess kit and joined the family just as they were walking into dinner. Mary was aloof toward him through out dinner, making him wonder what it was he had done to anger her.

After dinner had finished, Matthew and Anthony remained behind to enjoy brandy and a cigar.

"Is it odd to be back for an extended period?" Anthony asked as he lit his cigar.

"Sometimes. Especially when I am enjoying comforts such as these and then I remember what life is like in the trenches," Matthew admitted as he took a sip of brandy.

"The last time I saw my son, he was five months old. When I came home this time he is walking and talking and has no idea who I am."

"I know the feeling, but he'll learn."

"It seems odd that my wife has given me two sons, but I've never seen her look different than she did the day we married. It is a strange life we life we lead."

"It is indeed."

"Any chance your transfer will be permanent?"

"No, and I wouldn't accept it anyway. I already feel like I've abandoned my men, and this is only for a few months. I couldn't bear the guilt of sitting out the rest of the war in safety while they risk their lives," Matthew confessed.

When the men rejoined the ladies, Sybil informed Matthew that Mary had pleaded a headache and went to bed. With no excuse of his own, Matthew was forced to remain downstairs. Luckily, Edith and Anthony were eager to escape and left earlier than normal, freeing Matthew to retire for the evening.

Matthew returned to his dressing room and allowed Bates to assist him in changing into his pajamas.

"Bates, have you heard anything downstairs about Mary feeling ill?" Matthew inquired.

"No my lord."

"Thank you Bates. That will be all," Matthew said, waiting until Bates had left before opening the door that joined the dressing room to the bedroom he shared with Mary. Stepping into the bedroom, he saw his wife standing with her back to him looking out the window into the night.

"I'm tired, I don't feel well, and I fear I am not good company tonight. Perhaps it would be better if you took your sleep in the dressing room," she said without turning to look at him.

"Is that really what you want? Have I done something to upset you?"

"No, it isn't anything you have done," Mary admitted.

"Well then what is it," Matthew asked as he walked up behind her.

"It's nothing," Mary insisted, not wanting to talk to him about it.

"It isn't nothing Mary. You've been out of sorts all evening and are clearly upset about something. I would have you tell me what it is."

"Like I said, I am tired and don't feel well."

"That may be, but I think it is more than that," Matthew said as he gently turned her face toward him and took in her dampened cheeks and reddened eyes. "For God sake Mary, you've been crying. What brought this on?"

"My own folly. I got my hopes up about something much too soon and those hopes were dashed today."

"About what?"

"It doesn't matter," Mary replied.

"It does matter. It obviously upset you so it does matter," Matthew insisted.

"I thought I was pregnant, but it turns out I am not," Mary said.

"Oh Mary," he said wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin in the crook of her neck. "I know how much you want that, but darling, we have plenty of time."

"No, we don't. Every time you leave, I am left knowing that not only might it be the last time I see you, but that if I don't produce an heir, then everything else is lost as well. Every time you leave, you risk not only your life, not only my future, but you risk Elizabeth's future too. The only way I can protect my daughter is to have a son. I can't change your mind about going, and God knows I am trying to accept that, but it would be so much easier if I didn't have to worry about her while I am already so worried about you."

"Darling I am so sorry."

"Yes, you're sorry, but you'll still go."

"I have a duty to go, Mary. You know that. But I don't leave for two more months, and if you aren't pregnant by then, it won't be for lack of trying," Matthew said, placing a soft kiss on her neck.

"We have been trying, but to no effect."

"Give me your hands," Matthew instructed.

"Why?"

"Just do it," he said gently and waited a moment until she lifted her hands to his. "Do you know that before I came home last month, I could count the nights we had spent together properly on both our fingers. These seven fingers," he said as he touched her hands, "they represent that first leave when I came home. Seven nights when we learned together how to love each other, and on one of those nights, we made Elizabeth," he said, lifting hands to his mouth to kiss them. "Then these three fingers, they represent those nights we shared in Paris so joyful in each other and the knowledge that our family was soon to grow. Then my fingers, they represent the last leave I had. Ten days when I met the beautiful daughter you gave me and reconnected with my lovely wife. So Mary, out of two short leaves when you could have gotten pregnant, you did once. I'd say we have been lucky."

"But you've been home almost a month this time," Mary pointed out.

"And here perhaps only half those nights," he reminded her. "Just be patient darling. It will happen."

Mary knew he had a point, that when she looked back, they really hadn't had all that many opportunities to be together. Rationally she knew this, but when she saw Edith get pregnant twice with roughly the same level of opportunity, it just seemed unfair.

TBC

Next Up: Elizabeth's first birthday and Downton is transformed into a convalescence home.

Author's Note: I know many of you wanted Mary to be pregnant and I hope you are not too disappointed. There will be at least one more pregnancy for Mary in this story. Let me know what you think :)


	33. Chapter 33

More Than Duty Chapter 33

June 1917

"Welcome home my lord," Carson said when Matthew entered the main door.

"Thank you Carson. Where is Mary?" Matthew asked as he handed his bag to William.

"She is walking the lawn with Lady Elizabeth. She did not expect you to arrive until the later," Carson explained.

"Has Bates returned from London?" Matthew asked.

"No my Lord. He telephoned that he will be on the 5:00 train. I shall send Mr. Branson to fetch him from the station so that he may be here in time to assist you in dressing for dinner."

"Very good. Is there anything else?"

"There is my lord. May we speak in private?" Carson asked. Matthew nodded and led the way into the library.

"There was an odd letter when I was sorting the post this morning," Carson said once he had closed the doors.

"Odd?"

"Yes, my lord. The sender's address said the letter from Mrs. John Bates," Carson said as he handed the unopened letter to Matthew.

"Bates is married?"

"I have never heard him speak of it before. But if it is true, I can only hope that Anna knows."

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I shall let you know if any further action needs to be taken. In the mean time, please do not mention this to anyone else," Matthew instructed.

Matthew was still pondering the news when he walked outside to find Mary. He had not walked far when he spotted Mary sitting on a bench with her back toward him. Elizabeth however was standing on Mary's legs as Mary held onto her to ensure she didn't fall over. The puppy was sleeping at Mary's feet.

Smiling, Matthew walked briskly in their direction. When he was only a few feet away from them, Elizabeth looked up and spotted him. "Papa Papa," he heard her shout.

"Very good sweetheart," Mary replied. Matthew had been gone for five days, but had promised to be back this evening as Elizabeth's first birthday was tomorrow. Mary had re-doubled her efforts in his absence to teach Elizabeth to say "papa" and had finally met with success yesterday.

"Papa Papa Papa" Elizabeth chanted.

"Your Papa will be so pleased when he hears you," Mary said, smiling at her daughter.

"He is very pleased indeed," Mary heard him say as she felt his warm hand on her shoulder just before he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"You're back early," Mary said with a smile as he lifted Elizabeth from her arms.

"Does that please you?" he asked.

"Of course it pleases me," Mary responded.

"Papa!" Elizabeth shouted, as she put her little hands on his face to gain his attention.

"And what about you my darling Lizzie - are you happy to see me?" he asked as he tickled her, making her laugh and squeal.

"If she gets any more excited, she will have the whole house running out here," Mary said, marveling again at how such a little girl could scream so loudly, but Matthew didn't seem to mind.

Elizabeth's screams had awakened the puppy who was now jumping and barking at Matthew's legs as his little mistress giggled in delight at being tossed into the air by her father.

"Pup!" Lizzie shouted after a few moments so Matthew set her down on the ground where she laughed as the little dog licked her face.

"It seems I have been abandoned already," Matthew said with a smile as he set next to Mary.

"Don't feel badly. Sometimes I think that dog outranks us all," Mary said with an indulgent smile as she watched Elizabeth crawl after the puppy.

"Don't you think it's about time we gave the puppy a name? Or do you always intend to call it 'that dog?" Matthew asked.

"Did you have a name in mind?" Mary asked.

"Well since she is always getting into things - especially my bag whenever I return home - I was thinking of calling her Pandora."

"Well that's a mouth full for Elizabeth to learn," Mary said.

"Your father named his dogs for Egyptian myths. Knowing your fondness for the Greek myths, I thought it might be fitting."

"Perhaps it is," Mary agreed.

Bates was waiting in the dressing room several hours later when Matthew entered to dress for dinner.

"Good evening Bates. Were you able to get everything in London that I requested?" Matthew asked.

"Yes my lord. The gifts for Lady Elizabeth are wrapped and sitting in the corner. And here is the gift for her Ladyship," Bates said as he pulled a small box from his pocket.

Matthew opened the box to confirm it was what he had requested. "Thank you Bates. You did well," Matthew said as he handed the box back to Bates. "When I have gone down to dinner, please ask Anna to see that it is placed in the drawer on my side of the bed before Mary and I retire this evening."

"I shall see that it is done my lord."

"Something arrived for you today as well," Matthew said as he pulled the letter Carson had given him earlier in the day and handed it to the valet. "I was unaware you had a wife."

"Most people are. Vera is not the type of person one desires to speak about. It hasn't been a true marriage for many years. She left before I came to Downton, but my wife she remains. No doubt Vera has heard that my mother has passed and is wanting to get her hands on any inheritance I may have received," Bates said as he opened the letter which confirmed his suspicions. It seemed Vera had indeed heard and was now expressing her desire to reconcile. She wrote that she would have come herself months ago, but she had fallen down a flight of stairs and broken her leg and injured her hip which made travel impossible. He frowned at her threat that if he did not return to her, she would see to it that he would be very sorry indeed.

"Why remain married then?" Matthew asked.

"Beyond being scandalous, obtaining a divorce is a complicated and expensive endeavor that few outside the aristocracy can afford. I made a choice long ago that I now must live with."

"What if you didn't have to live with it?" Matthew asked.

"It doesn't matter, because I do. Even if a divorce were possible, Vera would never consent to one if it were something I desired."

"She left you correct? How many years ago?" Matthew asked.

"About six years ago," Bates replied.

"Then she doesn't need to consent. One ground for divorce is abandonment. If a spouse leaves without cause and abandons the other for five years or more, consent by the spouse who left is unnecessary," Matthew said as Bates silently contemplated his words. "It is a heavy decision. One not to be taken lightly. If you wish it though, you needn't worry about costs - I will have Murray handle it for you."

"You wouldn't object to having a valet tainted by the stain of divorce?" Bates asked.

"No, for the fault was not yours, and if that is your decision, then I shall ensure that none here shall treat you any differently. Besides, I think there is only one person who's opinion on the matter you may wish to obtain."

"Anna. She knows about my marriage of course. I had to tell her," Bates said softly. "Who would want to be with someone who was divorced."

"I can speak from experience in saying that when you love someone, you find you can forgive much more than you ever thought you could."

"Thank you my lord. I shall think on it."

"Just a word of warning Bates. If you think this is something you wish to pursue, you mustn't go back to her for even a day, for doing so would negate the grounds of abandonment."

That evening, Mary was still sitting at her vanity with Anna brushing her hair when Matthew entered from his dressing room. Mary met his eyes in the mirror and smiled. "That will be all Anna," Mary said as she took the brush from the maid's hand. As Anna turned to leave, she caught Matthew's eyes and gave the slightest nod in the direction of the nightstand to let him know that she had placed the box inside as requested.

As soon as the door closed, Mary stood and walked into Matthew's arms and her lips eagerly sought his.

"I've been waiting all day for that," Matthew said when their kiss ended.

"I've been waiting for five days for that," Mary replied, as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You've been waiting five days just to kiss me?" Matthew teased, as his hand toyed with the tie of her robe.

"Perhaps I have been looking forward to something more," Mary confessed.

"That's good because I have been looking forward to all sorts of things," Matthew responded.

"Do you plan to tell me about these things?" Mary said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I could, but I would much rather show you," Matthew said with a grin as he lifted her up and carried her to the bed.

The next morning, Matthew woke before Mary and smiled at the sight of her head resting on his chest. He thought about letting her sleep, but decided he wanted to wake her before the nanny brought Elizabeth to them. He gently brushed her hair out of her face and leaned down to softly kiss her lips. "Wake up my love," he whispered. She slowly began to stir in response. She opened her eyes to see his face just inches from hers.

"My favorite way to wake up," she said as he fingers made their way into his hair as she drew him in for a kiss.

Matthew drew back after a moment. "I cannot believe that a year ago today you brought our daughter into the world," he said as his hands caressing her face.

"I find it a bit hard to believe myself sometimes. She was so very tiny then, but she has grown so much."

Matthew turned onto his side and reached into the drawer of the nightstand. Turning back to her, he handed her the box.

"What is this?" Mary asked.

"A present for you my darling."

"It's not my birthday."

"Does it need to be? Cannot a man give his wife a present simply because he wishes to?"

"I suppose he can," Mary said with a smile as she reached for the ribbon, before his hand stilled hers.

"A year ago today you gave me the greatest gift I could ever receive. I am a little late and my present isn't nearly as special, but I wanted to give you something to commemorate what you did," Matthew said as he lifted her hand to his lips.

When he released her hand, she pulled the ribbon and opened the box. "Beautiful," she said when she pulled out a pair of large pearl earrings.

"I saw in one of those fashion magazines you left open on the bed that birthstones are the new fad. It seems pearl is the birthstone for June. I bought a smaller pair for Lizzie although I am not sure when girls pierce their ears."

"Thank you my love," Mary said, leaning in to kiss him. Before Mary could escalate their kiss into something more, there was a knock at the door.

"It seems the birthday girl is awake," Matthew said as he slid from the bed and donned his robe to get the baby. When he opened the door, the nanny passed Elizabeth to him.

"Happy Birthday my darling Lizzie," Matthew said as he carried her back to the bed and settled her on his lap.

"Papa! Mama!"

"Happy birthday my sweet girl," Mary said, leaning in to kiss the baby.

"Would you like a present now Lizzie?" Matthew asked.

"Matthew, no one is here yet. We are having lunch on the lawn with the family, and she will get her presents then."

"This is to amuse her during the luncheon. Besides, I may have gotten her a few extra presents," Matthew said as he passed Lizzie to Mary and hurried toward his dressing room.

"Papa Papa Papa!" Elizabeth called as soon as he left the room.

"He will be right back darling," Mary said, trying to calm the child.

"Papa!" Elizabeth shouted even louder.

"Here I am," Matthew said as he rushed back into the room carrying two boxes. He set the boxes on the bed and climbed in.

"Papa," Elizabeth said as she wiggled free of Mary's arms and crawled over to sit in his lap again. Laughing he kissed her cheek and then helped her open the box. Mary reached over to help Elizabeth lift out a pink kite which was bigger than the little girl.

"I thought she might like it if I fly it for her later today," Matthew explained.

"She will love it," Mary assured him.

Elizabeth was eagerly reaching for the second box. "Elizabeth we need to work on your manners. We don't open the second present until you thank Papa for the first. Can you give him a kiss?" Mary gently chided.

Elizabeth looked between her mother and the still wrapped box.

"It's fine Mary, she is just a baby," Matthew said.

"I know she is a baby, but you have to work on these things early. Now darling, give Papa a kiss, then you can have this lovely box," Mary said, turning Elizabeth in Matthew's direction. Elizabeth grasped his robe, using it to pull herself up and quickly kissed his cheek.

"You are most welcome my little darling," Matthew said.

"That was very good Elizabeth. Now you can have your other present," Mary said. Elizabeth eagerly pulled at the ribbon and then clapped her hands as Mary lifted the lid from the box. Elizabeth babbled incoherently in delight as she reached in and pulled out a teddy bear that she soon cuddled against her.

"You did very well picking her presents darling," Mary praised.

"Oh these are just the first. I have more for her later," Matthew admitted.

"I suspect you are going to be one spoiled girl before the day is over," Mary said to Elizabeth who was playing happily with her new toy.

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this. I had to move the Vera/Bates story line a little bit so that I could involve Matthew so I invented an injury for her that kept her from visiting earlier as she did in the show.

Next Up: Downton opens as a convalescent home, Matthew and his General visit, along with the press who are eager for the story of the young earl who fights on the front and his countess who is opening their home to wounded soldiers.

Please let me know what you think or what you would like to see :)


	34. Chapter 34

More Than Duty Chapter 34

July 1917

"Matthew! What in the world are you doing here? Mary said you would be gone for another week" Isobel asked when she felt a hand on her arm and looked up to see her son.

"Well, we start out tour of Yorkshire and Lancashire tomorrow, but General Strutt knew I lived around here and gave me a few hours off," Matthew said.

"You came home for a few hours?" Isobel asked, suppressing a smile.

"Well I've been gone a week. I thought I should check on the family," Matthew replied, feeling his face warm.

"I am sure Mary will think it a lovely surprise," Isobel said, noting with amusement his reddened face.

"Mrs. Crawley, how can we…Lord Grantham, we weren't expecting you," Mrs. Hughes said as she entered the room.

"I am only here for a very short while. I need to catch the evening train to York," Matthew replied.

"I shall let Mr. Carson know, and I am sure he will have Branson at the ready to drive your Lordship to the station," Mrs. Hughes said.

"Thank you. Where is my wife?" Matthew asked and then excused himself once Mrs. Hughes has provided the answer.

When he entered the room Mrs. Hughes had directed him too, Mary's back was to him as she placed a carafe of water at each bedside. Smiling, he walked up behind her undetected.

"I hadn't cast you as Florence Nightingale," he said softly as he leaned in close enough that his nose brushed against her hair.

"Well, we can't leave all the moral high ground to Sybil. She might get lonely there," she said with a smile as continued about her task. "What are you doing here?"

"We finished in the Midlands. We start in the camps in the northern counties tomorrow, but I had a few hours before my train to York so I thought I would stop here," Matthew replied as he followed her, noting with irritation that Mary seemed determined to continue her work.

"I'm so glad you did. Unfortunately Elizabeth is asleep, but I am sure she will awaken before you have to leave again. She has something to show you," Mary said, smiling to herself while still not looking back at him or giving in to her desire to touch him.

"What about you? Do you have anything to show me?" he asked, his hand reaching out to lightly caress her neck.

"Of course," Mary said, gesturing to the room. "You are seeing it now. The transformation is rather incredible and came together so quickly." Glancing back at him, she saw a flicker of disappointment wash over his face and bit back a smile. She knew it was a bit mean to tease him and make him wait, but it wasn't like she could throw herself into his arms the moment he appeared. Goodness, what would everyone think if she were to do that?

"I've told my general about what is being done here. He wishes to come see it for himself with some members of the press of course. It is exactly the sort of thing people like to read about," Matthew said trying to determine how best to gain her full attention.

"I should love to meet him," Mary said, walking to the other side of the room to continue the distribution.

"Yes, I'm sure he would love to meet you as well."

"Just give us a few weeks to get settled into a routine here," Mary suggested.

"Of course. Perhaps at the end of the month."

"That would be fine. Did you know Edith spoke to me about helping out once the patients arrive? It seems she wants to do something to help the war effort as well," Mary said, walking to the next bed.

"Well she does have a husband at the front," Matthew commented, following after Mary, his eyes glued to her form as she set her tray down and gracefully bent over to fluff the pillow at the head of the bed.

"Is there no one else who can finish this for you?" Matthew asked, his patience wearing thin.

"Why?" Mary teased, as she turned to face him allowing him to see the smile playing at her lips.

Matthew grinned in response before leaning in so that no one would over hear him. "Because it has been a week since I have seen you, and I need to kiss you…very badly. So unless you want me to do so right here in front of everyone, I suggest you find someone who can finish this for you," Matthew said, his eyes meeting hers and sending a tingling feeling up her spine.

"Is that all you need?" Mary asked playfully as she raised an eyebrow in question.

"For starters anyway," he said.

"Anna," Mary called out to the maid who had just entered the room. "Please see to it that one of these is placed at each bedside, and then check with Sybil to see if anything else needs to be done."

"Yes my lady," Anna replied, smiling to herself as Mary left the room with Matthew only steps behind her.

"I do hope my mother isn't driving you mad," Matthew said as they walked toward their bedroom. "She does love a bit of authority, but you mustn't let her walk all over you."

"She has been fine. In all honesty, I am happy for the help," Mary said as Matthew held the bedroom door open for her and then closed it securely behind them. "But in truth, I don't wish to talk of your mother right now," Mary said, her dark eyes meeting his.

"What do you wish to talk of?" Matthew said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I don't wish to talk at all at the moment," Mary said, brining her hands up into his hair.

"Thank God for that," Matthew said, lowering his mouth to hers. Mary eagerly accepted his kiss, pressing her body against his and eliciting a moan from him. "It's only been a week and I want you so very badly my darling," he said as his fingers sough the fastenings on the back of her dress. "How am I to survive it when it is months on end before I can see you," he murmured against her neck.

"Don't think of that right now," Mary urged, trying in vain to push the thought from her mind as she pushed the jacket off his shoulders. When Mary's hands reached for the waistband of his trousers, Matthew found it difficult to think of anything else.

\\\

"Goodness Matthew, you have made my hair incredibly untidy. I will never be able to recreate Anna's work on my own," Mary said an hour later when she sat in front of her mirror inspecting her hair and finding that Matthew had removed nearly all the pins from it.

"I probably should be sorry, but I'm not. You know how I like your hair splayed over the pillow as I look down upon you or your hair tossing wildly about your face as you writhe in pleasure," Matthew said as he sat up to watch her.

"Matthew, you really shouldn't say such shocking things," Mary replied.

"Very well, I shall only think them," Matthew said with a grin, watching as Mary twisted her hair up in a much simpler fashion than it had been in before he pulled the pins out. Mary silently hoped that no one noticed how her hair had changed. She suspected that even if her hair went unnoticed, their disappearance would most certainly not go unnoticed, but looking at her husband lazing in bed looking utterly contented she could not bring herself to care about the propriety of their actions.

"Come back to bed darling," Matthew urged.

"So you can undo my hair again?" Mary asked, trying to sound stern. "Besides, I want Elizabeth to show you something so put on some clothes while I go get her."

When Mary returned a few minutes later with Elizabeth in her arms, Matthew was just finishing buttoning his shirt.

"Papa!" Elizabeth shouted with excitement when she saw Matthew, and immediately began trying to wiggle free from her mother's arms. Mary knelt down on the ground, still holding Elizabeth tightly in her arms.

"Now darling, show Papa what you can do," Mary said out loud before whispering in the child's ear "go on, walk to Papa" in a voice too low for Matthew to hear. "You can do it," Mary urged, setting the child on her feet and then letting go. Elizabeth stood completely still for a moment, looking back at her mother who again encouraged her to go on, but it had only been a few days since Elizabeth had started walking on her own. After a moment, Matthew called her name and she smiled at him, moving her right foot forward. Slowly, Elizabeth began to walk to her father. Her steps were unsteady, but he was not that far away and she managed to make it to him without falling down. Delighted with her self, she clapped for her achievement when she reached him and he scooped her up into his arms.

"Oh Lizzie, look at you go," Matthew said, smiling at his daughter as he held her.

"Go!" Lizzie repeated.

"That is her third new word this week," Mary said proudly. "Give her another few weeks, and she will be talking more than her cousin Robbie."

\\\

The end of July arrived all too soon for Mary's liking. As Mary stood outside the main doors of Downton Abbey, preparing to greet General Strutt when he arrived with her husband, Mary tried to improve her mood. She would normally have been extremely pleased to see Matthew, but this was to be his last evening at home before he returned to the front. His last evening in which she would have to play hostess and entertain their guests and worse of all, she would have to bid him farewell at the end of the evening rather than have one last evening with him before he left.

The rest of the family was lined up to Mary's right - all except Edith who had telephoned earlier sending her regrets but saying that she was feeling unwell. In fact, Edith had been unwell several days this past week and had remained at home rather than come over to assist the recovering soldiers. Unwell, the word echoed in Mary's head for she knew what it meant. Edith was almost certainly in the early stages of yet another pregnancy.

When Mary saw the cars pull into the long driveway and make their way up toward the house, she turned toward Elizabeth who was being held by her nanny. A quick glance showed the child was still perfectly clean and her dress unwrinkled which pleased Mary as she wished to make a good impression upon Matthew's general.

"You look lovely darling. Now you must be quiet or you shall have to be sent back to the nursery," Mary said as she affectionately stroked Elizabeth's cheek.

When Mary turned back around, the cars had stopped and she was just in time to see Matthew exiting the driver's seat. Goodness, but he looks handsome, she thought as Matthew opened the door to allow the general to exit the car. Together, Matthew and the General approached her.

"General, allow me present my wife, Lady Grantham," Matthew said, meeting Mary's eyes and smiling.

"It is most kind of you to have us here Lady Grantham," General Strutt replied.

"You are most welcome at Downton General," Mary assured him, and then waited as Matthew introduced the rest of her family as well as his mother and Dr. Clarkson.

"Papa!" Elizabeth shouted in hopes of gaining her father's attention. Mary turned with the intent to tell the nanny to take Elizabeth back to the nursery, but Matthew just smiled and took the baby from the nanny's arms. "Papa," Elizabeth said again in a contented voice, happy to be in her father's arms.

"And this is our daughter, Lady Elizabeth Crawley," Matthew said to the general.

"What a lovely family you have Captain Crawley," General Strutt said.

"Indeed I do. I have been most fortunate."

"Lady Grantham, we have brought a few members of the London press. I believe it is important for the people to see how you are contributing to the war effort. And they seem to think there would be some appetite in London for the story of an earl who fights at the front and the countess who is doing her own bit of heroics on the home front. Allow me to introduce them. This is Mr. Harold Green, Mr. Michael Gregson, Sir Charles Johnson, and Sir Richard Carlisle," the general said as he gestured to the four men standing behind them.

"You are most welcome gentlemen," Mary said, her eyes lingering on the last of the group, sure that she had seen him before but not entirely certain where or when.

"Shall we go through? I will be happy to lead your tour and explain the different levels of care we practice here," Isobel said, anxious for the General to see all that they had accomplished in such a short time.

"Lady Grantham and Mrs. Crawley will accompany us," Matthew said quickly, giving his mother a look that would brook no argument for he would not see Mary slighted.

"Me!" Elizabeth said, clutching Matthew's neck as her nanny stepped forward to take her back to the nursery.

"Yes, and you Lizzie," Matthew said indulgently, gesturing to the nanny that her assistance was not needed as he carried Lizzie into the house behind his mother, his wife, and his general.

"How old is your daughter?" Mr. Gregson asked.

"Just over a year," Matthew said proudly as the newsman made a note of his answer.

"Quite precocious for one so young," Gregson added kindly.

"She must provide a good incentive for you to spend your leaves at home now, rather than in Paris," Carlisle noted.

"She does indeed. As does her mother," Matthew said, fixing Richard with a hard stare before the latter shrugged and moved to catch up with their tour guide who had left them behind.

"Don't mind him. He is only sullen because he would much rather write a piece that brings a hero down rather than one that builds a hero up," Gregson said, clapping Matthew on the back before hurting to catch up with the rest of the group.

The tour went well and Mary was pleased that she was able impress the General with what was being done at Downton for she knew that doing so would raise Matthew even higher in his esteem. When the tour ended, Matthew handed Elizabeth off to her nanny so the adults could enjoy a pre-dinner drink. Mary took the opportunity to pull Matthew aside, frowning when she saw that Carlisle's eyes were upon them.

"I've seen him somewhere before," Mary whispered to Matthew.

"The train station in London when I was heading back to the front after my first leave," Matthew said, his voice harder than he ever intended it to be when he spoke to her.

"Ah that's right. He was an acquaintance of yours," Mary said.

"The most cursory of acquaintances, I assure you. We met so briefly that it can barely be called a meeting," Matthew replied.

"And yet long enough to leave you with a bad impression," Mary observed.

"There is just something about him. I don't trust him, and it would please me if you stayed away from him," Matthew said.

"Matthew, he is here to see the estate and to interview us. I cannot very well snub him, no matter how much you might wish it."

"Lord and Lady Grantham, may I ask a question," Mr. Green asked as he approached the couple.

"Of course," Mary replied, taking her eyes away from Matthew, but keeping her arm linked though his.

"You seem so happy together. Was it a love match?"

"We are very happy thank you," Mary replied quickly and a bit nervously, still somewhat uncomfortable with discussing the early days of her marriage and how it had come about.

"I love her from the first moment I saw her, but it took her a bit longer," Matthew said with a reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze of her hand. His answer relaxed Mary enough that she was able to open up and answer a few more questions.

When Carson announced that dinner was served, Mary gracefully, but regretfully sat next to General Strutt as manner dictated. She reminded her self several times that she must focus on their guest, but she had to admit that her eyes strayed a few times to her husband who sat at the other end of the table.

"I must thank you for your hospitality Lady Grantham," General Strutt said.

"It is nothing," Mary insisted.

"But it isn't. I know dealing with the press and answering intrusive questions is less than pleasant."

"I am only surprised that they have any interest in us at all. I truly can't fathom it," Mary admitted.

"More than interest. You and Captain Crawley shall be the talk of the town in London next week. A handsome young earl who eschews privilege and fights in the heat of battle, and his beautiful countess who opens their home to assist injured soldiers? They won't be able to get enough of it."

"Perhaps," Mary agreed.

After dinner, the men stayed behind enjoying scotch and cigars while the women withdrew to the sitting room. The reporters appeared first, informing Mary that General Strutt had requested a private word with her husband.

"Lady Sybil, Lord Grantham has informed us that you nursed at the local hospital. Tell us about that," Mr. Gregson urge, claiming a seat next to her as Mr. Johnson and Mr. Green gathered. Mary observed that Sir Richard hung back and once Sybil was talking with great enthusiasm about her work, he drew closer to Mary.

"Lady Grantham, would humor me and permit me a private word," he asked, inclining his head toward the corner of the room. Wondering what he could possibly have to say to her, Mary nodded her agreement and walked over to the corner where they would not be overheard.

"What can I do for you Sir Richard?"

"I wished to give you a word of warning my lady," he replied with a smile that did not reach his eyes.

"Very well," she said cautiously.

"You and your husband will no doubt receive glowing reports from the press. People love the story of a hero and his lady love. But do you know what people love more?"

"No, but I am certain you will tell me," Mary said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at his condescending manner.

"They love to watch a hero fall. Oh this current story will sell papers, but the fall will sell twice as many."

"Would, Sir Richard - not will. You said the fall will sell twice as many papers, but my husband is the most honorable of men and your will shall never be. So you best find yourself another story," Mary said in annoyance, turning her back on him. As she walked back toward the group, her annoyance turned to outright anger when she heard Carlisle's laugh but she forced herself to ignore it.

When Matthew and the General entered, Matthew's face was lit by huge grin.

"What is it?" Mary asked as she walked to his side.

"I believe your husband is most pleased with the news that I delayed his return to the front by two days. He has been most helpful to me and we have exceeded our recruitment quota. Then to have allowed this that will only boost our success more? Well I thought it only right that I reward him, and what better way than gifting him with two more days before he returns to the front," General Strutt said, smiling at the delight that lit up Mary's face, indeed the woman looked so pleased that if he didn't know better he would have thought she may have kissed him.

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. As you may have guessed, this is not the last we will see of Richard. Let me know what you think.


	35. Chapter 35

More Than Duty Chapter 35

_October 12, 1917_

_My Darling Matthew,_

_How are you my love? You must tell me truly. I read in the newspapers that the Americans are now involved in combat in France. I can only hope that the addition of more troops will bring a swift end to this war. _

_I know you worry that Elizabeth will forget you during your absence, but believe me darling that is most unlikely. Elizabeth asks for you everyday and often carries your picture around, showing it to everyone, proudly informing whoever will listen that you are her Papa. Oh Matthew, she is so very smart. She is learning new words every day now, and I am convinced that she knows more words than her older cousin. She is even learning to string words together, of course her favorite phrase is "no nap." She has learned to run now, and you would be surprised how fast someone so small can be. _

_Everyone else here is well. Sybil stays very busy and seems to like it that way. Your mother is determined to make the convalescence home run as efficiently as any military instillation. If it were not for my desire to spend much of my day with Elizabeth, I fear your mother and I would have had several arguments about the details, but I would rather play with our darling girl than argue about schedules. My mother however reached her limit and has taken to staying in London with Aunt Rosamund. Do not worry though, I see Mama quite often. Ever since the newspaper stories about us came out in the wake of General Strutt's visit, I find myself the recipient of many invitations to dinner parties in London. At first, I was not sure about accepting so many invitations, but Granny suggested that I do, reminding me that doing so could benefit you after this war if you choose to take your place in the House of Lords, so I find myself taking the train to London several times a months. _

_Speaking of London, the last time I traveled there, Mr. Bates accompanied me. It seems he is taking you up on your offer of assistance in regards to his martial status, so he took the opportunity to meet with Mr. Murray. I must say that while the idea of a divorced servant is still shocking to me, I shall try adjust to it, for Anna's sake and because you asked it of me. _

_It seems my suspicions were correct, and Edith is expecting another child sometime in February. Although I cannot help but feel a bit of jealousy, it is not nearly as bad as it has been in the past. Heaven help Edith when this war finally ends, for she seems so fertile that once her husband is home for good, I fear she could be in a permanent state of pregnancy. _

_I miss you sorely. I know it selfish, especially given the fact that we were just blessed with so much time together, but it is true all the same. I cannot bear to think that it shall months and likely even a year before I see your face again. You see, I feel like only half myself when you are not hear. I don't know how or when that happened, but somehow it did. So you see my love, you must return home safely, so that I can be whole again. _

_All my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

_October 30, 1917_

_My Darling Mary,_

_If it is selfish to miss the one you love, then selfishness is a sin I am well acquainted with. There are no words to convey how much I miss you Mary, although I suspect you know because I think you feel the same. I dream of you every night. It is a comfort and a torment as a dream cannot last and eventually I am brought back to the sad reality we are living in. It cannot last forever though, and God willing, I will back with you and Lizzie soon. _

_I am so pleased to hear about Lizzie's latest accomplishments, but I think my men here tire of hearing of them. I am sure the men laugh to think that such a little girl already has me wrapped around her little finger, but I cannot help it if I am a doting Papa when you have given me such a wonderful daughter. Kiss her often for me and tell her that I love her dearly. _

_If traveling to London so often is not pleasing to you, please do not do so on my behalf. I should not like to impose upon you. I have thought little about what I will do after the war ends for I have no desire to tempt fate. So you see there is no need for you to inconvenience yourself to help me in something I may or may not do. _

_If my mother is overstepping and usurping your authority at Downton, you must tell me and I will write to her immediately. She is my mother, but you are my wife and it is your home. _

_Please pass my congratulations on to Edith, and remember darling, our time will come - I am sure of it. _

_William is doing well and I must admit it is nice to have a face from home around. He is a good lad, so optimistic and innocent that I wonder if this war will change him. I am not sure if you are aware of it, but he is hopelessly in love with the kitchen maid Daisy. She write to him, but not all that often. It is hard to explain how much a letter from a loved one means to the men out here, so perhaps you might encourage her to write him more frequently. _

_Your loving husband,_

_Matthew_

_/_

_November 10, 1917_

_Dearest Matthew,_

_You mustn't worry that I am inconveniencing myself on your behalf - it is something I am more than happy to do. If you do chose to involve yourself in politics later, I will be pleased to have helped you lay the groundwork - not that you need my assistance darling. You are so very clever that I am certain you rise to great heights all on your own._

_I am rather concerned about Sybil and would seek your advice on the matter. Granny expressed to me her concern that Sybil may develop romantic feelings for someone, someone who is not appropriate. After hearing Granny's concerns, I began to observe Sybil and now fear that Granny may in fact be correct. You see, I believe she has developed feelings for the chauffeur Branson. She hasn't admitted it. In fact, I am not even sure she truly understands her own feelings at this point, which is why I need your counsel. It is unthinkable that an earl's daughter would consider a chauffeur, but then Sybil has always embraced the unthinkable. In normal times, I would take her to London and introduce her to more socially acceptable options, but these are not normal times and most of the eligible men are away in France. Should I send Branson away? Doing so might be kinder to both of them in the long run. _

_With all my love,_

_Mary_

_/_

"A letter for you sir," William said, as he entered Matthew's barracks.

"From Downton?" Matthew asked hopefully, as he rose from his chair.

"Yes sir. And I bring even better news than that," William said with a grin.

"What is better than a letter from home," Matthew asked, taking the letter from William and smiling at the sight of Mary's familiar script.

"Authorization for leave," William replies, hoping up another paper.

"I didn't think I was due a leave in light my recent tour in England," Matthew said as he scanned the leave notice in disbelief. "Apparently that recent tour of duty in England did not qualify as a leave, so my normal leave is still still scheduled for mid-January.

"Yes sir. We will miss Christmas, but be back home by January 10th. I'm not a footman anymore, but perhaps if I write, Mrs. Hughes can find a bed for me for a night or two so I can visit Daisy," William said.

"You don't even need to ask. There will always be a place for you at Downton," Matthew assured him.

"All the same, I think I will write to Daisy right away so that they know when to expect me," William said with a smile before hurrying from the room. Matthew had been about to call after him, to let him know that he preferred to surprise Mary, but then decided to let it be. After all, Mary was unlikely to hear of Williams visit from Daisy and even if she did, the fact that William would be home on leave did not indicate that Matthew would be as well so he could still surprise her.

/

"A letter from his lordship my lady," Anna said, entering the sitting room to find Mary sitting on a chair watching Elizabeth chase the dog about the room.

"Thank you Anna," Mary said, smiling and reaching eagerly for the letter. "Would you watch Elizabeth for a few minutes while I read it?"

"Of course," Anna replied, turning toward Elizabeth and away from Mary to allow her the ability to read her letter in private. Anna knelt down on the floor and beckoned Elizabeth over to her. "Would you like a cookie little one? Mrs. Patmore made this just for you?" Anna said, holding out cookie she knew to be Elizabeth's favorite. Anna laughed as Elizabeth ran as fast as her little legs would carry her toward the promised sweet. After taking the cookie, Elizabeth plopped down on the floor and began to eat it as the dog hovered nearby hoping for any crumbs left by his little mistress.

Several minutes later, Mary walked over and kicked up Elizabeth, kissing her on the cheek. "That is from your papa darling. He loves you very much," Mary told her.

"His Lordship is well I hope," Anna said.

"As well as can be expected," Mary replied.

"And what a blessing that he will be home again so soon," Anna added.

"Home again?" Mary asked.

"In January for his leave," Anna said before noticing the confusion on Mary's face.

"Where did you hear that he has leave in January?"

"Daisy had letter from William yesterday. William wrote that both he and Lord Grantham would be home on leave in January although I do not remember the exact date. His lordship didn't mention it to you in his letter?"

"No, but he likes to surprise me."

"I am so sorry my lady, I did not know it was meant to be a surprise."

"Don't be sorry at all Anna. In fact, thanks to you, I can surprise him for a change," Mary said with a smile. "Please send Daisy to me right away."

"Certainly," Anna said, rising to do as Mary bid. A few minutes later, the door opened and a nervous looking Daisy walked in.

"You sent for me, your ladyship," Daisy said.

"Yes Daisy. I heard you received a letter from William which said that he and Lord Grantham will be back on leave soon."

"Yes my lady. William said they will be here January and asked if he might have a bed and dinner downstairs."

"Of course he may, and if he has any particular favorites, please tell Mrs. Patmore to be sure to make them.

"William will be very pleased to hear it," Daisy said, still confused about what Mary had asked to see her.

"Do you know specifically when they expect to arrive?" Mary asked.

"On January 10th on the 4:00 train," Daisy replied.

"His lordship does not know that I know about his upcoming visit and I would keep it that way. Can I trust you to not mention my knowledge of the subject in your letters to William?" Mary asked.

"Of course, I would never disobey your instruction."

"Good. Now I will speak with Mrs. Patmore and see to it that you are given a few extra free days during William's leave. I am sure that would please him greatly and we must keep up the spirits of our men at the front," Mary said, but she was surprised Daisy's face did not reflect the pleasure she expected it to. "Does that not please you?"

"It is very generous my lady," Daisy replied.

"And yet you don't seem pleased. Why?"

"It is only that I do not wish to lead him on."

"His lordship had told me that you and William were sweethearts."

"William wishes us to be."

"But you aren't so sure," Mary guessed.

"I like William, everyone likes William."

"I see. Well, let me give you a bit of advice. Like can sometimes turn to love. Spend the time I am giving with you with him. You may find that you like him more than you thought. Now remember, not a word to him about my knowledge of this upcoming leave."

"Yes my lady."

"Thank you. You may go," Mary said. When the door closed behind Daisy, she scooped up Elizabeth again and covered her face in kisses. "Oh sweetheart, you Papa is coming home soon."

"Papa!" Elizabeth said with excitement.

"And it shall be great fun to surprise him at the train station. You shall have a lovely new dress - blue I think, to show off your beautiful eyes," Mary said with excitement.

TBC

/

Author's Note: I am sorry for the delay, but I was on vacation and did not take my computer. Also, I must say that I was extremely discouraged by a reviewer who seems to think there is nothing original in this story and it is a rip on Orangeshipper's All That is Left. I would have responded to this person privately but they left it as a guest review so that is impossible to do. I am confused by their review and also offended as I have worked very hard to make this piece different from any I have seen. It has made me much less eager to continue. I have thought about it though and decided that this is just one person and I sincerely hope that the rest of you do not feel the way this one person does.


	36. Chapter 36

More Than Duty Chapter 36

January 10, 1918

Mary had set Elizabeth on the chair at her vanity, using a thick book to boost the little girl up high enough that she could see herself in the mirror. Tying another blue silk ribbon in her daughter's pale blond hair, Mary then stepped back to appraise her work. "You look beautiful sweetheart," Mary said.

"Pretty," Elizabeth exclaimed at her own image.

"Yes, very pretty darling," Mary agreed. Blue was certainly Elizabeth's color, so Mary had ordered her a new dress and ribbons in a lovely sky blue for this special day.

"More," Elizabeth requested.

"No, darling. There are already two ribbons in your hair, and I think that is enough."

"Peas," Elizabeth asked.

"It is please Elizabeth, please," Mary said gently.

"Peas," Elizabeth repeated, still unable to get the word right, but smiling up at her mother in hopes of getting her way.

"Very well, you may have two more ribbons, but that is it. So don't you think to ask for more than that," Mary agreed with a sigh, wondering how it was that this little girl could get her to do almost anything just by saying 'peas.'

"Mama," Elizabeth said with a toothy grin as she looked back into the mirror to watch as Mary began to but the requested additional ribbons into her hair.

"Yes, your mama can't say no to you, but if anyone asks, I shall say it was always my plan to put four ribbons in your hair," Mary said. Several minutes later, Mary had finished her work on Elizabeth's hair. "Now darling, Mama needs you to sit quietly and play with your doll for a few minutes," Mary said, settling the child in the window seat and handing over her favorite doll.

Mary fastened the pearl necklace that Matthew had given her several months ago and then applied the perfume she knew he loved. As she stood before the full length mirror appraising her appearance and the new red suit she had ordered for the occasion, Anna entered the room holding the new nightgown Mary had ordered which Anna had just freshly pressed.

"I will hang this hear for tonight my lady," Anna said, hanging the gown on the hook on the door. "It is lovely."

"A little short perhaps," Mary said, questioning her decision to buy the darling silk and lace nightgown that did not even reach her knees.

"I doubt his lordship will mind," Anna said, her checks turning slightly pink.

"No, I don't suppose he will mind. Just make sure no one else is present when you press it," Mary instructed.

"Of course, my lady."

"Well, I suppose we should go," Mary announced.

"Papa?" Elizabeth asked when she heard her mama say go.

"Yes darling, we are going to meet your papa at the train station," Mary confirmed. Excitedly, Elizabeth scooted off the window seat and hurried to her mothers side requesting repeatedly to go. "Yes darling, we are going," Mary said as she lifted up her daughter.

"Mr. Branson is waiting with car," Anna said as the trio left the room. "Shall I call nanny to go with you to attend to Lady Elizabeth?"

"No, we shall be fine on our own," Mary replied.

When Mary arrived at the train station, she carried Elizabeth to the appointed platform where Matthew's train was scheduled to arrive in a few minutes. Mary then set the little girl down on her feet and knelt down to straighten Elizabeth's new dress. "There. You look perfect darling. Now hold Mama's hand. Papa will be soon," Mary said, holding Elizabeth's hand in hers as she stood back up and waited impatiently for the train to arrive.

"Look Elizabeth, the train is here. Papa is on that train," Mary told her daughter.

"Papa!" Elizabeth called out, jumping up and down with excitement.

"He can't hear you yet Elizabeth," Mary said with a laugh. "You must wait until the doors open."

Soon, the doors of the train opened, and the passengers began pouring out of the train and onto the platform. Not wanting Elizabeth to let go of her hand and get lost in the crowd, Mary quickly lifted Elizabeth up into her arms and balanced the girl on her hip.

"Papa?" Elizabeth asked.

"Papa must be at the very back of the train car. He doesn't know we are here you see so you must be patient for a few more moments," Mary told Elizabeth. Mary's eye's had never left the first class car, but soon the flow of passengers exiting the train slowed and then stopped without Matthew emerging through the door. Looking through the window, Mary could see that the car was now empty. Her heart sped up a bit, wondering what could have happened to him, before the thought came to her that perhaps Matthew decided to ride in one of the lower class cars with William. Yes, it would be just like Matthew to forego his comfort as show solidarity with his men.

"We must have the wrong car Elizabeth. I think Papa is back here," Mary said as she walked toward the other cars. Although people were still filing out of the train cars, she saw no sign of Matthew yet. When the trail of passengers out of the train compartments finally slowed Mary called out to a solider she saw leaving the train.

"Excuse me sir," Mary said, gaining his attention.

"Yes?"

"Did you see a captain on the train?" Mary asked, wondering if perhaps she missed him.

"Ma'am no captain would be back here. You should check the first class cars," the soldier replied before rushing off to find his family.

Mary felt herself freeze as her stomach seemed to tie itself into knots. Why wasn't Matthew here when he was supposed to be? Her blood ran cold as she considered the horrible possibilities. No, she told herself, I will not think of that. There had to be a reason other than the one she was trying so desperately to push from her mind - that he was laying dead somewhere.

"Papa!" Elizabeth demanded, her patience having run out.

"Darling, he must be on a different train that comes in later today," Mary said, hoping desperately that her words proved true.

"Papa papa!" Elizabeth screamed, kicking her legs to try to break free from her mother's grip, but Mary just held her tighter. Finally, Elizabeth's gave up calling out for papa and simply began to cry as Mary tried to comfort her.

When Mary made it back to the car, Elizabeth was still crying and mumbling the word 'papa' every so often. Branson's face betrayed the shock that Matthew was not with them, but he said nothing as he opened the door to allow Mary to climb in.

"We must have at the time for the train wrong," Mary said firmly, as if trying to convince herself of the truth of her statement.

As the car pulled into the driveway, her family and the staff were lined up to receive them. Taking a deep breath, Mary exited the car with Elizabeth in her arms. All the faces showed surprise that Lord Grantham was not there.

"Please take Elizabeth to the nursery. She is a bit upset," Mary said as she handed the girl to her nanny.

"Of course my lady," nanny said as she took Elizabeth inside, rubbing her back soft to comfort her.

"But where is Matthew?" Cora said, giving voice to the question on everyone's mind.

"He must have taken a different train. Perhaps we had the time wrong. Where is Daisy?"

"In the kitchen my lady," Mrs. Hughes said.

"Please send her to me in the library at once. Ask her to bring the letter she received about William's leave," Mary instructed, carefully keeping her voice calm and even.

"Right away my lady," Mrs. Hughes replied, leaving quickly to quickly to fetch Daisy as requested.

"Mama, Granny, Carson, please join me in the library. Branson, please keep the car at the ready," Mary said, walking swiftly to the appointed room.

When they reached the library, Daisy was arriving in a rush. Carson ushered her into the room and then closed the door.

"Daisy, neither Matthew nor William were on the train. I must ask if perhaps you had the date or time wrong," Mary said, hoping that perhaps this was the answer.

"No, my lady. Here is the letter. It says 4:00 pm on June 10th. Perhaps William wrote it wrong," Daisy said as she passed the letter to Mary for her inspection. Mary scanned the letter which confirmed that it did indeed show that Matthew should have arrived on the 4pm train.

"Perhaps you are right. I will try to get an answer and shall let you know what I find out. You may go Daisy," Mary said. When the door closed behind Daisy, Mary turned toward the window so the others could not see her face as she bit her lip and tried to fight the fear and urge to cry. No, you need to be strong, she reminded herself. After breathing deeply for several moments and wiping her eyes, she managed to get control of herself and turned back to face the others. She resolutely walked to the desk and sat down to draft a brief note, feeling all the eyes in the room on her. When she finished, she stood again and took the note to Carson.

"Carson, have Branson take you into Ripon at once and have this telegram sent," Mary said, handing him the words she wanted delivered to Matthew's commanding officer questioning his whereabouts.

"Mary, I believe the telegram office is closed," Cora said.

"They can very well open it again. Carson, find out who runs it and go to his house if necessary. I will pay whatever they ask, just be sure it is sent as soon as possible and wait there for an answer," Mary instructed.

"I won't leave until I have one, even if it takes all night," Carson assured her.

"Thank you Carson. I knew I could count on you. And ask Mr. Bates to go to the train station and wait there to see if perhaps he arrives on a later train tonight. Mama, perhaps you could call Edith and ask if her chauffeur could take Mr. Bates and bring Matthew back if he arrives."

"Of course darling. I am certain Edith will be willing to help," Cora assured her.

"And Granny….." Mary said, trying to decide what to have her grandmother do.

"I shall call Shrimpy. He has some important office in London, so he may be able to obtain information about Matthew," Violet said.

"Isobel is expected for dinner tonight so if we have no answer by then, she must be told," Mary said.

"I will tell her," Cora offered.

"No, she is my mother-in-law so it is only right that I do, but hopefully we shall have more news by then," Mary said.

It was the worst evening Mary could remember. Although hours had passed, there was no new information on Matthew's whereabouts. Mary had to tell Isobel who broke down into tears even as Mary tried to fight her own tears which was becoming increasingly harder. Mr. Bates had returned after the last train had arrived with the sad but expected news that Matthew was not on a later train. Shrimpy had informed Violet that there was nothing he could do this evening, but that he would work on obtaining information first thing in the morning. Carson had phoned to say that the telegram operator had insisted that no reply would be forth coming that night, but had agreed to stay the night in the office after Carson insisted that he do so.

When Mary could take no more, she retired to her own room. Hanging on the door was the nightgown that reminded her of all her hopes for the evening, hopes that may have been dashed forever. Seeing it caused Mary to finally crumple to the ground and break down in tears.

"Please god, let him be alright. I don't know how to live without him anymore," Mary whispered through tears.

Mary didn't know how long she had been crying on the floor when her mother knocked softly on the door and then entered the room. Not wanting anyone to see her pain, Mary managed to stand up and tried to wipe her tears away. Her efforts were in vain though as the tears which had begun to fall would not stop.

"Oh my darling," Cora said, embracing her daughter and leading her over to the bed. When Mary's sobs quieted, Cora pressed a cup into her hands.

"What is it?" Mary asked.

"Something to make you sleep," Cora said gently.

"I can't sleep tonight, what if some news comes in, what if…"

"Darling, no news will come tonight, but if by chance it does, we will wake you right away," Cora said, urging Mary to take the cup, but Mary shook her head. "Mary, you must sleep. You were so strong today, but if you don't sleep, you won't be able to maintain that."

"I can't," Mary replied, shaking her head again.

"Give me a moment," Cora said as she stood from the bed and left the room. She returned a few moments later with a sleeping Elizabeth in her arms. She sat down next to Mary and tried again. "Drink the sleeping tonic Mary. You need to be strong for her. Sleep will give you the strength you need to make it through the next few days. No matter what happens, you don't want Elizabeth to see you fall apart."

Recognizing the truth in her mother's words, Mary reached for the cup and drank the bitter liquid down quickly. "Chances are it was a mix up and Matthew will be here soon," Cora said, hoping she sounded believable.

Mary wanted to believe her mother, but she knew that given the fact that Matthew was fighting in a war, chances were equally good that something dreadful had happened.

"I will take Elizabeth back to her nursery," Cora said.

"No, leave her here with me. She can sleep with me tonight. I don't think I could stand an empty bed tonight," Mary said. No, she most certainly could not face an empty bed and the thought that Matthew's side could be permanently empty. Before the tears could begin falling again, she reached out and took Elizabeth from Cora's arms.

Being jostled caused Elizabeth's eyes to flutter open. "Mama," Elizabeth muttered as she snuggled into Mary's neck before falling back asleep again.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Matthew leaned up against a tree wondering again how on Earth he and William had managed to get lost behind enemy lines. He shivered and pulled his coat tighter around himself, wishing he could start a fire, but knowing that doing so would alert the Germans to there presence. Shivering, he pulled his knees up to his chest to try to conserve his body heat against the January winds. There would be no sleep tonight - if the fear of capture didn't keep him up, the shivering certainly would. He cursed the army for sending him on one last patrol before his leave. If not for that damn patrol, he would be curled up in bed with Mary at this very moment. As his mind wandered to Mary, he prayed that God would be merciful and would return him to her. In the same breath, he thanked God that she didn't know to expect him so that she would be spared the worry that would plague her otherwise.

TBC

/

Author's Note: Thank you all for your kind words. It really encouraged me to keep going so I hope you liked this chapter even if it is an angst one.


	37. Chapter 37

More Than Duty Chapter 37

January 11, 1918

The feel of warm hands against her face brought Mary slowly back to consciousness. She briefly considered opening her eyes, but her head felt so heavy that instead she groaned and buried her face further into her pillow. The sound of soft giggles broke through her desire to continue sleeping and she forced her eyes open to see Elizabeth kneeling next to her.

"Mama," Elizabeth said, her little hands on Mary's cheeks. Mary rubbed the sleep from her eyes as reality came rushing back to her through the heavy fog of the sleep tonic she had taken the night before.

"Hello darling," Mary said, as she reached up and pulled to chord. After dropping a quick kiss on her daughter's head, Mary rose from the bed and pulled her dressing gown on. As she was tying the sash, the door opened revealing Anna with Mary's breakfast tray.

"I couldn't possibly eat anything," Mary said. "Is there any news?"

"Not yet my lady, but it is early yet," Anna said, pouring a cup of tea and offering it to Mary as Elizabeth climbed out of bed and hurried toward them.

Mary was about to refuse even the tea, but then changed her mind, thinking perhaps the tea could chase away the lingering effects of the sleeping tonic her mother had given her. "Thank you," she said, accepting the cup from Anna and taking a sip.

"Peas," Elizabeth said, pulling on Mary's robe and pointing to the tray Anna had down on the bedside table. Reaching out, Mary took one piece of toast from the tray and handed it to Elizabeth. Elizabeth took a bite and then made a face. Holding the toast up, she pointed to it and said "peas" again. Mary understood immediately that Elizabeth did not want dry toast and was wanting jam put on it. Mary was about to tell "no" and remind her that jam was too messy for Elizabeth to eat in Mary's room. But in truth, she was not eager to send her daughter away, and whatever Elizabeth got messy could be cleaned.

"Very well Elizabeth. You may have toast with jam in mama's room just this once," Mary said, nodding to Anna to go ahead and accede to Elizabeth's request. As Anna was doing just that, there was a short knock on the door which opened to reveal Cora.

"Did you hear something?" Mary asked.

"Not yet my darling, but I expect we will soon. Carson is still at the telegram office and your Grandmother has called Shrimpy again even before the sun had risen."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"The sun is up. We need to find a place hide until it is dark again," Matthew said. Although he was eager to make it back to allied lines, it was not safe to travel behind German lines in British uniforms. If they traveled during the day, their risk of capture was heightened, and he had no wish to sit out the rest of the war as a POW.

"What about that barn sir?" William asked, pointing toward a barn on the horizon.

Matthew wasn't comfortable with the idea of a barn where the farmer could discover them. This territory of eastern France was known to have mixed loyalties. If the farmer favored the German's, Matthew and William ran the risk that the farmer could turn them over to the German army. Hell, even if the farmer didn't favor the Germans, he might still turn them over just to prevent bringing trouble down on his roof. No, Matthew didn't like the idea, but all around them were open fields so there was no other viable options.

"We haven't much choice. We will have to find a back corner and hope we aren't noticed," Matthew said as they headed toward the barn.

\\\\\\\\

Mary was nervously pacing the sitting room when Violet entered the room.

"Oh my dear, I have news," Violet said.

"What happened? Is he okay?" Mary asked in a rush.

"I don't know. Shrimpy learned that Matthew went on patrol four days ago and never returned. The footman William was with him and has not returned either."

Mary gasped, bringing one hand to her mouth as her other hand reached out to grasp a chair to keep her from falling. "Oh God, he's dead?"

"Now my dear, we don't know anything more yet. Shrimpy assured me there are several other possibilities. He could have been captured. Or perhaps he was injured and the field hospital has not notified his unit. Or he could be trapped behind enemy lines. Or he could have deserted…"

"Matthew would never desert," Mary interjected with confidence. Although it would be preferable to Mary than his death or injury, she knew it was not a possibility - not for Matthew. "How will we know what happened? When will we hear?"

"Shrimpy promised to keep up the pressure and will let us know the moment he hears anything."

"So we just wait?"

"My dear, that is what women do during war," Violet said, patting Mary's hand and watching as Mary bit her lip to try to keep from crying.

\\\\\

"Sorry sir," William said after his stomach had produced an embarrassingly loud growl.

"Don't be. I'm starving too," Matthew confessed. It had been four long days since they had gone out on parol. Four long days without a proper meal - hell without much of anything.

"I saw a cellar door in the ground when we approached the barn. I could sneak in. I don't feel right about stealing though," William said before his stomach growled again.

Matthew thought about it for a moment. He couldn't condone stealing either, but he had a some money in his pocket that they could leave in place of the food. It wasn't as if they could walk up an buy something in their British uniforms. It would be dangerous though. Every time they emerged, they increased their chance of being caught, but truth be told, he didn't know how much further they could walk with empty bellies.

"We will leave payment for it," Matthew said. "We'll go as soon as the sun sets and head out right right after."

\\\\\\\

"Has there been any news?" Edith asked when she arrived that afternoon.

"He went on parol four days ago and has not been seen since," Cora said as she took little Henry from Edith's arms while Robbie ran across the room to play with Elizabeth.

"Oh Mary, I am so sorry," Edith said.

"Don't offer your sympathy yet," Mary retorted.

"I wasn't trying to upset you - truly. I only wanted to convey that I know how worried I would be if it was my husband that was missing and I feel for you."

Mary looked up and saw the sincerity on Edith's face and immediately regretted her hasty words. "I believe you. Thank you," Mary said, trying to find a small smile for her sister.

"What will you do about the concert on Friday?" Edith asked.

"I had forgotten about the concert. I suppose we will cancel it," Mary replied.

"I don't think canceling is wise," Violet said.

"We couldn't possibly have it under these circumstances," Mary insisted.

"A cancelation would be noticed. You don't want to alert those vultures in the press to the fact that Matthew is missing. God forbid if they printed something and we had would-be heirs coming out of the woodwork."

The thought of would-be heirs and all that meant brought tears back to Mary's eyes and she reluctantly agreed that the concert would be allowed to continue. Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash. As the group turned to look toward the sound of the crash, they saw Elizabeth and Robbie standing near and over turned chair.

"Robbie, for shame. You know better than to play roughly inside," Edith scolded.

"Sorry mama," Robbie said.

"As well you should be. Now you can either play quietly here or I can take you outside where you can have a proper run," Edith offered.

"Go outside!" Robbie exclaimed.

"Go go!" Elizabeth echoed, not wanting to be left behind.

"Would it be alright if I take her outside to play with Robbie?" Edith asked Mary. One look at her daughter reminded Mary why she needed to be strong and keep faith that Matthew would return safely.

"Yes, and I think I will join you. Some fresh air would be good for me. Mama, we won't stray far from the house. You will let me know if we receive any news?"

"Of course darling. You girls go, and I will watch little Henry," Cora assured her.

"Come, Elizabeth. Let's go outside and you can play with your cousin," Mary said, holding her hand out to the little girl.

"Pup?" Elizabeth requested.

"Yes, your puppy can come too," Mary said, before calling for dog who came running to join them.

The short time outside did Mary much good. It allowed her time to gather her thoughts without feeling as though she was being observed by many pairs of eyes. Edith seemed to understand her need for solitude and busied herself playing with the children.

After a while, Mary called out to her sister. "Edith, are you sure you should be running about with them in your condition?"

"I am a bit tired," Edith confessed. At seven and a half months pregnant, she no longer had the energy she usually did.

"Come rest with me. The children can amuse themselves for a bit," Mary said, sliding over to the side of the bench to make room for Edith.

"Mary, I don't know what to say or even if you want me to say anything at all. If you need to talk, I would be happy to listen, but if you prefer silence, then I am happy to give you that too," Edith said as she sat down.

"Why are you being so kind to me?" Mary asked.

"Because what you are going through is the scenario that haunts my dreams every night. If anyone in the family knows how you feel, it is me. And because, even if we don't always act like it, you are my sister."

"You are much nicer than you used to be," Mary replied.

"I was always nice - just not always nice to you," Edith said with a smile.

"I deserved it though. I was rarely nice to you," Mary admitted. "It was Matthew that made me want to be a nicer person."

"It is Matthew - not it was," Edith correct, squeezing Mary's hand. "You mustn't give up hope. I think he weren't okay, we would have heard or you would have sensed it."

Later when the children were all napping, Edith and Mary rejoined the family. There had been no additional news, but Mary seemed to be bearing the uncertainty as well as could be expected. "Mary, maybe we should practice our song for the concert," Edith suggested, seeking to distract Mary for a bit.

Mary had completely forgotten that she had agreed to sing at the concert, but right now any distraction was a welcome one, so she nodded and joined Edith at the piano. Edith settled herself on the bench and began to play.

Mary had picked the song weeks ago. The song - If You Were the Only Girl In The World - was from a record that Matthew had bought when he was back for the recruitment drive. As soon as the familiar tune began, Mary closed her eyes, remembering the day he had brought the recording home when they had danced to the song in the privacy of their own room.

_ "I think I shall have to speak with your dancing master," Mary had teased when she felt Matthew's hands begin to toy with the buttons at the back of her dress._

_ "And why is that?" Matthew asked, as he managed to open the top button._

_ "Because I was taught that a gentleman's hand would find its the spot where it was supposed to be and then remain in place. You my love seem to have forgotten that lesson," she said as his finger elicited a shiver from her when the second button popped open._

_ "That is interesting because I was always taught that a lady would ignore any mistakes a gentleman happened to make on the dance floor, and you my darling seem to have forgotten that lesson," Matthew replied with a grin as his fingers worked the third button._

_ "I don't know any lady who would or could ignore what you are doing now - and certainly not on a dance floor," Mary said, making him laugh as he succeeded in opening yet another button and brushed his fingers to lightly stroke her back._

_ "I would say such wonderful things to you, there would be such wonderful things to do, if you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy," he whispered in time with the music as he pushed the strap of her gown off her shoulder and kissed the newly bared skin. _

"Mary, that is where the lyrics start," Edith said gently, shaking Mary from her reverie.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. The concert can go on, but you will need to find someone else to sing," Mary said, hurrying from the room. When she reached her bedroom, she closed and locked the door behind her. She picked up Matthew's picture from the bedside table and fell to her knees, praying fervently that he was safe.

\\\\\\

When the sun had set, Matthew and William had snuck from the back to the cellar William had observed earlier in the day.

"We'll take only what we need to survive for a few days," Matthew said. Working quickly together, they grabbed a small chuck of salt pork, a few apples, and a few cans of beans. As William loaded the items up into his pack, Matthew pulled a ten pound note from his wallet. It was much more than the small amount of food was worth, but he felt guilty about taking it without permission, even though he knew it was necessary to do so. He set the money where it would be clearly visible on top of the barrel of apples.

"Let's get out of here," he said to William who nodded in agreement, but before they act on Matthew's suggestion, they heard the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked. With a feeling a dread, Matthew turned around to see a man standing in the doorway with a rifle pointed directly at them.

TBC

Author's Note: I hope you liked this chapter and that it wasn't too confusing to bounce back and forth between Mary and Matthew's stories. I know I left you with a cliff hanger but I am going to try to have another chapter for you this weekend - feedback will certainly encourage me to meet that deadline :)


	38. Chapter 38

More Than Duty Chapter 38

When Matthew turned around to find himself staring at the barrel of a rifle which was pointed directly at him, his first thought was relief that the man holding the gun was dressed in civilian clothing. That relief was short lived though as the man wielding the rifle barked out an order in French.

"Put your hands up William," Matthew said, translating the man's words while silently thanking his lucky stars that he remember his French lessons from his university days.

"We mean you no harm," Matthew spoke slowly in French hoping to calm the situation.

"You mean no harm? All either army brings is harm," the man spat out without lowering his gun. "Armies devastate fields, obstruct trade so it becomes difficult to sell what we manage to grow, and ruin the lives of people who don't care if their taxes go to Berlin or Paris so long as they are left in peace, and now I find the pair of you stealing from me despite your assurances that you mean no harm."

"We weren't stealing. We left fair payment for all we took," Matthew said.

"You expect me to believe that? You want me to let me guard down and go look only have you pull your gun when my back is turned," the man insisted.

"You needn't let down either your guard or your gun. It is right there on the top of the apple barrel," Matthew said, keeping his voice calm and his arms in the air. The man kept his gun trained on Matthew while he glanced at the barrel and saw the ten pound note laying there.

"Ten pounds? How much did you take?," the man replied in a voice that made it clear he was shocked by both the fact that Matthew had spoken true and at the sum of money he had left.

"Not much. A few apples, a bit of cured pork, and a couple cans of beans. It is all in my man's kit if you prefer to inspect it yourself. I think you will find the payment we left is more than fair."

"So you aren't thieves, but what of it. Your presence here still endangers my family and I."

"We have no desire to bring danger to you or your family, and would be pleased to leave at once," Matthew said.

"You can't think it that simple. This land is held by the Germans. You are British. You are either deserters or you managed to get yourselves trapped behind German lines. Either way it makes no difference. If the Germans find out you were here, they will think I sheltered you and such action does not go unpunished. To protect my family, I have no choice but to turn you in," the man said, but Matthew could read in his voice that while the man was willing to turn them over, he did not relish doing so.

"That is not necessary. Even if we were captured, we would never speak of you. You and your family would be perfectly safe," Matthew insisted.

"Safe? There is no such thing as safe during war. I thought my son was safe. He was a boy of seventeen, but he had a severe limp you see and was deemed unfit for service by the army. But even that did not keep him safe. He went into town to sell some of last year's harvest when the bombers appeared overhead. He wore no uniform, but he was killed none-the-less."

"I am so sorry for you loss," Matthew said, knowing that his words would bring no comfort.

"So you see, safe is never truly safe during wartime. Even if I trusted your word, what if a neighbor or a passing patrol sees you leaving my land?"

"Papa, papa, did you get my apple," a young girl with long blond curls asked as she ran into the cellar. The girl froze, her blue eyes wide with fear when she saw Matthew and William.

"No yet sweetheart. Go back inside Charlotte and I will be there shortly," he replied softly and the girl hurried to obey. "She is all I have left. Her mother died bringing her into the world so I am all she has and as I told you, her brother was taken from us, so I am all she has left too. I have no choice but to turn you over, to do otherwise would endanger her and that I cannot do."

"I understand your position, truly I do. I have a daughter of my own - a little girl who has not yet seen her second birthday. I love her every bit as much as you love your daughter. So I ask you to think of this, if you turn us over to the German army, we will be prisoners of war. You must have heard of the conditions in POW camps. Overcrowding, shortages, disease, epidemics of cholera and typhus so bad that it has spread beyond camp walls to nearby civilian populations. If you send us there, you may well be signing our death warrants and my daughter would be left without a father. So please, think of her when you decide our fate."

The man seemed to waiver a bit so Matthew took the opportunity to reach into the pocket of his jacket. "What are you doing?" the man demanded, clearing worried that Matthew was reaching for a gun.

"A picture, noting more," Matthew said calming, hoping that showing him a picture of Elizabeth would cause him to waiver further. "This is my daughter, my little Lizzie," Matthew said, handing a well-worn photograph to the man. "Her hair is blond, just like your daughter though a bit shorter," Matthew added, trying to personalize for this man as much as he possibly could.

The man was silent for several moments as he looked at the photograph before looking back to Matthew. "You truly would say nothing."

"On my honor, I would never breath a word of your assistance."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"Not that one Anna," Mary said when Anna brought her a flora blouse and tan skirt to wear for the concert. "Bring one of my black dresses."

"Now my dear, you don't want to look like you are in mourning," Cora said gently.

"Well I don't wish to look as if it is a celebratory occasion," Mary retorted.

"While you may not have news to celebrate, neither do you have news to mourn," Cora insisted.

"Oh very well, bring the black and white striped skirt," Mary finally agreed, not having the energy to fight. The last few few nights she had refused the sleeping tonic her mother offered and as a result had precious little sleep - and what sleep she did manage could hardly be called restful.

"How have we had no news for two full days? Someone must know something."

"Your grandmother says the Shrimpy was called to some war conference in Paris and has been out of contact, but he should return tomorrow and will take up the task of getting us answers as soon as he returns. I know it is difficult, but you must be patient another day."

Mary nodded but patience was growing more difficult with each day that passed. She wanted so badly to believe that everything would be fine, that Matthew would turn up without a scratch, but as each day turned to the next, more doubt began to set in. She was beginning to question more often whether she would ever see his face or feel the touch of his hand or hear his laugh again. No. she couldn't think of that right now, not when she needed to go sit in a room full of people and pretend her heart wasn't breaking.

\\\\\\\\\\\\

Shortly after the train doors opened in Ripon, Matthew stepped onto the platform, his eyes searching the crowd for Mary. His disappointment was keen when he failed to find her.

Surely she would be here, he thought. Shortly upon his return to the British lines, his commander told him that someone from London had telegrammed asking after his whereabouts repeatedly. That someone he later discovered was his wife's relation Shrimpy. He felt awful to discover that Mary knew of his disappearance and deeply regretted the fear she must have felt. Almost immediately he had a telegram sent back to Shrimpy informing him that he was safe and would arrive back at Downton the following day on the evening train. He was sure that Shrimpy would have passed that information on to Mary, but as he scanned the platform again, he did not see single face from home.

When William joined him, Matthew was still wondering where Mary was and why she had not even sent Branson to meet them. The only thing Matthew could think was that perhaps the message did not arrive for surely if she knew he was on this train, she would have been here to meet him. He quickly came to the conclusion that they would have to walk to the Abbey. He set a quick pace and soon the two stood before the main door.

They only had to wait a moment until Carson answered the door.

"My lord! Your here," Carson said, unable to hid either his surprise or his pleasure in Matthew's unexpected return.

"I take it the message I sent yesterday was not received?"

"No sir, it most certainly was not. You can be sure I will go directly to the telegram office and voice our displeasure with their failure in delivering it," Carson replied, his indignation rising at this failure of duty.

"No, I sent the message to Shrimpy in London, not the office in Ripon. I thought it would be the fastest way, that he would call Mary or Cousin Violet as soon as he received it," Matthew explained. "Where is my wife?" Matthew asked, not wanting her to worry for him a moment longer.

"This way sir. She is at the concert that is being put on for the entertainment of the injured men," Carson explained. When Carson pushed open the doors of the room where the concert was being held, Matthew walked in to see Sybil singing up on a small stage. His eyes though searched the room for the one he most wanted to see.

Mary had only been half listening to Sybil, but even Mary noticed when Sybil's voice trailed off halfway through the song, her eyes locked on something at the back of the room. Curious as to what could have so ensnared her sister's attention, Mary turned in her seat to look. She gasped and blinked a few times, for surely her eyes were playing a cruel trick on her for she could have sworn it was Matthew standing there. But then his eyes met hers and he began moving swiftly toward her. Heedless of all around her she stood up and began moving as quickly as she could manage into the aisle. She tripped over the legs of the soldier stilling on the end of the row, but Matthew was there and caught her in his arms before she could fall.

"Thank God," was all she could say as he held her close. When she pulled slightly back to look into his eyes, she was smiling as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Oh my darling," Matthew whispered as he gently brushed her tears away. Before he could say more, her lips her on his and she was kissing him passionately. Mary could hear the laugher and clapping of the men around them, but at the moment, she did not care a bit. The only thing that mattered was that Matthew was home and appeared well.

"Darling, I fear we are becoming part of the show," he whispered, when he gently broke their kisses. Mary surprised him by ignoring his words and kissing him again. Propriety meant little when she was able to indulge in kissing him when she feared she might never be able to do so again.

The sound of Violet loudly clearing her throat was enough to cause Matthew to draw back again. This time, Mary was willing to allow his lips to be parted from hers, but she held his hand tightly, as if she were afraid that if she let go he might disappear.

"Oh my boy," Isobel said, enveloping Matthew in a hug that was slightly awkward as Mary continued to hold onto one of his hands. Though all the greetings, Mary cling tightly to Matthew and his eyes lefts hers only for the briefest of moments.

"If you will forgive us, my brother-in-law Lord Grantham has made an unexpected return," Sybil said from the stage. "If we could have a short intermission, we can continue the concert in ten minutes."

Matthew spent the next several minutes explaining his misadventure to the family and discovering that Shrimpy had gone to Paris for a war council meetings resulting in his message going astray.

"I am so very sorry to have worried you," Matthew said, his arm wrapped tightly around Mary's waist as he kissed the top of her head.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you are here now," Mary said, smiling up at him.

"Well, you have a French farmer, his daughter, and Lizzie to thank for that," Matthew replied.

"Elizabeth? What do you mean?" Mary asked.

Matthew explained what had happened, how the man was planning to turn them over to the Germans until Matthew spoke of Lizzie. "It took him some time to agree to let us go, but in the end he did. He wouldn't want to leave his daughter without a father and finally decided he couldn't be the cause of bringing that fate to my daughter either. Once he decided, he was most helpful. He gave us food, civilian clothing, and a map in exchange for our solemn promise not to divulge his assistance if we were captured. I offered him all the money I had in my wallet but he wouldn't take payment," Matthew told him. What he didn't say was that before they departed, he left a note and the money back in the cellar asking the farmer to use it for his daughter's sake.

The intermission passed quickly and soon the music was about to begin again. "Must we?" Mary asked when Matthew gestured toward the seats that had been vacated for them. Seeing the need in her eyes, Matthew smiled and softly shook his head. He lifted her hand to his mouth and gently kissed it before easing his hand from hers. He climbed the few steps up onto the stage to address the crowd.

"I wanted to offer my sincerest apologies for interrupting your entertainment. If it hadn't been so long so long since I had a proper meal, I should be pleased to join you. As it is, I ask that you enjoy the rest of the show and I hope to meet many of you in the coming days," Matthew said. When he rejoined Mary, she quickly look the arm he offered.

"I think I should see to his dinner," Mary told her family, grateful for the excuse he had provided them.

"Of course dear," Cora said with a smile that suggested she knew the real reason the couple was so eager to escape.

When they were safely from the room, Matthew pulled Mary into his arms and kissed her. His lips had barely touched hers when she pressed herself fully against him, entwining her arms around his neck.

"Are you really hungry?" Mary asked when she pulled back several moments later.

"Starving," he answered, his eyes meeting hers, "But not for food."

"Well then," Mary replied "I suppose we had best sate your hunger."

When they reached their bedroom, Mary pulled him to her, her lips seeking his. Her hands were not idle either and soon began trying to divest him of his clothing.

"I think perhaps you are hungry as I am darling," he said with a laugh as she unbuckled his belt.

"Is that a bad thing?" Mary asked, her fingers attempting to work the buttons of his shirt.

"It is the very best thing," Matthew replied, laughing again at her frustration when the buttons of his shirt were not opening quickly enough for her liking. "You could always try pulling it," he suggested with a grin. His jaw fell open with shock when she actually acted on his suggestions and the buttons when flying from his shirt onto the floor. He laughed even harder when he saw the expression on Mary's face - a cross between desire, shock, and embarrassment. "Well, it will be interesting handing that to Bates to mend." Before Mary could worry about what they would say, Matthew was kissing her again and thoughts of anything but him flew from her head.

TBC


	39. Chapter 39

More Than Duty Chapter 39

When Matthew awoke, he smiled at the sight of Mary curled next to him with her dark hair splayed across her face and his chest. Reaching down, he softly brushed the hair away from her face. Rather than withdraw his hand, his fingers seemed to linger of their own accord, stroking her cheek and then moving to outline her lips.

"Mmmmm," he heard as she began to respond to his touch. Seconds later, her eyes opened slowly and met his.

"Good morning my darling," Matthew said as he continued softly touching her face.

"Good morning," Mary responded, shifting her body so she was laying on his chest and looking up into his face. Unable to help himself, Matthew drew her face up so that her lips could meet his. He sighed at the familiar feeling of Mary's hands wandering into his hair as her mouth opened to his while his hands caressed her back. After several long, leisurely kisses, Matthew rolled them over, carefully balancing the bulk of his weight on his forearms so as not to discomfort her.

"I thought we would have sated your hunger last night," Mary said with a soft laugh as she looked up into his face.

"This particular hunger is one I don't think will ever been fully sated - certainly not with you laying next to me without a stitch of clothing on," Matthew replied, letting his fingers trace down her sides, his fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Well, I would be a poor wife indeed if I didn't see to my husband's hunger," Mary replied, arching into his touch while drawing him in for another kiss. Soon, all thoughts of everything but each other had abandoned them as they lost themselves in the simple joy of physically expressing their love.

"Well, if that didn't sate you, it should at least hold you over until this evening," Mary teased much later when he rolled onto his back and tried to catch his breath.

"Well, perhaps not until tonight, but until this afternoon at least," Matthew replied when she rolled into his arms and made herself conformable against his chest.

"Glutton," Mary responded with a laugh, reveling in the carefree feeling of not needing to worry about his safety for the time being. "How will you entertain yourself until then?"

"Enjoying my family, playing with Lizzie, and I suppose I ought to deal with the matter of Branson and Sybil. Has anything changed on that front since you wrote last?," Matthew replied.

"No. She says only that he claims he loves her but she doesn't know how she feels. It is completely ridiculous, but if we send him away, that may encourage Sybil to do something rash. Whereas if we just wait until this blasted war is over and the young men come home, perhaps she will find someone more appropriate and forget this silly episode. What will you do?"

"I don't know yet. I suppose I won't until I speak with both of them."

"You can't seriously be thinking of encouraging this," Mary said, staring at her husband in disbelief.

"Encourage? No. Permit? Perhaps. It depends on what they both have to say," Matthew said calmly as he watched the astonishment wash over Mary's face.

"But he's a servant and she's the…."

"the daughter of an earl. Yes, I am well aware of that. Need I remind you that you are the daughter of an earl and yet here I am - a middle class solicitor - lounging in you bed."

"That is completely different. And besides, you are an earl yourself, my lord," Mary pointed out.

"Only recently, and I will always be a solicitor at heart," Matthew admitted.

"Even you must admit that the distance in social standing between you and I was never as great as it is between Sybil and Branson. What would their lives be like? He wouldn't be accepted in her social circle and she would not fit in his?"

"Sybil is an intelligent girl. I am sure she will consider that. And if Branson convinces me that his intentions are honorable and agrees to follow the rules I lay down, and if Sybil decides this is the path she desires to take, then it is not for us to stand in the way. Remember my darling, you were able to make your own choices, and so was Edith. How can we deny that to Sybil just because you would make a different choice?"

"I hope you don't expect me to refrain from trying to reason with her, from trying to get her to change her mind."

"Not at all. She should should know as much as possible before making her decision. But once she has made it, I expect you to respect it."

"Oh, you expect me to do you," Mary said, pushing herself up on her elbows and raising an eyebrow at him.

"Well you did vow to obey me," Matthew couldn't resist teasing when he saw her stern look.

"Did I? I don't remember that," Mary replied.

"You most certainly did, although that wasn't my favorite of your vows," Matthew said, reaching out and bringing her hand to his lips. "Besides, I never really expected you to abide by that particular vow. I don't want you to try to accept Sybil's decision because of an order, but because it is the right thing to do."

"Very, I shall try, but only once her decision is final," Mary agreed.

"Just be as nice as I know you are," Matthew said.

"You think me nice. No one else does. What makes you so sure I am?" Mary asked, raising her eyebrow in challenge.

"Because I've seen you naked and held you in my arms. I know the real you."

"My, my what a testimonial."

"In fact, I think it high time I saw you so again," Matthew said, throwing the covers back to reveal her to him. He could not help himself as his lips captured the skin at the base of her neck.

"I thought you were sated," Mary said with a laugh. As if on cue, Matthew's stomach let out a loud rumble that made Mary giggle. "It seems you have other hungers as well."

"Well someone distracted me from dinner last night," Matthew said. Realizing that he was indeed quite hungry after missing dinner last night, Matthew reached up and pulled the chord to summon Anna to bring their breakfast trays. Kissing Mary lightly on the top of the head, Matthew stood up from the bed and strode across the room to her vanity where her dressing gown was draped. After bringing it to her, Matthew headed for his dressing room where he donned his own robe. When he returned, Mary had tied her dressing gown around her and was sitting in the bed, her back resting against the head board.

"Good morning my lord. Good morning my lady," Anna said when she entered the room with the breakfast tray several minutes later. After setting the tray on the bed, Anna walked to the windows and drew the curtains. As the light rushed in, Mary was surprised to see just how late in the morning it actually was.

"Is Elizabeth awake yet?" Mary asked Anna, surprised that her daughter had not been brought in much earlier as was her custom.

"Yes is my lady, but your mother was worried about your lack of sleep recently and instructed that you not be disturbed. Shall I have Lady Elizabeth brought to you?" Anna asked.

"Yes please," Mary responded, blushing only slightly.

"Of course my lady," Anna said as she exited the room to seek out Elizabeth and her nanny.

"Goodness, how much food does Mrs. Patmore think you eat?" Mary said when Matthew lifted the lid on his plate which was piled high with eggs, ham, beans, toast, and marmalade.

"Trust me my darling, I will have no problem finishing all of this. This is a veritable feast after what I have become accustomed to of late," Matthew said as he shoveled a large bite of eggs into his mouth. Matthew was true to his word and quickly finished all the food on his plate and even some of hers as well. As he was finishing the last bite, there was a knock on the door. Smiling, Mary lifted the tray with the empty plates and deposited it on the vanity on her way to the door.

"Well good morning Elizabeth," Mary said with she opened the door and took Elizabeth from the nanny's arms. "I have a surprise for you my darling," Mary said after kissing the girl's cheek.

"Cake?" Elizabeth guessed with a grin.

"No, my darling, not cake. This surprise is much, much better than cake," Mary said with a laugh as she walked back into the room.

"Papa!" Elizabeth shouted as soon as she saw Matthew lounging on the bed. Mary smiled and set Elizabeth on the ground. Elizabeth lost no time in running to Matthew repeating "papa" over and over as Mary looked on, pleased to enjoy the sight of Matthew wrapping their daughter in a tight hug.

"You are so big, you couldn't possibly be my little Lizzie," Matthew said.

"Me Izzy," Elizabeth assured him.

"See Elizabeth, I told you the surprise was better than cake," Mary said as she walked to the bed and sat down next to Matthew and Elizabeth.

"Papa and cake?" Elizabeth asked, sitting in Matthew's lap and smiling up at him.

"I am sure we can find you some cake later," Matthew said, cutting Mary off before she could gently remind Elizabeth not to be greedy with surprises. Matthew was home so little though that if he wanted to indulge his daughter Mary was not going to prevent him from doing so.

"You spoil her," Mary said with a smile as she leaned in to kiss Matthew.

"No, my Papa" Elizabeth said firmly, holding her little arm out to stop Mary's lips from reaching Matthew's face.

"Yes, your Papa. But you see Elizabeth, Mama loves you very much, yet still I share you with Papa. So too must share Papa with you Mama because we both love him very much," Mary explained.

"My papa," Elizabeth said again, this time her eyes welling up with tears as she clutched his arm.

"My sweet girl, I am not going anywhere," Matthew said, realizing that when he leaned over to meet Mary's kiss, the poor child probably thought he was leaving again already.

"Papa no train?"

"No, no train today. Today I am all yours - and your Mama's." This time when Matthew leaned over to kiss Mary, Elizabeth made no fuss, but neither did she release her grasp on Matthew's arm.

"Goodness, if she doesn't want to share with her Mama, how much trouble will she be when she has to learn to share with a sibling?" Matthew said with a laugh Then, realizing the delicate nature of the subject better left unsaid. "Oh God Mary, I am sorry."

"Don't be. All I wanted for the past week was for you to return safely and you did. It would be greedy to ask for more right now," she replied as she squeezed his hand.

TBC

Author's Note: I am still working on writing the scene with Matthew dealing with the Sybil/Tom issue. It was intended to be part of this chapter but I decided to separate it into its own chapter so as not to make you wait. That being said, I hope to have the next chapter up this weekend. Feedback always encourages me to work faster :)


	40. Chapter 40

More Than Duty Chapter 40

All morning, Matthew had felt as though he had another shadow as Elizabeth absolutely refused to let him out of her sight lest she begin screaming. After spending he and Mary spent the morning playing with Elizabeth, Matthew had attempted to leave for a short time to attend to some necessary business, but Elizabeth's lips had quivered and soon she was sobbing when Matthew reached the door. Unable to be the cause of her tears, Matthew had turned back and scooped her up into his arms, promising that she could go with him.

"Someday you will have to learn to say no to her," Mary said with an indulgent smile.

"Someday, yes, but not today. Not when she seems so fearful that I will disappear again if she lets me out of her sight for even a short time," Matthew replied, rubbing Lizzie's back as she clung to him lest he forget his promise.

"You are right. Today is not the day for that lesson. Would you like me to come and look after her so you can get your business done?" Mary asked.

"It's not necessary. I am sure I can handle her on my own if there is something you would rather do," Matthew said.

While there was nothing Mary preferred over spending time with her husband and daughter, she wanted to give Matthew some time alone with their little girl. "Well, I could do my daily round of checking on the patients if you think you can handle her for an hour or so."

"Of course. Take your time darling. I am sure Lizzie and I will be just fine," Matthew said before kissing Mary's cheek and then heading to the library with Elizabeth in his arms and her dog trailing after them.

When they reached the library, Matthew pulled the chord to ring for Carson. While he waited for the butler to arrive, he settled Lizzie on the floor by his chair where she quietly petted her dog, giggling whenever it licked her face.

"You rang, your lordship," Carson said when he arrived.

"Yes Carson, can you please send Branson to me."

"Is there somewhere you wish to go? I can have him bring the car around right away."

"No, the car won't be necessary. I need to speak with him about a private matter," Matthew replied.

"Of course, right away," Carson said with a nod, wondering what private business his lordship might have with the chauffeur, but realizing that it was not his place to ask, Carson left to see to the request.

Several minutes later, the door opened and Branson walked in. "You wished to see me, my lord," Branson said.

At the sound of Branson's voice, Elizabeth looked up, the alarm clear in her face. "Papa go car?" she asked.

"No, sweetheart. Papa is not going in the car," Matthew assured her, but Elizabeth continued to eye Branson with suspicion. "Please, have a seat," Matthew said to Branson, gesturing to the chair directly across from his own. Branson hesitated for only a moment before sitting in the chair.

After a few moments of silence, Tom began to feel a bit nervous. "May I ask why you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, of course. I apologize, I was only gathering my thoughts before we began. Several weeks ago, Mary had a conversation with her sister, Lady Sybil. A conversation which revolved around you as it turns out."

"Nothing improper has passed between us," Tom insisted as he jumped to his feet.

"No, I did not think it had," Matthew replied.

"Am I to be let go?" Tom asked.

"That is not my intention - at least at this point, but I do not believe I can make any decisions until we have discussed the matter. Now please sit back down and we will discuss this calmly, especially with my daughter present." Tom swallowed hard, nodded, and back down. "Now, Mary tells me you claim to have feelings for Sybil," Matthew said.

"I don't claim to have feelings for her, I do have feelings for her. I love her."

"And you have told her this?" Matthew asked, unaware that it had gone that far.

"I have told her that and more. She loves me too - she is just scared to admit it," Tom replied firmly.

"Perhaps you are right about her feelings, but perhaps you are wrong," Matthew mused, observing Tom.

"I'm not wrong. She is just scared."

"If that is true, you must remember that she has good reason to be afraid. Even if she does return your feelings as you believe, in accepting you, she would be taking a huge leap into the unknown. Her life would change forever. I mean no offense, but surely you must see that you are not at all the person her family expected for her."

"Do you think she is the person my family wanted for me?" Tom challenged. "I assure you, she is not and I doubt my family will like the situation any more than yours does. An English aristocrat is hardly the desire of Irish patriots. But it doesn't matter what others think."

"To you, it might not. It may still matter to her."

"What about you?"

"Well, it isn't my choice to make - it is hers," Matthew replied.

"So you are not sending me away?"

"No, so long as you abide by my rules," Matthew replied.

"And they are?" Tom asked.

"You won't pressure her. She will make her decision in her own time. If she decides against accepting you, you will accept that. If that happens and you feel that you cannot stay on, you will be given a reference and will leave without making a scene."

"And if she does accept me?" Tom asked.

"Then I will accept her decision provided you find an adequate means of supporting her - something you might want to begin working on now. You cannot remain a chauffeur married to one of ladies of the house."

"I never wanted to be a chauffeur forever," Tom admitted.

"One more thing," Matthew added. "You won't touch her unless and until she asks you to. And even then, you will remember that she is a lady and will not indulge in any activities which are not appropriate for unmarried ladies."

"Is that your way of reminding me to keep my hands to myself?" Tom asked.

"And your lips as well. If I hear even a whisper of inappropriate behavior on your part, you will be dismissed that day."

"I wouldn't do that anyway."

"Good, but a reminder never hurts. Now, if you accept my conditions, you are feel to carry on as you have been."

"I accept, and thank you. You were much more understanding than I had expected."

"Yes well, war has a way of teaching a person how to separate what matters from what doesn't. Beyond that, I seem to have a soft spot for underdogs," Matthew admitted with a sheepish smile.

"Well, I am certainly that. Thank you again my lord," Tom said as he rose to leave.

When he was almost to the door, Matthew called out his name and Tom turned around. "You didn't ask about her settlement," Matthew said.

"I never expected any girl I wed to have a settlement. It doesn't matter to me if she has one or not and certainly would never occur to me to ask," Tom said with a shrug.

"Good man, I wish you luck," Matthew said, shaking Tom's hand now that he was sure his motives were pure. There would be a settlement, the same as he gave Edith, but this was not the time to discuss that.

When Tom had left, Matthew picked up Elizabeth and settled her on the sofa with him. "What would you like to do sweetheart?" Matthew asked.

"Cake?" Elizabeth asked.

"Perhaps after your nap," Matthew said, recalling Mary's displeasure last time he was home when he allowed Lizzie to eat sweets before her nap time only to have the child then refuse to take her nap.

"No nap," Elizabeth said, shaking her head back and forth to emphasize her point.

"Well, we will have to see what your mama has to say about that," Matthew said.

"No mama say. Papa say," Lizzie said, smiling up at him causing Matthew to laugh at how quickly she learned.

"Oh so you think you have a better chance with Papa do you," Matthew said, tickling her to make her laugh with him. "Now then, no cake and no nap. so what shall we do?"

"Book?" Lizzie requested.

That was a request Matthew was more than happy to grant, but he seriously doubted that she had any interest in any of the book in the library so he pulled the chord to summon Carson.

"It seems Lizzie would like a book," Matthew said when Carson arrived.

"Very good. I shall have one brought from Lady Elizabeth's nursery immediately," Carson replies.

"You could call her Elizabeth or if Lizzie even if you'd like," Matthew said, amused by the butler's insistence on calling the little girl Lady Elizabeth.

"I most certainly could not. It would be beneath her dignity for me to speak so familiarly to her," Carson said firmly.

"Beneath her dignity? She is not yet two," Matthew said, the amusement clear in his voice.

"Izzy!" the little girl shouted.

"All the same, she is the daughter of the Earl of Grantham. As such, she commands respect. Now if you will excuse me, I shall fetch her book of fairy tales," Carson said as he withdrew from the room. When Carson returned, he was carrying not only Lizzie's book of fairy tales, but also her favorite blanket and teddy bear. Grinning up at Carson, Elizabeth reached out for her bear. When she hugged it to her chest, Carson leaned over and tucked the blanket about her legs. "It is rather cold this afternoon, even with the fire fully stoked," Carson explained. His affection was for Elizabeth was clear, even if he did insist on maintaining proprieties.

"Yes of course. Thank you Carson," Matthew said, taking the book and opening it to find a story.

"Will that be all sir? Carson asked.

"Yes, but please see to it that Mrs. Patmore has cake or some other treat for Lizzie this afternoon?"

"Cake!" Lizzie repeated.

"Of course sir. I believe she is working on Lady Elizabeth's favorite chocolate cake as we speak."

"Mmmmm" Lizzie said, cuddling into her father's side as he opened the book to begin her story. Matthew was not halfway through the story when he realized that Elizabeth had fallen asleep leaned up against him. Setting the book aside, he happily remained still so as not to disturb her rest, content merely to look upon her as he so rarely had the opportunity to do.

Matthew could not have said how long Lizzie had been asleep when the door opened. He looked over his shoulder expecting to see Mary, but was surprised to see Cora instead.

"Oh Matthew, I was looking for Mary," Cora said. Matthew brought a finger to his lips and inclined his head toward Elizabeth who Cora noticed sleeping against him. "Oh, I am sorry," Cora said, much lower this time.

"I expect Mary will be here soon. Please have a seat," Matthew said, gesturing to the sofa across from him.

"She is quite precious, isn't she," Cora said, looking straight at the sleeping Elizabeth.

"The most precious thing in the world," Matthew agreed, brushing the soft blond curls from Lizzie's face.

"She reminds me so much of Mary when she young," Cora said.

"Really? When she smiles, it is Mary's smile, but other than that I don't see much of Mary in her appearance," Matthew said.

"I didn't mean in appearance. No, in appearance, she is all you," Cora admitted. "But in all other ways, Elizabeth is very much like how her mother was as a child."

"Tell me of Mary when she was young," Matthew requested.

"Mary wasn't always the girl you met when you first came to Downton. By then, Mary had built up walls around her heart to protect herself from the hurts and disappointments she had come to know all too well. But when she was little, Mary was very different. She was so lively, laughed easily, and always made me smile. She was so free and open. It was rare indeed when she wasn't happy and smiling. She lost that for a while, but I think you have brought that back in some measure - you and Elizabeth. When I see her with you or with Elizabeth, especially when she doesn't know anyone is watching, I can see the walls she built up fall away and Mary becomes the girl she used to be once again," Cora explained.

"What changed her?" Matthew asked.

"Everything changed when Mary was ten. By then, it had been five years since I had delivered Sybil and there had been no signs of another baby despite our efforts. Robert had given up hope of having a son and thought it was time to groom Patrick as heir. So one day, he took Mary into this room, sat her down, and explained to her that one day, her home would belong to her cousin Patrick and that she would be expected to marry him. She took it very hard. Mary adored Robert, when she was little, she was his constant shadow. But on that day, her Papa, whom she loved and trusted above all others, shattered her dreams. She always knew that if she had a brother that he would be heir, but never before had she considered that if no brother came, that she would not be heiress. And while she knew that she would be expected to make a good marriage, she had thought she would have some level of choice in the matter. From that day on, something in Mary changed. She was more skeptical, given more toward distrust, and angry at the world that took away all ever wanted simply because she had been born a girl. It was as if she was always trying to protect herself."

"I am sure my arrival didn't help matters," Matthew said.

"No, not at first. But you've been good for her. She's happy now. Oh she misses and fears for you when you are gone, but even still she is happier than she has been in years."

"I am glad I have been able to make her happy," Matthew said.

"Of course you make me happy," he heard from the doorway as Mary walked in.

"How long have you been there?" Matthew asked, hoping she had not overheard Cora telling him about the day that had changed her.

"I just walked in," Mary said with a smile that told Matthew she had not overheard her mother. "How long has she been sleeping?" Mary asked.

"Maybe a half hour, but I'm not sure," Matthew said as Mary sat on the other side of Elizabeth. Matthew smiled as she carefully tucked the blanket under Elizabeth's legs where it had come loose.

"Do you think we should take her to her nursery?" Matthew asked.

"If you'd like. But if you aren't uncomfortable with her against you like that, she can have her nap here," Mary replied.

"Let her have her nap here then," Matthew said. Mary nodded and slipped her hands under the blanket to remove Elizabeth's shoes so she would be more comfortable while she slept. "Have I told you lately what a wonderful mother you are?" Matthew asked. Mary beamed at him as she continued her task.

Soon Mary and her mother were chatting quietly leaving Matthew to ponder Cora's words. While his heart went out to Mary for the unfairness and disappointment she had suffered, it wasn't Mary his mind was focused on. Instead, he found himself wondering if he and Mary were unable to have a son, how could he tell Lizzie what Robert had to tell Mary? How could he risk crushing her spirit and her dreams? The simple answer was he knew he couldn't, and yet, what other choice would he have. Who knew better than him how tightly the entail was tie? As he looked down on his treasured daughter, she snuggled in closer to him and he knew the truth - that he couldn't do it. He resolved in that moment that as soon as this war was over, he would begin to quietly look into the entail to see if perhaps there was something he had missed. And in the mean time, he still had two weeks of leave and with any luck, Mary would be pregnant before he had to return to the front.

TBC

Author's Note: Not sure if the next chapter will be before Matthew leaves to return to the front or if it will be after he leaves. I am still trying to work that out. I wanted Matthew to see why Mary is so worried about having a son and now I think he does. But unlike Mary, Matthew is going to try for a backup plan just in case, but it remains to be seen if he finds anything. Let me know what you think :)


	41. Chapter 41

More Than Duty Chapter 41

Mary had been sleeping comfortably, her head resting on Matthew's chest, when she was suddenly jolted awake when Matthew began to thrash about violently. Her eyes flew open to reveal that despite his movements, Matthew was still sleeping, but his sleep was not at all peaceful. His forehead was damp with sweat and when Mary bought her hand up to his neck she could feel that his pulse was racing. As Matthew's thrashing became more pronounced, Mary sat up in the bed and tried to decide how to proceed. Knowing that she needed to wake Matthew from the nightmare he was clearly suffering from, Mary gently placed her hands on his cheeks.

"Matthew, wake up," Mary implored, but he only continued to toss about, his eyes firmly closed as his breathing quickened and became irregular. Mary had seen this a few times before when he was home during last summer's recruitment drive, but it worried her every time. Moving one hand to his shoulder, Mary firmly shook him. "Wake up darling," Mary said louder this time. Another firm shake and his eyes flew open as he came awake with a gasp. Disoriented, his eyes tried to adjust to the dark room. Feeling her soft hands against his face brought him a measure of calm, but he still couldn't be sure if she was real or if he was still dreaming. "Mary?" he asked, confused

"I'm here," she said calmly, one hand moving from his cheek up to his hair. Running her fingers softly though his hair, felt his arm come around her waist and pull her close. He breathed in deeply, the familiar scent of his wife assured him that this was in fact real.

"I'm sorry I disturbed your sleep, my darling," he whispered.

"Oh Matthew, it wasn't your fault," Mary assured him. She wanted to tell him that she hated seeing him like that, that she worried every time it happened, but she didn't know how to voice that in a way that wouldn't make him feel guilty for causing her concern. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

"No," Matthew said firmly. God no, he thought. It was bad enough that he had to see the terrible things he had during the war, that he had to relive them at night, but that was something he never wanted Mary to see or even think of.

"Are you certain? Perhaps it would help," Mary said.

"Very certain," Matthew said.

Looking up at his face, Mary saw his jaw was clenched tightly as he stared at the ceiling. "You don't need to protect me from it darling," Mary said carefully.

"Yes, I do. I don't want you to have to imagine the things I've seen. I don't want you to know what it is like to…." he trailed off. He couldn't tell her about the feeling of terror in the moment before the whistle blew to give the order to go over, the chaos and noise of battle, the feeling of shooting his rifle and never knowing who or how many he may have killed.

"Oh Matthew, I assure you I can bear whatever it is. I am stronger than you may think," Mary said, squeezing his arm in hopes of encouraging him to open up.

"My darling, I know you are strong - so very strong - but my darling once you see a thing, even if you only saw it in your mind from the description I gave, you could never remove that image from your head. You might not think on it all the time, but it would be there in the background ready to be recalled at any time, even when it is unwanted. It is bad enough that I am haunted by these sights I have seen. I won't have you haunted too," Matthew said as he stroked her hair.

"Very well darling," Mary said, not wanting to tell him that she would imagine the terrors he endured whether he described them to her or not - that she had imagined them every day he was gone. But knowing that would only cause him more pain, she kept silent and let him simply hold her until his breath and heart beat returned to a normal rate.

"Mary," he finally said softly, not sure if she was still awake.

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking. You know what I said about it being impossible to forget an image once it has been seen?"

"Yes, and if you don't wish to speak of it, I won't press you to do so," Mary said, her hand rubbing his chest in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.

"I am glad of that, but that wasn't what I was thinking of. I have to leave in two days, and I would not have Lizzie be there to see to see me go. She will cry or ask me to stay, I know she will, and I can't bear to leave her with a memory of me walking away from her as she cries and begs me to stay."

"Oh Matthew, she is still so young, she will soon forget," Mary replied.

"She might, but then again she might not and I certainly won't forget. I can't endure the thought that if something should happen and I don't come back, that it could be the last memory she would have of me."

"We will do whatever you want. If you wish to say goodbye to Elizabeth here or not say goodbye to her at all, then that is what we will do, but please darling, don't speak of not coming back," Mary said.

"I'm sorry darling. You should go back to sleep," Matthew said, kissing the top of her head.

"You need to sleep too, more than I do in truth," Mary said, knowing that he had to leave again the day after tomorrow and got precious little true rest at the front.

"I will, as soon as you are sleeping," Matthew said, but Mary knew he was lying. Every other night when he had awoken in such a state, he had stared been unable to find sleep again that night. But at least on those nights, he was not so close to having to leave for the front again. No, he needed to sleep, needed as much rest as possible before he returned to the danger of the trenches. She knew her pleas for him to sleep though would do no good, so she came up with another idea - the only way she knew for certain to get him to sleep.

She snuggled against his chest and then slowly let her hand drift down his stomach as she pressed soft kisses to his chest.

"Darling, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Well, I should think it would be obvious," she replied, as she moved her leg in between his.

"You don't need to. I'm fine now and I won't speak of any more unpleasantness tonight. I promise you," Matthew said.

"Good, I don't want anymore unpleasantness tonight," Mary said, shifting on top of his and slowly kissing a trail up his neck, then across his jaw line, and finally claiming his lips in a searing kiss. She wanted to make him forget the images that were troubling him, wanted him to lose himself in her, wanted to give him more pleasant memories for him to recall when they were apart. She smiled against his lips when she felt his body respond to her. With a moan, she pulled away from his lips and sat up, straddling his waist. Her eyes were locked on his as she reached down and pulled her nightgown over her head in one smooth motion.

"Now there's an imageI hope never to forget," Matthew said, pushing himself into a sitting position and kissing her. His arms wrapped around her waist as her legs wrapped around his back.

"Well if you do ever forget, you need only say so and I will happily remind you," Mary responded. Soon, speech became impossible for both of them. Later, when he collapsed against her, he was sweating and his heart was racing again, but he was smiling tenderly at her and the haunted look had left his eyes.

"I love you, my darling. So very much," he told her when his breathing had calmed again.

"I love you too," Mary responded. After a few minutes she added the words she felt but had always been afraid to voice. "I love you so very much it scares me." But when she looked down, he was already asleep, his head resting against her chest and his arm flung across her waist. She smiled thinking how odd it was that they seemed to have swapped their normal sleeping position. Running her fingers softly through his hair, she wondered how long she would be awake haunted by the images he thought to protect her from.

\\\\\\\\\\\

Matthew awoke the next morning to find himself resting against Mary's chest. He looked up to find her smiling indulgently at him.

"I'm so sorry darling. I must have been crushing you," he said rolling onto his back so she no longer had to bear his weight.

"Well since I have crushed you every other night, you hardly need apologize," Mary said, smiling as she rolling into her usually position against his chest.

"You weigh next to nothing darling. You could never crush me," Matthew replied with a laugh.

"Well, I can't say you weigh next to nothing, but I am not complaining," Mary replied, kissing him lightly upon the lips. "Now, if you drool on me, you may well find yourself pushed away," she teased.

"Did you sleep?" he asked, brushing her hair off her face.

"A little, but you did and you need it more," she replied.

"Darling, I hate to think that I robbed you of your sleep."

"You mustn't worry about me. I shall get plenty of sleep once you have left. Now, why don't we go get our little girl. Elizabeth can have her breakfast here with us," Mary suggested.

When Mary and Matthew entered the nursery, Lizzie was sitting up in her bed playing with her doll.

"Good morning sweetheart," Matthew said causing her to look up in surprise as it was usually nanny who came to get her in the morning.

"Papa. Mama. Izzy up" she said with a grin.

"Indeed you are darling. Would you like to have a special breakfast in bed with Mama and Papa?" Mary asked as she knelt down next to her bed. She nodded with excitement and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

"Doll?" she asked.

"Yes, your doll may come too," Matthew said, leaning down to pick up the doll and hand it to Lizzie. He was rewarded with a sloppy kiss on his cheek from his daughter.

"We can do whatever you want today sweetheart. We'll make it a special day for you," Matthew told her.

"No nap?" she requested causing him to laugh.

"Well, we will have to ask your Mama about that, but perhaps.

"If you are very good, you may skip your nap," Mary told her causing Elizabeth to smile in triumph before she chatter in comprehensively to her doll. "If she skips her nap today, she will sleep late tomorrow and you can sneak out before she has awoken," Mary told Matthew.

Matthew happily spent the entire day with his girls, but the evening came all too soon. He and Mary had handed Elizabeth off to her nanny for a bath with the promise that she would bring the little girl back to them once she was clean and dressed for bed. When they returned to their room to await Elizabeth's return, Matthew walked over to the gramophone and put a record on.

"Dance with me?" he requested, holding a hand out to Mary. Smiling, she accepted his offer. He held her slightly closer than was strictly proper, but Mary was not about to complain.

"Have I told you how much I enjoy dancing with you?" Mary asked.

"No, I don't think you have."

"Well I do. So much in fact that sometimes when you are gone, I put on a record we have danced to before, close my eyes, and remember."

"Even the dances that were less than proper?"

"Especially those," Mary said with a seductive smile.

"Well then, I suppose I shall have to ask you for another dance after our darling little girl has gone to sleep."

"My dance card is all yours," Mary replied.

"Sometimes, I still can't believe you are all mine. I love you more with each day that passes. No matter what happens, you must never forget that."

"Oh my darling, me too," Mary said, but before she could lean in to kiss him, their door opened and Elizabeth walk in.

"Papa dance!" Elizabeth said, hurrying over to Matthew and holding her arms out to be lifted up.

"Sometime before her season I shall have to teach her that ladies don't cut in," Mary said with a laugh as she stepped out of Matthew's arms so he could dance with their daughter.

"Where did you learn to dance," Matthew asked as he picked Elizabeth up.

"I'm afraid she walked in when Sybil was teaching me a ridiculous new dance. Now when she hears music, she always wants someone to dance with her. You should have seen how embarrassed poor Carson was when she walked in on him humming and then proceeded to request that he dance."

"Papa will always be happy to dance with you sweetheart," Matthew said, spinning Lizzie around making her smile, giggle, and cling to his neck. After two more songs, Lizzie was yawning and falling asleep again his shoulder. Another dance and she was fast asleep. He carried her to her nursery with Mary walking beside them. After Mary pulled back the covers, Matthew laid Lizzie on the bed, careful not to wake her. He knelt down and kissed her softly. "Papa will dance with you again when I come back. I promise you," he said before kissing forehead again. He could feel Mary gently squeeze his shoulder as he bid their sleeping daughter goodbye.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

_February 20, 1918,_

_My darling Matthew,_

_Other than the fact that I miss you sorely, all is well here at Downton. Very well in fact. Edith was safely delivered of a daughter yesterday. She seems most pleased to have had a girl and named her Victoria. Elizabeth was less than impressed with her new cousin and promptly ran off to play with Robbie whom she finds much more entertaining. _

_Mr. Bates recently traveled to London to meet again with Mr. Murray. It seems the divorce is nearly final though Mrs. Bates has made ugly but vague threats if he should go through with it. I must tell you that Mr. Bates has said that her threats extended to our family as well, though what she could do to us, I cannot guess. I assured Mr. Bates that there was nothing she could do to harm the family and that if he desired to continue with the divorce, our support would not waiver. _

_I pray you are well and safe._

_Your loving wife,_

_Mary_

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

_March 8, 1918_

_My darling Mary,_

_Please pass my sincere congratulations on to Edith. Lizzie may not be interested in her little cousin Victoria now, but I suspect in a few years, she shall be glad to have another girl around. _

_I am so very proud of you for your support of Mr. Bates. Divorce is not something that should be taken lightly, but in truth, this war should remind all of us that life is uncertain and we all should grasp a chance at happiness when we can. I think Anna would make him happy and that he he would do the same for her. _

_It is a strange life we live my darling. It is so odd that one day I can be in heaven at Downton and the next I can be in the hell of the trenches. Know that I think of you always and pray that soon we will be together. My heart aches for you (along with other parts of me best unmentioned)._

_All my love,_

_Matthew_

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Late March 1918

"I received a letter from Matthew yesterday. He is doing well and thinks the tide of war has turned so much in our favor that it is only a matter of time before the Germans realize it and surrender," Mary told Isobel after Anna had delivered their tea. Mary took a cup of tea but avoided the sweets on the tray as her stomach had been a bit sensitive lately.

"Shrimpy thinks it will all be over by Christmas," Violet added.

"Let us pray it is so," Isobel said.

"Elizabeth will be so pleased to have him home," Mary said. Every morning since Matthew left, Elizabeth had come into Mary's room every morning asking if Papa was there. Each morning, Mary's heart would break for the little girl as she had to tell her "no darling, Papa is not here - not yet. You must be patient a bit longer."

"Where is Elizabeth?"

"I am not sure. She has usually woken from her nap by now. But as soon as she has woken, nanny will bring her to us," Mary said. The ladies enjoyed their tea and small talk for several more minutes.

"Mama," Elizabeth said as she walked slowly toward Mary, carefully balancing a small plate in her hand.

"I am sorry ma'am. Lady Elizabeth was hungry and desired a snack so I took her to the kitchen. She then insisted that she carry her snack in here," the nanny explained.

"It is quite all right. And what have you there Elizabeth?" Mary asked when Elizabeth reached her and set the play on the table near Mary's tea.

"Cheese!" Elizabeth said proudly, lifting a piece up for Mary to see. The pungent smell of the cheese hit Mary's nose, causing her stomach to clench in objection. Mary quickly covered her nose and tried to will her stomach to be calm. But Elizabeth didn't seem to notice her mother's distress and climbed into her lap, munching contentedly on her cheese. It quickly became more than Mary's stomach could take, and she quickly set Elizabeth down. Realizing that she was going to be sick and that there was no time to make it to a bathroom, she grabbed the first thing she saw, a vase, and promptly emptied the contents of her stomach into it.

The silence was palpable as Mary finally finished.

"Sorry about the vase," Mary finally said.

"Oh don't be. Don't be. It was a wedding present from a frightful aunt. I have hated it for half a century. This is the perfect excuse to be rid of it," Violet assured her.

"Mary, are you pregnant?" Isobel asked, handing Mary a handkerchief to wipe her face.

"I think i am. In fact, I've thought so for a couple weeks now, but I didn't want to get my hopes up," Mary confessed.

"I think you can let them soar now, my dear. It was the cheese, wasn't it?" Violet asked. Mary nodded as she pushed the vase away from her. "When I pregnant with Robert, cheese was banned from the Abbey. Even the tiniest whiff of it and I was rushing to the nearest lavatory."

"Mama sick?" Elizabeth asked as she cautiously approached her mother.

"No darling. Mama is fine. Perfectly fine actually," Mary said, pulling Elizabeth onto her lap and kissing her cheek. "Your little brother is just making his presence known."

TBC

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in getting a new chapter up. Work has been very busy but I think I may be able to get another chapter up by mid-week. I hope take the time to let me know what you think. I always love hearing your ideas and thoughts.


	42. Chapter 42

More Than Duty Chapter 42

Late April 1918

"How are you feeling this morning, my lady?" Anna asked when she set a tray of tea and toast in front of Mary.

"Better, but not well enough to brave anything more than dry toast," Mary replied. For the past several weeks, Mary had felt nauseous not just in the morning, but often well into the afternoon as well. With each day that passed, she was more certain that she was indeed pregnant. She had not yet written to Matthew, not because she wanted to withhold the news from him, but only because she wanted to be positive before share the news they had waited so long for. Just this week though, she had missed her third monthly cycle. That combined with all her symptoms convinced her that it was time to tell him.

A knock on the door signaled that Elizabeth was awake and ready to she her mother, but because rising from the bed so soon after waking had caused Mary to become lightheaded recently, Mary instructed Anna to open the door.

"Mama," Elizabeth said, running for bed and climbing clumsily up on it.

"Well good morning my little monkey," Mary said with a laugh as Elizabeth finally made it all the way up onto the bed.

"Key?" Elizabeth asked as she tilted her head to the side making her blond curls bounce about her face.

"No darling, not key - monkey. It is a funny little animal that climbs and swings from the trees," Mary explained.

"See key?" Elizabeth requested.

"Well, I don't have a monkey to show you," Mary said, laughing when Elizabeth pushed out her lower lip in the most adorable pout. "Perhaps next time I go to London, you may come along, and we shall go to the zoo where you can see a monkey and all sorts of other animals," Mary said.

"Papa come?" Elizabeth asked.

"No darling, Papa won't be able to come see you for some time yet. But Mama will take you to London next month. It will be lovely in May and we will have great fun. Won't you like that?" Mary asked, thinking that by next month she would be feeling better and her condition would not yet be readily apparent. Elizabeth nodded eagerly. "Well then it is settled. Perhaps if you are very good this morning, Mama will take you to Ripon today and we can get you a book of animal pictures so you will know them when you get to the zoo."

"Izzy good," Elizabeth assured her.

"Yes my darling, you are very good," Mary agreed. "Now you run along and play while Mama writes a letter. Then we will see about going into town for that book I promised."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

_April 24, 1918_

_My Dearest Matthew,_

_I have wonderful news - news I have wanted to share with you for weeks now but have held off until I was sure. But darling, I am sure now. We are to have another child. I expect he will make his appearance sometime in late October. I couldn't be more pleased unless of course I was able to give you this happy news face to face. Don't worry though, I am content picturing the smile I know is gracing your face as you read this. _

_All my love,_

_Mary_

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

_May 5, 1918_

_My Darling Mary,_

_I am so very happy my love. What of you, my darling - are you well? You must promise me that you will take care of yourself and the precious life you carry. It is so strange to think that for a second time you will likely carry and bear our child before I see you again. I think you know how much I long to be by your side. I still have hope that this war will be over soon and that perhaps I can make it home to you before this babe is born. _

_How is our little Lizzie? Have you told her that she is to have a brother or sister soon? Does she even understand? You must promise to kiss her for me and tell her how very much her Papa loves her. _

_My love to all of you,_

_Matthew_

_\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_

_May 5, 1918_

_Mr. Murray,_

_I am writing to ask that you look into the entail anew. I know that it was looked into several years ago, but at the time, I had no standing to challenge it as I was merely the heir presumptive and the sitting Earl had no interest in breaking it. As the current Earl however, I wish to break it if at all possible. Please bill whatever is necessary to my account. _

_Do not speak of this to Lady Grantham until I have given you leave to do so. I do not wish to raise her hopes if breaking the entail proves impossible. _

_Matthew Crawley, Earl of Grantham_

_/_

_May 15, 1918_

_Lord Grantham,_

_I have begun the legal research into the possibility of breaking Downton's entail and will keep you updated on the progress. _

_On another matter, I have concluded the business you requested I handle in the matter of the divorce of Mr. Bates. The final divorce order will be issued next month on grounds of abandonment. _

_I shall be in touch soon._

_George Murray, esq. _

_\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_

_May 18, 1918_

_My Dearest Matthew,_

_You mustn't worry about me. I am perfectly well. Although I was somewhat unwell for about a month, I have felt wonderful for for the past two weeks. So much so that I made good on a promise I made to Elizabeth and took her London for a visit to the zoo. Oh Matthew, I wish you could have been there. I don't think I have ever seen her so excited. Our visit was last week, but Elizabeth has not stopped jabbering about it and asking when we can go again. But that question is preferable to when she asks someone to make animal noises. Granny absolutely refuses to play along, and I will only agree to do so when Elizabeth and I are completely alone. Just yesterday however, your mother willingly growled like a bear when Elizabeth asked her to right in the middle of tea. Of course, that only encouraged Elizabeth who then requested that poor Isobel make several more animal noises, but your mother did not seem to mind. _

_While I have told Elizabeth that she will soon have a little brother and asked if she would like that, she seemed unimpressed and asked if she could have a monkey. She did seem to understand though when I placed her hand on my belly and told her the baby was growing in there, perhaps because she has seen Edith pregnant so often. Right after I put her hand on my stomach to show her where the baby was, she leaned over and kissed my belly and said hello to the baby. I wish you could have seen it._

_I pray daily that this war will be over soon so that you can be us. Elizabeth and I miss you sorely. _

_Stay safe my darling._

_All my love,_

_Mary _

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

_May 30, 1918_

_My Darling Mary,_

_I am so glad you are doing well. It sounds like you and Lizzie had a wonderful trip, but my darling, you must be sure that you do not over-tire yourself. You must tell Lizzie that when I am next in England, I will be most happy to take her to the zoo again and will make any and all animal noises she requests. _

_I hope to be able to make good on that promise soon. Reinforcements are arriving daily and I suspect we are preparing for a new offensive to bring an end to this war. The Germans have lost already, now it is only a matter of making them realize it. It can't be much longer my darling. _

_Your loving husband,_

_Matthew_

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

June 1918

"Am I ready" Matthew asked when William had finished assisting him in dressing.

"Only you can answer that, sir," William replied, understanding that Matthew was referring to much more than the state of his clothing. They both knew that it would not be long before they went over the top, before they charged straight into enemy fire.

"They're going to chuck everything they've got at us," Matthew said, trying to keep his nerves at bay.

"Then we shall have to chuck it back, won't we, sir?" William responded.

"Quite right. Give me a moment and I will be right out," Matthew said. A moment later, William had left and Matthew stood along. Walking to the small desk, he grabbed the small stuffed dog that Mary had given him as a good luck charm after his first leave. Silently praying that the little dog bring him the luck he would need to make it through the battle, he stuffed the dog into his pocket. Then he reached out and grabbed the latest picture Mary had sent him. Lizzie was sitting next to Mary, her little hand resting on Mary's stomach revealing the slight swell there where their baby rested safely inside. After another look at his girls, he took a deep breath and added the picture to his pocket as well so that if he did fall and had any conscious thought left, he could pull it out so his last sight would be of them.

Grabbing his helm, he put it on his head and walked out into the trench. There he found his men trying to deal with the nerves that sank in before battle. Some were praying, other looking at letters from loved ones, some were smoking a final cigarette. He knew they were all feeling the same thing he was. All then men, regardless of rank, military or otherwise, were feeling the same fears. While Matthew shared these fears, he knew it was his job to calm and inspire his men.

"Now, there's no point pretending this is going to be easy," Matthew called out as he worked his way toward the middle of his men, shaking hands and greeting them as he went. "We're nearly there, chaps! Just hold fast. It won't be long now."

"We're with you sir," one of his men called out.

"I know you are, Wakefield. I can't tell you how much lighter that makes the task," Matthew replied. Pulling his watch from his pocket, Matthew watched the seconds tick by as the appointed time drew near. In the final moments before the whistles would blow, Matthew's hand touched the picket where the stuffed dog and the picture rested while he prayed that he would make it through the battle and home to his family.

"Make bayonets!" another officer called and Matthew knew the time had arrive. Taking a deep breath, Matthew brought the whistle to his lips and blew to give the command to go over.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

In the library at Downton, Mary was having tea with her mother and grandmother while Elizabeth played on the floor with her dog. Without warning, Mary felt light-headed and her teacup went crashing to the ground.

"I'm so sorry," Mary said, trying to figure out why that had just happened. She had felt fine and then all of the sudden she was taken by a chill.

"What happened?" Granny asked.

"Have you eaten? Are you ill?" Cora asked.

"I don't know. I suddenly felt terribly cold," Mary said. Elizabeth had scrambled to her feet when the cup dropped and was now inching carefully toward her mother.

"Mama sick?" she asked.

"No sweetheart, not sick," Mary said, reaching out to draw Elizabeth to her. Picking the little girl up, Mary settled her on her lap and held her daughter close. The odd feeling remained though, and Mary had the unsettling feeling that something wasn't right.

TBC

Author's Note: So we've made it to 2x05. Yes, Mary is pregnant, that was not a tease in the last chapter. This pregnancy is actually the only one I had originally envisioned when I was originally planning this story. I changed and added Lizzie in response to all the reviews asking for a pregnancy much earlier and honestly I am glad I did. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think because as you see, your comments can make a difference in how the story plays out.

Also, I have two more cross country flights this week so there is the possibility that I may even be able to get another chapter done this week :)


	43. Chapter 43

More Than Duty Chapter 43

Carson pulled his robe tighter around him as he walked to the door wondering who could be pounding so incessantly at the door at such an ungodly hour.

"Yes, what is it?" Carson demanded when he opened the door.

"Telegram from the War Department," the man said, handing an envelope to the butler before excusing himself stating that he had additional telegrams that needed to be delivered.

"What is it Mr. Carson?" Mrs. Hughes asked from several feet behind him having also been awakened by the knocking.

"A telegram from the War Department," Carson replied.

"At this time of night? Goodness, that can't be good news," Mrs. Hughes mused.

"No, I am afraid good news is most unlikely. Awaken Anna please Mrs. Hughes. She will need to rouse Lady Grantham. You should also awaken Mrs. Patmore. The family will need tea and perhaps something more," Carson instructed with a heavy heart, turning the telegram envelope over repeatedly in his hand, hoping that it did not contain the news he feared.

"Of course, but if I may suggest, perhaps it would be best to awaken Lady Cora first. Whatever this news is, would it not be better for Lady Grantham to hear it from her mother?" Mrs. Hughes suggested.

"I think your suggestion is a good one. I shall wake Branson. No doubt someone will need to carry whatever news this telegram contain to Mrs. Crawley," Carson replied.

After awakening both Anna and Mrs. Patmore, Mrs. Hughes knocked softly on the door to Lady Cora's bedroom before entering.

"Yes? What is it?" Cora asked sleepily from her bed, rubbing her eyes as she tried to adjust to the darkness.

"My lady, we've had a telegram from the War Department," Mrs. Hughes explained, handing the envelope to Cora who had now sat up in bed.

"Has Mary been told?" Cora asked before she noticed that the envelope was still sealed.

"No, my lady. Mr. Carson and I thought it would be best to awaken your ladyship first in the event that you felt it would be best to deliver the news to her. Anna is waiting outside the door to awaken Lady Grantham if that is your preference."

"No, I think it is best if I do it," Cora replied as her fingers ran over the envelope. She wasn't sure if she should wait and let Mary open it or if it would be better to open it herself so Mary could hear the news from her mother's lip instead of a cold telegram. Before she could dwell on it any further, Cora tore the envelope open, silently praying that it did not contain the news that Mary was now a widow.

"Injured, but not dead," Cora said when she had read the short telegram.

"Badly injured?"

"Seriously injured I am afraid," Cora explain as she stood and donned her dressing gown. A glance at the clock revealed that it was shortly after four in the morning. "You may come in Anna," Cora called and a few seconds later Anna joined them.

"Anna, Lord Grantham has been gravely injured. The army is transporting him to the local hospital where he is supposed to arrive this afternoon. This news will be hard on Mary and even more so given her present condition. He won't arrive for many more hours. I think it best that we let Mary sleep at least for a few more hours. There is nothing for her to do now anyway except worry and worry is not good for a woman in her condition. We'll let her sleep until dawn and then I will break the news to her," Cora said.

"As you say my lady," Mrs. Hughes replied.

"Have someone awaken Branson. Once Mary knows, we will need to inform Cousin Isobel. And Anna, go wake nanny. Tell her not to bring Lady Elizabeth to Mary this morning until Mary calls for her," Cora instructed, knowing that if Mary were to break down into tears, she would not want Elizabeth to see it.

Three hours later, Cora knocked gently on Mary's door and entered to find Mary sitting up in bed.

"Mama, this is a surprise. I had just rung for Anna," Mary said as Cora closed the door and walked to Mary's bedside. "He's active this morning," Mary said with a soft smile as he hand rested on her rounded belly.

"My dear, there is something I have to tell you," Cora said as she sat down her daughter.

"Goodness, that sounds serious," Mary said lightly until she looked up and saw the expression on her mother's face. "What is it?" Mary demanded, feeling her heart begin to race as she began to suspect the worst.

"My darling, I am afraid Matthew has been seriously wounded," Cora explained reaching out to grasp Mary's hand.

Mary gasped at the news she had long dreaded. "How badly wounded? When? How did you hear?"

"There was a telegram this morning. The army is transporting him home even as we speak. He should be here at the hospital this afternoon so we shall know much more then," Cora said as she reached into her pocket and handed the telegram to Mary.

Mary read it quickly, but it contained no more information than that which her mother had already shared. Mary pulled the chord to summon Anna again before quickly getting out of bed and pulling her robe on.

"Mary, you mustn't get overly anxious. It is not good for someone in your condition," Cora said gently as Mary paced the room trying to gather her thoughts and plan.

"I can't be anything but anxious. I am sure you can understand that," Mary replied harshly.

"What can I do, my lady?" Anna asked when she entered the room.

"Have Branson ready to drive me in half an hour. I need to go to the hospital, but we shall stop at Crawley House first as Isobel needs to be told."

"I can go to Isobel," Cora offered.

"No, I should be the one to tell her," Mary said firmly. "Anna, I'll need you to help me dress. Something non-restrictive so I can help tend to Lord Grantham as soon as he arrives. Mama, Elizabeth will likely not be awake by the time I go, so I would leave her in your care. Please be sure that no one speaks about Matthew's injury in her presence. In fact, it would be best if she not know that he is here yet."

"Of course. I will be sure that Mr. Carson lets all the servants know to not speak of the matter in front of the child," Cora assured her.

Several hours later, Mary was pacing by the bed that had been readied for Matthew when he arrived. She had fluffed the pillow and smoothed the blankets more times that she could remember simply to have something to do during this wait that seemed to drag out. Isobel and Sybil were with her, but they seemed to sense her need for solitude and were talking quietly in the corner.

"Lady Grantham, I do wish you would sit down and try to relax. As I have told you several times, all this worry and excitement is not good for a lady in your condition," Dr. Clarkson said.

"And as I have told you, there is simply nothing to be done for it," Mary retorted wishing people would stop telling her to cease her worrying as if it were possible for her to do that.

"I understand your desire to see Lord Grantham when he arrives, but I wish you would agree to wait in my office until we have had the chance to clean him up a bit first. His condition and indeed his appearance may be very distressing for you," Dr. Clarkson suggested again.

"No more distressing than the images my mind would be creating," Mary replied.

Before Dr. Clarkson could respond, and orderly entered and called out "Doctor, the truck full of the injured has arrived."

Dr. Clarkson moved to follow him and Mary was right on his heels. "Lady Grantham, I appreciate your concern for your husband, but please, just remain here. There is no need for you to see every wounded man who is pulled off that truck. Just wait right here and it won't be but a few minutes until Lord Grantham is brought in."

"I'm not much good at hanging back, I'm afraid. I will wait until you bring him in, but want no more talk of me leaving then or of me hanging back. I will stay out of the way when you need to examine him, but I will be by his side," Mary said with determination.

"Very well. Everyone to their posts!" Dr. Clarkson ordered as he hurried outside to meet the truck.

"You stand here," Sybil said gently, indicating the side of the bed Mary should be on so that the orderlies had a clear path to settle Matthew on the bed when he arrived.

"Nurse Crawley, this one's the Captain the doctor said you were waiting for," an orderly said as he and another carried a stretcher toward them.

"Yes sir" Sybil replied, moving to assist them in moving Matthew from the stretcher to the hospital bed. As Sybil glanced up at her sister, she had expected her to be frozen in terror at seeing how awful Matthew looked, but all she saw was determination.

"What can I do?" Mary asked.

"You can't help us lift, not in your condition, dear. Sybil, help me with his feet," Isobel said. As Mary looked on, Isobel and Sybil assisted the two orderlies in lifting Matthew onto the bed.

"Matthew, darling, can you hear me?" Mary asked, kneeling beside him and caressing his face heedless of the dirt and blood caked on it.

"He's breathing, but he's not been conscious since we've had him. We filled him full of morphine," the stretcher bearer explained.

"Thank you," Sybil said as Mary reached out for the card attached to Matthew's shirt.

"What does it say?" Isobel asked.

"Probable spinal damage," Mary replied, observing the worried look that passed between Sybil and Isobel. "What does that mean exactly?"

"It could mean anything. We'll know more once he is awake and has been examined," Sybil replied, intentionally keeping her answer vague.

"Oh my dear boy," Isobel said as she say in the chair on the opposite side of the bed from Mary. She took Matthew's hand in her's and squeezed it, but he remained unresponsive. In an attempt to give them a moment of privacy, Sybil busied herself by picking up the rest of Matthew's uniform that had been brought in with him when something fell from it.

"What's this doing here?" Sybil asked holding a small stuffed dog that she recognized as belonging to Mary.

"I gave it to him for luck. He was probably carrying it when he fell," Mary said, reaching out for it.

"If only it had worked," Sybil said sadly as she passed the dog to her sister.

"He's alive, isn't he?" Mary said as she set the dog on the bedside table hoping it would bring them a bit more luck.

"Well said," Isobel said.

"He needs to be washed. This bit can be grim. Sometimes we have to cut the clothes they've traveled in and there is bound to be a lot of blood," Sybil said, wanting to give Mary warning.

"How hot should the water be?" Mary asked.

"I'll get the water," Isobel said. "Why don't you check his pockets before we have to remove his clothing," Isobel suggested. In his pockets, Mary found the most recent picture she had sent him and a sealed letter addressed to her.

"Why wouldn't he have posted this?" Mary asked.

"When they go into battle, the men often carry a last letter to their loved ones, just in case. If they survive, they get rid of it, but he was in no condition to do that," Sybil said.

"Well, he's survived," Mary said, putting the letter on the bedside table, intent not to open it and possibly tempt fate.

\\\\\\\

It was late that afternoon when Cora and Violet were having tea in the sitting room while Elizabeth was playing quietly on the floor with her doll when Edith arrived unexpectedly.

"I've only just heard that Matthew was hurt. How is he?" Edith asked without preamble as she entered the room.

At that, Elizabeth looked up knowing that while she called him Papa, other people called him Matthew or Lord Grantham. "Papa hurt?" she asked.

"I'm terribly sorry, I didn't see her there," Edith said, the regret clear in her voice.

"Papa hurt?" Elizabeth asked again, this time walking over to her aunt and grandmother.

"He is, but the doctor and your mama will take very good care of him so he will be much better soon," Edith tried to assure her.

"See Papa?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm sorry my dear, that is not possible yet," Cora said.

"See Mama?" Elizabeth tried.

"You Mama is with you Papa so that is not possible yet either. But soon," Cora said gently and this shocked Elizabeth for no one ever told her no when she wanted to see her mama.

"See now," Elizabeth insisted, stomping her little foot to make her point.

"We can't do that right now. But what if ring for Mr. Carson and see if he can find you some cake or a cookie?" Cora suggested, knowing that sweets were the best way to distract the child.

"No cake! Want Mama," Elizabeth said as the tears started to fall down her cheeks. The women tried to console the crying child, but when it became clear that no one was going to take her to her Mama, Elizabeth's cries got louder and louder as she threw herself on the floor continuing to shout her her Mama.

"Is everything all right ma'am?" Carson asked, being drawn into the room by the screams.

"Lady Elizabeth is just a little upset. Perhaps it would be best if you took her to nanny in the nursery?" Cora suggested.

"Of course ma'am," Carson said, leaning down and whispering some comforting words in Elizabeth's ear before picking the child up.

"No, no, no, want Mama, want Papa!" Elizabeth screamed, kicking Carson as he carried her from the room.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Mary had been sitting next to Matthew's bedside holding his hand since they had finished bathing him a few hours ago. She had tried talking to him, but he had remained unresponsive. One time, when the baby was kicking her particularly hard, she had taken Matthew's hand and pressed it against her stomach so he could feel it too, but still he did not respond. "The morphine will take a bit to wear off, but he likely be up soon," Sybil had assured her, but that had been over an hour ago. Just a few moments ago, Isobel had left to seek out Dr. Clarkson to ask him if he would come examine Matthew again.

Mary reached out to brush a lock of his now clean hair from his forehead when she heard him mumble her name.

"I'm hear darling," Mary replied, squeezing his hand.

"Mary…..Mary…" he said again as his eyes slowly fluttered open and then closed again as the light rushed in.

"I'm right here my darling," Mary said, moving from the chair to sit on the bed next to him, leaning in to use her body to shield the light from his face.

"You're here," he whispered when he opened his eyes again and saw her.

"Where else would I be?" Mary asked, stroking his face before leaning down to press a quick, gentle kiss to his lips. "Your mother is here too. She just stepped away to find the doctor."

As Matthew looked at her in wondering, working to convince himself that she was real and not another dream, his eyes fell on her rounded stomach. With great effort, he managed to reach out his arm so he could bring his hand to feel her stomach where there child was growing within. Mary's hand came to rest on his, pushing it firmly so he could feel the baby move.

"Darling….." he said, his voice choking with emotion.

"The doctor will be here in a moment Mary," Isobel said as she walked back toward the bed.

"Mother," Matthew said softly when Isobel entered his line of sight.

"Oh my boy," Isobel said, taking hold of the hand that wasn't resting on Mary's stomach.

"He woke up just a few moments ago," Mary said, offering Matthew a drink of water from the cup that had been resting on the bedside table. His throat felt raw and scratchy so he gratefully gulped down nearly all the water in the cup.

"Careful Matthew. Go slowly or your apt to be sick," Isobel warned.

"How do you feel darling?" Mary asked, taking the cup back from him.

"My bad and head feel awful, but I am so terribly glad to see you," Matthew replied. His head felt heavy, like he had been heavily medicated, but his back ached horribly even though whatever pain medication they had dosed him with.

"Ah Captain Crawley, you're awake," Dr. Clarkson said when he arrive shortly later. After several questions regarding how Matthew felt, Dr. Clarkson performed a physical examination.

"Lady Grantham, may I see you privately?" Dr. Clarkson requested. Mary agreed and joined Dr. Clarkson in the hall, leave Matthew who had fallen back asleep, in Isobel's care.

"Lady Grantham, the injury on Lord Grantham's back is severe. I fear he has damaged his spine."

"What exactly does that mean? Can you repair it?" Mary asked.

"I fear it is likely to have been severed. If I am right, he will have lost all function below the waist."

"But you can fix it, can't you?"

"I wish we could, my lady, but sadly it is not possible. If you would like, I can call I spinal specialist form London for a second opinion."

"Yes, have him here as soon as possible."

"Of course. I am so very sorry, but it is not the end for him. I see no reason why he shouldn't regain his health and have an otherwise normal life."

"Normal?" Mary asked, wondering how Dr. Clarkson could call life in a wheelchair normal.

"Well apart from walking and the other, yes normal."

"The other?" Mary asked.

"Well, when I said he lost all function below the waist," Dr. Clarkson said, clearing his throat "I meant all function. I'll give you a moment to yourself," Dr. Clarkson said, leaving her alone in his office.

It took a moment for the magnitude of his words to sink in for Mary as it hadn't occurred to her before that they had lost that too. How unfair life was to take so much away from him, from them. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes but before they could fall, she felt a powerful kick from the babe she carried, reminding her that as unlucky as this situation was, there was still hope.

TBC

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I hope to have another chapter out this week


	44. Chapter 44

More Than Duty Chapter 44

Mary yawned and rubbed her neck in an attempt to ease the pain in her neck and shoulders that developed over a long night of sitting awake in a wooden chair. Stretching her arms above her head proved equally futile in relieving the soreness of her back. There were no empty beds and not enough room on Matthew's bed for both of them, so Mary had been left with the options of the chair or returning to home. Leaving Matthew was not something Mary was willing to consider, especially as he had not yet been told the extent of his injuries. No, he would need her to be there when he found out and he would need her reassurances and condolences when the time came. So she stayed. A night sitting awake in the chair had taken its toll on her body and by the unceasing movements of the baby inside her, Mary was certain he was as uncomfortable as she was. With a soft groan, Mary rose to her feet, hoping that moving about would help.

"Goodness, Lady Grantham, have you been here all night?" Dr. Clarkson asked when walked to where Matthew lay sleeping.

"I have," Mary replied, noticing that Matthew had started to stir at the sounds of their voices.

"Mary," Matthew said softly as his eyes fluttered open and searched for his wife.

"I'm here darling," Mary responded, moving closer and sitting gently on the bed. He smiled softly at her when their eyes met, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips.

"How are you feeling this morning, my lord?" Dr. Clarkson asked.

"Sore. My back aches constantly, and the slightest movement of it causes horrendous pain," Matthew replied. The pain was nearly unbearable when he made even the slightest movement so he tried very hard to lay completely still.

"The morphine has worn off. We'll give you another dose immediately. It won't eliminate the pain, but it should ease it," Dr. Clarkson said.

"Don't give me as much as last time. I don't like how it dull my senses," Matthew replied, wanting to be able to think straight even if he had to lay still.

"As you say, my lord, but if the pain becomes too great to bear, send for me and we will increase the dose. Now, Lady Grantham, I fear I must strongly insist that you return home and rest. All this anxiety is bad enough, but a sleepless night spent in a chair is not at all healthy for a woman in your condition. You must take greater care of yourself."

Mary shot Dr. Clarkson a furious look but before she could respond Matthew spoke. "You stayed here all night?"

"Of course I did," Mary replied.

"Mary, you mustn't risk your health. Go home darling. I am in good hands and shall be fine," Matthew said.

"And if I were laying in the hospital, would you leave me? Or would you spend the night in the very chair I did?" Mary asked, leaning in to brush a lock of hair from his forehead.

"That is different," Matthew said, catching her hand and holding it firmly in his.

"It is not different. I've already told Dr. Clarkson that I shan't be sent away, and you shall have no more luck in this matter than he did."

"It is different my darling, for you carry a precious bundle that we have long hoped for. If you don't go home and rest for your own health, do it for the baby," Matthew said, bringing their linked hands to rest on her stomach.

"It is not rest I object to, it is leaving you. I won't do it," Mary said. If she went home and something happened to him while she was done, it would haunt her forever. No, she needed to be here, especially for the moment when he found out about his paralysis.

"If I may, there may be a solution. I propose moving Lord Grantham into my office. There are no empty beds here at the hospital, but we can easily have one of the hospital beds from Downton moved here. Until it arrives, Lady Grantham is welcome to rest upon the couch in my office," Dr. Clarkson suggested.

"Will it hurt him to be moved?" Mary asked.

"Perhaps a bit, but the orderlies shall be very careful to jar him as little as possible," Dr. Clarkson replied.

"It doesn't matter. A bit more pain is worth it to keep you here with me while still ensuring that you rest properly. How quickly can you see to it Doctor?" Matthew asked.

"Right away my lord," Dr. Clarkson replied, leaving to summon orderlies and prepare his office.

"Matthew, call him back. I don't want to cause you any more pain," Mary said.

"My darling, a bit of pain is worth it to ensure that you rest while still getting to keep you by my side for the truth is I have no desire to be separated from you."

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure," he replied, squeezing her hand.

The move was accomplished with minimal pain for Matthew. He had been given another dose of morphine prior to the move and was already feeling a bit groggy when they came to move his bed.

"Are you feeling alright darling?" Mary asked when the orderlies had left them alone in the privacy of Dr. Clarkson's office.

"I'll be better if you come sit by me," Matthew said, dodging the question. Mary did as he requested. When she sat next to him on the bed, she began running her fingers through his hair in the manner she knew he liked. Whether it was her soothing touch or the effect of the morphine, he wasn't sure, but he soon fell asleep.

Even when she was sure that Matthew was sleeping, Mary continued to run her fingers through his hair, finding that the touch that she intended to sooth and comfort him was working to comfort her as well.

"How is our boy?" Mary heard. When she looked up, she saw Isobel standing in the doorway observing the scene before her. "No, don't get up," Isobel said softly when Mary moved to greet her.

"He doesn't know yet," Mary said, having told Isobel of Matthew's diagnosis yesterday while he was sleeping. "I just don't know how to tell him."

"You'll find a way, my dear," Isobel replied. Mary nodded, hoping that Isobel was correct. "You look exhausted Mary. Have you slept at all?" Isobel asked leading Mary to admit that she had not. "You really must rest dear."

"I will. i just wanted to be sure he was sleeping first," Mary replied.

"I'm very glad he has you to help him though this. He couldn't ask for a more devoted wife," Isobel said.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Elizabeth woke up from her nap in a very grumpy mood. All morning she had been asking to see her Mama and Papa, but all morning she had been denied, resulting in tears and fits. Finally, she had been sent to her nursery where she had cried herself to sleep. When she woke up and opened her eyes, she found she was alone in her room. She knew that if she cried or called out, her nanny would come quickly to see what she needed, but remembering how nanny had reused to take her to her mama, Elizabeth decided to remain silent.

Instead she laid in bed pouting wondering why no one would let her see her mama and papa. She had asked everyone she saw - nanny, Grandma Cora, Granny Violet, Aunt Edith, Carson, and even Anna - but everyone had said no and tried to distract her with one thing or another. Who else could she ask, she wondered. Then it dawned on her that she could find the man who drove the car. Mama always told him where to go. Maybe if she could find him, Elizabeth could simply tell him where to go too.

Climbing quietly out of bed, Elizabeth tip-toed to the door and slowly pushed it open. Peaking around the door, Elizabeth was happy to see that the hallway was empty. Venturing into the hallway, she moved quickly but quietly through the hall and down the staircase without being seen. She wasn't sure where to find the driver, but she though her best chance was to go downstairs to that room by the kitchen where lots of people seemed to gather. Luckily, Elizabeth knew the way, having previously snuck off to the kitchen on numerous occasions in hope of getting sweets from Mrs. Patmore.

She had one close call right before she made it to the door that led to the kitchen when Mrs. Hughes came walking by, but Elizabeth quickly hid behind a chair and Mrs. Hughes continued on without noticing the little girl. Elizabeth waited a moment after Mrs. Hughes had vanished from view before rushing for the door. A few moments later and she had arrived at the room across from the kitchen. Elizabeth's eyes were scanning the room for the man who drove the cars when she was noticed.

"Lady Elizabeth, what are you doing down here all by yourself?" Mr. Bates asked, standing from his seat at the table. "I'll bet Mrs. Patmore has a cookie just for you," Bates said, having seen the little girl sneak into the kitchen often enough in the past.

Elizabeth ignored him when she saw Branson sitting further down the table drinking a cup of coffee.

"Go car. Take Izzy see Mama," Elizabeth said in her most authoritative voice when she stopped in front of Branson.

"I'm sorry Lady Elizabeth, but I can't do that," Branson replied.

"Can do!" Elizabeth yelled, stomping her foot. "Go car. Go to Mama. Go now."

"What is all the commotion about?" Carson said, entering the room.

"Lady Elizabeth is displeased that Mr. Branson has not agreed to take her to see her mother," Bates explained.

"Will go. Will go now!" Elizabeth insisted.

"Now Lady Elizabeth, you know that is not possible. You must be patient. I am certain your mother will be home soon," Carson explained gently.

"Want Mama," Elizabeth said in a shaky voice as the tears now rolled down her face. Carson's heart when out to the weeping child as he scooped her up into his arms to go seek out Lady Cora.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

When Matthew awoke, it took him a moment to realize where he was. When his eyes fell upon Mary sleeping peacefully on the couch a few feet from him, he smiled at the sight. She had been so good to him, too good in truth for she should have been looking after her own health instead of only his. He never tired of looking at her, especially now as he had never seen her round with child before. He reached out an arm in an attempt to touch her rounded stomach, but he was an inch or two shy of being able to reach. Deciding that the movement would be worth it, Matthew tried to shift his body a few inches to the right. He groaned loudly at the pain which was much greater than expected. It was then that he noticed that although he had managed to shift his torso a few inches, his lower body had not moved at all. Confused, he tried again, groaning again as the pain washed over him.

"Matthew, what's wrong darling?" Mary asked as she was awakened to his painfully groaning.

"I was trying to move a bit, and I can't seem to move my legs - or feel them now that I think about it. Did Clarkson mention what that might be?" Matthew asked, his concern increasing when he saw the stricken look on Mary's face. "Tell me," he insisted.

"Darling, you've been here for barely twenty-four hours. Nothing will have settled down yet," Mary said evasively.

"You must tell me Mary."

"He says you may have damaged your spine," Mary admitted, sitting next to him on his bed and taking his hand in hers.

"How long will it take to repair?" Matthew asked.

"You can't expect them to put timings on that sort of thing."

"But he did say it would get better?"

"He says the first task is to rebuild your health, and that what we have to concentrate on," Mary said.

"I see," Matthew said bitterly, the truth dawning upon him that his legs could not be repaired.

"And he says there was no reason why you should not have a perfectly full and normal life," Mary said, fighting back her urge to cry, knowing that she needed to be strong for him.

"Just not a very mobile one," Matthew said. When he looked into Mary's eyes, he could tell there was something more. "What else?"

"Matthew, this can wait. Let's just focus on rebuilding your health."

"You must tell me Mary. Please darling."

"It seems you have lost all function below your waist," Mary said carefully, her heart breaking for him as she saw on his face the moment when the terrible truth sunk in.

"Oh God," Matthew whispered when he realized what she was telling him - that they could never be lovers again, that he would never experience the pleasure of losing himself in her again, that this child she carried would be their last.

"It doesn't matter darling, it truly doesn't," Mary assured him, leaning down to caress his face and drop soft kisses along it.

"Of course it matters," he said bitterly, turning his face away from hers as he fought in vain to keep the tears welling up in his eyes to keep from falling.

"Oh Matthew, please look at me," Mary said. It took a few moments, but eventually he turned to look at her and she saw a lone tear streaming down his face. Gently she brushed it away. "Oh darling, you must listen to me. It truly doesn't matter to me. That doesn't mean that I won't miss being with you in that way, because I will, but I'd rather have you on any terms - even these terms - than lose you."

"But Mary, you deserve so much more than I can give you now."

"No one can give me what you do. You give me more joy than I ever thought I would know."

"But darling…"

"Would you love me any less if our positions were reversed?" Mary asked. "And don't say you would, because I know you wouldn't."

"Of course I wouldn't," he finally admitted.

"Then why would you think it would be any different for me? The words might not always come as easily to me as they do to you, but my darling, you must know that I love you every bit as much as you love me."

"My darling Mary," Matthew said, pulling on her arms to bring her down to him. Mary let him hold her tightly as he wept. He wasn't sure if their were tears born of the loss he had suffered or of relief to know that Mary would stand by him. Of course he knew she loved him, but he always had lingering doubts that perhaps her love didn't equal his, but he was now certain she did.

"Would you like some tea darling?" Mary asked when his tears had stopped and his breathing had calmed, thinking he would appreciate a moment alone to collect himself.

"That would be perfect, thank you love," Matthew said. Mary kissed him tenderly before rising to fetch the tea.

"Mary, a car from Downton just arrived," Sybil said when Mary had entered the hallway and closed the door behind her.

Nodding, Mary walked out of the hospital with Sybil to meet the car gasping when she saw Elizabeth being helped out of the car.

"Mama," Elizabeth yelled. When Mary leaned down, Elizabeth rushed straight into her mother's arms, locking her arms tightly around Mary's neck. Mary held her daughter close, kissing her cheek over and over.

"What are you doing here darling?" Mary asked, looking toward Cora who stood a few feet away. While Mary was pleased to see her daughter, she had not wanted her here at the hospital before Matthew was on his way back to health.

"Want Mama," Elizabeth said, still holding tight to Mary.

"Mama missed you too darling," Mary assured her.

"Want Papa too," Elizabeth added, causing Mary to shoot an accusatory look at her mother.

"Edith accidentally let it slip that Matthew had been injured and was here with you. Elizabeth has been upset ever since so I thought it best to bring her to you," Cora explained.

"See Papa?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, darling, Papa is hurt. I think it best if you wait a bit longer to see him," Mary said.

"Please," Elizabeth asked, her lower lip trembling as she tried not to cry. Mary wasn't sure about letting Elizabeth see Matthew, but on the other hand, seeing Elizabeth might raise Matthew's spirits.

"I think it would be alright," Sybil said.

"Elizabeth, if you see Papa, you must be very quiet, no screaming, no running," Mary began.

"Izzy quiet - so, so quiet," Elizabeth assured her.

"And you must be gentle when you touch Papa, like when you touch Mama's belly," Mary added.

"Izzy gentle. See Papa now? Please," Elizabeth asked.

"Very well, you may see him for a bit," Mary agreed. As she carried Elizabeth toward Clarkson's office, she reminded her again of the rules. When Mary pushed the door open, she saw Matthew laying on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

"Darling, I'm afraid I don't have tea, but I have something I think you might like better," Mary said, closing the door behind her before walking the short distance to the bed.

"Lizzie," Matthew whispered when he saw his daughter in Mary's arms.

"It seems someone could not wait to see you," Mary said as she sat Elizabeth down on the bed beside Matthew, reminding her once again to be very gentle.

"My darling Lizzie, Papa always wants to see you," Matthew said, lifting his hand to touch her soft blond curls.

"Papa hurt?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes, but seeing you and your Mama helps make it better," Matthew said.

Elizabeth reached her small hand out to softly touch the cuts on Matthew's face. "Papa fall down?"

"Something like that," Matthew said, smiling at her innocence.

"Izzy fall down," Elizabeth said, showing Matthew her elbow where she had a small scab from a fall that happened when she was chasing Robbie outside.

"Did you now?" Matthew said, bring her little arm to his lips to kiss the scab.

"No hurt now," Elizabeth said. Then she surprised Matthew by leaning forward and placing a very soft kiss on one of his cuts.

"Oh my sweet girl," Matthew said, hugging her tightly to him and kissing her forehead.

"I'll go get that tea now," Mary said, wanting to give Matthew some time alone with their daughter.

Mary found Anna waiting to speak with her in the lobby.

"How are my lady?" Anna asked.

"Tired, but other than that as well as can be expected I suppose," Mary replied.

"I brought you a few things to make you more comfortable, some clothing, a hair brush, and a few other things. Mr. Bates sent a small case for his Lordship as well. Oh, and Mr. Carson asked that I give you this telegram that arrived this morning," Anna said, handing a sealed envelope to Mary. Mary glanced at the envelope before shoving it into her pocket to deal with later.

After speaking a bit further with Anna and then updating her mother on Matthews condition, Mary returned to Clarkson's office with the promised tea. She smiled at the sight of Elizabeth curled up against Matthew's side. As she moved closer, it appeared that Matthew was about to fall asleep again.

"Elizabeth, darling, Papa is very tired. I think it is time for you to go home," Mary said.

"No stay," Elizabeth insisted, clinging to Matthew's side.

"Let her stay. She can nap with me," Matthew said. Mary waited for Elizabeth's plea of "no nap" that came anytime someone make the suggestion of a nap, but it didn't come. Instead, the child snuggled against her father as she looked up at Mary for permission.

"Oh very well, but when she wants to sleep in our bed at home, don't blame me," Mary said in mock indignation before leaning down to kiss them both. Soon, Elizabeth and Matthew were both sleeping while Mary rested on the couch sipping a cup of tea. Remembering the telegram, Mary reached into her pocket to retrieve it.

_I have come into possession of a story about you and a Turk. I suggest you meet me in my office before the end of the week. Sir R. Carlisle _

TBC

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next up, Mary visits Carisle and Matthew gets a visit from a specialist. Let me know what you think :)


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